"I, I loved you much. It's not enough. You love pulling me in a love puff. And life is like a pipe and I'm a penny rolling up the walls inside," I sang softly as I played Amy Winehouse's iconic song on the piano during break period, my original music set to the side while my main piece was still waiting for me to be completed. It had been a chaotic few days with what awas going on and while I was working on some of my other pieces, the one that that remained unfinished still beckoned me to have that heartsong ready to sing to the world.

And unfortunately, I wasn't sure if I was even close to getting that completed because there'd been a lot of themes that I didn't want to touch back on regarding my old neighborhood and my birth family: the times spent in silent tears while everyone was living it up, the days where I'd have to fend for myself thanks to Mom's blackmailing, me having to self-depreciate my worth to make everyone else happy- everything  and anything that I was looking to escape from with a flask of vodka and some Vicodin pills that I was about to have as a final meal that fateful day.

And even though I was encouraged to translate my feelings into that particular symphony, I wanted to originally burn it to ashes and move on to something new.

"We only said goodbye with words. I died a hundred times," I continued to sing while adding a jazzy twist to the original song. "You go back to her, and I go back to. We only said goodbye with words. I died a hundred times. You go back to her, and I go back to, I go back to black."

"That was beautiful, Demario," Mrs. Bermudez-Estrada said gently as I continued into a musical interlude. "I still am amazed how you can play so extravagantly on the piano yet was ignored by the people who brought you into this world. And from the song you played, I took it that you had them on your mind."

I heaved a sighed, pausing from playing the piano as I faced the Hispanic band director and music teacher. "I had a LOT on my mind, recently," I replied. "Ryan, Jillian, Theo, everything that has my life turning on its head for the past couple of weeks. I'm actually surprised that I lasted this long because who knows what can happen at this point."

The older woman smiled faintly as she motioned for me to continue playing, which I decided to do with a little tribute to Miles Davis. "What about your family, your birth family that is?"

"What about them?"

"Have you heard from them lately?"

I shook my head no. "They made their intentions clear the afternoon after we laid my parents, brothers, and sisters to rest," I commented fiercely. "They all had no regrets of disowning me and hated me because my mother did. All of my aunts, uncles, cousins, and distant kinfolk all but wanted me out of their lives in the same way that my mother's final words to me echoed in my head. 'I wished for thunder and lightning to kill you.' I gave them everything and anything I could offer them and yet I was the one who got left in the cold. As far as I'm concerned, they are not my family any more than I was not family to them."

"That's a bit glib and harsh to say," Mrs. Bermudez-Estrada replied, frowning at that last sentence as the music transitioned to some Strauss.

"Well, it was the cold reality check that I needed to see," I couldn't help but reply sharply. "You know something, ma'am? That day when I was orphaned and disowned, I was all out of fight and was ready to escape a lifetime of homelessness and not having any options for survival save for drug-dealing or sex-trafficking. A flask of vodka and some Vicodin pills were the key to a lethal exodus before now and I was ready to end it all. But fate had other plans for me and...well, here I am."

"Oh, Demario," the band director and music teacher said sadly.

"Yeah, it's a tough pill to swallow, but it's facts. And the unfinished symphony that you wanted me to complete- the one that I was working on up until my late ex-parents and siblings died that day- is still haunting me and teasing me to complete. I do have a few ideas on hand, but I can't go back to it right now. Not when things are already complicated with the Ryan/Theo/Jillian storyline of my life."

"But if you don't allow yourself to even try to work on it, then you won't have any peace," Mrs. Bermudez-Estrada pointed out. "Don't you at least owe yourself to have some sort of closure?"

I sighed heavily, stopping from my version on Let You Down by NF. "I dunno, ma'am," I replied. "If I do, it'll be like when Lot's wife looked back at the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah and she got turned to a pillar of salt for it. I might look back on some painful memories and end up being burned by it."

"Demario," she said sadly. "I'm sorry. I didn't know that-"

"It's okay, ma'am," I interrupted gently, giving her a tired grin. "For what it's worth, maybe I should finish it or just leave things be. It'll be my decision before the first concert. But whatever I decide, it'll be mine to make alone. I'll give it some thought"

She nodded. "That's all I ask," she replied. "But in my book, you have a masterpiece on your hands. Don't let it go unsung just because of bad memories. Let the music in you fly free."

And that, ladies and germs, would be easier said than done.

************

"I'm home," I hollered after the rest of the school day breezed by, my body aching from a intense swim practice followed by weight training with Oliver and some of the male swimmers and divers. "Anyone here?"

"Joel and I are in the den, Demario," I heard Taylor's domineering voice from the destination in question. "Come in here, there's another guest that wants to see you."

"I'm coming." Placing my backpack in the hallway closet, I made a beeline for the den where my foster dads were and felt my blood running cold upon the sight of a pregnant Denise Iverson with her husband Trey, both of them dressed comfortably as the former sported a nice set of braids- a far cry from her usual perm hairstyle. "Why are they here?" I said lowly, eyes narrowing in silts.

"Demario, your aunt and uncle stopped by to see you, though Taylor and I insisted that they leave and never come back," Joel replied tersely, shooting his own glare at a now-cowed Uncle Trey. "They said that they wanted to see you and wanted to make things right."

"Well, I don't want to see them since they sided with my late mother and joined everyone else in disowning me just because they wanted to start fresh with a newborn," I spat angrily. "So they can kindly take their leave."

"Demario, wait," Mrs. Iverson (I wasn't going to call her Aunt Denise at this point) pleaded. "All Trey and I want is to talk and tell you why-"

"You already made your statement known," I interrupted rudely, pointing to her pregnant belly. "You have your little one ready to be born and you want nothing to do with me just like everyone else didn't."

"But it's because of your mother that made us say that," Mr. Iverson (not Uncle Trey) rebutted. He sighed heavily. "Look, Demario. You have every reason to hate me and your aunt for abandoning you when you needed someone to love you for who you are. It pained me and Denise for letting your mother treat you like garbage and some sort of slave. You did everything right, yet everyone saw you as some sort of chew toy. When my own mother heard about this, she threatened me and Denise with being cut out of her will if we didn't start treating you right. But your mother knew that I wasn't free from parole yet before all of this and would threaten me to place me back in jail on some phony charges if Denise and I didn't do what she wanted. So my side of the family disowned me as your auntie and I went along with the ride.

"It pained us, Demario, to know that you were suffering. Your former landlord and his family knew of it as did everyone in the apartment complex- all of them unable to help you out even further to avoid your mother's wrath and Carl's theats of false charges if they dared to step in any further. And when your mother and her family died that day, we didn't even bother with taking some of that weight off your shoulders," Mr. Iverson went on. "We left you alone all up to when you got disowned and left without a home or a dime in your name. But when we learned that you almost killed yourself, Denise and I knew that enough was enough. So after I finished parole and all, Denise and I immediately cut ties from the rest and vowed to make things right. Although it's too late for us to have any chance of adopting you thanks to your late momma, Denise and I want to at least apologize for what's been said and done for the past years."

Mrs. Iverson- Aunt Denise- nodded tearfully. "Demario, we really are sorry," she said morosely. "If I could turn back time, I'd gladly fight your mother and everyone else tooth and nail and treat you like you should've been treated in the past. You're a good soul who had a rough hand in life. Can you ever give me another chance...as a possible friend and mentor?"

I took a deep breath, knowing that it was my decision to make. "Thank y'all for coming by," I began. "At least y'all were a bit apologetic that day, unlike everyone else was. I can understand your situation alongside everyone else's from the Fairlake Arms complex. Mom and everyone else did them dirty, but not as much as they did to me. I may not forget that day of rejection, but I can at least forgive you two. And I hope you guys can be better parents to your kid than mine were to me."

"We have two boys coming into the world," Uncle Trey replied. "Both twins. And yes, we will treat both of them equally."

"Thank you, Demario," Aunt Denise said, letting a few tears fall from her face. "And I need to tell you why your late mother hated you."

That caught my attention as did those of my foster dads and my newly-arrived foster brothers alongside Holy and her mom and aunt. "What is it?" I asked, bracing myself for the truth."

I watched Aunt Denise pull out a letter that was addressed to her. "I'll only tell you the important stuff that you need to know," she said tiredly. "And for what it's worth, I still hate her for this. Demario, your sister told me that in the event that she, your father, and your brothers and sisters died before you; you're to know the reason why everyone else wished you nothing but the worst. Before you were born, she had an affair with someone while she and your father were separated. By then, Demarcus and DeSean were two years old and you weren't born yet. And by the time you finally arrived, your father knew that the paternity needed to be tested since he thought that you didn't look anything like him. A test was run. And the results back with the result that would have everyone hating you."

"What was it?" I breathed, not liking how this was about to play out.

Aunt Denise sobbed, her husband rubbing her back. "Demario...I'm so sorry, but you were a love child," she said through her tears. "You weren't really a Bader like your brothers and sisters were. Your father isn't your birth father."

"WHAT?!" everyone else exclaimed.

"Oh, my goodness!" Holly breathed, covering her mouth.

"What the actual fuck?!" Javi spat angrily.

All I could do was nod my head. At least I knew the truth why birth family treated me like I was trash. I was born out of an affair.

I was a hated love child. Well, damn.

Indeed, Demario. "Well, damn" indeed.

So, what are your thoughts on this jaw-dropping revelation about Demario's paternity woes- him being a love child and all? I had this planned for a while when I was working on the storyline while writing the first five chapters, so I needed to have this revelation in here.

As for Denise and Trey, it looks as if there's progress made in establishing a tentative bond; but after this revelation, we can't say for sure how things will change. We'll see if their mea culpa holds weight in the chapters to come.

Anyway, Demario talks about this revelation at group therapy before he gets some tough-love advice from one landlord who also learns what happened. And that, dear friends, is coming up in the next chapter, so don't go away!

Songs: "Let You Down" by NF (see below) and "Back to Black" by Amy Winehouse (see above). Dedication: SkeneKidz.

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And as promised, here's "Let You Down" by NF