"No effin' way," were the first words that left the mouths out of everyone during group therapy (guest starring Jose, Gianna, and even Dr. Nguyen himself) after I recapped to everyone what had happened since the night of the party with Ryan and Oliver, Artem returning to PGHS, and my encounter with Aunt Denise and her husband. Not only that, I decided that it was time to reveal to everyone about me being a product of my mother's love affairs and why it was the real reason why my birth family hated me and wished me dead for almost all of my life. Needless to say, everyone was gagging over me being a love child over everything else in my soap-opera life.

"I can't believe that your mom hated you because she was having an affair with an unknown guy," Callie breathed. "That's just...wow."

"This is some fucked-up shit," Ja'Marcus commented, sipping on his cup of soda. "If that happened to me, my granddad would've definitely beat the shit out of my momma, if not have her disowned."

"Did your aunt give you any more details about your mom's affairs?" Khadijah wanted to know.

I sighed heavily, nodding slowly. "I reread my mother's final letter to Aunt Denise that night after I came out of that shock," I replied. "For what I know, Mom and Dad were having some financial problems and they were needing to keep away from each other. Surprisingly enough, they were separated as often as they had multiple lovers on the side with both of them in open relationships."

"Ay, Dios mio," Ciara gasped, crossing herself.

I nodded. "Yeah, tell me about it. Anyway, during the separation period when they were fighting, my brothers were two years old before I was born. At one point, Mom was having her recurrent affairs with a guy whom she liked yet was in the closet during the late 90s or whatever. Despite Grandma Lottie's severe protests, Mom kept sleeping around with this mystery guy until she decided to get back with her husband. But by then, she was pregnant with me. Mom wanted an abortion because Dad didn't want a child that wasn't his, but Grandma Lottie wasn't having it, threatening to finally disown her oldest daughter if she did. So Mom stuck it out and made everyone turn against me- her siblings and in-laws and all her loyal friends- while making sure that I wasn't to live a charmed life at all. Mom wrote that she would make sure that I would not be acknowledged as a real member of the Bader-Simmons-Ingram family name at all costs.  She even planned to have Uncle Carl arrange a hitman when I turned 18. But that part went unfulfilled when things went to shit and decided that leaving me on the streets was a better alternative."

"Right, as if being orphaned and homeless beats paying somebody to have you killed," Callie said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "What the hell, Demario?"

"I'm a little miffed at this revelation myself," Mitch commented, his eyes alongside those of his brother's narrowing in silts. "Demario, how are you really holding up after learning about all of this?"

I looked into the older man's eyes. "Honestly...I don't know how to exactly feel," I replied. "Am I bitter that everything that I hoped to gain by doing right was all for nothing? Yeah. Am I tired of all the secrets and lies? No question. I'm all these emotions and so much more that it's not even funny anymore. I already have to deal with Ryan's lovey-dovey wooing and Theo being out for my demise. Now this just happened to fall on my lap. I'm a love child who was hated for being one all around. How else am I supposed to feel?"

Like you ain't worth shit, the nagging voice of my mother returning in her venomous glory echoing in my mind. I warned you that this day would come and now you're going to see why you're not wanted at all. You despise me.

"Demario?"

I snapped out of her words, staring into the concerned stares of everyone in the room. "Yeah?" I said, my voice croaking a bit.

"Are you okay?" Elsa asked me, they handing me some tissues.

"Why?"

"You're crying," Khadijah replied gently.

I touched my face, my hands gliding over my now-wet cheeks. "So I am," I replied.

What a fucking bitch, Mom spat in my head. Crybaby punk-ass mothafucka! Why won't you just die already so I can meet you in hell where you belong?

Jose came to my side, leading me to my chair before facing me. "Is your mother back in your head?" he asked me.

I nodded twice as the tears continued to fall. "She's not going to stop haunting me, isn't she?" I managed to stammer out. "She won't quit until I grant her wish of killing myself."

"Shit, this is bad," Gianna said, eyes widening.

I felt the walls closing in around me as a few loving arms wrapped around me in a giant hug.

God don't like wimps and he hates posers. That's why he created you worthless ass," Mom mocked viciously. End this, Demario. If you want any bit of relief, end your fucking life right now or whenever you get back to those faggots' house!  To be real, you should've died instead of me, my husband, and my other precious children. The world would be a better place without you in it! End it, Demario! End it! End it! END IT!!!!!

"STOP IT!!!!" I finally bellowed angrily, wanting to shut out my mother's mocking laughs.

The next thing I remembered was collapsing into a ball of tears, finally sobbing heavily while everyone else didn't know what to do next.

"Setback...family did him dirty..."

"Someone needs...his momma and burn her to a crisp..."

"Fucking hell...low, even for Theo's standards."

Dear God, why me?

**************

Fifteen minutes later, I was all cried out and sitting in front of the stern-faced Mr. Tucker, his wife and daughters silently standing behind him while everyone else hung back. "I'm sorry that you had to hear about this," I said lowly. "I assume that you know about-"

"Dr. Anthony and his brother told me about your family and you being a love child scorned for no reason," the older man cut me off gruffly, his eyes narrowed in silts. "Your family...Lord Jesus, if that witch of a woman was alive right now, I'd take a stick and beat her and her folks for treating you like that just because she wanted to sleep around. Her husband's no prize, either, with his office mistresses and all that. It's little wonder that your sisters and brothers were like their parents. But you, Demario? You have no reason to let the past crash over you like that at all."

"But Mr. Tucker-" I began.

"No, Demario, you listen," Mr. Tucker barked. "That spawn of hellions whom you tried to please with your good deeds and kindness didn't deserve any of that despite you telling yourself that you could be what they wanted. They nearly took away all of your joy and livelihood and everyone back at that complex- my family and myself included- could only do so much without that whore threatening to shut the apartment down through her brother's dirty contacts. Everyone saw you fighting the pain and knew that you deserved better. When I look at you, I see someone with a beautiful and gifted mind who could go places and be somebody if it weren't for a family of snakes and liars. Other than your late grandparents- may God rest their souls- and your one aunt who regretted her choice to join the hate parade out of duress, the Ingrams are nothing but bad seeds who needs to be horsewhipped, boiled in oil, and cast into the lake of fire for their sins.

"Demario, I know that woman's still haunting and taunting your mind from the grave where she's rotting right now. And I know that the plans of suicide are still hanging around. But I'll be damned if I let you fall back into a pity party all because those people disowning you because you're not their kin," Mr. Tucker continued to rant, eyes light in divine anger. "I'm not going to stick around and let you be sorry for yourself. And if you even think like that at all or try anything reckless like that day, I'll beat your behind until you decide to fight back."

Another fresh set of tears came over me as the older man's eyes softened. "Oh, God," I moaned. "I'm trying so hard to fight back and not let my mother try and rule my mind, but she's not relenting."

"Then you fight back until that bitch is gone," Zoe shot back fiercely. "And just because you weren't kin to that momma and her brood, doesn't mean that you don't have family left. It's not defined by blood ties alone. My daddy and momma are like your own fairy god-family straight out of the hood and we'd die for your behind. Don't you remember us taking care of you when Vivian allowed you to stay at your house?"

I nodded tearfully. "Y'all made sure that I got decent clothes and food while letting me rest from my endless lists of chores," I replied.

"Exactly," Gianna piped up. "The Tuckers were the ones who found you when you were close to death that fateful day. That makes you a part of their family. And don't forget about the Lomax clan who took you into their home and made you their family, which makes you my family since Antonio and Evan are my brothers. So you can say that you're an honorary Beckham for life."

"Same thing for me since Javi's my brother," Jose said firmly, crossing his arms. "You're a Cerutini as long as I'm around."

"And you're a Nguyen with me and my brother," my sainted therapist added as he and Mitch came to join me alongside the Tuckers. "Don't you see, Demario? Your so-called birth family might've given you the axe, but their loss is our win because we see you as part of our families. Gianna's right. Family is never defined by blood ties."

All I can do is nod. I never felt so tired.

Mr. Tucker gave me a small sad smile. "Boy, what you need right now is some rest like Elijah when he was in the wilderness and listening for the still, small voice," he said. "But for real, Demario. Don't let the ghost of your mother continue to dictate your future."

This isn't over," I heard her hiss in my mind. These folks say that they care for you and all that, but I'm still going to make sure that you're not going to have it easy. Unless you-

Enough was enough. I abruptly stood out of my chair and looked at the ceiling. "Mom, I'm saying this right now," I said, my spirit finally weary of her games. "Shut the fuck up and get the hell out of my life right now!"

What did you just say to me?

"You heard me, you insufferable bitch! I hate you! I fucking hate you for making me feel like I'm worthless or I should be put down like a rabid dog! If anyone needed to be put down, then it should've been you, Vivian Ingram-Bader! I fucking hate you so much that it's not even funny! You wished that thunder and lightning would kill me?! No, woman! I wished that you would go back to hell and rot away for all I care! And I mean it, Mommy Dearest! I fucking wish that you stay in hell where you fucking belong and leave me the fuck alone, you fucking cunt from hell! You had enough time on Earth to treat me like garbage with everyone else and had everyone join in on your fun, but it ends NOW!"

Demario, Mom said in a furious growl. You betta watch your tone on how you talk to me.

"Oh, you don't like how I TALK to you, even after all the time you talked down to me all these years?" I continued to rant to the sky as everyone watched in awe. "I spent most of my goddamned life being treated like a dog by you and you still demand my respect even now?! Well guess what? You're dead and I'm not! And now I get to finally say what I need to say! You, Vivian Emmeline Ingram-Bader, are the worst fucking mother of the goddamned millenia and Joan Crawford was scary enough to her adoptive kid! I hope you fucking rot in hell where you and your husband and your precious children belong! I gave you all that you demanded and you repaid it with one too many slaps to the face! Well, you had your chance to be a good mom and you blew it! For the first time in my life, I can finally breathe and be who I am without being judged by you! And to finally sum it all up, I only have one thing to say with two simple words: FUCK YOU!"

Gasps were heard from all around.

"Damn!" Callie breathed. "Demario's finally unleashing it all."

Demario Bader, have you lost your mind?!! Mom screamed in my head with a blazing fury. You cannot talk to me like that at fucking all! I am your mother and I say that you aint worth shit and you will never, EVER be anything!

"FUCK YOU!" I screamed back, spitting on the ceiling with ease. "Fuck you, fuck your derogative mind, and fuck you haunting me even now! Fuck Dad, DeSean, Demarcus, Shauntay, and Camille. Fuck the dirty cop of an uncle and his wife and daughters- all of them rotten to the core. Fuck Dad's spoiled-rotten sisters and spiteful parents. Fuck all the great-aunts and great-uncles who didn't bother being generous to me when they were to your hoodrats. Fuck them all outside of Aunt Denise and Uncle Trey when all they wanted was a fresh start in life. I hate you! I hate you! I HATE YOU!!! GO TO HELL, YOU FUCKING WHORE! I HATE YOU, HATE YOU, HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!"

I let out a guttral scream that made everyone cover their ears as the conference room windows shattered and my voice emanated through the halls of the Lutheran church.

And just like that, even as I finally collapsed to the floor on my knees before I felt strong arms lift me up, I was finally free from the pain.

You hate me? I heard Mom say softly. You really hate me? Fine, Demario. I only treated you like this so you can finally toughen up. I guess I was right when I thought that it was a waste of time. Do whatever you want, Demario. I'm out of your life...forever. And I mean it.

Then go, Mom. You had your chance of being my mother. And you failed.

My mind was in a blissful wave of ignorance as I let Mr. Tucker carry me in his arms and place me in his car before driving me back to my home where the Lomax family were waiting for me. I vaguely remembered being coaxed into eating some food before taking a long bubble bath, changing into some comfortable  clothes, and being lulled to sleep with Sam Smith softly playing through the stereo.

I...was finally floating on air.

This chapter...wow.

I should've broken this down in two parts because this came from a lot of self-hatred about myself and from me being bullied back in seventh grade. I just translated this from the memories and this was the result.

And damn it to hell when I say that this chapter was when Demario was OFFICIALLY free from his mother's grasp from the dead. But we'll hear from her one more time in this story.

Anyway, we'll check in with the others as they talk about what was said in this chapter alongside the topic of Demario's unfinished symphony. So stick around!

Dedication: PrettyInPunkBC (they still got spots available for those who want to to join, but it's for the grown and experienced only, so pay attention to the rules in their story. Check out their profile and tell them that Jay sent you). Song: "Love is a Losing Game" by Sam Smith.

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