Depression.

Depression was never really something I could overcome. I was fighting it quite alright but, overcoming it was as good as impossible. The fact I stayed alone, contributed greatly to it. It was like, every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was darkness and me being pulled into it. The bright colors of my room and in my room was supposed to keep me brightened and calm. But, they rather take me to a place of lonesomeness.

Jon came to my hostel once in a while but, he was the outing type, while I was more of an indoor person. We weren't the same in almost all. The days he didn't come, I spent thinking of my life and being sad. There were days I tried to encourage myself. Put on a movie I love, and supply myself with enough sweet things. But, it didn't take long before I start becoming conscious of my folds again and feeling the urge to go hide under something. I start comparing myself to the movies cast. Even their so-called fat people weren't even as big as I was. I would groan to myself a lot, until I gave up on the movie and cover myself with my duvet, trying to hide my displeasing body as I cried.

Days like that were one of my worse.