*Patrick's P. O. V.*

~8 months later~

I'm glad that side projects keep on coming my way and that they keep me and my head busy most of the times. For the past several months, I always want to do something and be busy doing work. I didn't want to sit in silence because I keep thinking about it....

...I keep thinking about her.

Her reaction when I said goodbye then was more than enough to make me instantly regret saying it. The guilt of closing out on her washed over me immediately because I know to myself that she was hopeful about us. She will be because I've shown her that I really wanted this relationship too, I really do, but my stupid self shut that thought down with one word.

It's like all stars were aligned for us, but I'm the oblivious one that was looking away and missing that once in a lifetime chance.

It's been eight months already yet the thought still constantly pops in my head. Y/N still pops in my head. I've experienced this kind of case before but I was quick to forget everything once the person was out of sight...but for Y/N, it seems like 'out of sight, out of mind' doesn't work. In fact, the more she's out of my sight, the more she's in my mind.

It drives me crazy because I didn't want to be this way. I chose to reject the chance and being like this is a direct blow to my stupid and selfish decision. I didn't expect that this is her effect on me, I was sure that I could just forget about this, but why am I so wrong? Many have came before her and, although not easy, I managed to move on within a couple of months....but this time? I think a couple of years of moving on is still not enough.

Frustrations and confusions came everytime I'm alone with myself, I don't know what to do but I also don't want to act on it. I already made my choice...I already closed the door to someone willing and happy to step in. I was a coward and now I have to live like this.

All I could do now is hope to all holy that I'll be able to move pass this sooner or later.

"She was right from the start. What we did will indeed backfire," I murmured to myself.

I'm taking a short break from creating another score for an animated film. I'm just sitting there at the recording room, staring down at the controls. This is how I usually spend silent times - my mind just drifting back to her.

The silence around me was broken when my Skype app made my phone ring. I immediately looked at my screen and my heart leaped to my throat when I saw the name.

Y/N.

She and I are still talking once in a while but the last time that I remember her calling me was 2 months ago. Our conversations were basically just small talks and weather checks, but I always loved hearing her voice and appreciate every second of the call.

I do miss her. We've spent two years doing things together and I'm still adjusting to the fact that we can't be like that anymore.

I quickly took my phone and answered the video call. I immediately saw Y/N on the other end and her familiar wide genuine smile greeted me.

"Hi, Stump," she greeted. Hering her voice makes my heart beat harder and faster now.

"Hey, Y/L/N. You look very excited. I mean you always do, but it's on a higher level of excitement today," I commented.

"You bet I am! Didn't you hear about the news already?! I'm actually more excited about you than I am excited about me," she said enthusiastically but I just stared at her in confusion, "Oh gosh, you still don't know? Well, just log in to your Twitter very quick, you'll figure it out," she added.

"Okay, please hold," I told her and she chuckled.

I opened my Twitter and the dominant words I saw on my feed was Mania, Fall Out Boy, Congratulations, Nomination, and Grammy Awards. I put all together and finally got the message.

"No way," I murmured to myself. I glimpsed at the corner of the screen where Y/N is and she was proudly smiling at me.

"I told you! I told you Mania is something so powerful! You kept doubting and saying it will go under the rug, but look! It got a nomination on Grammy Awards. You guys really did it!" she said excitedly, her wide smile not disappearing.

I'm still shocked with the news but I'm really happy about it. I didn't expect that album to have anything like this so this is overwhelming. Mania was such a different album from our past music, it was a mixture of new and old concepts. Having a grammy award nomination for that album is the last thing I expect to happen.

"Thanks, Y/N. I'm sorry for the lack of emotion, I'm just really overwhelmed," I said to her.

"I can't wait to see you there!" she said excitedly. I searched more and saw that her latest album was also nominated for the Electro Music category.

"Congratulations too, Y/N. This is like, what, your 3rd Grammy Nomination already? You're really doing so great," I told her.

"Oh shush, I called to compliment you and your album, don't turn this around." 

We continued our conversation as usual and I have to admit that I tried to make the call a little longer. I kept asking small questions and thankfully she doesn't seem to notice that I'm keeping her here.

Y/N is still that cheerful girl that I know from before. In fact, when you look at the way she still talks to me, it's like nothing hurtful happened between us. Maybe this is also one of the reason why I find it so hard to move past this.

"I guess I'll just see you at the Grammy's then?" she asked as we're about to end our call.

"Of course. Take care, Y/N. I'll see you then," I told her.

"Take care of yourself too, Patrick. Byieee," she waved and then our call ended. I stayed unmoving there, just staring at my now empty screen.

I really do regret being a coward back then.

*Y/N's P. O. V.*

🎶I wonder if your therapist know everything about me🎶

The music inside the car blared and I chuckled to myself when I heard the lyrics.

"Why yes, Patrick, she does know everything about you," I whispered to myself.

I guess what we did and what I let myself fall into really fucked me up that I ended up genuinely needing an emotional help. Days after we parted ways, I just find myself falling and falling apart. I think I became too attached to him that adjusting to the fact that he's not around anymore was so hard for me.

I was ashamed. I didn't even want to seem so desperate and clingy, but he affected me in such a way that I didn't expect. I tried to be strong, I tried to ignore and disregard it, and I chose not to be angry at anything...but my therapist said that those things are actually the reasons why I ended up needing help - I was keeping it all to myself.

She helped me get over this situation and I could say that I'm getting better. I focused most of my time on myself and career and soon enough, I was back on track. Although, there's still this feeling inside me, atleast I'm able to move on a little bit.

Seven months after that ordeal, my therapist suggested that I should be opening up again as that would ultimately help me forget all those sadness. She said that no one really moves on fully, not until the affection is pointed towards another person.

It's not cheating, it's not deceit, and it's not that you're using another person to move on. That's just the plain truth that you can't forget something until you're genuinely focused on something new and I agree with her.

I was getting better and better now that I did that. I've opened myself up again and found someone that will grow with me. Since then, I find it easier to approach things about Patrick again and everything seems to go back to normal. I wasn't acting like a ticking bomb anymore where I'm keeping everything in and with just one trigger I'll explode into a mess. I finally feel that I'm moving past this little by little.

Finally, after a long drive because of the traffic, we arrived at the Grammy Awards venue. The driver turned off the music inside the car before going out to open the door for me. There are already a lot of people outside and camera flashes are already blinding me. I took a deep breath and give out a smile before climbing down the car.

*2nd Person View*

The Grammy Awards commenced as you continue to be as welcome and cheerful as you can to everyone you meet. You always look forward to these kinds of events because it's an opportunity to meet your most favorite people. You've met a lot of people already and many have recognized you too. You also got a lot of compliments for your black to purple ombre long dress.

You greeted and thanked each of them that talks to you, but you still find yourself looking for a particular someone among the crowd. You know to yourself that you shouldn't, but you do actually miss the guy. It's been a while since you last saw each other and it should be good now since you know you can handle your emotions when you see him.

Patrick, on the other hand, was feeling overwhelmed at the venue. It's been a while since their band has gotten this kind of nomination. Also, this is the Grammys, there are so many artists here that are so young and more popular than them. He still couldn't believe that they got nominated and present there even after being together for like 16 years.

He tried his best to keep his chill, thanking that his best friends are there with him. It might be overwhelming, but he found himself enjoying too, but now, what's important to him is that he see you.

They're currently walking down the carpet, having short interviews and pictorials with the media around. As he and his bandmates were posing for some pictures, Patrick finally heard the voice he's been longing to hear.

"Patrick!" you called out to him when you finally saw him. Your smile is wide and you immediately ran to them, not even caring that you're wearing high heels. You saw Patrick looked at your direction and you immediately saw a different glow in his eyes. He welcomed you with a smile.

The moment you reached him, you hugged him tightly. You're happy that you finally saw him, but you're more proud at yourself for not breaking apart. Seeing him isn't just about seeing what ifs anymore. Yes, some are still there, but you could handle it better now.

Patrick hugged you back, instantly admitting to himself that he didn't want to ever let go, but he knows he had to. He already missed his perfect chance with you.

"I'm so so proud of you guys," you pulled back and talked to the whole band. Pete, Andy, and Joe greeted and congratulated you too, "And you all look so good tonight!" you added.

"You look so good too, Y/N. Your dress suits you very much," Pete said.

"Aawww, thanks! Incase you haven't noticed, it's Mania-inspired," you told them.

You stayed there for a while and talked to them for quite a while. Pete, Andy, and Joe were enthusiastic to speak with you while you notice that Patrick was just listening, looking, and smiling at you.

Moments past and Pete, Joe, and Andy excused themselves, leaving you and Patrick there.

Patrick pushed himself to stay calm and collect his thoughts. He wanted to talk to you and wanted to correct that something that he did wrong before. After trying so hard to stay calm, he finally was able to ask you.

"Are you attending the after party?" he asked all of a sudden.

"Nah, you know I'm not a fan of that and besides, I actually have a da---

"Well, can I ask you tonight then?" Patrick didn't waste anytime to drop the question. He didn't even manage to hear your last words.

It's obvious he was nervous and that he wanted to say something, you could clearly see it. The question made you look at him, fully realizing what this could be.

Then there it is again.

There's a distinct pain in your heart once more.

Why?

Why now?

Now that you're getting better, now that youre committed to somebody already.

Why is he like this?

Those were the questions bombarding your mind.

You were okay already, you were ready for this meet up, but here he is again, doing something unexpected.

You try not to think too much and just took a deep shaky breath.

You finally looked at him then smiled at him in defeat. A genuine smile yet a very sad one too.

"I'm sorry, Patrick, I already have a date with my boyfriend," you answered truthfully.

Patrick looked at you in shock before he steadied himself again. He gave you a quick smile.

"Oh. Oh, I'm sorry, I should have asked first," he said while chuckling but all that sounded forced.

"Well, we can still hangout some other time. We could still work on some other projects. You know I'm only one call away," you told him, your cheerful vibe obviously went down, but you're still smiling a little.

"Yeah. Of course. You know I'm also one call away too," he said, "Well, uh, I better go catch up with the others. It's nice seeing you again, Y/N," Patrick added, staring directly at you.

"You too, 'Trick. See you around," you waved him a goodbye before turning and walking away - you, being the one that breaks the eye contact.

As you walk away, the same question pops in your head again:

Why now?

A/N: 🙃🙃🙃
Timeline of this imagine is a mess,(release of Mania, the grammy nomination, etc.,) but don't think too much about it. Lol. It's just for the sake of the story.
Thanks for reading, lovelies!

Anyways, I want to share that I just got a copy of Mania, literally just 3 days ago. (I know it's not a big deal to most of you, but Fall Out Boy albums are literally impossible to find here in our country, so me being able to find one is so damn lucky)

Lol. Here is me with this awesome album 😁