Imagine #70: Drop A Heart...Break A Name (One-shot)

{Trigger Warning} 

(Gonna do a first person view imagine for this one, enjoy! and maybe feels worthy?)

Y/N's P.O.V.

"Patrick! I'm so freaking glad that your mom didn't kill you!" I greeted my best friend with a hug when he finally show himself at the university.

"Yeah, but my dad almost did" he joked then we both laughed.

I'm so glad he finally told his parents about his plans...plans of dropping out of the university to go catch his wildest dream to be in a band that will be phenomenal worldwide. I'm actually proud at him already, making a big decision at this part of our lives already makes me amazed with him. We're only nineteen and he's here, making a life changing decision.

"You know, wherever you go from here, I'll always support you." I told him sincerely while staring at him. "Even if you're leaving me in this university all by myself." I added then pouted.

"Aaaww, please don't mention that anymore, Y/N. I'm already drowning in guilt." I know he really meant what he said, I can even see the sadness in his eyes.

I and Patrick are really inseparable since kindergarten and this will really the first time we'll part ways, but I know sooner or later we'll find each other again.

"But really! It's just three more years, Y/N and you're doing so good in your studies. I tell you, you will top that board examination, you will be a great freaking travelling doctor! And I know by then we're already signed up, going to different countries every other night and I swear I'll bring you with me so you can fulfil your dreams too...to help every patient that needs your help worldwide." Patrick explained to me and I can see the excitement in his eyes which is very contagious.

"That sounds like a good plan, Stump. I can't wait to reach that!" I told him enthusiastically and we both laughed there. "So, you'll already be leaving tomorrow, right?" I asked, this is already making me teary eyed.

"Yeah, we'll try our luck in L.A. Joe said he has some friends there that might help us. But I promise, I'll always keep in touch with you." Patrick said, then holding my hand.

I felt my face blushed, I and Patrick have a really intimate relationship now but it's never that official since we're thinking that we shouldn't hurry things up. But really, there's a unspoken pact between us which everyone can see...we're just really incomplete without the other.

"Of course, I'll go find you and kill you if you don't!" I teased him and then smiled. Patrick was just staring at me, then suddenly, he put the back of my hands against his lips and kissed it. "P-Patrick."

Patrick suddenly searched his pockets with his other hands while having a genuine smile. After a few seconds, he just stared at me again.

"Here." He said while slowly putting on a silver ring on my ring finger. The design of the ring was a tiara, it was just simple yet so beautiful. "A promise ring from me to you, my princess. Hold on to that and I swear, we'll reach our dreams together." He said with his very gentle voice and I swear that could be my lullaby every night.

I smiled, not realizing that I'm already shedding some tears in there too. I giggled then brushed them off.

"Come on, I said I wouldn't cry, but you're making me." I said while giggling and brushing off the tears. "Thank you, Patrick and I'll be holding onto that promise and thus, I will be closing the deal with this..." I said then slowly leaned closer to his face until I came to peck his lips for a moment.

Patrick blushed like a tomato in front of me and he chuckled. We just stayed silent and hugged each other after that, it was a bitter-sweet moment for me, but I know this isn't the end...we'll still see each other again soon.

"Oh, and here, Patrick." I brought out my gift for him from inside my bag. I put it over his head and I knew it suits him pretty well. "A fedora hat for you! Always wear that, I put on a lucky charm spell there."

"Aww, thanks, Y/N." he said, already enjoying the hat.

"Go own the stage, Mr. Patrick Stump." I told him.

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*1 and a half year later*

It's been one and a half-year since Patrick left...and since then everything became dull.

It wasn't his fault and it wasn't mine too. After he left I just kept leaving my live to the fullest, I have many friends, I enjoy my time with them, I excel in the university, and Patrick always calls me...everything was going so well...it's just that life's too cruel and it just wants to fuck with the people who just want to enjoy it and help others see the good in it – like me.

Everything just came crashing down a month ago when I started to feel some changes in my body. I always have a fever every night, there were swollen areas around my neck and arms, my nose often bleeds now and I've lost a lot of weight recently. My mom decided to go with me to the doctor – the one I'm going to be like in a few years ­– and check what's happening with me and I swear that's when I found out why people are scared of doctors.

"Mrs and Ms Y/Last/N, I-I'm very sorry but I have some bad news for you." The doctor said while holding my papers in there.

I'm already twisting the promise ring that Patrick gave to me, I always do that when I'm tensed, I just feel like whenever I'm doing this, I can feel Patrick's calming presence.

"W-what is it, doc?" I really tried to be enthusiastic, but that will go away sooner than I thought.

"I-I'm so sorry to tell you, but you have a stage three leukaemia, Y/N." the doctor said heavily and I swear right that moment, my ring slipped out of my finger.

"No..." I heard my mom whimpered and I just stared in there...into the abyss...already asking anyone, everyone, or any entity why...

"I'm really sorry but all of the results points to that disease. We can...we can work on all of the medications right now, b-but so far.

"There's...no cure." I weakly said as I got hold of my ring again...weakly holding on to it on my hands. "How...H-how long?" I tried to be brave and asked the doctor.

"With the right medications, one and a half year...I'm very sorry." He said.

I hugged my mom who's crying in there already...I wanted to cry too, I'm scared, I don't want to accept this, it's so unfair.

"Mom, it's going to be okay...I'll make every minute worth it from now on...until I reach that time." I told her bravely. I can't believe I'm this calm right now.

I just have to survive and luckily...I have enough time to see him again since Patrick said he'll come back here after another one and a half year.

------------------

*Five months later*

Unfair...unfair...it's too cruel...what did I do wrong?

It's too painful...not what I'm physically feeling, but what I'm physically seeing. I'm already seeing my soul getting sucked away and it's just been two months...FIVE MONTHS out of one and a half year, I don't even know if I can make it through that.

I'm thin! My hair is falling down! I'm getting weaker each day! I couldn't even walk! I hate seeing my parents pitying me, working harder to make me feel okay, to make me feel they are getting brave for me. I hate this...I hate this all!!

I stopped attending the university, I'm not leaving my room anymore. I just go out every time we go to the hospital. I hate always hate the therapy, I feel it's sucking the life out of me more. I hate the shots they give me, I lost my appetite, heck, I couldn't even eat properly right now.

With all these I just suddenly become a fucking useless ragdoll...with all my dreams and hopes for the future thrown away...JUST.LIKE.THAT. I hate it, and every time I remember Patrick I just want to break down. I didn't tell him, I know what I'm doing is bad, but then I'll ruin him if I did tell him. I just need him to keep reaching his dreams.

I'm currently staring at myself on a mirror inside my room and god I look so awful. I can even be a zombie in here. I'm so thin, I'm almost bald, I look weak. That once happy girl full with life...VANISHED completely with this sick disease.

"What did I do to deserve this?" I feel so frustrated right now that I'm already crying again. "I never meant to harm anyone, I never did anything wrong?! Why can't I just enjoy my life?!" I said...again and again...screaming to someone I don't even know who!

I'm so confused, I hate this...I HATE THIS ALL! I just broke down there, breaking down the things around my room too. It's just so unfair!

"I hate this! IT's unfair! What the fuck did I do wrong?!" I cried and screamed and break things! "I still want to live...more...more than a year. I want to be a doctor! I want to reach my dreams. I want to make my parents proud! I want...I want to stay with Patrick!!!" I screamed. "Why is that too much too ask? Why are you so cruel to me? Why? Just why and what did I do to deserve this? I can't!!" I continued...stopping at my desk while staring at a picture of me and Patrick. "Looks like I'm really falling down...in a lot of earlier round, Patrick." I murmured and sobbed in there.

Soon my mom came and the sobs became louder...I just...I just can't hold it any longer.

--------

'I can't wait to see you again, princess. I'm going to arrive there tomorrow! I'm really excited to see you.'

I read that text over and over again on my death bed. Yep, I'm already confined in a hospital as my body slowly shuts down. I'm on my deadline already and I just kept on fighting the pain everyday just to see him again...but now I'm having second thoughts.

"That's good news dear, finally, he'll come back." My mom said but there's worry in her eyes.

"Am I too cruel? For not telling him that I'm going?" I asked weakly and she just gave me a sad smile.

"That's up to you to answer, dear...but Patrick, loves you. I can see it, he's hoping to see the girl who he left years ago..." she explained and my tears began to fall again.

I'm honestly having a lot of difficulty in breathing right now...

"I love him...I love him so much too and you...and dad...and everything." I cried again..."Mom, I'm scared, I don't want to go yet...I want to be okay, I want to see him and be okay again." I murmured, I hate this...I'm making my mom cry again.

"W-we all love you too, honey...that's why, that's why we don't want you to suffer anymore." she said while she cried.

My mom hugged me as I become emotional and emotional in there. I couldn't help it...I can already feel that I'm getting eaten by the light.

"I'm so sorry for all the burden mom." I told her.

"Oh baby, you don't have to be...

"I have a letter for Patrick too, just give it to him and say that I'm very sorry." I said...her already brushing my head while preventing to sob hard.

"I...I love you all." I murmured and with that the light finally reached me and finally...peace.

***********

Patrick's P.O.V.

For the whole drive towards her house, I've been this nervous. I have no idea why, but its been a while since I've felt this...Y/N don't even talk to me on Skype anymore for the last past months too, but at least now all my worry will be gone.

It's very early in the morning, I just couldn't wait to see her and surprise her. I just went straight to their house and I was shocked to see that there's a lot of lights outside...and flowers too. I parked my car outside and slowly got off, my heart pumping fast.

I walked slowly towards the front door...seeing all the flowers...funeral flowers in there and finally I reach the door and there a sign in there.

"You will be truly missed, Y/N." I read and I swear my stomach almost turned upside down.

I hurried...hurried inside like a mad man...wishing that all of this is just a sick joke, but no. There's a coffin at the end of the hall and only her family was in there. I pushed myself to walk...already feeling all the tears coming down from my eyes.

"Why?...Why?" I murmured and I just paled out in there.

"Oh, Patrick...I-I'm really sorry." She hurried towards me as she hugged me.

I stayed limp there, looking at the coffin. I don't want to reach it and see who's inside...but I had too for I think she's the girl I'm dying to be with right now.

I continued to walk and finally I saw her...and on my dread she was really inside the coffin.

"Why?! Y/N please come back. Why are you unfair?! Why did you leave me behind?! What the hell, Y/N! You promised we'll be together! You promised we'll see each other again, but not like this...not like this!!" I cried in there and I don't even know if my words are clear.

I'm sobbing too hard...this girl right here...I can't even imagine her going like this.

"Why didn't you tell me anything! Why do you have to be so selfish!! I could have gone back to be with you, God, my poor princess...I could have just stayed with you." I murmured and I swear I'm wanting her to answer me...

"You said we're going to reach our dreams...TOGETHER...why did you have to leave me like this?" I weakly asked again and again and again.

Wanting just a single more minute...a little more time...I want her back...I NEED her back. I hate this, why does it have to be like this?!

I have no idea how long I stood there but I just got back to my senses when her mom tapped me.

"She always talks about you...saying that she's very proud to where you've come since the day you left the university." She started.

"She's the kind of girl who would be proud to anything I do." I said with a sad smile.

"She loves you...so much Patrick and that ring you gave her gives her every kind of strength she needs." She said and my tears keeps flowing again. "She left this for you." She added, handing me a piece of paper. "Just keep reaching your dreams, that's really what she would want you to do."

I smiled at her and pushed myself to sit down and look at the paper. I came back here to see here...not see a fucking coffin with her corpse and have this piece of paper on my hands, but fuck life...because it just keeps on fucking with us in the cruellest ways.

I unfolder the paper and saw her beautiful penmanship again, I smiled with what I saw as I see many emojis doodled. I took a deep breath and read the letter.

'Dear, Patrick. Yeah, I know...I'm a awful person for doing this to you, but listen up I have reasons! First, I didn't tell you because I don't want you to worry which is...Second, I don't want you to ruin your dreams for me. I knew you just got signed and things have been busy for you, I don't want you to ditch all that for someone who's about to die anyway. :). Don't worry though, it's all good! I won't haunt you or anything, besides, it's enough for me to hear your voice every night. Thanks for the effort too for calling me every single night. :) Patrick, you've always been my strength and weakness and I want you to know that that stayed until in the end. You kept me going even if you're not with me, but really, I'm very sorry for what I did to you...leaving off without even warning you. I know I'm horrible, but please understand I did it for you...I love you, Trick...so...SO much I can't even explain it. If I only have a chance to fulfil my promises to you, I would, but I guess not. Life is too cruel for me and I hope it's not for you.

So yeah. Maybe this is it, again, I love you so much and thank you for everything you've done for me, Stump. I'll just be waiting for you on the other side. Go follow your dreams, Stump :*

P.S. Promise me to keep on living and search for another girl...that you'll love the way OR more than you love me. PROMISE me, Trick." I read as I smile sadly.

I can even hear her voice saying this for me...this girl, god...I love her. It's just too cruel I can't have her.

"I promise, Y/N and I promise I'm going to fulfil it...someday." I murmured.

Now, I just have to face the fact that if you love someone...let them go.

-----------------

*10 years later*

Looks like this will be the day I'll fulfil my promise to her.

"Find a girl that I will love the way or more than I loved her." I reminisced the promise she made me do while I look at the baby I was holding.

No, it wasn't my baby and no I didn't steal it from anyone...this baby, I found her abandoned inside a church. She's a baby girl and the moment I picked her up she laughed cutely at me and god her smile looks so much like hers...

I took the baby and first alerted the police, but so far no one has come over to claim the baby...maybe they really did left her behind. I immediately organized all my papers to officially take care of the baby from now on and in no time, I was legally her dad.

It's so amazing how the baby was so comfortable with me...a perfect stranger...but maybe she may really be destined with me. I looked at her and she gave me a smile again.

"What could be the perfect name for you, baby girl?" I playfully asked her as she giggled. "Y/N" I murmured and with that she giggled more. "You like that name, huh? Okay, from now on you'll be Y/N Stumph." I said then kissed her on the forehead.

I rocked the back gently as she fell asleep in my arms. I smiled at myself when she totally slumbered.

"I fulfilled my promise, princess. I found a girl that I will surely love the same way I have loved you." I said with a satisfied smile.

{I cri evrytiem. THANKS FOR READING!}