Chapter 23

It was just past eight, and Josh Dun was feeling young and reckless. He found me one night in the library, and immediately struck up a conversation. "Hello Patrick," he said.

"Hi Josh," I said, barely looking up from my Defence Against The Dark Arts textbook. "What's up?"

"We need the Marauder's Map again," Josh said.

"Why?" I asked.

"We're going to spy on Professor Howell and Professor Lester and confirm once and for all that Phan is real!" Josh exclaimed. "We need the map to ensure that we find the Defence Against The Dark Arts office, because that's obviously where they would get their teen hearts beating faster."

"This is a massive invasion of their privacy, Josh," I said.

"Yeah, but it's Phan!" Josh argued.

"I'll give you the map, but I don't want to come," I said. "Why don't you get Brendon to help you? I'm sure he would be willing."

"I've been looking for him all day, and I haven't been able to find him," Josh said.

I took out the parchment and tapped my wand on it. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," I said. The parchment once again transformed into the Marauder's Map. "See? Brendon's in the courtyard."

"He's probably creating a cult or something," Josh said.

"Don't be silly," I said.

"You never know with Brendon," Josh said. "So will you help us?" I sighed and told him that I would come. "Brilliant!" he exclaimed. "Meet us in the Forbidden Forest at nine in the afternoon."

I studied until nine o'clock and then wandered into the forest. I made my way through the trees and vines before I eventually came upon a clearing, where the powder blue Ford Anglia was parked. Tyler, Josh, Joe, Andy, and Pete were already in the car. I sat next to Pete and he held my hand as Tyler hit the gas and the car began to soar into the air.

Josh navigated Tyler towards the window to the Defence Against The Dark Arts office. When we got there, Joe carefully opened up the window, and sure enough, Professor Howell and Professor Lester were both in there.

"I can't believe that Professor McGonagall is making us go all the way to America for some idiotic educational conference!" Professor Howell complained.

"It will be okay, Dan," Professor Lester said. "We might even have some fun."

"Fun?" Professor Howell said. "I'm missing my holidays for a meeting!"

"It is in Las Vegas," Professor Lester pointed out. "At the very least, we can go to a show or something."

"Holy smokes!" I exclaimed. "Professor Lester and Professor Howell are going to Vegas!"

"Do you know what this means?" Joe asked.

"Of course," Tyler said. "They'll get married in Vegas, and then we can say that we were right."

"Well, it is where villains spend the weekend," Andy said.

"Let's keep listening," I said. "Maybe they'll tell us more."

"Good point," Professor Howell said. "Why is it in Las Vegas again, and why couldn't the other professors go?"

"Professor McGonagall asked all of them before she asked us," Professor Lester said. "We were her last resort, and each school is required to send their headmaster and two teachers. Ilvermorny is hosting it, but they didn't want to hold the conference at their school, so they're holding it at the Sickle Snatcher Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas."

"Isn't the conference called the Wizards' International Educational Nasty but Essential Rally or something silly like that?" Professor Howell said.

"Yes, that is the full name of it," Professor Lester confirmed.

"Wait a second, if we abbreviate that, wouldn't it be W.I.E.N.E.R?" Pete said, laughing.

Everyone else burst out laughing as well, while I just looked around in confusion. "What's so funny?" I asked.

"Professor Lester and Professor Howell are going to WIENER!" Josh exclaimed, still laughing hysterically.

"I feel so immature for laughing at this, but it's still hilarious!" Andy said.

The laughter died down, and we went back to listening to the professors. "At the very least, we'll party at the end of the world," Professor Howell said.

"That's the one benefit to all of this," Professor Lester said. "Anyways, it's getting a little late. I should go back to check on the Hufflepuffs."

"I should check on the Gryffindors," Professor Howell said.

"See you tomorrow, Dan," Professor Lester said. He smiled briefly and then left the room, leaving Professor Howell alone in the office.

"They're totally in love," Joe stated.

"Definitely," Josh said. "By the way, we should get some more Butterbeer."

"Is Butterbeer vegan?" Andy asked.

"That's a good question," Josh said.

"I have no idea," I said.

"I probably shouldn't drink it until we find out," Andy said.

"That's tragic with a capital T," Pete said. "Butterbeer is great."

"I'm not eating anything with animal products in it, Josh," Andy said.

"Let's just go back to the castle," Tyler said. He drove the car back into the Forbidden Forest and parked it in the clearing. All six of us climbed out of the car and went back into the castle. When we reached the Great Hall, Andy went up to Ravenclaw Tower, Pete, Joe, Josh, and Tyler entered the Gryffindor Common Room, and I found my way into the Hufflepuff Common Room. I tapped on the barrel once again and crawled through the passageway into the room. Several of my classmates were relaxing in the common room, but I went straight to the dormitories. It had been a long day, and I really needed some rest. Nevertheless, I couldn't help but wonder what the professors were up to. I knew that the Flying Car Brigade would be keeping an eye on this supposed trip to Vegas, and I knew that I wanted to help them in any way I could.