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Chapter Twenty Nine

Just as quickly as his lips pressed against mine, they pulled away, startling both of us. I knew why I was surprised but was he startled because of the kiss or because it had been bad?

"Ivy, I-" he started, but his words were drowned out by my own thoughts.

The only person I had ever kissed was Kai and it was something we seldom did. Yet, I found my hands intertwining at the nape of his neck before pushing his mouth towards mine, both meeting once again.

His lips brushed against mine own, their softness equivalent to a flower's petals. I could feel him deepening the kiss, but my thoughts began betraying me and I found myself pulling away yet again. What I was doing was unfair.

"Ivy?" he asked, his voice holding a mixture of emotions, more than I was able to sort through.

I looked at him, smiling sadly. "I am sorry once again, päästja . I am confused about my feelings for both you and Kai. It is not fair for me to kiss either one of you when my heart seems torn in two directions. It is not fair for either one of you and is very inconsiderate," I said quietly, watching his expression grow more somber.

He pulled away after a moment, leaning back against his seat. "I would not be conveying the truth if I told you I was not disappointed, but I understand your reasoning, my dear. I promise to give you both time and space to sort through your feelings without any intervening," he explained, proving his words to be true when he moved to the other side of the carriage and sat there.

The ride back was quieter than I was used to, however, I decided it was for the best. Any talking we did would either be forced or go against what he had promised. Prince Gordon spent the time looking out the window while I did the same, my eyes straying to study him. However, he hid his emotions well, leaving nothing for me to examine.

When we arrived, he was quick to step out, offering me a hand. I smiled and thanked him. The moment I was out, he let go of my hand and instructed Martin to take me back to my room, saying parting words and then leaving. I could feel his actions cause my heart to tighten, but I said nothing as I knew what he was doing was only the correct thing.

Prince Gordon kept true to his word. I did not see him while I was preparing to leave for Kendall's land. His words were delivered through enforcers or Martin, but otherwise, it was as if he was somewhere else in the world. I found myself visiting Spirit to straighten out my emotions, but all he did was remind me of my päästja, both similar in their kindness and patience.

I also attempted cooking the roast, following Marlene's recipe just as it was written. However, despite given directions, I still managed to burn the roast. They had to evacuate the kitchen for a few hours while the smoke cleared and the cleaned the area. The next day, an enforcer knocked on my door delivering a roast with a note that said practice makes perfect. I smiled before deciding it was the second time that was a charm.

Perhaps Prince Gordon had blessed the roast before sending it my way, because this time I found myself dancing in the kitchen, celebrating my first successful dinner. I ate some, finding it to lack something, but was delighted it was edible. I left a note within Prince Gordon's office begging him to try it. The next morning I found a thank you note along with a string of words telling me he was proud of my success. I tucked his note into a drawer, promising to keep it forever.

I left for Kendall's land, escorted by Kendall himself. He told me Prince Gordon would not be able to take me and that it would be more beneficial if Kendall introduced me to his people instead of his brother. I was disheartened by Prince Gordon's absence but did not allow myself to dwell on it for too long. I would not ruin a chance for my species because of my heart.

I asked Kendall how his mate was doing to which he told me she was doing fine. It was then I realized he was more formal than Prince Gordon and did not deal with small talk. I attempted to bring up less personal topics, however, he delivered his answers just as shortly as the first response with the same neutral facial expression. So I stopped, opting to instead look out the window.

I found myself surprised by how early I was able to hear the screams of his people before we even arrived. They were already aware of his presence even though they had yet to see him. When we were finally there, his enforcers had already exited their carriage and created a barrier against the adoring crowd desiring to interact with their Prince. Kendall seemed to be more of a celebrity than anything.

Kendall introduced me while Martin stood off to the side, watching him with a mixture of distaste and jealousy. When he caught my eyes, his distaste grew exponentially before he scoffed and looked away towards the crowd. I frowned, wondering what could make a man so cruel towards a stranger.

Once Kendall finished, I spoke but I could tell that they were more interested in the Prince standing nearby than they were in me. When Kendall finally left, the crowd died, some of them eying me before going about their daily routines. I attempted to talk to many of them only to get indifferent answers in return, discouraging me.

I had begun walking throughout the town, noting it was much more distant than my village had been. The people did not seem connected with one another. They seemed to share little more than the area they had chosen to live in. Even Prince Gordon's people seemed more friendly towards one another, waving to each other and saying greetings. Here, it felt a bit lonely.

It was not until now that my spirits began to lift when I spotted a pair of twins pointing towards me and giggling. I smiled at them, waving which they eagerly returned before beckoning me towards them. I turned to look at Martin who appeared uninterested before deciding it was best to just ignore him as he had done to me many times before.

I followed them, pausing when they ran inside a small modern house. I was sure their parents would not appreciate them bringing in a stranger, much less one that was not human. Just as I was going to turn towards Martin and tell him it was time to leave, a man stepped out, wiping his hands on a towel while smiling.

"You're the shape-shifter visiting, right? My kids just asked if you could eat with us. You wouldn't mind, would you? Dinner just finished and they're always inviting people over," he said, laughing as if this was a normal thing.

I smiled, laughing with him. "I would not want to intrude, Sir. I do not-" I started, but he shook his head, waving off my formalities.

"You'd be helping me! I need someone to keep them company. My husband and I haven't been able to say a word to each other since we took them in. Come on in before they terrorize him," he joked, walking back in. I hesitated before joining him, the scent of numerous homemade foods surrounding me.

The table was already set, covered with so many foods that I expected more people to walk in. However, they informed me it would just be us five. I learned that the man who invited me in was Chris and his husband's name was Phillip. They'd both taken in their twins, whom they'd found roaming the streets alone. They'd tried finding their parents only to come up empty handed before they decided to take care of them themselves, treating them as if they were their own.

They told me they were thrilled with my attempt to bring my race back into the light and out of the shadows. They wanted more equality and hoped that by the time their children were old enough, the world would be in a better place. They told me they'd moved here after hearing of the Prince's Protector and everything she'd done and gone against. I was the next step in their minds and they promised me another dinner when I succeeded.

I parted with them, leaving elated. It had been an eventful day, despite the beginning of it. I was not touching as many people as I had hoped, but what mattered was those who were following behind in support. Quality over quantity held a new meaning in my mind after today's dinner.

I found Martin, who was standing off to the side with several enforcers. When he saw me he stiffened and I frowned, my mood dropping instantly. "Is something wrong?" I asked, watching as he huffed.

"Let's go. I've waited on your long enough and you aren't even my Prince," he muttered, walking towards the carriage. I shook my head, ignoring his words.

"Why are you so bothered by me? I had a lovely dinner with a beautiful family who did nothing but support me. They supported Kendall's companion, who you also seem to have a problem with. Both of us are complete strangers to them, yet they had nothing but love for us. Why can you not do the same?" I asked curiously, only to watch as he slammed the carriage door shut, my words simply traveling through the air.

I joined a couple of enforcers in the other carriage, deciding it was best not to test Martin's patience with me. I sat there thinking of what was next to come: the visit to Calyx's land and ultimately, the visit to Kai.

I thought I would be excited when the time came, yet what I felt most was nervousness. I desired to see Kai, however, I knew he would not handle it well when I explained that Prince Gordon and I had shared a few moments. But I knew keeping these a secret from Kai would lead to me distrusting myself and my actions.

I spent my evening hoping that Kai would surprise me instead of acting as I expected. Yet, I knew my lumeleopard better than anyone. Enough so that I knew the chances of being surprised were as slim as the chances of the visit going smoothly were.

Päästja- (savior)  

Lumeleopard- (snow leopard)