The last chapter, my HEART. I hope you guys enjoy and thank you all so much for giving this story and chance and staying with my throughout its journey. There will be an epilogue and a few others things added later!

Chapter Thirty Eight

I had not felt such dread since I had watched the village I grew up in burn down in flames. Yet, standing here by Kai, waiting for Prince Gordon, it was present. It crawled slowly through my body, taking pleasure in amplifying the uneasy feeling that had rooted itself in my bones.

The two of us were headed toward Calyx's palace, to retrieve Kai's things and so he could say goodbye to the friends he'd made. From there, neither of us were sure what we would do.

Kai has seldom talked on the way to my room, but stayed by my side, only watching as I packed. It was the reason the unease had found a place to grow. We had walked out of the palace, silence still accompanying us. It helped to be outside, surrounded by the air, but not much.

It was not until I heard his footsteps as he walked in our direction, that I felt more at ease. I smiled, running over to him without thought.

When I reached him, my arms wrapped around his torso and I nearly clung to him. I could feel him shake with a smooth laugh before his own arms found my body, bringing us closer together. We were silent for a few brief seconds, enjoying the moment.

"Päästja," I started, prepared to tell him that I would miss her dearly and would be sure to visit if he allowed me too. However, my words were cut off by a choking sound that escaped my throat, tears blurring my vision before I realized I was crying.

I looked up at him, surprised before I opened my mouth in an attempt to start again. He simply shook his head, the somber smile making its return. "It will only make this harder, my dear," he whispered, reaching up to brush away the few tears that had fallen.

I tilted my head, my nose running along his. I could hear his heart pick up its' pacing at the small movement, heart how his breath caught in his throat. I could see his eyes drift close as a sigh escaped him and feel his hand move to my cheek, his thumb rubbing it softly.

"I think it would be best if you left before I forget that is what you are doing," he whispered, as if reluctant to enforce his words with volume.

I nodded, his words stinging me, but I understood his reasoning. The longer the both of us lingered behind with one another, the harder it would be when I finally left. It was already hard enough for me and I could not bear the thought of making things more difficult for him.

"I will see you again?" I said, the words more of a question. I studied him, seeing him nod before his smile left his face.

"Yes, we will meet again. Until then, I would like you to remember something. You have called me your savior, Ivy, but failed to realize you are mine as well. You are my-" he paused, a fleet feeling of happiness filling me as I watched him sound out the word. "-päästja, my dear. You have saved me from myself and I will not forget that."

I laughed, burying my face in his chest, hoping that he did not notice the new flow of tears. But he sighed before saying, "Please do not cry. I do not want your sad expression to be the last I see of you until next time."

I smiled, pulling away to quickly wipe away my tears before meeting his eyes once more. I could see that he was hiding behind a mask himself, the smile not reaching his eyes. It was not the soft one I had grown familiar with either but seemed to be stitched in place, waiting until I was gone before it was torn apart.

"Do not allow yourself to forget the pleasures of life, päästja." I grabbed his hand in both of mine, rubbing it for a moment, before pressing my lips against it.

"Do not forget you are more than your leap, my dear." With this, he grabbed one of my hands, mimicking me as he pressed his lips against it. They were gentle, much like everything else about him.

"Your Highness."

I glanced behind him, seeing an enforcer standing there, looking ahead expressionlessly. He had been the one to speak but gave no indication that he had.

"You must go now, Ivy, or we will never finish saying goodbye," Prince Gordon said, the fake smile still there.

"Until next time, päästja," I said, feeling my heart clench at those simple words.

"Until next time, my dear."

I was quick to turn, my mind already frantically searching for something to say, to keep from having to leave.

I stepped forward, attempting to ignore how heavy my legs felt. I wondered if I went the other way whether my legs and heart would feel lighter.

Kai was still standing in the same spot, his back turned towards me. "Finished?" His tone was calm, the usual anger gone.

"Yes," I replied softly, getting into the carriage. He followed behind, sitting across from me. An enforcer came in next and then the door was closed.

I turned my attention from Kai, looking out the window furthest from me. Prince Gordon was still standing there, watching with his hands in his pockets.

I could distantly hear someone make a noise right before the carriage lurched forward, yanking away my view of him.

The ride was long and quiet. No one spoke and I kept my eyes out of my window, although I paid no mind to what was outside. My thoughts seemed centered around a pair of green eyes instead.

When we finally arrived at the palace, I did not realize it until Kai touched my knee, jerking me from my mind.

"We're here," he said, his voice soft as he studied me. I looked away, closing my expressions from him before exiting the carriage.

The moment Kai stepped out, I watched as a figure rushed out of nowhere, nearly tackling him to the ground. The enforcer behind yelling, stopping when the woman started speaking.

"Whiskers! I was worried to hell about you! Do you realize-" she trailed off when she saw me standing nearby, blushing just as deeply as she had when I first met her.

"Hello, Vex. It is nice to see you again," I said, giving her a small smile. She returned it, pulling herself away from Kai.

Kai opened his mouth to speak but I beat him to it. "Perhaps you can help Kai pack? I will wait down here-" This time, I was the one interrupted.

"No. I won't leave you down here with a bunch of strangers." Kai was not looking at me as he said the words, but I could still hear the stubborn tone.

"I will be fine. Go, pack and say goodbye."

Vex's eyes flickered at my words before she looked at Kai. "Goodbye? Where are you going?" she asked, and Kai growled lightly at me.

"Don't move." He did not say anything else, but left his spot, taking Vex with him. Then, I was left to walk inside with the enforcer following me.

I found a chair, deciding it was best to sit there until Kai said his parting words. It was close enough to the entrance that when he returned, Kai would be able to see me.

The enforcer stood nearby, his back towards the wall. He stared forward, occasionally looking around us as if someone might pop out at any given moment, I suppose that was his job.

I wanted to question him, to ask him about anything to keep my mind off Prince Gordon, but I did not think that he would be interested in conversing. Just as I considered trying anyways, I was greeted by a prince.

I smiled, standing up as he walked towards me. "Hello, Prince Gordon. It is a pleasure to see you yet again," I said, a relieved smile appearing on my face.

He smiled back, his full of mischief. "Believe me, Ivy, the pleasure is all mine. It's not every day I meet someone as beautiful as you," he said and I laughed, causing him to smile wider.

"You are a flirt, Prince Gordon. You must see beautiful women all the time," I replied and he nodded, winking.

"Yes, but none are as beautiful in heart as you are, Ivy." I blinked in reply, the smile turning sad.

"Thank you, Prince Gordon. I appreciate your kind words. I believe, that despite your unnecessary flirting, you are as beautiful in heart as I am." This caused his own smile to falter, both of our happy moods turning a bit darker.

"And my brother?" He asked casually, but it was enough for me to look away.

"Of course. He is more ilus in heart than the both of us," I whispered, sure of it.

Before meeting Prince Gordon, I had found kindness in Kai relieving me of the harsh expectations of the leap. I had found kindness in Kai's protective nature and in the childish ways of the cubs that ran around all day. But it was Prince Gordon who taught me the meaning of kindness.

I learned that it was found in the unselfish acts of others, sacrificing their own desires to tend to those surrounding them. I learned that it was asking others if they were okay and inviting them on a small trip with you when realizing that they were not well. I learned that it was being patient with a man who showed no indication of ever returning the favor. I learned that it was taking in two strangers and attempting to make them feel welcome in the place you called home.

I was interrupted when Prince Gordon cleared his throat. I stared at him until I realized that he had said something and I had not caught of word of it. I smiled apologetically before he repeated himself.

"If that's true, then why aren't you with him right now?" To that, I did not have an answer.

"Where do you think I should be, Prince Gordon?" I asked, my eyes still not quite meeting his own.

"I think," he started, his words slow as if treading with caution, his tone soft. "That you should be where you want to be most. If that's with Kai, then I wish you the best. But it it's with my brother, then you shouldn't be here.

You don't want to live your life regretting your choice, Ivy. Don't make the choice that makes everyone else happy. Make the choice that makes you happy. Screw everyone else. If you worry about everyone else's happiness then, in the end, you're going to be the one that's screwed."

He then laughed at his own words, although it was without humor. "I'm a bit out of it today, I'm sorry. But I still meant every word. I hope you're happy, Ivy." He looked at me for a moment, curious, before he turned and left as if nothing was said.

It was odd, that the advice from a man who prided himself on his flirting was the best advice I had heard. It was bitter and harsh, yet I could not ignore his words. At this point in my life, I was more unsure of my future than ever.

Kai had suggested we find another leap to join. He knew of others, although he was not too sure of the locations. He had a general idea and said it was enough for us to check out. I had not asked what would happen after because I did not think he knew and the question would just frustrate him.

Would another leap accept us? Would they think that we had betrayed or disappointed out kind and kill us themselves? Would the leader of another leap feel threatened by Kai's dominance or vice versa? There were so many unknowns, my head swimming with a hundred questions that would remain just that until we found a place to reside.

I did not know what Kai would have done had I stayed at the palace. My guess was something reckless, likely to cost the both of us. Kai could not be alone, just as I could not.

However, with Kai, he needed someone to lead. I did not think he would know what to do with himself if I was not there to care for, just as I would not know what to do if Kai was not there to lean on. But that did not mean escaping our comforts would cause only darkness.

I sat with my thoughts for company until Kai came back, a bag in his hand. His eyes caught mine before he said, "Are you ready. There's a leap that ours traded with occasionally-"

"I want to stay, imtleja." At the sentence, I could see his shoulders tense, his mouth forming that thin line that promised I would not like what he said. He dropped his bag, letting it fall to the ground, as he clenched and unclenched his hands.

"We're going to the leap, Ivy," he said softly, but I did not mistake the words for gentleness. No, I knew better than anyone that it was a warning, one I should not push.

I looked down, shaking my head. "I want to stay here. I do not want to be a subject of a leap's harsh criticism. I want to stay here and-"

"And what?" he snapped, but I did not look up. I could hear his angry footsteps before I felt my chin being jerked up, meeting the storm head-on. "Live happily ever after with a prince, a human? Is that where you see this going?" I jerked away from him, wrapping my arms around myself.

"It is my choice, Kai." My strength was dwindling and I knew if Kai continued as he was, that I would stop arguing and go where he pleased.

I could hear his growl before he responded. "I'm tired of your naivety. Go, see if you still want your prince after a month, a day. What happens when you're met with the criticism of the humans?"

My eyes flashed to his, struggling not to fall back to the floor. "Should I not try? Should I live within a leap with you, pretending all is fine when it is not? I wasn't happy in our leap, Kai! Why would I find happiness within a leap of strangers?" My eyes were swimming in a sea of tears now, threatening to spill.

I could see him open his mouth to snap back, but watched with surprise as he restrained him. I could see him turn away before softly saying, "Go, Ivy. Go to your prince." He grabbed his bag and began walking away.

"Where will you go?" I asked, my voice as soft as his had been.

He paused but did not turn around. "Here, until you realize that prince of yours isn't your future. You're a leopard, Ivy, not a human. Sometimes, I think you forget that." Then, he walked off, back in the direction he had come from.

I stood there in shock, shivering. Despite our argument, I was not sure what to do next. Part of me desired to chase after him and find comfort in his touch. The other part of me desired to stay where I was until I understood what had happened.

"Are we returning to the palace?"

I jumped, whirling around. The enforcer was still standing there, his eyes now on mine. I had forgotten about him. He had heard every word of our conversation and understood what had happened. His eyebrows were raised in question, waiting for my answer.

I hesitated before nodding, silently watching as he peeled himself away from the wall and began walking. I followed behind, still hugging myself.

We entered the carriage and it was not until we started riding off, away from Kai, that my body realized what was happening. I was returning to the palace, back to Prince Gordon. Just at the thought, my body came alive with a mixture of feelings, all buzzing for attention.

The ride was silent, the enforcer looking out his own window. "Do you think I am making a mistake?" I asked softly, watching him. He didn't move and I thought he would not reply until I saw the soft shrug of his shoulders.

"You won't know until you go through with your decision. Otherwise, it's just an opportunity missed or a regret." I nodded in agreement with his words, using them to push asides the doubts that were rising up.

I had spent years in a leap and knew what a future there would hold. I knew that I would have cubs, care for them, and stand beside Kai. I had tasted that future and knew in my heart that it was not what I desired.

Would Cayne and I have a future? Or would we continue as we were too, tentatively stepping around one another, attempting to ignore how we felt? Would I simply be a close friend of his in public and a companion in private? Or would we have a future as bright as Kendall and Snowflake's? All these questions flashed through my mind, wanting to be answered.

When we finally arrived back, the enforcer stepped out, holding a hand out for me. I hesitantly took it, walking out. He gave me a reassuring smile before his face turned into an expressionless mask and he walked forward. I followed behind, hoping he would lead me to Prince Gordon.

We walked through the palace and received questioning looks. However, no one came toward us and asked what we were doing. They remained in their places, deciding I was no danger.

We finally stopped in front of Prince Gordon's office. He knocked and was met with silence. The enforcer then opened the door, and we both stepped inside.

The office was dark but I knew it was empty. I looked at the enforcer who noticed my stare and explained. "He had a meeting in the afternoon but should be finishing up soon. I assume he'll come here after as he always does."

I nodded, walking over to the couch and sitting down. As the time passed, it did so slowly. I thought perhaps my nerves would get the best of me and I would start pacing in the hall when I finally heard a pair of familiar footsteps approaching the room.

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath before I stood up. I tensed as the door opened and he walked in. His eyes scanned the room, landing on the enforcer first. His face formed a frown before he opened his mouth, disapproval in his eyes.

"Why are you-" he started, but his words died down as he continued scanning the room and his eyes finally met mine. "Ivy?" My name was said with such disbelief and confusion that I felt a small smile form on my face.

The enforcer cleared his throat before he walked out, closing the door behind him. Prince Gordon's eyes remained on me, searching.

"Hello, päästja," I said, my smile growing brighter. He finally returned it, however, there was a touch of sadness in it.

"It is a pleasant surprise to see you, but I do not understand why would are here, my dear. Did you forget something?" he asked, the confusion still evident in his expression.

I shook my head, walking towards him. When I reached him, I wrapped my arms around his waist, running my nose along his chest. The simple action quickened his breathing, bringing another smile to my face.

"I seem to have forgotten my süda," I whispered as his arms wrapped around me, tightening and bringing us closer together.

"What does süda mean?" he asked, just as I was hoping.

"It means heart, päästja. I have left it with you and do not think I can bear to be so far away from it." I could hear his heart beat faster and feel it when he stopped breathing.

When he didn't speak, I continued. "I find I am happiest with you, Cayne. You have my heart and happiness. Your brother made me realize that I desired to be here with you. I do not want to live with the doubt that I made a wrong decision, päästja. I wish to be here with you."

His hand was running along my back but had stopped at my words. When I finished, he did not speak or move. I was afraid to look up, afraid of what I might find within his eyes, so I did not move either, waiting on him.

"And Kai?" I felt myself tensing, his voice expressionless. Had I made the wrong choice?

"He is staying with your brother for now. He believes I am making a mistake and will come to my senses," I whispered, waiting for him to confirm my fears.

But he didn't. I felt his hand move from my back to my jaw, tilting my chin upwards so that my eyes finally met his own. Within his, I could see a soft tenderness that brought a sigh of relief out of me right before he pressed lips against mine.

The kiss reminded me much of us. It started out hesitant but promised an endless amount of possibilities. 

  Päästja - (savior) 

Ilus - (beautiful)

imtleja - (admirer)

süda   - (heart)