PRESENT

I close the file in front of me when I feel my eyes start to burn. The words in front of me start to blur and tell me I've reached my limit for the day. I look at the clock in my office and suppress a groan when I realize the time. It's nearly midnight and explains my total exhaustion. As much as I love my job, it drains the life out of me.

"Oh, Jesus." I mutter when I check my phone and realize I have several missed calls from Nate. I love him to death but he gives overprotective a new meaning. He knows I work insanely long hours and am hardly on my phone but still thinks I've been kidnapped in plain sight if I don't pick up right away.

"You're going to have to wait until I'm home and in some comfier clothes, bro." I mumble, shutting my phone off before I receive another call.

I pack up everything in my briefcase before leaving my office, closing the lights and locking the door behind me. I pass a co-worker's office and call out to her, surprised that she's still here.

"Working late, Fawn?"

"Can't crack this case." She smiles tiredly at me and gestures at the laptop in front of her. "It's one of those ones that make you question why you became a lawyer instead of a shoe salesman."

I have to laugh at that. "You're telling me. How much longer are you sticking around? I could give you a ride."

"I'm okay, thanks. I'll probably catch a ride with Owen."

"Owen, huh?" I lean against the door frame. "He's cute."

"I guess." She mumbles, cheeks turning a little pink.

I giggle at her obvious crush on him and drop my voice down to a whisper. "You should go for it. I swear his eyes are always glued to you."

"No, they're not." Despite her words she sits up a little straighter.

"They so are."

"Oh, whatever. What about you? Nobody at this firm ever catches your attention. Are you taken?"

Yeah, right. More like allergic to relationships but I keep that bit to myself.

"No. It's just not a good time for me right now. I've got enough on my plate settling in here."

"Well, you'd never guess that. You fit right in."

"Thanks." I straighten up and wave a hand. "Have a good weekend."

"You too, Aria. Goodnight."

My heels clack noisily as I make my way out of the building, waving a hand to the lobby man on the way out.

The drive home is a blur. It's been a long week and with my nightmares still ruining my sleep on a nightly basis, I feel like a zombie. It's a miracle I make it home in one-piece but I sigh in relief when my house comes into view. All I want is to throw my bra across the room and get into bed. My back hurts, my feet ache, and my head is pulsing with a killer headache. Even so, I'd never want anything else but this for a career. There's nothing more exhilarating than winning a case and bringing justice to the innocent, especially when they throw their arms around you in sheer gratitude. The knowledge that I can save lives even though I couldn't save my own kind of makes up for everything that I went through. In a way, this job is what saved me in the end and I couldn't be more proud that I'm my own hero of my story. So many things were taken away from me but this? This is mine.

I slip my heels off as soon as I'm inside the dark and quiet house, making my way up the stairs as quietly as possible. I don't get very far when a light somewhere to my right comes on and I turn towards it, not at all surprised when Nate comes out of his temporary room and closes it behind him.

"I didn't know you were staying the weekend." I tell him, hugging him back when he winds his arms around me.

"Why didn't you pick up your phone?" He whispers back and somehow makes it sound like yelling.

"Give me a break, Nathaniel. Do you know how busy I am at the firm? I don't have time for phone calls."

"Well, you could have picked up this one. I was trying to FaceTime Zack. He learned how to walk."

I gasp and my heart sinks at the knowledge that I missed out. "No way! Since when?"

"Yesterday. I brought him home for everyone to see. Hopefully he doesn't forget come tomorrow morning and you can see it then."

"Damn." I hated missing moments like these in my nephew's life but at least I'm in Boston now and not miles away. Being closer to my family is the only thing that makes the move worth it.

"How're you doing?" He nudges his chin toward my room and we make our way there. Our voice go back to normal volume once I close the door. "No offence but you look like hell, Ria."

"Thanks." I deadpan and put my briefcase away.

"I'm serious. Tell me what's up."

I know he won't let this go so I flop on my bed, getting comfortable. "Just some bad dreams. I think I'm still adjusting to being back."

Nate curses and sits beside me, looking down at me in concern. "Maybe coming back here was a bad idea."

"How can you say that, Nate? Look at how much I missed out on. You're a father now, Lexie is dating Sebastian, Mia is captain of the volleyball team and is on the honour roll; I mean these are all things I wanted to be there for. I won't miss anymore moments. I won't let Robbie control my life when he's long gone."

"I get it." He squeezes my shoulder. "And for what it's worth, you didn't miss anything. Anytime something major or even minor happened in this family, the first thing we did was tell you about it. You had to be with us at all times even if it was just in spirit."

"Thanks." I nudge him. That was the thing about Nate — he always knew what to say to me and when I needed it most. He got me. "Enough about me. How're you and Del?"

"Amazing." He grins. I've never seen him so gone over a girl and it makes me happy that he found that. If anyone deserves it, it's Nate. "Her second book got published and her fans are going absolutely crazy. She might even do a book tour soon."

"That's incredible." Nate's girlfriend, Delilah, is an author and I've read her books before. Lenny and I are huge fans.

"Anyways, I should go back to bed before she wonders where I am. Let me know if you need anything, okay?"

I nod and he bends down to kiss my forehead. When he leaves and closes the door behind him, I'm left alone with my thoughts and suddenly don't feel at ease anymore. That's what I hated about being alone — I always felt like my demons would jump out in plain sight and get me.

"You're being stupid." I mutter to myself. I'm safe. I'm okay. I'm not that girl anymore.

At least I hope.

***

I thank the waiter when he sets my food down in front of me and he smiles back, his eyes dipping down to my cleavage. They stay there. Nice.

"Have you never seen boobs?" Lenny raises a brow smoothly.

His eyes jerk to her and the tips of his ears go red. "Huh?"

"You like getting in a nice look, do ya?" She smirks. "Pull your pants down, big boy. If you get to ogle then so do we."

He mumbles something under his breath and skitters away. I shake my head.

"Classy."

"What? Nobody creeps on you on my watch. And if he can't give back with the same amount of balls he has to stare, then he shouldn't be looking at all."

My shoulders shake with laughter as I shovel pasta in my mouth. Lenny is quite literally my personal guardian angel. I really do wonder where I'd be without her.

"So." She starts in a bright voice and I know she's going to say something I won't like. "Have you seen Asher yet?"

I knew it.

Suddenly, my food is a lot more interesting than it was two seconds ago.

"Yes." I mumble reluctantly.

I don't elaborate and the silence drags on for an uncomfortable minute. I purposely make sure my mouth is too full to talk any more.

"Ria!" Lenny smacks the table. "You know I hate when people aren't straight up with me. Would you spill it already?"

"Fine." I set my fork down so she can see I'm being serious now. I'm surprised Lenny lasted as long as she did. Patience is not one of her stronger characteristics. "It was...awkward."

"That's expected. Do you think he could tell you've been dreaming about fucking his brains out?"

"Lenny!" My face drops into my hands. I really hated her bluntness, sometimes. "Advertise my life to this whole restaurant, why don't you?"

"What? It's an honest question."

"I doubt he could tell that, but..."

"But?" She prods.

"I don't know. I swear I could feel this weird tension between us."

"Sexual?"

"Yeah. He was making flirty comments and I could tell he was checking me out."

"Now we're talking." She grins and displays her blindingly perfect teeth. Lenny has a naturally serious and sharp face but her smile transforms it completely. She's the kind of pretty that make men trip over their feet, especially with her badass tattoos and piercing blue eyes.

"No, Len. We're not talking. If this was any other guy, maybe, but this is Ash. My best friend. The person I grew up with. It's weird having these feelings all of a sudden for someone I looked at platonically for so long."

"I don't know, Ria. From what you've told me about your history, I think you guys experienced a lot of moments growing up that felt like they were more than just a friendship but I think it freaked you both equally so you convinced yourselves it was nothing."

"Maybe." I'm not convinced. "I just don't know if I want to see where this goes."

"You're scared. I get that. You have every right to be. But don't let your fear stop you from at least trying. Asher means a lot to you, babe. You have pieces of him all over you and I should know — I did most of them."

My heart flips over in my chest and I get defensive. "I have pieces of everyone important to me."

"But his mean more. We both know that."

I bite my lip and stare down at my plate in contemplation. As usual, she has a point.

"I can't lose him." I tell her the same thing I always tell her when we talk about him. "He's been part of my life practically my whole life. Admitting my feelings for him would change everything and it could mean losing the person that matters most to me. I've lost enough."

"I know." Her tone becomes softer. "And you're right to feel those things, too. You're only human. But just consider the possibility and maybe one day when you're ready, you'll address it."

"I guess." I blow out a breath. "Thanks, Len. I feel like I've been bitching about him to you since we met."

"Hey." She leans back in her seat. "I'm here for it. I haven't had feelings for anyone in so long I think I've become immune to relationships that are more than a good fuck."

"That's because there isn't a guy on this planet that can handle you."

"And that's how I know none of them deserve me."

"I need your confidence." I admit.

"You don't need anything. You wouldn't be you if you weren't exactly the way you are. Own your scars and what they made you today. That's how I get through all my days, especially the ones where I wish I didn't wake up."

"Don't say that." I say quietly. I know it's selfish but I don't know what I would do without Lenny. I can't even imagine not having her by my side anymore even though she's been through the worst kind of horrors. Mine almost pale in comparison but Lenny hates when I say that. She insists there's no scale for pain and that what you feel isn't more or less than anyone else's. She amazes me.

"I don't mean that." Her smile lacks its usual confidence. "Today just happens to be a bad day."

"I remember the date." I reach across the table for her hand and squeeze it when she gives it to me. "And I brought something for you."

"Don't." She groans. "I hate presents. You know that."

"Too fucking bad." I take out the little gift bag tucked in my purse and hand it to her.

"You hate me." She deadpans and awkwardly takes the bag from my outstretched hands. That was Lenny, though. She would do anything for anyone in a heartbeat but if someone tried to return the favour, she panicked. People rarely understand her giving side just because it's hidden by her toughness.

I watch her open it up with an anxious bounce in my seat. It took me forever to think of it but once I had the idea, I knew it was perfect.

I'm not disappointed when Lenny opens the box and sucks in a small breath, blinking fast. Automatically, I know she's trying to hold in tears and the sight makes me just as emotional because in all the years I've known her, I've never seen her cry. Lenny is tough as nails.

"You didn't." She whispers. She looks up at the ceiling and pulls in another breath. "If even one tear comes out of me I'll punch your face."

"I love you, too." I grin. Lenny acted extra tough when she felt most vulnerable so I consider this mission accomplished.

"Thank you, Ria." She adds the charm to her bracelet and shakes her head. "You've got major balls giving me something like this."

"I knew you were ready." I shrug. "I wouldn't have done it otherwise."

"I think I'm finally rubbing off on you." She stands up and I do the same when she reaches her arms out for a hug. I hug her back tightly because I know she needs it, especially today, even though she'll never admit it. When we pull away, we both notice the curious stares from our spectators. Lenny doesn't waste a second.

"The DNA test results came back! She's my sister!"

The crowd breaks into applause and it's so hard not to burst out laughing hysterically.

"You're awful." I manage to tell her through my giggles.

"The worst." She agrees with a wink.

"We should go before we get asked questions." I call for the check. "It's on me, today."

"I won't argue." She snorts. "You know I'm saving up for my own place."

"I already told you to stay with me."

"If it were your own place I would but I can't do that when you're staying with your family."

"Why not? They'd love you."

"I'll sleepover on the weekends but that's all you get. Besides, I don't plan on moving anymore so I'll need my own place eventually."

"Liking Boston that much?" I ask as we step out of the restaurant. I hold the sides of my jacket tighter against me. It should start snowing soon and I'm not looking forward to it.

"Only because of my job." Her face lights up and I grin, feeling her excitement. When I first met Lenny, I immediately clicked with her despite being her total opposite. As she was in the middle of doing my very first tattoo, she admitted she was on her way to law school before dropping out and pursuing her passion as a tattoo artist. She'd laughed her ass off when I admitted I'd just come from passing my bar exam and she claimed our meeting was faith. I've always believed her. "I can't believe they still wanted me after two years of me rejecting their offers."

"You're way too talented." I nudge her with my elbow. "There isn't a single tattoo on me that isn't done by you."

"If you ever cheat on me I'll stab you in your sleep." She says seriously.

"Never." I laugh. "Lexie wants to get a tat done by you too, by the way. Can you put her down for sometime this week?"

"You know it. How does your hot twin feel about it? I doubt he agreed."

"Stop calling him hot." I pretend to gag.

"Why? He's stupidly gorgeous and a complete sweetheart. I can't be the only girl secretly in love with him."

"Gross." I roll my eyes. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't used to it. Growing up, girls would try to be friends with me just so they could get close to Nate. It was always infuriating but Nate never fell for their shit and, if anything, hated them as much as me. He always put me before anyone even during his hormonal years. "And Lexie hasn't told him. He'll see for himself once she gets it."

"Good plan. I'll be sure to visit your grave sites."

I snicker. She hit the nail on the head with that one.

"You let us worry about that. But can you do it?"

"Of course it is. Just make sure her design is ready when she comes in if she has one in mind. I'll text you the next opening I have."

"Perfect." I hug her once we reach my car. "I'll see you then."

"Text me when you're home." She says as I climb in.

I wave a hand once I'm buckled in and driving off. I blast some music to ward off the uninvited thoughts of Asher which I've found myself doing ever since I came back here. I already knew this would happen and I think that's partially why I put off moving back for so long. I just can't seem to get a handle of my emotions. It doesn't help that I see him all the fucking time when he's next door. I have to stifle a groan when I pull into my driveway just as he's leaving his house, locking up behind him. This is exactly what I mean. I debate staying inside until he leaves but he notices my car and his steps slow down. I quickly look away from him and busy myself with taking the key out, pretending like I haven't noticed him.

Just be cool.

I get out of my car and close the door, casually flipping my hair over my shoulder. It's not like I know my hair is his favourite attribute and I'm trying to impress him. That would be bizarre.

"Hey."

I'd just taken a couple of steps toward my house when his voice stops me. I look over my shoulder and purposely widen my eyes a little.

"Oh." I sound surprised. "Hey, Ash. What's up?"

"Not much." He does a quick once-over of me and I take that as an opportunity to do the same. Asher has that classic American boy look with dirty blonde hair and blue eyes that are practically transparent when the light hits them. His jaw is sharp like the rest of his face, making him appear chiseled to perfection. The rest of him is pretty much the same. I've seen enough pictures of him and Nate to know his body is outrageous and compliments his height perfectly. Asher stands tall and broad at six foot three, just an inch shorter than Nate. I'm really tall for a girl at five foot ten and Asher is one of the few guys that's actually taller than me even in heels. I've always found that to be attractive about him even when I considered him strictly platonic. When my eyes meet his again, they seem knowing as they accompany the slight tilt of his lips and I curse myself for dropping my facade so fast. So much for being cool. "You look nice. Where are you coming from?"

Why did my heart flutter at his compliment? He's complimented me loads of time before. Why am I taking them so personally now? He's just being nice.

"I had a lunch with Lenny."

"Oh, right. Your best friend. Nate and I thought Lenny was a dude for the longest time."

He smiles tightly and my brow goes up a millimetre. Did his assumption bother him?

"Nope. I still have no idea why you two thought that."

"Well, the first story you told us about her was how she kicked the shit out of a guy who tried to steal some woman's purse. I just assumed it was a dude and so did Nate.

I can't help my laugh recalling that one event. That day was the day after I met Lenny and I knew then that I was keeping her for life.

"Okay, I see your point."

"I hear she does tats. The piece she did on Nate is fucking amazing. Think she could do one for me?"

"Definitely." I nod even though my nerves are going into overdrive at the thought of my two best friends meeting. "She's high in demand at the moment but I'll squeeze you in."

"You will, huh?" He bites the inside of his cheek, barely containing his smile. It takes a second to register how he interpreted my words.

"I didn't realize you turned into such a perv while I was gone." I look down at the ground. I can feel how warm my face is and I don't want him to see. What the hell is he doing making all these sexual remarks? This isn't like us.

"A lot changed while you were gone."

There's a bite to his words that makes me look back up. Asher is looking off somewhere with a tight expression. He looks angry and maybe even worried.

"Hey." I straighten up and hesitantly cross the distance between us. I stop when I'm close enough to reach out and place my hand on his arm. "Is everything okay?"

His eyes come back to mine, flicking down to my hand for a second. I pull away instinctively.

"I'm fine." He opens his mouth but closes it again. Clearly there's something he's not saying but I'm not sure anymore if it's my place to push. The last time I did that he snapped at me and understandably so.

"Alright." I take a step back and feel awkward all over again. "But if you need anything then I'm here."

"Yeah." His lips thin into a tight smile that tells me he doesn't believe my words. I can't blame him. I'm not sure if I mean them, either. "I'll see you around."

I take another step back, nodding. He heads to his car and I go back toward my house. I want to turn back but I force myself not to.

Fuck. This encounter was even worse than our last. And although I hate to admit, I know it's pretty much all my fault.

_________________________

A/N

Fun fact: a lot of my inspiration for the progression of these two's relationship comes from two close friends of mine who experienced something just like this! Their relationship was really rocky in the beginning (even worse than this) so I hope I'm making this as realistic as possible!

Anyways, I've finished outlining the entire book and I'm SO amped to see the whole thing play out! *squeals*

Please VOTE, comment and share if you liked this chapter!

Happy Reading :)