PRESENT

My knee bounces nervously underneath the table as my eyes track the crowd of people walking by. I peer through the window and try to scope out the two people I'm looking for.

"May I take your order?" The waiters asks me as he sets down a jug and a glass of water.

I barely spare him a glance. "No, thanks. I'm waiting for someone."

"I'll come back." I hear him say and grunt my acknowledgment, keeping my eyes outside.

When I realize I'm pulling on my fingers I quickly stop myself and stuff my hands under my thighs. The last thing I need is to be obvious about how fucking freaked out I am. I didn't want to agree to do this to begin with but after Dad's accident, there weren't many options left for me. My birth parents and their crowd are the type of people you can never underestimate or think you can run away from. In their world, if you don't abide by their rules then there's only one possible outcome for you — get killed or have someone close to you killed. I'll be fucking damned if I let either happen.

My hand slithers down to my calf to double-check the knife I've strapped on. That's another rule when it comes to these fucks — never meet them in person without protection. Besides, I don't know if they're going to bring any henchman with them and I'm not taking any chances. Ever since that day I...killed Marshall, I never leave the house without at least a pocket knife. I refuse to ever get caught off guard again.

Tingles spread from the top of my shoulders down to the base of my spine when two familiar figures get closer to the restaurant. I'd recognize those two anywhere, as much as I hate the fact. I wish I could erase them from my mind or better yet from the face of the earth. They ruined me to my very core. They made me a killer.

My jaw sets tightly and I keep my eyes on Nora and Mike as they walk to the booth I'm seated at. The absolute rage I feel is indescribable. All I know is that my entire body trembles with the physical strength it takes to keep myself from leaping across the table and punching their faces in, especially Mike. He smirks as he gets comfortable and I know he knows exactly what I'm thinking. I stare back at him, unwavering, and keep my gaze in place despite loathing what I see. Because I see myself.

Take away the tired dips under his eyes, the wrinkles on his forehead, the hollowness of his cheeks, and I'd be the spitting image of my birth father. We have the same height and, before his weight reduced dramatically because of drugs, we had the same build. All of my features come from him and there's no denying he'd be decent looking if he didn't insist on fucking up his appearance with his bad habits. The only physical attribute I get from my birth mother are her eyes. We have the same shade of transparent blue, or the colour of glass as Aria likes to describe them.

I stare into those eyes now and detect a hint of regret, maybe even a hint of longing. I wonder what her life would have amounted to if she never met Mike. I also disregard that thought immediately. She's a grown woman who can make her own damn choices and one of them was to knowingly abandon me. So fuck them both.

I look back at Mike and anger claws into my veins until I'm drunk on it. All I can picture is how Dad looked on the hospital bed after the accident, frail and broken and completely unlike his lively and jokester self. My throat tightens painfully with the urge to scream into his face so he can hear my pain but I keep it down. I won't show him that he got to me. I won't be weak. He'd delight in that, the little fuck.

"If you ever try to hurt my parents again," I start in a low and clam voice. I barely recognize myself and the ruthless bite to my tone. "I will personally make it my mission to hunt you down and rip you apart. Something tells me taking a life will be easier the second time around, especially if that life is yours."

He barks out a laugh that catches the attention of everyone around us. It's loud and boisterous and obnoxious and even those who don't know him can tell as much. My face is stoic as ever and I don't so much as blink as I continue to stare at him. Gradually, his laugh fades off until that smug smile slips off and transforms into a nervous scowl. His eyes search my face and there's no denying he can see how serious I am. He knows I mean it and he'd be right to feel fear because of it. If that's what it takes to protect the very people I'd die for myself then so be it.

"What the fuck ever, boy." He scoffs and breaks our stare. He tugs at the collar of his shirt and I know I've gotten under his skin. The piece of shit may think he knows me but I know him, too.

"I'm not meeting you because of the shit you pulled." I tell him even though that's exactly why I'm meeting him. I don't want him to have any sort of advantage over me so I lie my way out of the tight spot he's got me in. I know how to play this game just as well as he does. "I'm meeting you to make sure you understand that if you ever pull any type of shit against me again, it'll be the last thing you ever do. You won't have to worry about me taking this job if you're not alive to see it through yourself, get me?"

He swings his glare my way and his eyes blaze with anger and pride. He hates that I'm commanding authority in this situation when it would normally be the other way around. Well too fucking bad. I'm not a kid anymore and nobody gets to fuck with me.

Nora gasps when I jump up from my seat and reach over the table to grip Mike's throat tightly, pulling his face into mine so quickly that he blinks and tries to register when I even moved. Mike's eyes widen and a garbled noise comes out of him when I squeeze my fingers into his flesh, cutting off his airway. I notice the waiter who tended to me earlier take a hesitant step toward our table but my sneer sends him away. I turn my attention back to Mike who gulps loudly when I press my thumb into his jugular — hard.

"Answer the fucking question, Mike." I taunt. My voice is deadly quiet and void of any emotion, an empty eeriness to it. "Do. You. Get me?"

He face turns beet red from lack of oxygen but even then his jaw sets tightly in half-assed defiance. I smirk like the little shit I am because I know I'm making him nervous. It's obvious who has the advantage in this moment and it's sure as fuck not him. That's why I let him go so suddenly that he falls back on his ass and cough loudly, sucking in lungfuls of air. I calmly lean back against the booth and intertwine my hands on the table as I watch him get it together, ignoring our gaping audience as they pause mid-bite and mid-chatter. Nora tries soothing my finger imprints on his neck but he bats her away angrily and swivels his burning gaze to mine. I've humiliated him.

"Fuck you." He seethes. "You're still taking that job, you hear?"

I laugh at his audacity to try and threaten me when I was seconds away from sending him into a state of unconsciousness.

"Did you find anyone who can actually protect me?" I counter.

"We're working on it." Nora answers because Mike is still coughing into his sleeve and trying to regain his breath. As much as I'm enjoying this, part of me wishes I kept squeezing his throat until he passed out. For good. I could have done it too and based on the glances he keeps giving me — rage, fear, defeat — he knows it.

"Then why are we meeting? To what do I owe the pleasure of having you fucks fly out to Boston for little ol' me?"

"Don't get smart, boy." Mike hisses.

"Suck a dick, Michael, or should I pick up where I left off?" My hand twitches with the physical need to do just that and Mike notices, nostrils flaring as he keeps his mouth shut. I smirk. Good man.

"There's been a development that might affect our plans." Nora's voice is small and for good reason. I slowly move my stare on her, eyes narrowing into slits.

"What kind of development?" I accuse.

She shifts uncomfortably in her seat. "It's Christian. We received word that he's AWOL."

An unwelcome shiver crawls over my body and I lock up. Flashes of the day I was captured and forced to become a killer slam into me and suddenly it's my turn to struggle for breaths. I hate being reminded of that fucking day and how it ruined my goddamn life. I've spent eight years trying to move on but now Christian is running around God knows where? And for what?

"Do we know why?" My voice is cool despite me falling apart on the inside.

"We're not sure but he's not in New York anymore."

Without meaning to my eyes dart around us in paranoia. He wouldn't try and come after me, would he? It's been almost a decade since Marshall's death. Surely he moved on?

"It's not positive that he's here." Nora echoes my thoughts and places her hand on top of my slightly shaking fist. I pull it away like she burned me and scoff at the look of hurt on her face. She can fucking spare me.

"And if he is? You're just going to jeopardize my life for the millionth fucking time because you want to close yet another drug deal? Do something else with your lives, for fuck's sake. You two are fucking pathetic."

"It's not just any drug deal." Mike hisses and leans into me, dropping his voice. "We're talking the richest type of Molly here, both in taste and in value. Once we buy it and sell it for double the price, we'll finally be able to pay off the Asesinos and get them off our back for good. Don't you see, you little shit? This is going to help you, too."

"As usual Mikey, you're missing the fucking point." I hiss back. "Every gang in New York knows that your gang is full of cons and that's why they don't sell you shit. Cowering behind me while I do your job for you will put me in the crossfire and then I'll have the Asesinos and the Westies out for my blood."

"Only if we get caught."

"Which we will because the Vice Lords are full of fucking morons that can't plan to save their lives. Besides, I'm not stupid. I know you're not telling me the entire story. Nobody sells or buys from the Vice Lords which means you'll need a fresh face to sell the Molly too. Don't think I don't realize you want me to not just pick up the package but to con it off to whichever gang you have in mind. If the Westies find out they were conned, they'll kill me. Not you. That's why you want me for the job. Simple pick-up my ass, you fucker."

Mike blinks in surprise and Nora's mouth drops slightly. Did they really think they could trick me? These two have smoked their brain cells away all their life and that's exactly why they run the most beat-down and disrespected gang in the streets. They're flat out idiots and I was no exception to seeing right through their bullshit, much like the rest of New York.

"Fine." Mike spits out. "We need you to buy and sell but that doesn't change the fact that you have to do it. You gave us your word that you would if we find you protection."

"Things have changed, haven't they? You didn't tell me the whole story so now my terms are being revised as well. Double the security I initially asked for. If I'm doing double the work then I want double the protection. And they better be fucking good."

"They will." Mike narrows his eyes at me. God, he looks like all the life was sucked out of him. It's fucking pathetic.

"I'll be the judge of that." I warn. "I'm personally going to test their strength. I want four individuals flanking me when I go in. Each of them have to fight me in the ring and outlast me. Whoever makes the cut has permission to protect me. Find as many dudes to fight me as you can because I'm fucking warning you, not many will make it past me."

With that I stand up and slip out of the booth, pausing beside my birth parents while they stare back at me. Nora remains quiet and watches me warily while Mike glares like he wants to kill me on the spot. I sneer back, my cockiness obvious as hell.

"And in case you didn't hear me the last ten fucking times I warned you, stay the fuck away from my family. I do the job and then we're done for good. If you break any of my terms, I'll fucking break you both limb by limb." I lean down and my voice drops to a cold whisper. "And believe me, I'll enjoy it."

The restaurant is silent as I saunter out of it and no doubt my anger is coming off of me in waves. For too long I spent my life being pushed around and taken advantage of. No more. No fucking more.

***

I quietly open my parents' bedroom and peer inside, using the soft glow of the hallway light to make out their sleeping figures. Mom has her arms wrapped around Dad as he lays partially on top of her with his head resting on her chest. I smile at the image of both my parents safe with one another, feeling a pang of guilt that I'm constantly jeopardizing that. All I've done since they adopted me is make their life harder. One day I'll find a way to make it up to them. I don't know how but I will.

I close their door as well as the hallway light and tiredly make my way to my room, getting in the shower to wash away today's events. After my meeting with Nora and Mike, I had so much pent-up anger that I went to Fighter's Den to get it all out. I sparred with Nate and Cameron and won against both of them who, alongside Coach and the rest of the fighters, eyed my like I suddenly mutated. I fought like a fucking champion and they knew it — saw it. I had a feeling Coach wanted to bring up the pros to me again but the look on my face probably told him it was bad fucking time. With Christian's location unknown I know I'm going to have to constantly watch my back. There's no guarantee he knows I'm located in Boston but I can't take any chances. I'll have to ask Cameron to install a security system at my place as well as next door. I'm not taking any fucking chances but on the off-chance that he does find me, I'll be ready. No matter what it takes, I'll get rid of him. I'm not going to be the black hole in people's lives anymore and destroy everything around them. I'll be better.

Except right now nothing seems to make me feel better. Not the snack I fix up for myself before I go to sleep, not mindlessly scrolling through my social media, not even watching Rocky for the hundredth time despite never getting tired of it. Only one thing can make me feel better at this point, or one person, and I keep stealing glances through my window like a fucking creep. Fuck, if I can help it though.

I've always been a raging storm that destroyed everything in its path and Ria was my peace, the slit of sunshine that fought its way through the dark clouds, and offered me a moment of warmth. I spent all my life basking in it greedily and without it, I forgot how fucking lonely and cold it is sitting in the dark. I can't stop being greedy for it — for her.

My mind wanders back to the night in her room. I lost track of how many times I've found myself replaying what happened; the almost-kiss.

Fuck, I wanted to devour her. Ravish those full lips that have taunted me all my life. The same lips that say my name like she cherishes it, the same lips that laugh at my stupid jokes, and the same lips that have promised me all the best things in life and given them tenfold. I've been dreaming about those lips since the day I fucking met her and that night I almost had them. Almost tasted them.

Until I didn't. Couldn't.

For all I know, Ria wasn't thinking straight when she was putting the moves on me, her outrageous body nestled into mine and her hand moving across my chest. Just remembering her touch heats up my body all over again and the desire I feel tightens my gut painfully. I wanted to crush my mouth against hers so badly, wanted to pull her body into mine and claim her once and for all, but she was weak. In that moment she was vulnerable and I couldn't take advantage of her.

She'd just lost a case and nothing breaks Aria's heart more than losing a case. She was seeking comfort and I happened to be there so maybe she wanted to feel safe more than she wanted me. If we ever do kiss — and fuck, I really hope we do — she's going to have a clear head where all she knows and thinks and feels is me. Nothing clouding her judgement or making her second-guess her actions. When she finally gets me, it'll be because every last cell in her body wants me so bad that she can't fucking stay away anymore. That's when I'll give her what she wants and not a moment sooner.

But...I could really use her right now. She's the only person that can tame me when I'm in a rage and the only person who accepts my cold truth the way everyone else is too scared to. Ria never backs away from me, even though I spent a lot of times in my life pushing her away purposefully because I was too scared to get close. That girl fought tooth and nail to be in my life and now I depend on her too much.

I fiddle with the friendship bracelet she gave me sixteen years ago, knowing I've made up my mind.

I close the doors to my balcony quietly and leap over to hers, peering inside. A faint light is shining and when I squint, I realize it's coming from her laptop screen which is open as she stares at it and types furiously. I check my watch and note it's one in the morning. She's most likely working and the thought makes me shake my head. This fucking girl never stops for a second, does she?

I knock quietly on the doors that separate her balcony and room and her head snaps up, surprise widening her eyes behind her glasses. My lips twitch at the image of her in those specs with her hair messily knotted on the top of her head. Even like this she's so goddamn beautiful it takes my fucking breath away.

Slowly, slow enough that I can tell she's not sure she should be doing this, Aria sets down her laptop and pads over to the door to open them up for me. As soon as that barrier is out of the way her scent crashes into me, the perfect combination of peach and something sweeter. I almost groan. Why does she always have to smell so fucking good? I can never eat a peach without thinking of Aria. Even now, my dick is on high alert behind my sweatpants and I silently hope she doesn't glance down or she'll know just how happy I am to see her.

"Hey, brat." I say easily and lean my shoulder on the frame of her balcony entry.

Her eyes search my face, briefly dropping to my arms for a moment before clearing her throat and bringing them back up. I suppress a smile. So maybe I wore a fitted black tank to show off my biceps. Am I douche for that? Probably. It's a little worth it when Aria's cheeks turn a pretty shady of pink. I fucking love that she's affected by me.

"What's up?" Her voice comes out a little raspy and she clears her throat and tries again. "Need something?"

"Your company." I tell her honestly and she blinks in surprise. I guess it is kind of weird considering how we've been dodging each other for the better part of the week but I'm done with this shit. I've spent years pining over the fact that my best friend was miles away from me and now she's mere inches away and we're not even speaking? Fuck that shit. "Bad day."

Sympathy replaces the surprise and she steps to the side as a silent invitation to let me in. I saunter inside her room and head straight for the lamp on her bedside table, flicking it on before crawling on to her bed and stretching out my legs. I lean my back against her headboard and ignoring her gaping expression as I pat the spot beside me. "Come here."

"Excuse me?" She blinks. I'm acting like I own the fucking place but let's face it — I pretty much do.

"I want your company." I repeat and crook one finger at her. "Come here, Princess."

"What's wrong with you?" She asks bluntly and I chuckle under my breath. Aria rarely beats around the bush and it's my favourite thing about her.

"What's wrong with needing my best friend?"

She's not buying it. She crosses her arms and cocks her hip to the side. My eyes drag down her body briefly, pausing on those long legs on display in her sleep shorts. I meet her eyes again and they watch me suspiciously. "You didn't mind avoiding your best friend this whole week."

"I wasn't avoiding you." It's mostly true. Yeah, the almost-kiss threw me off and wrapped me in a confusing cloud of desire and guilt but I also had a lot going on. "This week just hasn't been very stellar."

"Which you also won't talk to me about." She counters and I grimace. She has a point. "What is this really about, Ash?"

I groan and my head falls back against the headboard. I watch her from underneath hooded eyes. "Stop acting like I'm some villain with ulterior motives. We're still getting used to our friendship after it was on a momentary hiatus. So what? You're just going to run when things get weird? You're not getting rid of me that easily."

"No one's getting rid of you." She grumbles and finally, fucking finally, joins me on the bed. She keeps a healthy distance between us but I don't mind, especially not when I notice her obviously trying to hold back a smile as she resumes working on her case.

"What're you working on?" I lean my head closer to her laptop before she shuts it in my face.

"Client confidentiality." She tells me sternly and presses her index finger on the centre of my forehead to move me back. "You know better."

"And you're no fun." I pout.

She rolls her eyes and this time her smile graces me with its appearance.

"Why'd you have a bad day?" She redirects our conversation and I suppress a groan, wishing she hadn't.

It's not that I don't want to tell her what's going on — frankly, she's the only person I want to tell — but I don't want to drag her into something as dangerous as this. I'm already walking around with a target on my back and I'm not about to let Aria get caught in the crossfire. Besides, right now I have the upper hand with my birth parents and as long as the situation is under control, there's no reason to involve anyone else and get them worried, especially Ria.

"Spent most of it re-visiting my past." I tell her truthfully without giving any details. "It was just one of those days that reminded me I haven't really escaped it."

"I'm sorry." She frowns and I want to fucking kiss it right off.

Smile for me, Princess. Show me that beautiful smile again.

"That's okay." I shrug. "It's part of life."

"And it never goes away." She adds. "We also like to keep reminding ourselves of it, some of us more than others."

She traces my 'REALIZE' tattoo for emphasis and I laugh softly at the jab. All too soon any semblance of humour escapes me when I notice something on the side of her arm. It's another tattoo and for a brief second it looked like...

"What's this?" I point to it and she yanks her arm away so fast I barely see her move. Her cheeks are flushed as she looks away from me and I know then that what I saw was definitely right. I wasn't imagining it.

"Nothing." She covers the tattoo with her other hand and holds her arm close to her chest.

"My ass." I murmur. I turn my body to face hers. "Show me."

"No." She raises her chin. Stubborn woman.

"Ria." I drop my voice like I always do when I demand something. Aria narrows her eyes back. We both know she's immune to my authoritative side. "I already saw it."

"It's not a big deal." She tries again.

"Then show me." I counter. Her eye actually twitches and I suppress a laugh. "Stop being so feisty."

"I'm not." She grumbles and reluctantly uncovers the tattoo, holding out her arm to me.

I grip her arm gently and bring it up to my face for closer inspection. I hear Ria suck in a small breath and my thumb brushes over his wrist, feeling the rapid flutter of her pulse underneath. My touch is doing that to her?

"When'd you get this?" My voice is raspy. Clearly I'm just as affected as her. Maybe by the moment, maybe by the tattoo, maybe just...her.

"Not too long after the bar exam, right before I started representing in trials." She's whispering so damn quietly. I know it's taking a lot of courage on her end to admit this but I'm not sure why. I'm fucking honoured.

My finger presses into the infinity symbol once again. "I think I get that it represents our friendship bracelet but why not just wear the bracelet itself? Did you lose it?"

"No." She shakes her head. She also sounds a little calmer. I look up and find her eyes on my bracelet and I guess she feels relieved that it's still just as important to me, too. How could she doubt that to begin with? "I still have it but it's not exactly part of lawyer etiquette in court. There's a dress code to be followed and the bracelet wasn't part of it. I needed it, though. For good luck. It got me through law school and the bar exam and I needed it for every case I represented, too. So I got it tattooed on me instead. Dumb, huh?"

"How?" I challenge. I can't take my eyes off the infinity symbol. It's doing something really fucking weird to my chest that something that represents me is tattooed on Aria. Holy fuck. What is this feeling?

"I don't know." She mumbles. "I guess it's stupid that I still believe these bracelets bring good luck."

I finally meet her eyes again and hold her stare. "In my entire career, I haven't fought a single match without wearing my bracelet. I've also never lost a match. I can't step into the ring without it because it's still my good luck charm and it works just fucking fine by the looks of it."

Her mouth drops almost comically at my admission and draws my attention to those damn lips again. Fuck, I want to know what they taste like, what they feel like.

"Really?" Her question snaps me out of it and I nod.

"Really."

She looks thoughtful as she searches my face. "You never stopped caring, did you? Even when we weren't on speaking terms?"

"I promised you, didn't I?" I'm referring to the night of our high school dance and she knows it. "That I'd never leave no matter how hard things got between us? I don't break my promises, Ria. Especially not the ones I make to you."

"You don't." She smiles and looks down at her hands.

We're both quiet after that for a few minutes, lost in our own heads, before a yawn escapes me. I feel my body grow heavy with sleep but I don't want to leave just yet. "Is it cool if I crash here?"

Aria visibly stammers, turning to me with perplexed eyes. "Uh...you haven't done that in a really long time. Besides, we're not kids anymore."

"You don't have to remind me, Princess." My eyes drop down to her curvy body and I hold back another groan. Maybe I'm pushing it by making this request but I just want to spend the night with her for old time's sake, even though I'd only be torturing myself sleeping beside her and knowing I can't touch her the way I want. It's a good kind of torture, though.

"I still don't think it's a good idea." There's a bite to her words as if she's forcing them out, like she doesn't want to say them. It makes me feel better about my bluntness.

"Just for tonight." I wrap an arm around her and pull her into my side. I don't miss how she immediately relaxes into me and places her head on my shoulder. If this was a week ago, she would have pulled away instead. "I don't feel like being alone."

"Are you sure it won't be weird? Our friendship just seems kind of...rocky."

I know exactly what she means. "Well that's why we're working on it, right?"

She hesitates and I give her a minute or so to mull it over.

"Please?" I whisper against her ear. She might have just shivered. "I promise I won't bite."

"Asher." She warns but I know I've won her over.

I hold my pinky up for her and she stares at it suspiciously. With a half-assed scowl (she's totally pretending to be mad to act tough) she wraps her pinky with mine and levels me with a serious look. "Fine, but stay on your side of the bed and no using me as your pillow. I've endured enough of that."

"Promise." I repeat.

She hesitates another moment before taking off her glasses and closing the lamp, engulfing us in darkness. I can feel the weight of the bed shift around as she settles in under the covers and I do the same. It's a small bed so I can feel her body heat radiating off of her even though we're not touching. And guess fucking what? It's not good enough. I harbour maybe ten seconds of self-control before I throw an arm around her and pull her into me, spooning her from behind like I've always done and definitely using her as my pillow.

She groans and smacks the arm that's snaked around her waist. "You asshole. You crossed your fingers, didn't you?"

I kiss the back of her head, laughing softly, and this time sleep finds me.

________________________

A/N

First of all, Asher is badass as hell. The way he handled the situation with his birth parents and showed his cold, ruthless side? Yum.

Second of all, THESE TWO. I loveeee their chemistry so much. It's so hot but so sweet because there's something so much deeper hidden in there. Nothing gets me like a best-friends-to-lovers story. I want more!

Please VOTE, comment and share if you liked this chapter!

Happy Reading :)