TRIGGER WARNING
mentions of self harm
blood

Jimin goes back inside the hospital with swollen eyes and a broken heart, however, before he goes back to his friends, he goes inside the nearest restroom and splashes his face with water as many times as he could remember. He blinks a couple of times, practicing his best to smile and laugh like there's nothing wrong; like he didn't just walk out from a breakup scene with nothing but an empty chest.

He pauses for a while and stares at his reflection in the mirror. Why did he let this happen to himself? He thinks it's ironic because he goes and prances around his friends with a silly smile on his face, making them laugh their hearts out, but he couldn't even make himself happy. Here he is, confining himself inside a hospital's restroom, doing nothing but just bawling his eyes out like there's no tomorrow. He feels so alone and unwanted, but he still tries his best to put on a show ㅡ a mask. Yoongi wasn't the only one good at pretending.

"Park Jimin! Pull yourself together! You have to be strong! Don't let your guard down, you understand? Act touch enough so that the others won't see through you!" He whispers angrily to himself. It was something to persuade himself to be better ㅡ to act better. But, the words came out harsher than he had expected. It was forced, but it's better than to be a weakling in front of everybody.

It's in times like this that Jimin just wants to curl himself into a ball and isolate himself away from the entire world ㅡ from the prying eyes of people. He thinks it's better to suffer the pain all alone, than see someone else look at him with pitiful eyes. He wants to fight his own battles even if it means going alone unprepared.

He tightens his grip on the edge of the sink and he closes his eyes to focus on his breathing. He hears nothing but the sound of his blood rushing through his veins; his heart ㅡ albeit metaphorically dead ㅡ is still beating wildly inside his ribcage like a beast wanting to break free and escape. He doesn't notice that someone else had joined him inside the confines of the room, locking the door behind to give the two of them the privacy they deserve. His eyes instantly open when he feels a warm hand on his nape.

"Taehyung..." Jimin whispers shakily. Kim Taehyung, the root of everything. Jimin wants to be angry at him. He wants to scream and blame him for the broken heart Yoongi gave him. He wants to end their friendship because he was hurting; because Yoongi loves Taehyung more than he loves Jimin. But, the latter knows that it's only the pain that's talking. As much as he wants to find something ㅡ a fault, or just anything against Taehyung ㅡ there isn't one.

Sweet, precious Taehyung whom he already treated as his own brother; the only one who could tame the beast inside of him just like how he does it to Yoongi. Min Yoongi. The name still leaves a bittersweet taste on the tip of his tongue.

"Hey, Chim. You're crying. What's wrong?" He snaps out of it when he feels Taehyung's hand on his cheek, wiping a stray tear away. He looks at him, eyes searching for answers, but Jimin could only engulf the younger into the tightest hug he could possibly give. Taehyung yelps at the sudden action, but not long after, his body starts to relax under Jimin's touch.

"Just let me hug you for a while," Jimin mumbles, voice muffled as he finds Taehyung's chest comfortable enough to bury his own face there and let the warmth crawl into his skin. Taehyung doesn't pry, instead, he waits.

"Me and Yoongi broke up," Jimin starts. Taehyung stays as silent as he could, coming to terms with himself that it's better to react after Jimin could finish whatever he has to say. "He- he wasn't really in love with me. He's in love with someone else. I knew but I endured and stayed by his side in case he'd learn to love me, too. But right now? I really don't know what else to think anymore or who else to blame. I don't even have the heart to confront the person he's been in love with for years because he's clueless about everything!" He hears Taehyung sigh and slowly pulls away from the embrace. He lifts Jimin's chin up so that the two of them could look at each other face to face.

"Look, I know you're hurting right now, but how about Yoongi? He must be regretting all the things he had done to you, and I know that he's also blaming himself right now because you're hurt. You two are the same, suffering the pain of heartbreak, wallowing yourselves in self-pity, but instead of blaming yourselves or blaming each other, why don't you accept that somehow, the two of you are at fault?" Taehyung asks, his thumb starts drawing circles on the apple of Jimin's cheeks. The latter sniffles, too ashamed to look at Taehyung anymore. He knows the younger has a point, but he's too hurt to admit it.

"Yoongi's at fault because he still pursued you even though he knows that he's in love with someone else. He made you believe that he loves you, and playing with someone else's feelings is just so wrong. You, on the other hand, knew everything. You knew, yet you chose to stay, and that choice became the reason why you're hurting right now. You could've walked away a long time ago; could've saved yourself from the excruciating pain of heartbreak because I know that deep inside, you knew you deserve so much more than just being number two."

"I love him, Tae. I couldn't leave him because I was too caught up hoping that maybe, just maybe, one day, he'd learn to love me for me."

"But, sometimes, Chim," Taehyung whispers, prying Jimin's bangs away from his eyes. "You have to save yourself before you could even drown for someone who wouldn't even dip his feet in the water for you."

"Oh, Tae. What will I do? I don't think I could do this all alone no matter how hard I'm trying to convince myself that I can!" Jimin exclaims in frustration, his face now buried back on Taehyung's chest. His fingers clutch the collar of the latter's shirt tightly, too afraid to let go.

"That's why I'm here. Not just me, but also Jeongguk. You don't have to go through this heartbreak all by yourself because we're here." Jimin cries harder, his tears now staining Taehyung's shirt but the younger doesn't care. Jimin is far more important than the shirt he's wearing.

•••

To say that Yoongi is a mess would be an understatement. He is completely devastated ㅡ a ticking time bomb that could explode any moment from now. Bottles of beer are scattered on the floor, shards of broken glass lying dangerously on the carpet. He's sitting on the soiled couch, too engrossed on biting down the skin of his fingernails. He doesn't stop, even though the taste of iron takes over his mouth. He could feel blood dripping from his fingers; the skin now throbbing painfully as if it's begging for him to stop, but does he care? No, he does not, at all.

The only thing that brings him back to reality was the continuous knock on the door. He stops abusing his fingers, eyes now boring holes on the door not too far away from him. He doesn't remember inviting someone over; doesn't expect someone to appear and check on him, but it's happening now, and he's beyond pissed because he doesn't need anyone.

He chooses to ignore the noise, hands coming up to cover both of his ears as he curls his body on the couch. He doesn't budge and continues to stare at the empty space of his ceiling.

"Yoongi hyung, I know you're in there! Open up!" God, Yoongi knows that voice. He knows everything about the owner of that very voice that startled him, and it's scaring him. He stands up, knees buckling when he accidentally steps on a broken glass. He hisses and removes the debris like it's nothing, and pads his way to open the door. And there, stood Kim Taehyung, body quivering in fear.

"I was so worried, you idiot!" Taehyung says, flinging himself towards the older. Yoongi almost lost his balance, but he was quick enough to hold on the door knob for support. His body was tense at first, contemplating whether to push Taehyung away, or return the warmth of his embrace. He chooses the latter, fingers curling on Taehyung's sides.

"Why didn't you call me?"

"You were at the hospital, Tae... You were there because of me. I'm afraid that if I call you, I'd fuck everything up again," Yoongi answers, arms tightening around Taehyung's fragile form. The younger looks at him wearily, scanning Yoongi from head to toe. He frowns when he sees the blood on Yoongi's hands and feet.

"Let's get that cleaned up," Taehyung says, leading the older back inside the living room. He searches for Yoongi's first-aid kit inside the bathroom, and when he had what he needed, he goes back to Yoongi.

He kneels down in front of him, hands clasping Yoongi's own ones. Before he could even start cleaning the wound, he kisses every bruised knuckle of Yoongi's hand, making sure that his lips would linger on the skin a bit longer. Yoongi can only stare at him with tears threatening to roll down his cheeks.

"How many times do I tell you to not hurt yourself?" Taehyung asks, pain evident in his voice. Yoongi felt ashamed of his actions. He tried so hard to stop himself from doing so, but it was a tough battle between him and his demons, because it was his only escape from reality.

"Taehyung..."

"Hush, hyung. It can wait. Let me fix you first and then we'll move inside your bedroom so that you can tell me everything. Okay?" Yoongi replies with a soft 'Okay' and lets Taehyung do his thing. After wrapping up Yoongi's hands and feet with a bandage, he ushers the older to settle himself inside his bedroom as he returns the kit to its rightful place. When he enters Yoongi's room, he smiles a little, seeing his best friend all wrapped up in a comforter like a burrito. He then crawls on the bed, lifting Yoongi up a bit so that half of his body is now laying down on Taehyung's chest.

"Play with my hair, please," Yoongi pleads.

"Do you want to tell me everything or do I have to wait for a couple of days before you could finally open up to me?"

Yoongi looks up at him, his face contorted in pain. Taehyung knows he's afraid. He knows how secretive Yoongi can be, bottling up all his emotions to himself until he can take it no more, and as much as Taehyung wants Yoongi to open up to his own accord, it tires him out, too.

They were best friends, and best friends were supposed to tell each other everything; no secrets, no lies, because a part of their promise is to be by each other's side through thick and thin; through rainbows and storms. It hurts Taehyung to see Yoongi like this ㅡ so helpless, so vulnerable; and it makes him sick because as much as he wants to take the pain away, he can't, because it isn't his battle to fight.

"I'm in love with someone else," Yoongi blurts out, catching Taehyung off guard. "I've been in love with someone else, and I used Jimin, made him my boyfriend with the hopes of moving on from the one that I truly love, but obviously, I failed, Tae. Now, I fucked everything up and Jimin hates me to the core."

"He doesn't, hyung. He's just hurt, but that doesn't mean that he hates you, you know? It's the pain that's talking, sometimes, that's why we say things we don't really mean to say out loud when we're hurt. We talked this morning and he told me the reason why you broke up, and just like you, he feels conflicted, too."

"Did he tell you? About the person whom I'm in love with?" Yoongi's voice wavers in fear, so in attempt to calm him down, Taehyung massages his temple.

"He didn't, and I didn't ask because I wanted YOU to tell me."

Yoongi gulps down a lump down his throat upon hearing what Taehyung had said. Now, he's only left with two choices: tell the truth or lie some more. Yoongi was a pro at lying; he was too good at pretending, but Taehyung's just too... meticulous. So, Yoongi chooses something right this time.

"Tae, do you still remember the first time I met you and Hoseok?" Yoongi smiles at the bittersweet memory.

Yoongi's parents found the two all drenched from the rain in the middle of the night. They had nowhere to go, and when the couple welcomed them inside their home, Hoseok tells them everything. About how they were cousins, how both their parents met an accident not too long ago, and how they were kicked out from both their houses because they didn't own the property, yet. They were too young ㅡ Taehyung, who was 5, and Hoseok, 6. They didn't know where else to go, who else to seek help from, but luckily, a car passed by them, and that's when they met the family they have today.

"The first time I laid eyes on you, yours hold so much more than it should. I couldn't look away, I couldn't even bring myself to ignore the sudden feeling of contentment bubbling inside my chest. I wanted to protect you with all my might, promising myself that I will shield you from the cruel ways of life. I fought everyone that made you cry; made sure that they won't harm you because I will never forgive myself if something bad happens to you," Yoongi inhales, removing himself from Taehyung's chest so that he could sit up straight and look at Taehyung's expression.

"It was spring of 2012, when I realized that I've fallen head over heels for you."

Taehyung's breath hitches down his throat.

"You were too engrossed on picking up the fallen cherry blossoms, that you didn't notice how busy I was snapping photos of you. You then showed everything you've collected, giggling like a little kid because you told me you'd make a flower crown out of it. You said that the flowers were pretty during spring, but you were prettier in my eyes, no matter the season."

Yoongi reaches out to grab Taehyung by the hand. He places it directly above his chest, where Taehyung could feel his heart beating so fast.

"Yo own this, Tae. But, it doesn't matter anymore because I've long accepted that you can never be mine, especially now that you have someone that's making you happy."

"Why didn't you tell all of this to me earlier?"

"It wouldn't make much of a difference, Tae. I'll still end up hurting everyone around me, and you'd end up rejecting me. I don't want to risk the privilege of me becoming your best friend, and I know how big of an asshole I am to hurt someone as precious as Jimin..."

"What made you think I would reject you, hyung?"

Yoongi's freezes at this point.

"Yoongi, I loved you when I was 15. I told you I'd marry you, because I admired you so much. I pined over you for years, but when you started dating Jimin, I backed down. I concealed everything that I was feeling towards you because how could I ruin such a beautiful relationship? I always believed that you were in love with him, because your face would always light up every time you look at him..."

"Oh no... Tae... Fuck, baby, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Yoongi mutters repeatedly, arms reaching out desperately to touch Taehyung by the face.

"I was fucking in love with you, too, but I did my best to move on with life. I buried everything, went on dates, but nothing changed. I felt so hopeless, so hurt, but when Jeongguk came along... everything else made sense. I finally found my person, hyung..."

Yoongi was still trying to process everything Taehyung had said. It was too much, too sudden, and it hit him like a train... a train full of regrets.

"It was my fault for not telling you, Tae... I- I chickened out and assumed that you will never catch feelings for someone like me. You did nothing wrong, well, except for making me fall for you every single day," Yoongi jokes, trying to lighten up the mood. Taehyung whines at this, punching Yoongi on the chest playfully.

"You're happy now, right, Tae?" Taehyung nods solemnly.

"Good. That's good."

"What about Jimin, hyung? What about the two of you?"

"We talked it out, Tae. He decided it's best for us to break up and I deserve it for being such a selfish prick. Jimin... he deserves more, and I know, that someone out there is meant to shower him with the love he truly deserves."

"Are YOU happy?" Taehyung asks for the last time.

"I'm 'trying' to be... but, I know that someday, I will be."

"We're still best friends, right, hyung?"

"Of course, baby bear. Best friends."

Taehyung smiles and links his own pinky finger with Yoongi's. They both look at each other as they push their thumbs together, sealing a promise. For the first time, Yoongi feels contented with the word 'best friend'.