*Kalpana Pov*

I hate her! Actually, I may hate myself! I thought again and again while stirring the curry still not believing I acted like that with him.

Yes! I like him and more than that I never felt so warm and comfortable for so many years. And I never felt this attraction to anyone else I met too.

Or that may be because I never gave a thought also. Because I was normal with him in the beginning for sure.

Is it wrong to act on attraction I am feeling? But why is it wrong? This is my life and I can live as much as I can, right?

And what if it is wrong too. All the hurt I can get, I already got and now I just have to make sure Sudhir will not get hurt because the only major disaster would be both Manohar and I stopping the relationship when it starts in the first place which I may be able to handle.

However, there are still some questions that need to be answered. He was weird from the beginning and I do not know anything about him except whatever I have seen with him all these months.

What about Jay? Is it a mistake to start a new relation when the old one is knocking on the door? Or am I rushing because of Jay's presence which I am sure is not good.

But I decided to give a moment to be with Manohar even before Jay came, right? Then the feeling is natural and not forced.

I sighed, shaking my head and walked outside turning off the stove to see Sudhir still sitting near the window and looking outside.

I walked near to him and smiled before lifting him up. Maybe soon I will not be able to lift him. I thought, feeling a little tired whenever I lift him up.

"We will go out and see. But you should just hold me." I added and he nodded after which I opened the doors.

I turned to my left to see a big swing and moved towards it before placing him on it and sat beside him. We both sat quiet with him looking around while I smiled at the peace.

"I am hungry, Mom." He suddenly said and I nodded, glancing at the watch to see it is lunch time.

"Uncle?" he asked when I placed his plate before him.

"I will wait, but you eat off. He may be busy." I replied and he nodded, waiting for me to feed him.

"When will we go out?" he asked, staring at me.

"In the evening, but only if Uncle is free. Otherwise, don't disturb him and I will try to take you out. It is a new place, right." I replied, smiling and he nodded.

Sometimes, I just feel he is elder to his age with thew ay he understands everything. Even Harsha seems to be younger than him sometimes.

"What is going on in your head?" I heard a voice and shrieked before turning around to see Manohar standing behind me while Sudhir laughed.

"Nothing!" I replied, shaking my head.

"Then there must be so much." He said smiling and sat beside Sudhir.

"Got bored?" to the question Sudhir shook his head negatively before saying how the vehicles were looking and how cool it is outside.

"Lunch?" I asked, getting up.

"Please tell me you ordered." He replied, staring at me.

"No! I just made a simple curry." I said shrugging.

"I didn't bring you here to work, Kalpana. I said the option of cooking yourself when you didn't like the hotel food." He said sighing.

"It was nothing." I said, waving my hand.

"Mom! I want to sleep." Suddenly Sudhir said making me stop from going inside the kitchen.

"I will get him to bed." Manohar said when I started walking back towards Sudhir.

"Are you sure?" I asked, seeing his stiff shoulders.

"Of course!" he replied and walked away holding Sudhir's hand.

I frowned and walked back inside the kitchen taking plates for both of us before returning to the dining table.

When he didn't return immediately, I walked towards Sudhir bedroom to see him already sleeping on the bed while Manohar is standing near the door with a distant expression.

"What happened?" I asked frowning.

"Nothing!" he replied, coming out of his thoughts.

"Then there must be so much." I said, repeating his earlier comment to which he chuckled and walked near to me after closing Sudhir's door.

"So, about my payback." He stated, standing before me and I immediately felt nervous not knowing what to say.

"Don't feel nervous." He said giving me an amused look.

"I am not nervous." I said, shaking my head.

"You are! You rub your neck whenever you feel nervous." He said and then felt his hand over my neck where my hand is already there making me drop it hearing his words.

"How do you know?" I asked feeing amazed when I never observed much myself.

"I just do!" he replied shrugging.

"Just like how your shoulders come in a straight line whenever you are stressed." I stated and this time he stared at me with shock.

"Let's go and have lunch." He said walking away and I followed him, seeing his yet again straight shoulders.

"What were you thinking when I came?" he asked after a few minutes of silence.

"I just... I am just worried maybe I am putting too much pressure on Sudhir. He is a very understanding kid." I replied and he chuckled.

"Weren't you disciplined when you were a kid?" he asked smiling.

"I was but the circumstances are different and I don't want them for him." I replied looking down remembering the memories.

He kept silence and we both finished our lunch before I took the plates to wash them. I walked out of the kitchen to see him sitting on the couch and changing the channels.

Maybe it would be better if I go inside my room! I thought and started walking towards the small set of stairs.

"Watch something with me, Kalpana." His voice stopped me and I turned to see him smiling which made me walk near to him and sit on the couch beside him.

"So, want to share?" he asked after a few minutes.

"I so knew you would ask." I replied shaking my head.

"I am not forcing you. I can understand when one doesn't want to share their story because I am one of them." He said and I stared at him.

"I am one of them too. But..." I trailed off.

"But?" he asked, frowning.

"I don't know why, but I wish to share it with someone." I replied and he nodded switching off the television.

"By the time I know what is going on, my Dad died. And all I know was my Mom doing whatever work she gets so that we can live. She would be so tired with all that because of which we never got much time together." I started and stared at him.

"However, I understood and stayed back. I tried to help as much as I can depending on my age. And then she got a permanent job at one big house which helped in my education along with relief for Mom. Then we had time to spend freely. Sometimes, it used to feel so lonely that we were just two in the world but then she too left." I added closing my eyes.

"I wish I was beside her at the last moment." I mumbled and felt myself being held.

"I am always talking sad things, right?" I asked, trying to lighten the moment.

"You have a right as my girlfriend." He simply replied and I chuckled before moving away from his hold.

"I have so many doubts and thoughts regarding everything. I did almost everything, doubting it twice and thrice and came out of it because of the weirdness in the company. However, all this doesn't feel wrong at all." I confessed staring at him.

"I tried to fight all this, Kalpana. But I know it can't be fought." He mumbled placing his palm over my cheek.

"I don't love you. I mean I don't know whether I can trust a person so much that I can fall in love again." I explained.

"It's okay!" he mumbled giving a small smile.

"Don't everyone need the person who can love them?" I asked frowning.

"That's right!" he replied and moved his palm to my neck before pulling me forward.

"Is it payback?" I asked when I felt his breath on my face.

"I just hope you will not feel uncomfortable." He replied ignoring my question.

"This will not be my first kiss." I mumbled and closed my eyes before I felt his lips over mine.

"Just say if I have to back off." He mumbled over my lips.

"Don't think much please, even I locked off my thinking." I mumbled back and he immediately turned the peck into a passion.

Before I could blink, I am tugging his hair dwelling myself into it. However, we moved back feeling the lack of breathing.

"That was..." I trailed off and smiled.

"Yeah!" he mumbled controlling his breath.

"So what were you saying before kissing me?" I asked remembering his words.

"Nothing!" he replied, shrugging, but I just stared at him.

"I don't want to pressure you which even you wish for, right?" he asked and I slowly nodded leaving the matter.

"So, where do you want to go?" he asked when we sat in silence.

"Your wish!" I replied, shrugging and he smiled before taking his phone out to make arrangements.

I laughed seeing the way Sudhir and Manohar screaming from the ferris wheel while I am standing here due to this phobia of heights.

"I can't believe you didn't come with us." Manohar said, shaking his head holding Sudhir's hand tightly.

"But I am glad you took him with you. He always wanted to but I couldn't because of my fear. And now he finally got his chance." I said, looking at Sudhir' grinning face.

We three started walking but I observed Manohar still holding Sudhir's hand and is completely normal too.

When he has been so uncomfortable just a few minutes back when I requested him to take Sudhir for it. Even that stiffness gone now.

"Which one you want?" I came out of my thoughts hearing his voice and saw Sudhir pointing out to a lion's stuff toy.

"You know they keep this game to make us fail right?" I asked when I saw Manohar having a determined look.

"I will try my best. He asked something me first time. I shouldn't back out without trying right?" he asked and tried to hit the target but missed the three chances.

However, he tried again and again and then finally got it. I just stood there seeing him bending to give Sudhir his requested stuff toy.

"Did I crossed my line?" He asked, walking near to me with a guarded look.

"Someone should be there to spoil him, right?" I asked back and he stared at me for a second before pulling me to him and pressed a kiss on my forehead.

"He got so tired, but he enjoyed a lot." I said covering Sudhir with the blanket who is already asleep.

"You enjoyed?" Manohar asked when we both walked outside closing the door slightly.

"Yes!" I replied and stood a little away from him.

"Good night!" he said and turned to walk towards the main bedroom while I glanced at the room I choose beside Sudhir and walked inside.

"We will leave whenever you wish to." Manohar said, smiling having the dinner while I just stared at him.

These two days were amazing which can be because of complete enjoyment or maybe because of him. But at the end of the day everything is going towards unexpected.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked, feeling some confidence and glanced at Sudhir's door to see it is closed.

"What is it?" He asked frowning.

"Will you think less of me if I say, I want us to take another step ahead?" I asked, staring at him while his spoon stopped in air hearing my words.

"I will never think less of you, Kalpana. No matter what happens, but I felt you need time. I mean just two days back you said you like me." He replied calmly.

"I know! I don't know what I am saying." I mumbled completely feeling silly to even bring this topic up when he has such notion.

"I will go to bed." I said, standing up and walked away after washing my plate while he just sat there.

Stupid! Stupid! You are just stupid. When did you get so bold? I mean you had only one relation in your life until now and here you are asking someone to just go ahead who is your boss no matter what it is.

"Don't think too much, Kalpana. I don't want you to feel bad for saying something to me." I heard a voice and turned to see Manohar standing at the door with it opened.

"I know it is fast. Actually, I never thought about all this until two days. I was so into this different mode that having a sexual relationship felt taboo. Maybe nearly eight years of celibacy does that. And now I can't stop thinking about it. What if I lost it and you are wasting your time with me?" I asked blabbering and he suddenly laughed.

"You didn't lose it, Kalpana. That kiss two days back cleared everything. And there is still lots of time. I don't want you to take a step which you may regret." He replied and I sighed before sitting on the bed.

"Fine! So, when did you had sex last time?" I asked and he coughed hearing my question.

"What? I just made myself a fool talking about all this and I can't let it be one way." I explained and he sighed before walking near to me and sat beside me.

"It's been one year." He replied and I stared at him with shock.

"It is not a big thing." He added.

"You went to dates." I pointed out.

"I know, like I said I was trying to fight. But couldn't take such step in the form of fighting feeling it as wrong." He explained.

"Even now you don't feel like to?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"Damn it! It is all Jhanvi's fault for entering these thoughts in my head." I said groaning and covered my face.

"When you rub your neck feeling nervous, I always wish to remove your hand and trail my lips over it in my office room." He suddenly said and I turned to stare at him.

"Now, even I said something stupid." He added smiling.

"That is not stupid." I mumbled holding my stomach imagining his words and moved away.

"I will go." He said standing up and walked away while I sat there blinking my eyes.

"I am sorry that we reached so late." I said when the car stopped before my house the next day night.

"Please, I should have remembered I promised to go to the zoo." He said waving off.

"Nothing would have happened if we didn't go to the Zoo. There is one here too." I pointed out.

"I always fulfill my promise, no matter what." He said looking at Sudhir smiling.

"Black coffee?" I asked when we got outside to which he nodded before we walked inside with Sudhir already yawning.

"I will tuck him in." Manohar offered.

"You seem to be too enjoying this step. Are you practicing for your future children?" I asked, laughing and turned away walking in the kitchen feeling a small tug at heart but I ignored it.

Why did I even say that? I thought, frowning. Future kids? What were you thinking, Kalpana? Will you be this bad even at the work?

"Coffee ready!" I said walking back towards the living cringing at my own cheerful voice.

I am sure he didn't even mind or thought anything about it and here I am making it more weird with my behavior.

"Thanks!" he said, taking the cup and I sat beside him realizing something has gone wrong.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, frowning at him.

"I am completely wrong for you, Kalpana." He replied, not even looking at me.

"Why do you say that?" I asked, not understanding his sudden words.

"You want more kids?" he asked suddenly out of nowhere and I spit out my coffee.

"I... I... why are you asking this?" I asked back.

"Answer me!" he replied and I sighed.

"I don't know! I never even thought of some guy in my life until you. So, I don't know about that, but if possible I would love for more. Who doesn't want kids?" I said, shaking my head.

"Me!" he replied, turning towards me.

"What?" I asked, staring at him and placed the cup on the table.

"It's not that I don't want a kid because I had a full plan of getting at least four kids if possible." He replied giving a humorous laugh.

"And then the news of me not going to father any child ever." He added.

"You mean?" I asked and he nodded.

"There is some medical problem making me not eligible to ever father a child." He explained.

"So, you see! I am more than wrong for you and I should have stayed away from you from the beginning keeping this in mind. Actually, I was in a fantasy world like there was no problem and all but now... now I got out of it." He said placing the cup beside mine.

"I will go!" he added moving to stand up, but I held his hand tightly and tugged him back to which he sat down.

"Going away because of that reason from me is more than wrong." I said staring at him.

"But you deserve a normal guy." He said frowning.

"I have already selected a weird guy and you should have known normal is not being too fine with me." I said back.

"Kalpana!" he said, shaking his head.

"What will happen when we go back to work tomorrow?" I asked, placing my palm over his cheek.

"We will be like normal, but there will be no unprofessional behavior from my side. I already made you feel uncomfortable and I will not do it again." He replied placing his palm over mine.

"Okay!" I said, rubbing his cheek and smiled.

"Are you sure?" he asked frowning.

"I am glad you shared it with me." I replied and pressed my lips to his.

"A kiss for every secret?" he asked, nibbling my lips.

"Maybe!" I replied circling my arms around his neck and kiss him back not letting him to tease me.

"I will keep that in mind." He whispered and kissed me back before moving his lips away from my lips and trailed to my jaw and then to my neck.

"Finally!" he whispered, making me laugh and he moved back smiling.

I stared at him and he returned the look, brushing my lips with his finger. While I tried to control my fast breathing, he trailed his fingers to my hair brushed them.

"What about your driver?" I asked, feeling my eyes close with the movements of his fingers with my hair.

"He will take care of himself." He replied and moved away from me abruptly before turning his back to me.

"What happened?" I asked frowning.

"I am trying to be a gentleman, but you are not helping the matters." He replied and brushing his fingers through his hair.

"Be the weird guy." I said holding his hand, making him turn back towards me.

"For you, I will be always." He mumbled and lifted me up into his arms before walking towards the door.

I locked the door and he walked back towards the switchboard where I shut the lights and then he walked in my room.

"Say no even now, I will go away and we can meet tomorrow at the office." He said placing me on the bed.

"I don't feel like saying no." I whispered, staring at him and he removed his tie and jacket before laying beside me.

"Why are you thinking so much?" I asked frowning.

"I am not thinking but just praying you will never regret this." He replied and pulled me into a kiss before I can say anything else.

Before I know, I forgot everything else except his lips and the whirlwind of passion embracing both of us. And at the little sane moment, I heard his small voice saying 'I love you' but then sanity left making it unable for me to think about his words with a doubt whether I have imagined it or heard it correctly.

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What if Jay and Manohar come face to face with each other??? well, next chap it is...

And i know normally the girls just go back to ex-husband when they return to their lives but i dont want that... i am not saying Jay is villain but i wanted to show there can be another person too... another love too... and so much more which i hope to say in the next chaps...

How is the chap???

comment plz and vote...