Melissa points out as she picks flowers for the next bouquet, "you're quieter than usual."

This is my third shift since the holidays. We didn't get much chance to talk last week, the shop was overrun with customers. They were queueing out the door at one point. It's unusual for us to have two customers here at the same time let alone a whole shop full. Melissa prepared me for it though. She said that the holidays are the second busiest time of the year, the first being Valentine's day. We were working non-stop so the only time we'd talk is when we were passing each other saying things like "there are so many customers' or 'when will this end?'

I've gotten used to seeing Archer now, well, as used to it as I can get. We never stopped and talked to each other before, but he'd always have this look in his eyes as if he wanted to. I think making eye contact with me was his way of telling me he was thinking about me. Now, we pass each other, and he doesn't even spare me a glance. When our eyes do meet, which isn't often, they are void of any emotion entirely.

Lucky for me, we haven't had to act like we're okay around anyone either. Sophie and Henry have been working a lot recently, so we haven't had to sit at the table together and suffer through eating dinner. Plus, he's been spending a lot of his time out of the house which I'm not complaining about. It means no awkward encounters when we pass each other on the stairs.

I do wish I'd get over what happened faster, so I was able to keep my promise to my dad. I can't deny it, I'm sad sometimes. When I see him at school, laughing with his friends, my heart feels like it's being ripped out of my chest. I still wish I could make him laugh like that. There's also a part of me that wishes he didn't have it so easy. I'm being put through this pain so why isn't he? I know it's wrong to think like that though.

"Sorry." I apologise sheepishly as I wrap a bunch of flowers. What she's saying is true, I have been quiet. The only words I've spoken are 'thank you' when she passes me the next handful of flowers to wrap.

"No, don't apologise. It's okay to be quiet sometimes." I give her a grateful smile; she's always been understanding. "Unless there's something wrong." She adds. My gaze shifts around the room anxiously. "Is there something wrong?"

I chew my lip and continue with the task I'm doing. If I'm going to do this, I need something to distract me. "Promise you won't tell anyone."

She laughs gently, placing her hand on her chest. "Who would I tell? The only other people I see are the customers."

Hearing this doesn't make me feel any better about speaking the words aloud. I haven't spoken about what happened to anyone. I feel like if I do it will all become real, too real.

I sigh deeply, "We sort of broke up." I avoid eye contact with her, knowing that I don't need to say his name for her to know who I'm talking about. He's been the main topic of our conversations recently only this time it's for a different reason.

I hear the flowers she had in her hands drop back into the basket, but I don't look. I continue wrapping the ones she handed me last. Don't look, don't look, don't look. If I look, I'll cry, and no one needs to see that.

"You did?" I can hear the surprise in her voice.

"Well, technically we didn't break up because we were never together. But he cut off whatever was going on." I stop trying to correct myself because I know that she knows everything about our relationship. Usually, I'd smile when he was mentioned but now all it brings me is pain.

Her arms wrap around me comfortingly. I'm tense at first but I soon allow myself to relax. She smells of flowers. I'm not sure if it's a floral perfume that she wears or if it's simply from the amount of time she spends in the shop. Not only does she smell of flowers, but she also smells of coffee too. It's warming. It reminds me of the wintertime when I would rush into the nearest coffee shop with my dad and order a hot drink to keep us warm. We'd place our hands around the cup and wait for them to heat up before we drank it.

"What did he do?" She questions as we pull away. She still keeps a hand against my arm almost as if I'd break if she were to let go. But she isn't looking at me as if I'm fragile. She's looking at me as if she cares.

Melissa's the closest thing I've had to a mother figure in a long time. When my mum died ten years ago, I never thought I'd find what I had with her again. I could tell her anything and know that she'd understand. But I have that with Melissa. We haven't known each other long but she's the person I trust the most in Portland. I trust her whole-heartedly. I know she would never judge me.

"It's not really something he did, it's more something he didn't do."

I shuffle away and go back to wrapping flowers. She understands and does the same. I need to do something to keep me busy, to distract myself. "You already know he was coming to London with me over the holidays."

She nods in confirmation and waits for me to continue. "Penny mentioned a girl called Beth, apparently she was the reason he was so closed off when we met. It was playing on my mind for a while, but I wanted to wait until he told me. I didn't want to be pushy or anything."

I take a shaky breath and rub my palms against my trousers. "But, on Christmas, I had just told him something I'd been keeping to myself for a long time and I thought that maybe he'd trust me more now that I'd told him. I know, it sounds silly."

"Not at all."

"It turns out he wasn't ready to talk about her at all. In fact, I don't think he ever had any intention of telling me. When I asked who she was he seemed angry that I would even mention her name. And then he, um-" My voice continues to shake, and I grip the counter.

She shuffles closer to me but doesn't say anything. I manage to give her a small smile. I know what she's trying to say. She's letting me know that she's here. I swallow, convincing myself that I can get through this and tell her. I can.

"He lashed out at me and pretty much broke things off. But I'm fine." She doesn't look convinced. "No, seriously, I am. I should have known that something like this would happen. It was my own fault for not expecting it."

"Madison," sympathy's dancing in her eyes.

I shake my head rapidly, grabbing the closest thing to me, a pen, and clicking it with my thumb. "Can we talk about something else?" My voice is strained and heavy with tears that I am fighting back.

"I heard your school is having a charity game tomorrow," she obliges and I'm thankful that she does. "That could be fun. Are you planning on going?"

I'm now clicking the pen against the counter. "I don't think so," I answer.

"Why not?"

"The star quarterback, Tyler, he's Archer's best friend which means Archer's guaranteed to be there. I'd rather not go somewhere where I know he'll be when I don't absolutely have to. Penny's been trying to convince me to go and obviously I can't tell her the reason why I'm so against the idea. I honestly don't know why she's so determined to go to all the games though. From what I know, she isn't friends with anyone on the team."

Penny goes to nearly all the games. I'd understand if her brother played for the team or something, but he doesn't. I know that her only two friends in school are me and Brody. I also know that she hates sports. Unless you count movie marathons as a sport.

"I think you should go," Melissa announces and I give her a perplexed look. Is she out of her mind? "I'm serious. You shouldn't have to suffer for a decision that he made. You can't miss the game just because he'll be there."

My gaze hits the floor, "it's not-" I start but she cuts me off.

"What did you come to America for?" She asks out of the blue.

"What?" I furrow my eyebrows.

"Why did you come here?"

"For the experience," I drag out, not sure why she's asking me.

"Exactly. You came for the experience. Doesn't the charity game qualify as an experience?" My mouth forms an 'o' as I start to realise what she's getting at. "You came here for this stuff. Don't miss out on it for him."

I close my eyes and allow my head to hang between my shoulders. "You're right," I admit. I shouldn't let him stop me from living. I didn't intend to fall for him, but I did, and I have to deal with that. My main goal when I decided to be part of the exchange programme was to meet new people and experience new things. Recently, I haven't been doing that simply because of him.

I'm not going to let that stop me anymore.

"Of course, I'm right," her chest puffs out with pride. "I'm always right. When have I ever been wrong?"

I sigh deeply, "thank you, I really needed that." I engulf her in a hug.

"It's what I'm here for."

We pull away and I look into her eyes. "No, really. Thank you." I hold her gaze making sure she knows that I mean every word.

There's a hell of a lot ofthings I'm thankful for that Melissa has brought into my life. This is one ofmany. I rest my head against her shoulder. "You're welcome."