Title: Compelled (Darkness Series #1) (Incomplete at time of review)

Author: @MayaRatala

Genre: Paranormal Romance

Cover: This cover is interesting and does do the story justice, but it could be darker, and more ethereal, more sinister

Title: This title does the story justice, and is interesting enough that readers will be drawn in

Blurb: This blurb is perfect for the story. It is short and concise, and intriguing enough to commit readers to finding out what is inside.

Prologue: This should be a separate post from chapter one.

First Chapter: This should be a short chapter, that resists terror, is honest, original and brave. It should have a unique voice. I feel that it does have a unique voice. The narrator voice changes from reality to disreality, and I'm not sure what this is meant to convey, because I am not sure that Mia lives in the real world. Or if she lives in the world of madness, in a mental hospital, or if she is truly beset by demons.

First chapters should be sparing of setting, and this chapter is very intense at that. There is minimal character development that lures the reader in to find out more. Cleverly done.

Summary: (This story is incomplete at the time of review)

Mia is a student, with a normal life, until something cracks. Mia seems to be having a mental breakdown. She has lost a fiancé, and is struggling with school, she has moments of reclaiming her sanity, but for the most part is slipping further and further into insanity. Her breakdown includes the fear of losing her mother, having already had her father die when she was an infant. She longs for her father, and she longs to be loved in the deepest recesses of her mind where she is fighting for her sanity.

Did I like it? Did it draw me in?

Compelled is written in a journal type of first person POV. We share the narrator's thoughts, words, feelings and deeds. What she believes is what we believe, and because it is fragmented, and twists into reality at times, and then a form of unreality, we, the readers are also fragmented. The story has a unique perspective on heaven and hell, and angels and demons. The reader is gradually let in on the narrator's experiences.

Characters: Mia is the main character and the story is all from her perspective. She is a tormented soul. It is hard to tell if her torment is the result of her recent losses, far past losses, or her fear of loss. In her dreams, she meets demons and an angel who is also a demon. Because Mia is often frightened out of her mind, and her mind is so fragmented, the reader gets the feeling that we are on this emotional rollercoaster with her. What she knows, we know, and it isn't much. Just a lot of pain and terror.

The other main character is Noah. This is the possible protagonist, who might also be a sort of antagonist. It's very subtly woven into the psychology of the story.

Feelings: I feel darkness when I read this story. There's a sense of falling, tumbling, racing toward an unknown. The story does not feel firmly rooted in the present, the past or the semi-bizarre. Who is good? Who is bad? The Dreau's are bad. But they are also surreal. They have power, they have an agenda.

Pacing: The story is almost poetic in nature. The dialogue and dialogue tags are a little stilted and forced, but in their defense, the characters are in complete terror and fear most of the time.

Spelling and Grammar:

There are places where the errors are distracting from the text. I suggest it is gone through with a grammar program like grammarly.com, or an editor. The haunting beauty of the story will not be lost by improving its aesthetics.

Suggestions: The author notes take away and distract from the suspense that is building up in the story. This story has such psychological implications I would do everything possible to preserve the integrity of it by cleaning it up, and finding the right balance between poetic and cryptic. It has the mysterious edge going for it, and is certainly terrifying. The romance between Mia and Noah is not exactly based in reality. This is very appealing, and can really carry the story. The longing we feel coming off her and him too, is really compelling.

Audience: Horror and poetry readers of all ages

Suggested genre: Research this genre: Psychological (surreal) Horror
This subgenre is usually written from a tight viewpoint. Is the protagonist really seeing terrible things, perhaps battling against human conspiracies and/or demonic possession -- or is he (less often, she) going insane? On the flip side, this subgenre can feature an insane protagonist, such as a tormented serial killer. A subtle example is John Steinbeck's short story "The Snake," which is low key, yet disturbing. A modern example is the novel Heart Shaped Box, by Joe Hill.
Surreal horror incorporates bizarre imagery, often drawn from vivid, threatening dreams. One popular example is Aberrations of Reality, by Aaron J. French.

It could also be Lovecraftian Horror. I would look it up, and get some ideas. It might help solidify your pathway!

*****

Please leave a comment so I know you read it. Remember that a review is simply my opinion and you as the creator still have all poetic license, and it will not hurt my feelings if you don't use my suggestions. It was a pleasure to review your book!