29 | AFTER

There have been tears, many tears, and a lot of sleepless nights for Nichole.

Two weeks have passed since the kidnapping incident, fourteen long and exhausting days, and still, it feels like it all happened just yesterday. Kade's death—his murder—is one thing that loves to replay itself out in Nichole's nightmares.

At the time, she hadn't been able to properly process him being killed given everything that had been happening around her. But now, in the quiet of Ademar's condo, it has had nothing but free reign to taunt her. And after waking up screaming in her sleep for the fifth night in a row, Taehyun finally suggested they see a trauma therapist.

Online reviews led them to Penelope Hastings, someone who'd later turn out to be a blessing in disguise. Their sessions with Penelope, some together and some separate, lifted weights off Nichole's shoulders that she hadn't known she'd been carrying. Taehyun felt a bit lighter these days as well. Ademar was proud of them both.

Admitting you have a problem is one thing. Taking the steps to help solve that problem, or at least to help slay the demons who whisper to you in the shadows trying to make you feel as if life isn't worth living is something else entirely. Ademar was extremely proud of his lovers, and on his own time, he'd also follow behind them to seek help.

Help that would maybe free him of the demons he thought he had already defeated.

"I think I'm ready to talk about it." Nichole sits crossed-legged in the middle of Ademar's bed, a cup of hot cocoa resting between her hands. It's what she focused her eyes on while speaking, the tiny white marshmallows slowly being eaten away by the heat.

"Are you sure?" Ademar rises to her right. Taehyun rises to her left. They both look at her with wide eyes. Both of them desperate to help her heal. "We really don't have to talk about it. Maybe a few more sessions with Penelope will—"

"I know what I want," Nichole gently cuts him off, speaking softly. "I wasn't ready then, but I'm ready now. I want to talk about it. I want to know how you were able to rescue me and Tae like that, and I... I want to know if you also had to do what I did."

Do what she did. Kill someone. The two words that she can say in her mind but not out loud. Not yet. Penelope and Nichole still have a long way to go.

"Okay." Ademar sighs, running a hand through his hair. "I should say this first—I'm sorry for lying to you both. I gave off the impression that I am a good man. The truth is that I am not. I have flaws. Many flaws. They've been with me since I was a child, and I'm not sure if I'll ever grow out of them."

Nichole finally looks up from her cup of hot cocoa. She meets Ademar's sad brown eyes, briefly, and then he tears them away from her.

"What flaws?" she asks, genuinely curious. "You're perfect to me."

Ademar chuckles, ruefully. "You flatter me, sweetheart. But I'm far from perfect. Some might even say I'm a monster. At times, I... every now and then, I question if maybe I am one."

"Addy." Taehyun frowns. The look on Ademar's face hurts him worse than when he got shot.

"Growing up, I was a rambunctious little shit," Ademar continues. "Always had more energy than I knew what to do with. It intensified as a teenager, and after my father sat me down one day to tell me the real reason why I didn't have a mother—that she had abandoned us not because she'd been sick or in trouble, but simply because she hadn't wanted children—all that energy inside me suddenly transformed into a white-hot rage. I cared less about school. Cared less about being a good role model for my baby brother. All that I wanted was to destroy. Whether it was property or people, I didn't care. I just wanted to get rid of the hurt that festered within me, by any means necessary."

"The man who kidnapped me and Tae," Nichole interjects, "he said his boss had looked into your background. Said you'd been in and out of jail for various things, and that's why they targeted you to bring them the money instead of Caty. They believed you were against the police and wouldn't get them involved due to your record. Is that true?"

"It is," Ademar says, embarrassed. "I do have a record and I didn't want to get the police involved."

Nichole passes her drink to Taehyun who then places it onto the nightstand.

"I don't care that you have a record, Addy." Nichole grabs one of his hands, staring at him despite him not looking at her. "I just need to know one thing. Your crimes... were there women involved?"

There's a lot that Nichole can take. A lot that she can handle and learn to handle. Abuse isn't one of those things. Whether it's in Ademar's past or not, she can't stomach being with a man—being with anyone—that has brought harm to a woman. Nichole barely survived Kade, and she refuses to have a repeat of that toxic relationship.

"Addy." Nichole squeezes his hand, her pulse racing. "Please tell me..."

"I'm a fucked up individual," Ademar whispers. "I'm not afraid to get violent with people. I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty. Bloody. Sometimes, in a sick and twisted kind of way, I enjoy it. But..." Ademar raises his head, meeting Nichole's gaze. "I've never raised my hand towards a woman. My crimes mostly consist of breaking and entering, disorderly conduct, and other petty shit. Despite the issues with my mother, I've never targeted women."

Nichole visibly relaxes, as does Taehyun beside her.

"You asked me earlier if I had killed at the warehouse," Ademar continues. "I did. And if you were to ask me if I regretted killing those men, my answer would be no. In my eyes, every single person in that warehouse was my enemy. Those who got in my way of rescuing you and Taehyun paid the price for it. If I had to go back to do all this again, I wouldn't change a thing. I'm sorry if that's not the answer you were hoping to receive."

"It wasn't," Nichole replies. "And I don't judge you for doing what you did. It's just... I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to forgive myself for putting you in the position where you had to... do that. Doesn't matter if you have no regrets. Blood is still on your hands because of me—"

"No," Taehyun interrupts. "You didn't put either of us in any position, Nichole. You are not at fault for what happened back then. None of us are at fault. We talked about this in therapy, remember?"

Nichole nods. "Right. Sorry."

"Addy," Taehyun speaks, looking at him with a warm smile. "Thank you for giving us the rest of your story. I don't love you any less, I promise."

"Me either," Nichole quickly adds. "Even if you are attracted to violence—and I'm joking but not really—I also don't love you any less than before."

Ademar cracks a tiny smile. "Are you sure you want to continue being in a relationship with a criminal?" he nervously asks Nichole. "I'm nothing like Kade, but we do, unfortunately, have this one thing in common."

"You just said it." Nichole returns the smile, lifting a hand to caress Ademar's face. "You're nothing like Kade. That right there is enough for me." She leans forward to kiss him. Short but sweet. "Now will you tell me how you were able to rescue us?"

"That I've been dying to know," Taehyun chuckles.

"Well, the first red flag came when I woke up alone," Ademar says. "The evening was approaching, and I hadn't heard anything from you guys, not a text or a phone call. Jumping to conclusions, I grabbed my keys and headed straight to the bakery. I couldn't think of another place that you two would've gone. I felt relieved when I pulled into the parking lot and saw Taehyun's car. Then my stomach dropped when I entered the shop and saw blood on the ground. I put two and two together after that."

"I figured you would," Taehyun says. "But how did you get all those men to come fight for us?"

"Caty," Ademar answers. "I got her number out of Nichole's cell phone. I told her what I saw and demanded she give me the address to the warehouse. No matter what, I was going to rescue you both. She tried hard to talk me out of it, claiming it was a suicide mission, but I didn't care. That's when she decided to inform me of her plan. She'd been waiting for video proof that Kade was still alive, and afterward, she was going to send a team of men to rescue him. Apparently, her point of contact stopped texting her updates on Kade. She was at an impasse until I told her that you and Taehyun were still alive. I didn't know that at the time, only felt it."

"So, Caty basically loaned you those men to help rescue us?" Nichole asks.

"Yes," Ademar replies. "She was genuinely concerned about you, and she also made me promise to save her brother as well. I had no intention of doing that, but I lied and told her I would."

Nichole is surprised but not at all shocked by Ademar's story.

The Lowrey's are a powerful family. Powerful and rich. Of course they had military connections. All it took was a simple phone call and boom—Nichole and Taehyun are blessed to see another day. Too bad the same couldn't be said for Kade.

"I wanted to kill everyone at that warehouse," Ademar continues. "But Caty had told me about the research she'd been doing, the strings she had others pull that later revealed the identity of Kade's boss—Quincy Anderson. She told me the cops have been trying to put him away for years, and that if she gave Quincy to them alive, it'd aid in getting our names omitted from the report that the department had to make. Though, I'm sure she had ulterior motives."

"Probably," Nichole adds. "She did them a favor and now they owe her family. As calculated as that family is, something tells me that her father is definitely going to become mayor."

"How did she react when you told her that Kade hadn't survived?" Taehyun asks.

"Her voice kept breaking as we spoke, but she didn't cry over the phone," Ademar says. "I told her that he had died long before I arrived. She paused, thanked me for trying, and then hung up. I haven't felt much of anything towards Kade ever since Nichole told me about how he used to treat her. But, at that moment, for just a spilt second, I felt sorry for him and his family."

A moment of silence passes, then Nichole speaks again.

"Damn. This'll be one hell of a story to tell our kids, won't it?" She repeats Taehyun's words from before, getting a laugh out of both men.

Nichole looks at her boys and smiles, her heart feeling full. Somehow, she knows they're going to be alright. They will get through this. They will continue to live and love hard. They will be alright.

Together, forever and always, they will be alright. 

. . .