Yanno when you have something this abstract and confusing as your title... You have dived headfirst into the dark consuming depths of r/iam14andthisisdeep :'D

Wow, that came out of nowhere-

But anyway, hi welcome baaaack peeps! I'm here with another art dump, as usual, just a day late this time since I've been slow with new art, to be honest (well...technically two days for me since it's past midnight here-) but ANYWAY!

I... really don't have much to add as an intro? We've done this song and dance before so many times by now it just seems kinda automatic to me at this point!

But I'll just stop rambling before I get on a tangent and move onto some art! That's why you're here-

As always, starting off with the most important stuff, things for people! 

This time it's...another contest entry xD Seems like in quarantine the only thing to do is make and join contests- not complaining tho! This one's for PumpkingxAngel's second contest, bootiful bean, you should all check them out if you haven't already (for some reason-)

The theme was "yandere"-? And since, yanno, for the last contest's entry I ironically and unintentionally drew a character murdering their love interest-- I wanted to go with something different this time!

In hindsight, it's not as unique or creative as it was in my head but hey, at least I like the art-? It's in two parts because I still suck at making comics :'D

(Can we just take a moment and appreciate the fact this is my 2 4 t h contest entry? M a n I've joined a lot, holy heckles-)

So I should probably explain what the heck's happening cuz' it might not be crystal clear-

Our boi Russia AKA Sergei here reaaaaaally likes Autumn-- One would say maybe too much :>

But Autumn's dating the shy caring bean Maple! Whatever will he do? He can't just go and kill Maple himself, no no no, Russia never gets his own hands dirty-

So he decided to use a little...trick :> He reprogrammed Andell to use to his advantage in the most ridiculously simple way... taking off her necklace! That's... legit how you make Andell do whatever you want her to do, you remove the one thing that stops her from being affected and corrupted by something...stronger

With that, in the first picture, Sergei's instructing her on what to do, pretty self-explanatory-- on the second, we get to see Andell's perspective! We're basically looking through her eyes and what she's programmed to see, obviously now her target's Maple, who she has to kill, and keep the love interest, Autumn safe and unaware-

This... is probably dark? Then again the yandere theme isn't a lighthearted one-

So now... Sergei can make his perfect communist :> Obviously this whole thing was inspired by the angst drabble you wrote, Lex, I just changed some things up, like the timeline!

My gosh, this was a lot of exposition, I'm sorry;;;

Moving on to something more lighthearted, ships!

This first one I specifically made as a gift for my bean _Shipping_Addict_! I know you've been waiting for this day...

It's Val x Rugu! Our shared ship! Well, one of em-

I will say I don't...fully like how this looks quq Definitely could've done better, I've been using lots of google images recently cuz' I can't draw-

Buuuut yea! I know, the quote's pretty cliché but I mean, they're teenagers in love, there has to be some form of cringe thrown in there, right?

They're looking at a sunset, if it's not obvious-- I know the sun lens flare makes zero sense to be put there but just leave me be man, it looks cool! quq

But yee, hope you like it!

Continuing with the ship theme, I finally drew the couple I've been meaning to make shipart of ever since I made the North group!

Just... just take it-

Zicah!

Still practicing perspectives, don't mind me-

Yes, Zander does have a cat face and yes, he is being undeniably adorable, at least Micah thinks so-

This was probably one of their first times just chilling at Micah's place instead of going on an actual date-- but ahhhh don't mind me just completely geeking out about this ship quq

And the third shipart I made! Look I'm just lonely, I need to think about love someway-

But this is technically the actual version of the smol nuzzle shipart I made on top of Dog!Topaz's reference!

I'll be honest... I like the doodle better xD I didn't even try on that one but the faces look cuter there--I dunno how to feel about this version-

(Can someone explain to me why there's no heart brush but three star brushes in FireAlpaca? I downloaded a custom heart brush and then accidentally deleted it, aCK-)

But eeeeeee lookit the cuties! I'm just a sucker for animals liking each other, man-

I could've done better with this--especially the tail-wagging, I'll admit, but I was tired quq

Before we move onto some serious art stuff, Imma just... dump this quick thing here-

Ever wonder how the shades of the Fairy Houses work? Well turns out, it's pretty damn confusing! :D

But hopefully this'll help?

So, this is just a guide on for example, how green you can go before you get to Lime, how purple you can go before you get to Purple, etc, etc-

The 'main colors' are just the most common shades for each House, to be honest--

Now obviously I didn't include every single shade since that's impossible, and obviously, these shades are all pretty saturated! This is again only just here to show the borders, Fairy wings can be much darker or much lighter, much less saturated or faded than these ones!

So, I just thought it'd be nice to clear up in case anybody would accidentally go with a color that's a different House than what they intended? I just went out on a whim when I made this, so it might not be perfect

Don't ask why red is classified as Gold and not Pink...I have no clue quq;;;

Now let's jump into some more...redraws! I dunno man, I've just been getting tired of some of the covers I had for my books and thought it would be time for a change-up!

I did this picture first, I still love the concept of this one, plus I need to do more with Cipher! 

Hate the style, like the colors tho quq I just wanna know why his skin is green-

Soooo I went ahead and redrew it! In a lineless style again, they're getting more and more fun to do!

I won't deny, I'm... really happy with this quq I dunno how I made it look so crisp but damn am I proud-

This time, I made the paint actually look like paint, oh yeah and the scarf! That's something I kept from Kai's redesign, who I don't wanna tag cuz' I'm too scared I bother people hsdjhskjghksj-

But, yeah! Spoilers, this is actually the only piece of art I'm proud of in this chapter quq

And, the second redesign I did!

Anyone remember this... hot garbage? I'm sure you do, it's been the cover of my redesign book for the longest time-- not anymore! :D

E w, it's killing my eyes

Eh... here's the redraw quq

Fun fact; this drawing took me six hours while the Cipher one only took me two, yet I like that one so much better than this one-

Couldn't do the swooshy hair anymore, I don't have it quq I did keep the robot body tho! It was too fun to do-

The background was...tedious, honestly, the only thing I enjoyed doing in this drawing was the hair and the body-

But yea, I see lots of improvement! Plus it's less crammed so my eyes can actually process it, yaaaay!

I...just realized I didn't color the teeth in, OH WELL-

Alright now that we've seen my "accomplishments", Imma dive into something a lot more... dark, basically the source of the title-

I've had this...what can I call this, flaw-? Which has been bugging me for years now but specifically this year, it really started kicking in

I mean it was always obvious to me that envy was and still is my biggest deadly sin, no question about it

Ahmmm... I guess, just, welcome?

You can count this as the one piece of vent art in this art dump-- honestly, I was doing so good quq;;;

This is... Elias. Yes I gave him a name, I know it's weird-- basically the personification of my envy. Oh, also a new sona-- I know I already have Mimic, Scares, Echo and Doubt--but he's just... a big part of me, yanno?

He's like this cliché villain that just won't leave me alone. Whenever I see someone's beautiful content (most often artwork), he just... appears and starts telling me things I don't want to do

He's just a mild annoyance. A flaw. A flaw I can get through and improve from! But when I get envious, I get mad, and afterwards I just fall into this train of thought that leads me to a breakdown

I've been getting better, no worries! I just feel like, for me, it's a much easier way to deal with this flaw of mine by reducing it to just... a fictional character. A villain. It's like a coping mechanism, I guess? That's what I did for my Mood, Procrastination, and Doubt-- why can't I do the same with my Envy?

So, I guess he's joining the sona family-- I seriously need to redesign the rest of them, they're all animals and I'm not a fan quq

Oh, here's a clear picture of him-

By the way, I had this really cool glitching animation I saved that I made with the same website I made the first image's edit with, and I wanted to show you--

But the file's too big for Wattpad qnq All my hopes and dreams are crushed-

BUT I'm using this kinda deep theme to segue to something lighter, something to...lift the mood up and help others!

I've really wanted to make something... I dunno the word, inspirational? Motivating? Just, something that could help bring a smile to anybody's face?

So...take this uvu

I'm tagging forceRayz just because of how much I love them, but this is for anybody, and I really mean it when I say that!

Whether you're a close or old friend, a person whose content I started following recently or a complete stranger, you are all worth it, and Nala wants you to know that he believes in you, in what you make, in what you do, what you create, just... who you are

So, remember that if you're feeling unmotivated to do things, or can't find any inspiration, maybe you don't feel good about yourself as a person, just... take things at your own pace. Learn and grow through the tough parts of life so you can, in the end, create something better! 

Don't dwell too much on the past unless it's for nostalgic purposes, don't stress about what the future will hold, focus on where you are now! The present!

Because I am so, so happy that you're here right now. I'm so happy that you're alive, breathing, you've accomplished so much so far. I know sometimes even getting out of bed can be hard but the fact you do it every single day just shows how strong you are. All of you.

And Nala thinks--no, he knows you're worth it.

That was just... something I wanted to get out of the way! I hope it brought at least someone's day up? quq In the end, I'm not doing this to look good but to help people! To help you guys! Because you all mean so, so much to me!

Ahm, sorry--I know this is an artbook but sometimes, you kinda need a lift, yanno? A little push to success and happiness! 

I'll stop rambling and get back to art now quq

Now we move onto the last bit for today...basically focusing on my boi Topaz! 

I'm not showing the point of these pictures yet, that'll come at the end!

Anyhoo, these are all just quick edits of one body I drew for Topaz-

Maybe some of you know, but Topaz is... pretty friggin ripped-- I just never knew how to draw muscles xD

And one day I finally went "screw it!" and decided to tackle my fears and look at a reference, before an actually built body was drawn!

Okay I'm kinda proud even tho I was just basing it off of some drawings xD

You can't really see it in this edit but the last one (which is technically the original one) I'll show... oh boi uvu

This is basically current Topaz! He's 20, has two husbands and a boyfriend, still working at the blacksmith (for now), still cocky and horny as usual-

This isn't even a redesign, I legit changed nothing, I just drew this to show his body type xD

Speaking of that, here's the second edit I made!

This is younger Topaz! He's 18, a bit shyer, a little easily flustered, doesn't really know how to communicate his feelings yet-

This was the time he was hardcore crushing on Zands and later confessed to him uvu Oh yeah! I remember the outfit was made by Lex too! It was a redesign but I decided to use it for his younger self!

Oh... how things change in two years xD

And now lastly, the original drawing I did which led me to do these other two edits, an idea inspired by a... holiday?

Which is national horny day, AKA April 16th, AKA Topaz's birthday because I'm shallow :D

So yes, I did, in fact, draw this on that day, for that day!

Just... I'm still a noob when it comes to muscles, don't kill me please xD

But uhhh yeah! He's a Pink Fairy here, confused? Add and I had the idea of... what if, this kinky son of a bastard turned himself temporarily into a Pink Fairy? Because fun fact, when a Fairy changes into a Pink one, they start seeing things in the same kinda hazy lustful vision Pink Fairies do!

And with a little concentration and practice, my boi did it! For the record only so he can mess with Zands and...do stuff :>

And then I made the reaction of everyone else into a shitpost because I GOTTA END THEM ALL OFF ON A SHITPOST

I made it into a gif cuz' I felt unnaturally productive today xD

This is so bad yet so good, what the hell xD

Yes, Zander fainted, I mean Topaz is shirtless here-

Duvet's over there, doing the Lenny face, she obviously approves =v=

And then Milu's just done with life, she told her dad not to do it, not to turn into a damn Pink Fairy but he did it anyway-- so Noka's trying to hold her down here!

Honestly... what even is this chapter-- it's just an emotional trainwreck, from normal to vent to motivating to shitposty, it's clear I dunno how to pace stuff xD

But yea, that's all! Damn this is a suuuper long chapter, geezus-

Random emoji of the day;

٩꒰ ˘ ³˘꒱۶ⒽⓤⒼ♥♡̷♡̷

--If you want to use my drawings for a profile picture, background, book cover, etc. please credit me somewhere visible for others to see!--

--Please do not trace mine or anybody's artwork without permission or proper credit. Using my art as inspiration or referencing is completely fine!--

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PFP requests: CLOSED PROBABLY FOREVER

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