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6. New Definitions

Anurag's woke up with a magnanimous headache and to an unfamiliar ceiling. He sat up, confused for a while, looking bewildered at the one bedroom apartment he found himself in, until someone walked into his room, holding a mug of what he assumed was coffee. He frowned looking at Snigdha smiling at him.

"Coffee. It will help with the headache", she ushered the mug in front of him, and his frown deepened.

"How am I here?", his voice came out raspy as he held the mug. Snigdha sat on the bean bag, in front of him, and looked conflicted.

"I, walked into the office in the morning, and found you, umm, drunk out of your senses, and I thought it would not be good if your employees found you in that condition, and I didn't know your address, so I brought you home", she clarified, her heart thumping against her chest, for no matter what, he was her boss and she was a mere employee who took decisions on his behalf, without knowing if he would approve.

Anurag was mortified, embarrassment creeped into his eyes as he lowered his head. Events from last night came rushing back to him and he winced, as if those memories hurt him physically.

"Sir, are you okay?", Snigdha was up on her feet, rushing to him.

"Ye-ah, Yes. I am sorry", he coughed, "for all the trouble", he managed to look up at her, his eyes reflecting gratitude, "I don't know what was wrong with me", he shook his head, disappointed in himself.

"It is okay Sir. Pain, is what is wrong with you", she answered, and saw his eyes jerk up to meet hers.

"Hurt changes us in ways we can't comprehed, Sir. And I am sorry but you might have been blabbering in sleep and I might have heard somethings. Whoever this is, Prerna, if I am right, who broke your heart, gifted you so much pain and how you deal with it is not something anyone should judge", Snigdha spoke with a comforting smile, and gestured him ti drink the coffee, before she began searching her cupboard for an advil.

There was silence for quite a few minutes, in which she managed to find the medication and made him have it. She was keeping the packet back when his voice interrupted the otherwise heavy silence.

"But I have been told that I am hurting people, through my ways of tackling my hurt. I made my family suffer because of my incapability to see through someone's actions because I was too preoccupied with myself", Anurag found himself revealing it to her and watched her turn and walk back to him. The other perspective she was offering, he found it refreshing. And it also made him realise how he had, had no one to talk to about his feelings. Of course he had his family, but they were too busy either hating Prerna for her actions, or dealing with Bajaj's aftermath in the business to spare him a glance.

"Sir, I might not know a lot about familes, but life has taught me that once in a while, making yourself a priority doesn't hurt. If you have loved her with all your heart, her loss is bound to affect you. You can cry out in pain, you can drink yourself to oblivion, you can do whatever to soothe you, but you also must remember that all these are temporary. You can't live with these measures", Snigdha explained as Anurag looked at her with so much attention and innocence that it moved her to bits.

All she saw was how lonely he had been all this while, that a stranger's words were comforting him.

"Why did, Prerna, leave?", Snigdha asked, not sure she should, but the curiosity got the best out of her.

"I don't know", Anurag exhaled deeply, and lowered his eyes, "She married someone else, on the day we were supposed to get married".

Snigdha gasped out loud at the information and looked at him with wide eyes, but Anurag was already lost, deep inside those haunting memory lanes.

"She married my arc enemy in business, without giving me a reason. I wanted to believe that she was a gold digger, but my heart knows she isn't. She is my Prerna, the most simple and adorable woman I have ever met, the woman who taught me to love, the woman who talked about fairy tales and Prince charmings, the woman whose brightest smiles used to be at my sight. I don't know what went wrong, maybe I did something to push her away, maybe I wasn't good enough.... ", Anurag trailed off but was surprised to find a soft hand holding his hand tightly.

" Look at me, Sir. Look at me. Who am I? A stranger. Someone who has been working in your office for a week, and I already know you are enough for anyone. A beloved is a great and beautiful part of our life Sir, but it's not our life per se. You are so important to so many people - your family, your employees, your friends - they love you because of who you are. Prerna loved you for who you are. Now I don't know why she did what she did, but I am sure it wasn't because you aren't enough", Snigdha's words were like a balm on his throbbing wound. He was falling into a spiral of hating himself because of what Prerna did and what Prerna said, but Snigdha's words were like a outstretched hand pulling him up from that spiral.

He found himself smiling to her, in acknowledgement of her words. She smiled back.

"I know the loss of loosing someone you loved so much is huge. But don't bottle it inside, keep talking it out, family, friends, anyone, okay?", Snigdha patted his hand and stood up, walking upto her kitchen, hoping to fix him something to eat, leaving behind him in deep thoughts.

Family? Could he ever talk about Prerna to them? They hated Prerna with a passion, more now than before and even Anupam didn't favor her anymore. The only person he could think about opening upto was his baba, but he could not stress him out now, could he?

And friends? He didn't have any left. He remembered Siddharth, but he had left Kolkata a while back, and Anurag's world had been revolving only around Prerna so bad that he hadn't cared to reach out even.

He felt hollow, at those thoughts. How do you have so many people in your life and still feel so empty?

"Sandwiches", Snigdha walked back in with a plate and forwarded him food, "That's all I could fix now! Would You like to have lunch?", she asked, looking at the clock that striked four in the evening.

Anurag looked at her, and shook his head, accepting the plate of sandwiches. Snigdha made herself busy in tidying up the room, but his voice made her stop in her tracks.

" I don't have friends, not anymore", he spoke in a little voice, and that told her he had been thinking about her words.

Snigdha looked at the broken lover sitting in front of her, someone who had loved this woman so bad that he had forgotten to keep some love for himself. He looked so scared and alone, that it tugged her heart. She didn't realise when she had walked upto him and stretched her hand.

"I have been told I am an amazing friend. So friends?"

--------

Prerna woke up to an empty room. She rubbed her eyes and looked at the table clock to see it was over ten in the morning. She sat up with a jerk, looking around but the duvet on the couch was folded properly and kept aside. There was no sign of Mr. Bajaj.

Prerna moved to the washroom and freshened up first. A hot shower calmed her down in so many ways, and relieved the knots in her shoulders. Draping her saree properly, she looked herself in the mirror and found a bit of her cheeks popping. She was gaining weight.

"Mumma is gaining weight, see baby. I hope you are doing well too", she smiled, talking to her baby and was putting on her accessories, when her door flunged open and Kuki came running in, and wrapped herself around her legs.

"Kuki? Good morning!", Prerna wished her and the little girl smiled at her, wishing her back, but her smile soon wilted as she signalled Prerna about how she was bored in this house.

Prerna ruffled her head, and thought about visiting her maternal home, meeting her mother and receiving the love had made her greedy. She walked down with Kuki, ate her breakfast and medications and informed Maasi who nodded at an excitex Kuki, and they left for her home.

Shivani opened the door to a grinning Prerna and excited Kuki.

"Priyu di?", Shivani hugged her sister and giggled at her surprised expression, aware of little Kuki who was holding her saree tightly, scared. They walked inside, and Veena and Suman came out hearing her voice.

Shivani sat on her knees and opened her arm for Kuki. She resented her father, no doubt, but the adorable little girl was not to be blamed. The house was filled with all kinds of chatter as Veena began making Prerna's favourite food, and Shivani played with Kuki, tickling her. Mahesh was in college and Shekhar had been to work.

When Suman found Prerna alone for two minutes, she came and sat by her side, and held her hands, perplexing her.

"Prerna, I have been wanting to thank you, and say sorry too, I hope you accept both", Suman confessed, bewildering Prerna who had no idea of what her sister in law was speaking.

"Bhabhi?", she turned to her, unable to grasp the context.

"I know I have mostly been bitter to you, and sometimes to Shivani, cribbing about money and expenditure, but Prerna, I have always thought in the best interest of this house, collectively. I might come off as mean, but I do love all of you. But time and again, I have failed to trust you, and balmed you for forgetting about us", Suman's eyes were downcast, while Prerna was still as confused as before.

"While I am sincerely sorry about my behaviour, I wanted to thank you for securing Shekhar's job and this big a promotion. I think he hadn't realised it yet and it would be better if he doesn't, but recently he was promoted as the senior manager. He was given a 70% hike in the salary too, along with the promotion. And I googled and realised his company had been taken over by Mr. Bajaj a while back, I think it was him behind his promotion. But of course you would know because I believe he did it at your insistence. Thank you Prerna, Now Maa won't need to work. Even Mahesh got a job during his campus placement, and Shivani had been doing work from home for an analytical company too. I think all the three had either been Mr. Bajaj's doings or his recommendations, but anyway, I am glad. They all deserved this, and we can finally look beyond the financial struggle. We have been planning to buy a HD TV you know?", Suman gushed, unaware of the surprised Prerna who didn't know how to react to the information.

Knowing how Mr. Bajaj had tried to help his mother before, and without coming in front at that it was very possible that he had done all this to help her family without letting anyone know. Prerna looked at the happy faces of all her family members and couldn't help but smile back.

She was certain she didn't need favours from Rishabh, and she was certainly going to question him about his intentions, but she also ought to thank him for thinking so much about her family. She did, didn't she?

--------

Rishabh came back home, extremely tired. It was almost nine, and to say he was early than his usual, but he needed to see Kuki and spend some time with his daughter, and regain some of his sanity back. Even in his most distress, not a word about which he ever spoke aloud, Kuki's smile and warmth was his go to comfort. If there was one person whose love Rishabh didn't doubt, it was his little daughter. She seemed to have some magic which would make his frown lines disappear on their own.

But to his utter disappointment, Kuki wasn't home and Tanvi informed him she was out with Prerna, at her house. Now Rishabh didn't mind Kuki spending time with Prerna or her family at all, but he needed to see Kuki once through the day at the least, for the sake of his own anxiety. It unsettled him, even one night if she spend away from her.

So when Prerna called him to inform they were staying the night, Rishabh found himself requesting them to come back.

"But Mr. Bajaj its late", Prerna complained, looking at the clock. Rishabh pinched his nose and closed his eyes.

"Look Pre-, I mean Mrs. Bajaj, I don't mind you staying back if that makes you happy but I need my daughter. I will come pick her up if needed, would that be okay?", Rishabh's tone was anxious, and he didn't care how he was putting his demand or what Prerna was making of it. He needed to see his lifeline, period.

Prerna grumpily disconnected the phone, informing him they would be home soon. Twenty minutes later Kuki was running into her room, straight into her waiting father's arms. Rishabh immediately hugged her tight, seeking comfort in her warmth as she rubbed his back.

Now Kuki was a really sensible and emotionally mature child for a six year old. Though she could not express, she was herself fretting to come back home, into the arms of her father dearest whom she knew would be waiting. She treated her father with so much tender love, and she felt pride in the fact that it was always her that her father seeked, every day.

Before Prerna, Rishabh used to come home much earlier, just to be there with Kuki. He would help her do the homework, talk with her in their personal sigh language and put her to sleep by cuddling her as long as she wanted, even if that meant extra working hours at night. And Kuki had always appreciated his efforts, in a way no one in his life ever did.

Even now, Prerna smiled when she saw Kuki kiss her father's forhead before jumping into the bed, asking him to snuggle.

Prerna left for her room, giving them some lone time, but at the same time, she didn't forget the annoyance she felt for Mr. Bajaj forcing her to come back so late.

When Rishabh entered, she scowled at him and fired her questions, angry hands crossed against her chest.

"So you brought me here for Kuki, but you don't trust me enough to let her spend a night away? How is that even fair Mr. Bajaj? Don't you have a bit trust in my love for Kuki, or my capabilities to handle her?", she frowned and questioned him, wanting an immediate answer.

Rishabh raised his eyes and gave her a look before averting his eyes. More than Prerna, he was aware that her irritation and her annoyed behaviour were part of her mood swings, and she could not control it.

"It isn't about the trust Pre-, Mrs. Bajaj", he answered, not meeting her eyes.

But when Prerna didn't calm down, and kept blaming him for not trusting her, and doubting her and her family, he lost his cool.

"Everything in the world isn't about you Prerna, every thing I do isn't related to you. I wanted to see my daughter, how hard is that to understand? I can't sleep without meeting her, she is the only speck of love and comfort in my life. I need her, why is that difficult to understand now?", he gritted his teeth but tried his best to keep his volume low, and not scare Prerna. Picking up his night clothes, he moved away to the washroom to cool down, leaving behind a guilty Prerna.

Prerna stood still, her eyes lingering towards the washroom, and only one question bugged her mind. She could never forgive Mr. Bajaj for putting her in the situation he did, but was she wrong in labelling him the devil he wasn't?

Was she?

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