Hola it is Alberto siganagua here and here is my life story:

As I was canoeing The eastern part of the Columbian river I find this golden cup it has some ancient writing on it as a wipe off the cup it says drink here as I drink the water inside of the golden cup I feel tingly like if I was pleasured and Hurt at the same time it was a feeling I could not describe after that small predicament it's give me this horrible accent which makes me sound like I am Russian but as you all know I am Colombian. After that I go to Colombia to see if I can be cured but there they tell me that they don't allow Russians so I leave in shame and I go to Florida to get help and here being my story in Florida