𖥻 chapter one
"theory; love & dedication"

꒰💭꒱

how far can someone reach for love?

well, it somehow depends on the one's perspective, and how deeply in love can they fall and be. for other's, it is committing suicide that shows their vulnerable side of being alone, as well as how afraid they are of leading a life without their loved ones by their side.

others can walk miles for miles, can take plane rides over the atlantic and pacific, can walk across the great wall of china and even climb at the top of himalayas, just for their loved ones to come back.

then others can take it the lighter way, let's put them in the category of...not completely being in love, of not truly caring and believing in it. they may have their heart broken the first day, and the very next they look as if all of it was a game, was nothing but pure lies. love was never a part of their oh so sweet life besides.

people like them love to flirt with the jealousy or the alcohol, no in between. they either hook up at the club with an absolute stranger, just to see the nasty feeling dancing in the other's eyes, what used to be their lover. or, they may think that choking their sadness and heartbreak into a glass of alcohol will most probably erase all the painful memories, which is just a silly illusion of the human being.

in reality, does it matter how far can someone reach for love? do actions really count? does it really matter whether you end your life or accept the pain and go along with it?

there is this one, small category, that only a few lucky ones are part of, one category that is unique enough to not be taken into consideration.

people who look absolutely fine, those whose smile is brighter than any of the celestial bodies in the whole wide universe. but look in their eyes and examine them, take every single one detail in. I know, pretty much it sounds funny or even weird, but how do you want it? it's the only way you'll realise why these people are so much unique.

now, focus. look at this girl sitting on the cafe across your point. she looks absolutely normal, with her two close friends sharing stories, her attentively listening and laughing along with them in unison, their quiet laughs coming like music into everyone's ears.

oh, this is kang mia by the way, and she broke up with her boyfriend some months ago. wait, you didn't notice? but I told you to have a closer look at her eyes-wait, she's wearing glasses.

well, how about her actions, clumsy in all honesty. how she poured salt instead of sugar into her coffee, how all the saltiness made her cry instead of scrunching up her nose in disgust.

oh, how you should have imagined the way she felt so relieved when the two single tears paved their ways down her naturally blushing cheeks, but how the bitterness in the liquid could not be compared to the one in her heart.

a small reminder, kang mia broke up, but nothing in her attitude could lead to such an assumption. no, kang mia loved her boyfriend dearly much, there's not doubt in it!

but, maybe, is she a part of this oh so special category we want to study? maybe, but you never know what really goes on inside this girl's mind.

paris; it is known to be the city of love, the city where you can actually experience anything, and a place where a couple can experience pure love, in an innocent and not so form.

but for kang mia, paris means sorrow, pain, the very last place she wanted to visit, but she surprisingly stayed. oh yes, she did stay, but not because she likes torturing herself. just because, no such place will make her feel the way she felt back then, the way she feels every day. and even if he's not here, she can still feel it...

love...

─ paris, 30/09/20