AN: please read chapter 47 before you read this chapter.

many tears were shed <3

good luck

~Alex

●●●●●

Aurora's P.O.V

I take a sip of my tea, resting my elbows on the counter of Harry's kitchen island while my feet dangle above the floor as I sit in a chair. I hear the door to his bedroom open and the shuffling of his feet coming down the hallway, keeping my back turned to him as he makes his way into the kitchen.

"Did I add enough milk?" He asks me softly, standing beside me as he runs his hand down my back.

I turn my head to look up at him, letting a small smile grace my lips, "The perfect amount. Thank you."

Clocking the tear stains on his cheeks and swollen eyes, my smile quickly fades and is replaced with a look of worry. My eyes travel over his body, noticing how thin he looks as he stands there in only a t-shirt and sweatpants, his curls still wet as they cling to his forehead and sides of his face.

"Harry... what's wrong?" My hand reaches out to touch his arm, furrowing my eyebrows together once he draws away from me.

"Nothing. 'M fine," he mumbles while sending me a shaky smile, his words not convincing me for a second.

As he goes to step away from me I grab onto his hand and pull him back to my side, standing up from my chair and pushing his curls away from his face, "You're not fine. Why have you been crying?"

He closes his eyes, drawing in a shaky breath through his lips as a single tear leaves a trail down his cheek. I quickly wipe it away with the pad of my thumb, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to his lips.

As soon as I pull away, he rests his hand on the back of my neck and pulls me back into him, placing his other hand on the other side of my face. My knees go weak and I clutch onto his shirt, sighing in contentment at the feeling of his lips on mine after going five days without the feeling of ecstasy coursing through my veins.

Every reason I have to be mad at him flies out the window for the time being and I completely crumble in his arms. My lower back hits the kitchen island as he presses me up against it, moving my hands from his shirt to his soaking wet curls, feeling a shiver run down my spine while his hands caress my skin.

He pulls away, backing away from me and shaking his head, "I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry. You're- You're mad and we need to talk-"

"Harry," I cut him off, stepping forward to tug him back into me by his shirt. His eyes frantically search mine as they well up with tears, the look of panic and sadness evident in his viridescent irises, "Calm down and tell me what's wrong. I know you're not fine. You look like you've barely eaten these past five days and your eyes are telling me a completely different story."

Taking his hands in mine, I run my thumbs across his skin while looking up into his eyes, silently letting him know it's okay to tell me what's on his mind. He takes a deep breath, briefly looking away from me before meeting my eyes again.

"Do you still love Niall?" He asks, a single tear sliding down his cheek. "When you saw him again... did you feel those same feelings you used to feel when you were together?"

I bite my bottom lip, wiping away his tear and letting my hand caress his cheek, "No. I still love him, but it's more of a friendly type of love. It's nothing compared to how much I love you."

"You don't- you don't love him in that way?"

"No," I shake my head. "Why did you want me to see if I'm still in love with him?"

"I just..." he trails off, looking away from me and closing his eyes, "I just thought that maybe you'd be happier with him. I thought that maybe if you saw him again, you'd realize you're happier with him than you are with me."

A tear slips from my eye and I rise onto my tiptoes to kiss his cheek, "Nobody makes me as happy as you do, Harry."

He shakes his head, taking a step away and turning his back to me, "Aurora, that's not true. The happiness in your eyes... it's gone. You're not happy."

"But I am," I try to reassure him.

Am I?

Running his hands through his hair, a broken sob escapes his lips and causes my blood to run cold, the noise piercing me deep in my heart. I instantly reach out to touch him, my fingertips barely grazing the fabric of his shirt before he flinches away.

"Harry, please believe me when I say you make me happy," I whisper softly, trying to convince both him and myself.

Because even though I know he makes me happy, it feels like maybe he only makes me happy when we're having our good moments. During those few moments when both of us are smiling, I'm genuinely happy. But when I'm alone or something goes wrong, that happiness fades away... completely away.

My stomach drops as another sob fills the tension-filled air, his shoulders shaking as his entire body trembles. Another tear escapes from my eye and I try to touch him again, reaching out to run my fingertips across the back of his neck.

"Please... don't touch me, Aurora," his voice trembles as he steps away from my touch again.

"Harry. Tell me what's wrong, baby. Why are you crying?"

Silence settles around us, only being broken by his occasional hiccups and quiet sobs. Everything inside of me is screaming at me to comfort him, wanting nothing more than to wrap my arms around him.

Taking a deep breath, I pick up my tea from its place on the counter and take a sip, trying to calm myself down by letting the rich flavor settle itself on my tongue. Harry's tea remains untouched, my eyes looking away from my cup to his back.

My entire body is filled with tension as I wait for him to say something, not knowing if his silence is a good or bad thing.

"Harry-" I start but quickly get cut off.

"I don’t think I can do this anymore— be with you. We should end it."

The cup falls from my hands, landing on the floor and shattering into a million pieces as the lukewarm liquid spreads across the floor. My heart follows not long after the descent of the cup, lingering with the broken pieces of glass.

"What?" My voice is barely above a whisper.

He instantly spins on his heel, looking at me before looking down at the mess on the floor, "Christ, Aurora. Don't- Don't move."

My eyes follow him, my vision blurry as I watch him dash around the kitchen before returning with a pan and broom. I stand there speechless as he cleans up the broken pieces of glass on the floor, ignoring the shattered pieces of my heart.

"Harry," I whisper, tears now spilling from my eyes as he empties the glass into the trashcan. "Harry, look at me. What- What do you mean we should end it?"

He remains quiet with his back turned to me, his shoulders moving up and down as he takes in a staggered breath, "I can't stay with you. You can't stay with me."

"No," my voice cracks, disbelief filling every crevice of my mind while my feet carry me over to him. "No. No, Harry."

"Aurora, just listen to me-"

"I'm not leaving you. I won't let you leave me. No, Harry. Don't tell me we should end it."

A hiccup escapes my lips and he turns around to look at me, instantly looking away and biting his lip as an endless amount of tears spill from his eyes. I reach out to touch him, hoping deep down he'd let my fingers graze his skin, only to shatter even more as he takes a step back.

His bottom lip trembles as he takes a deep breath, running his hands through his hair, "I have to leave you, Flower."

I cringe as the name falls from his lips, only causing more pain and heartbreak to blossom inside of me. His eyes flicker over my face before he quickly averts them elsewhere, "Look at me, Harry," I beg him.

"I can't," he shakes his head as a sob tumbles from his lips. "I can't look at you or I won't be able to say what I need to say."

"Then don't. Don't say it. Don't leave me," I take his hand in mine and bring it up to my cheek, feeling how hard he's shaking as another sob tears through his body.

"Aurora, please, stop," he shakes his head as he gently takes his hand out of mine and away from my cheek, the loss of touch practically making my knees buckle and a broken whine to leave my lips. "Oh, Christ. Fuck, I don't think I can do this," Harry breathes out as he squeezes his eyes shut.

My hands reach out to clutch onto his shirt, desperately pulling him against me. I bury my head into his chest, letting a sob escape me as he runs his hands through my hair, "I don't understand, Harry. Why are you leaving me?"

His body shakes and trembles underneath my touch, his hands running down my back as he buries his face into my hair, "I want you to live, Aurora... not just survive. I want you to be happy. I want that sadness that has clouded your eyes these past couple of months to completely disappear. And if you stay with me, that's never going to happen."

"I am living, Harry. I'm living because I'm with you. And the sadness... the sadness is only temporary. We can work through this like we always do. Please, let's just talk this out. You don't have to do this," My voice wavers with each word I speak, not believing half of what I'm saying.

"We can't work it out this time, Rora. I keep fucking up and I'm sick and tired of hurting you-"

"You're hurting me right now," I sniffle as I pick my head up from his chest, looking up into his heartbroken eyes. "If you leave me, you're going to break me, Harry."

He tilts his head back, looking up at the ceiling as he lets out a shaky breath, his fingers digging into my skin, "You think that now. But a couple of months from now, you're going to be happy again without me there to hold you back. I'm not what you need right now."

"What do you mean you're not what I need right now? You're everything I need," I reach up to clasp his jaw in my hand, pulling his head down to look at me. "I love you. Please, don't do this."

"Aurora, I'm not a good person. I'm broken. I'm drowning and I don't want to pull you down with me. You deserve so much more and I don't want you to get dragged down with me while I'm trying to fix myself. Because I'm not going to get better anytime soon. I don't want you to whither out and die. I want you to bloom."

Frantically shaking my head, I squeeze my eyes closed and feel tears escape from the corners of my eyes. Harry's hands come up to wipe away my tears, his lips brushing over my cheeks as his tears fall onto my skin, "I love you, Aurora. I'm doing this because I love you. But I can't love you when I don't love myself. You deserve someone who can give you all the happiness in the world, and that's not me."

I can't love you.

And although there were words that followed after that and he had just told me he loves me, my brain can't help but to focus mainly on those four words. Because that's something you never want to hear. Whether or not there are words that follow after to reassure you that's not what they mean.

"I don't care if you drag me down into the deepest depths of the ocean, Harry. I don't care, as long as I'm right there by your side. We can work through this together. I'll whither out and die as long as it means I get to do it by your side," I whisper as I look into his eyes, watching as a desperate sadness fills them. "I don't care. I don't care as long as I'm with you."

His hands run through my hair as a heartbreaking smile tugs at his lips, "I care, baby. I care."

"Please," I beg him.

"You told me that if I ever told you to leave, you would," he whispers. "Leave, Aurora. Leave me and don't look back. I'm not someone who deserves it. Go and grow without me."

"And you told me I'd stay with you forever."

My knees begin to give out on me while my entire body shakes with heartbreak and despair. Another sob falls from Harry's lips and taints the air, his own knees giving out on him as we collapse onto the floor together, both of us on our knees as we cling to each other.

I keep my head buried against his chest while he rests his cheek on the top of my head, my tears staining his shirt. The cold metal of his ring on my finger and the warmth of his touch is the only thing keeping me from completely losing it, grasping onto those two things to keep me grounded.

"I don't want to grow without you. Let me help you and we can grow together. I don't care how long it takes, just let me be with you," I tell him, feeling as he takes in a deep breath while it feels like I can't breathe at all.

Ring-covered hands run through my hair and down my spine, warm breath stirring my hair as wet tears leave streaks down my face. Indescribable pain courses through every vein in my body, knowing that this may be the last time I'm ever in his arms.

The last time I ever feel the rapid beat of his heart against his chest.

The last time I smell his jasmine scent that I call home.

The last time I feel his lips press themselves to the crown of my head.

The last time he'll call me Flower.

The last time I get to call him my Capolavoro.

"That's not what I want for you, Flower," his voice shakes and trembles while his heart stutters inside of his chest. "Please, don't make this harder for me and leave me."

"Like it's not hard for me, too?" I pull away from him. "You're breaking my fucking heart and it feels like I can't breathe. I can't leave you because I love you. I love you with everything in me, Harry. I can't just get up and leave you because if I do that, I'm going to hate myself for giving up on you so easily."

"You're not giving up on me, baby. Please don't think that way," he caresses my cheek in the palm of his hand, wiping away my tears with the pad of his thumb.

A shaky sigh leaves my lips as I revel in the warmth of his touch, clinging onto every last detail of him. The crease in between his brows. The way his curls frame his face so perfectly. His freckles that dot themselves across his skin like constellations. Just everything about him. Everything that will piece him together perfectly in my mind for when it feels like I've forgotten what he looks like.

"It feels like I am. It feels like you're giving up on us," I point out.

"In a way, I am. But I'm not giving up on you. I'm giving up on myself. I'm letting go of my selfish hold on you. I've been selfish for putting you through all of this and draining you of the happiness you deserve."

"You deserve happiness, too. Why can't you see that?"

"Why can't you see that I'm draining you of your happiness?" He counters, removing his hand from my face.

I shake my head while rising to my feet, staring down at him as he stares up at me, "Honestly, I don't give a fuck about my happiness. What I do give a fuck about is you. Fuck my happiness. I'll give you every last ounce of my happiness if it means you'll stay with me."

He hangs his head down, resting his hands on his thighs, "That's why I have to leave, Aurora. You'd risk your own fucking mental health just for me. That's not how a relationship needs to work."

"I'd risk anything for you, Harry. Because I love you. That's what a person in love does. They risk anything and everything for the person they love," I crouch down beside him, placing my hands on either side of his face to get him to look at me.

"But not your mental health, Aurora," he looks at me with big eyes, tears creating an ocean filled with sadness. "I'm not going to feed off of your own happiness in hopes it makes me better. I can't be with you if I want to get better. If I someday want to become the man that you need in your life."

I rest my forehead against his, looking deep into his eyes while I run my fingers through his hair, "Harry, I need you in my life. Broken or not broken. I need you like the air I breathe because when you're gone, it feels like I'm fucking drowning. You're the light in my life. You're my Paris in the rain."

He closes the distance between us by placing his lips on mine, threading his fingers through my hair as he pulls me down into his lap.

Tears mingle with tears. Quiet, muffled sobs fall onto each other's lips. Hands desperately hold the other close, reveling in the last minutes we have with each other. Before he actually tells me to leave and I listen, the last thing I see is the door closing as inch by inch of his face disappears from my line of sight.

In the middle of our kiss, I feel him take my hand that holds his ring in mine, parting our lips and opening his eyes to look at me. He looks down at my hand before looking into my eyes again. I climb off of his lap as he keeps his hand locked with mine, both of us standing to our feet while he runs his fingers over the ring.

A burst of panic takes over me once I realize what he's about to do, a choked sob falling from my lips as he looks up at me with sad eyes.

"Harry, please don't," I beg him as my free hand travels over my bracelet tied around his wrist.

"I love you," he whispers before sliding his ring off of my finger.

Everything inside of me goes numb as I watch him slip it back onto his finger, never once making eye contact with me as he begins to untie my bracelet from around his wrist.

"Please."

With a shaky hand, he ties it back around my wrist, "I love you."

An endless amount of tears pour from my eyes as my chest hurts with each breath I take, choked gasps and sobs causing my entire body to tremble. He looks into my eyes again as he takes my hand and leads me down the hallway. Pushing the door of his bedroom open, he walks us over to the dresser that contains my extra change of clothes and opens the drawer.

"Harry."

He takes out all of my clothes and places them into my arms, tears silently rolling down his cheeks as he briefly looks into my eyes. "I love you," his voice is quiet as he reaches up to wipe away my tears, leaning towards me to lightly press kisses across my cheeks and nose.

"Don't do this," I whimper as he looks down at the ground.

"Please don't come by here and try to see me. I won't be here. I'm moving back to Paris."

"Harry-"

"And, no. I'm not going back there to be with Maria. I'm completely done with her. I won't be able to love anyone ever again," he pauses to look me in the eyes, "Not after you."

I completely break down during that moment, not holding back the tears and heartwrenching sobs. He quickly pecks my lips, his own lips trembling against my own before he takes my hand and leads me out of his bedroom and to the front door.

The last time I'll see his art studio.

The last time I'll see his bedroom.

The last time I'll hear him speak to me.

"I want you to move on, Flower. I want you to find someone who can bring you so much happiness and so much love. Someone who can make you forget about me and all of the heartbreak I've caused you," he whispers while tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear, silent tears causing his cheeks to glisten and his eyes to become red and puffy.

I shake my head and lean into his touch, "I'll never love again. I'll always wait for you, Capolavoro."

A quiet sob falls from his lips before he leans forward to kiss me, holding me close one last time. Even when he tries pulling away I lean back in, wanting to be with him for even longer.

Because it feels like I'm breaking. It feels like the second I step out into that hallway I'm going to fall to the floor and never be able to get back up again. The only thing holding me together right now is the fact that he's still here, standing in front of me with his lips pressed against mine in a goodbye kiss.

"Goodbye, Flower," he whispers against my lips as he opens the door. "I love you more than life itself."

I look from the doorway to him, silently begging him to change his mind and pull me back into his arms, saying this is all a prank. But nothing in his eyes changes. More tears fall from his eyes and fall smoothly down his cheeks as he waits for me to take that one step into the hallway.

"Capolavoro..."

"I love you, Flower. I always will."

I shake my head, unable to take a step away from him, "I can't do it."

He closes his eyes, placing his lips on mine as he gently pushes me into the hallway, "I love you."

"Harry-"

"Tell me you love me one last time," he breathes out, already closing the door at a slow pace as his composure starts to break down and a muffled sob escapes his lips.

"Please don't-"

"Goodbye, Flower."

"I love you, Capolavoro," I whisper, hoping that maybe he'll open the door and change his mind.

The smallest of smiles tugs at his lips, the door still slowly closing until it closes all the way, and the last memory I have of Harry is a sad smile and tears.

And then I break.

Because when he shut that door, he shut off my will to find happiness in the world and my will to love anyone else other than the man who I call my Capolavoro.