AN: this isn't completely the end yet. I was almost done but decided to add in a few extra chapters. so this is a double update and THEN I'll post the end. sorry I keep saying I'm going to post the ending... it's hard to end this lmao... makes me sad :(

but please enjoy this double update. the very, very end will be coming to you soon I hope? so yeah... she's not done yet people!!

I love you soooooo much <3

p.s. - grab some tissues maybe?

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Harry's P.O.V

Five Days Ago

I juggle two coffees in my hand as I open the door to Aurora's flower shop, the usual sweet aroma of flowers washing over me the second I step through the magical threshold. My eyes immediately search for my Sleeping Beauty as a soft smile graces my lips, already playing my apology over and over again in my head for my change of demeanor this morning.

Liam meets my eyes and he waves me over to him, not a single trace of a smile lingering on his lips, "She's not here right now. I told her to take a nap but she decided to go for a walk instead."

"Oh," my smile falters and I look down at the coffees in my hand. "Maybe I should wait for her."

"Yeah, I don't think you should," he hums.

Confusion washes over me and I look back up to meet his eyes, "Why not?"

"I think you need to end things with her, Harry."

"W-what?" I breathe out, taking a step away from him as a hint of anger begins to linger in my mind. "Why do you think that?"

"Have you not seen her lately? She's pale and she constantly has bags under her eyes. She doesn't smile as much and there's always something going on between you two. It's like there's never a damn break," Liam shakes his head while letting out a breath. His fingers drum against the counter as he looks me up and down, "I think it would be better for the both of you. You don't look so good yourself."

I look away from him, guilt washing over me once I realize he's right. She does look like she's not happy anymore and that light in her eyes has disappeared again.

We're constantly having minor arguments and so many things are pulling us apart, me being one of them. I haven't been the best towards her and yesterday was a good example of that. Not only did I comfort Maria, but I also couldn't even go after her.

But that was also the day I broke. The day I realized I'm not a good person and Aurora doesn't deserve my love. My stupid, idiotic love for Maria got in the way and I constantly curse myself for still being in love with her. Because honestly, why the fuck am I?

"Maybe I can change. I can try to do better and- and I'll be a better man for her," I look at him desperately, grasping onto any reason I can stay with her.

He slightly tilts his head to the side and shakes it, "Harry, you can't do all of those things while still being with her. Taking a step away from her and taking time to find yourself is the only way you can fix this."

I shift nervously on my feet and take a deep breath, "I can't leave her, Liam. I love her too much."

"If you really love her," he reaches out and places his hand on my shoulder, "you'll leave her. If you don't want to watch that light in her eyes disappear forever, then you'll leave."

My heart drops to the floor, shattering into a million different pieces, the realization of what he's saying hitting me like a ton of bricks.

He's right and I hate him for it. I hate myself for it. It never should've led to this. I should've stayed away from her... I should've made better decisions. There are so many things I wish I would've done differently. I wish I could just go back to the start and fix everything I did wrong.

"I don't know if I have it in me to leave her..." I mumble, staring at my heart that is now scattered across the floor.

"Do you love her?" He asks me.

"More than anything."

He nods his head and sighs, "Do you want her to be happy?"

"Of course I want her to be happy," I scoff. "That's all I've ever wanted is for her to be happy."

"Then leave, Harry. Do yourselves a favor and end this relationship. It's not healthy anymore. It's toxic and you both know it," Liam says, removing his hand from my shoulder and staring at me with determination in his eyes. "I don't care what you have to say to her or what you have to do. If you truly want her to be happy and if you love her as much as you say you do, then you'll leave her."

I take a step away from him, eyeing him up and down, "Why are you so hell-bent on me leaving her?"

"Because I'm tired of her always having her heart broken. I'm tired of seeing her like this. She comes in every single day with sadness in her eyes. I don't know how much more she can take honestly. This- you- are putting her through so much shit. I mean like seriously? Hugging Maria while Aurora was right across the fucking table from you?" He seethes while leaning over the counter at me.

My jaw ticks and I slam the coffees down on the counter, leaning just as close to him, "Listen, pal. I didn't come here for you to tell me how shit of a boyfriend I am. Trust me. I know I am. I don't fucking need it shoved in my face from my best friend's boyfriend."

"I'm not just your best friend's boyfriend. I'm your girlfriend's best friend. I've known her way longer than you have, mate. And believe me when I say I know more shit about her than you do. She tells me everything," he glares at me, our noses inches away from each other.

"Oh, really? Like what?"

A smirk plants itself on his lips, a flash of excitement dancing behind his eyes, "Like how she planned on leaving your ass."

I reel back, my composure melting away as the venom in his words hits me straight in my already broken heart. My teeth sink into the inside of my cheek, trying to hold back the tears as I clench my fists by my sides, "I already knew that, dumbass."

The words she wrote flash across my brain and I wince slightly, trying to block them out.

I'm writing this note to tell you I'm leaving...

"Well, you already knew?" The stupid smile on his face grows, obviously reveling in my pain. "Then why'd you stay? Why'd you stay if you knew she was going to leave you?"

"Because I fucking love her," My voice cracks as a hot tear slides down my cheek. I angrily wipe it away and look away from him, staring at the floor while I bite down on my bottom lip.

Silence settles around us and I was thankful that there weren't any customers in the store, knowing how completely idiotic and broken I look right now.

I know that if I stay with you, I'm going to lose myself and so are you.

I shake my head, trying to rid my brain of the words she left for me that I wasn't supposed to read.

"And like I said. If you actually love her, you'll fucking leave."

God, this asshole is getting on my nerves.

"Seeing as how she's still with me and she tells you everything," I snap, looking back up to meet his penetrating gaze, "You must know why she still hasn't given me the note yet."

He chuckles and drums his fingers on the countertop, "Because you've manipulated her mind to where she thinks she can't fucking breathe without you right there by her side. She should've left your ass the second she saw that message on your phone from Maria. But did she? No. Why do you think that is?"

I swallow thickly, clenching and unclenching my fists by my sides while I grind my teeth in anger, "I have no fuckin' clue."

"Because she wanted to see the good in you. She wanted to believe it wasn't true and she chose to look past it. But then what did you do? You went and fucking met up with her," his voice is dark and laced with venom, the look he's giving me right now making me feel completely worthless. "Not only that but then you met with her a second time. You lied to Aurora's face and proceeded to go to a club with her, which- if I remember correctly- Aurora said you kissed her god damn cheek and were whispering in her ear."

"What else did she tell you?" My voice comes out as a whisper.

"Other than the fact that you comforted Maria even after she called Aurora a bitch and you looked at her like she was nothing but a piece of garbage? Nothing much," he waves his hand dismissively in the air.

"I didn't- I didn't look at her like that," I mumble.

Did I?

He hums and quirks an eyebrow at me, "Are you sure?"

No.

A pain runs through my chest as I feel my composure starting to break down, the tears threatening to fall, "If... If I leave her. Do you really think she'll be happy again? Do you think if I leave her, all of her pain will stop?"

"Mhm," Liam nods his head.

But what about my pain?

If I leave her, my heart isn't going to be fixed. It'll tear a hole right through me and leave me broken.

The thought of never being able to feel her run her fingers through my hair and press small kisses to my forehead again breaks me right down to the core.

Never being able to wake up with her tucked into my side, her hair tickling my nose as the smell of flowers and honey fills the air, will bring me to my knees.

I'll never be able to tell her I love her more than life itself while leaving tender kisses along her velvety skin, hearing her soft sighs and quiet giggles enchant the air.

"And you know what amazes me, Harry?" Liam's obnoxious voice pulls me out of my desperate thoughts. "She never once spoke of you in a bad way. She always came up with excuses as to why you'd do something. She was defending you, even when you didn't deserve it."

I don't deserve it.

I don't deserve her.

"Look, I-" My voice cracks again and I clear my throat, fighting back the tears, "I get I'm an ass. I get I don't deserve her or any good thing in my life. You don't have to keep throwing it in my face. I get it. I'll... I'll leave her."

My body betrays me as a sad whimper escapes past my lips, looking away from his gaze before he can put me down even further. I leave the two cups of coffee sitting on the counter and turn on my heel, heading straight towards the door.

"Harry," he calls out to me and I squeeze my eyes shut, blowing out a shaky breath from my lips.

"What, Liam? Don't you think you've already said enough? I get I'm the biggest asshole there ever was and Aurora deserves so, so much better than a piece of worthless fucking trash like me. I fucking get it," I grit out through my teeth, turning my head to look at him from over my shoulder.

He remains silent, my body itching to be outside and away from him. "I was just going to say to take your coffee."

I ball my hands into fists before stalking over to him with hot tears running down my cheeks, keeping my eyes locked with his while I snatch the two cups of coffee resting on the counter, resisting the urge to throw them at him.

"The only good thing that will come out of me leaving Aurora is that I'll never have to see your fucking face again," I spit, my voice wavering slightly.

"Oh, babe. I'm dating your best friend. Remember?" He smirks.

"God, why the fuck are you doing this? What the hell did I ever do to you?" I practically cry out in despair, holding myself back from punching him square in the face.

"You didn't do anything to me. It's what you're doing to Aurora and the fact you're acting like you don't even care because you know she'll come running back to you," Liam scoffs while rolling his eyes.

I stare at him with a blank expression while tears spill from my eyes, "Do you not fucking see me right now? I'm fucking broken over the fact I'm having to leave the love of my life because of my stupid decisions. So don't fucking stand there and tell me I don't care when I've never felt this worthless before."

Without waiting for him to reply, I turn around and walk out of Aurora's flower shop, clutching the two cups of coffee so tightly in my hands I feel the styrofoam beginning to break, causing the hot liquid to seep through the cracks.

"Fuck!" I scream while throwing the drinks down on the ground, the liquid splattering across the sidewalk and road as people walking by give me odd stares, stopping in their tracks to watch me with wide eyes. Hot, angry tears pour from my eyes as I kick the cups away with my feet before turning around to pick them up, angrily shoving them into a trashcan before walking down the street.

My hands shake by my sides as I gasp for air, wiping my tears with frustration, knowing that they show how broken I am. How worthless I feel and how pathetic I look. I keep my head down as I pass people on the sidewalk, not wanting them to see the tears falling from my eyes and running down my cheeks.

I left because we both need this.

I run my hands through my hair and desperately tug at the roots while my mind continues to remind me of that heartbreaking letter. "Christ, it hurts," I mumble to myself as my chest continues to rise and fall at a rapid pace.

Shivers run down my spine and my mind travels back to my time spent with her this morning. I close my eyes and imagine her in my arms, her legs wrapped around my waist as the rain pours down on us. The overwhelming sense of love I felt for her during that moment only increases the pain in my chest, a choked sob leaving my lips once her voice speaking the words 'marry me' in French plays over and over again in my head like a broken record.

And even though I played it off like the words meant kiss me, my mind was screaming at me to tell her what they really meant. I wanted to tell her that I want her to marry me, even if it's only been four months of us being together. Because I know she's the one. I know I'll never love someone as much as I love her. She's the love of my life.

She's my Flower.

But now I'm making the decision to leave her before I cause her to wither out and die, saving her from myself and my stupid decisions.

I'll leave her, even if it means me living the rest of my life with a broken heart. Even if it means that I'll never wake up with her in my arms again. Even if it means the hole inside my chest will always be there.

But for her, I'll endure it all. I'll welcome the pain if it means she'll be happy again.

Because for her, I'd risk anything and everything.

•••

Present Day

The cold water hits my clothed body, my knees tucked against my chest as I keep my hand clamped over my mouth to muffle my broken sobs.

After five days of being away from her, I thought I'd be able to prepare myself to leave her. I thought it'd be easy to tell her I'm leaving her after going five days without touching her skin and feeling her lips against mine.

But that all went to shit the second I decided I couldn't stand it anymore and opened the door to my apartment to go find her.

Because there she stood in front of me with a look of panic written all over her face, her cheeks and tip of her nose tinged the prettiest shade of pink I've ever seen. She stood there with her fist raised and eyes wide while she took in my appearance, the keys falling from my mouth as I spoke her name.

And if I thought I could push down the overwhelming feeling of seeing her standing in front of me again after five days, she had to go and say my name.

Everything inside of me caved and I didn't hold myself back as I took her in my arms and squeezed her so tightly I know the air had to be knocked from her lungs. I breathed in her addicting scent of flowers and honey and let myself fall for her all over again.

It finally felt like I could breathe after five days without oxygen.

Feeling the warmth of her fingertips press into my skin had caused an inhuman-like whimper to leave my lips, causing tears to form in my eyes and fall onto her skin. The touch of her lips to my collarbone and hearing her call me a masterpiece when I was nowhere near such a thing had sent me right over the edge.

So as I watched the slight warmth of happiness touch her eyes after showing her the painting of her grandmother's garden, I had to take a step back and remind myself I can't continue being with her if I want that happiness to once again be the only thing filling her emerald green eyes.

But the thought of the words 'I can't do this anymore' spilling from my lips genuinely makes me sick to my stomach. It drives a knife straight through my already broken heart.

Because the look on her face is what's going to break me the most.

I know the light is going to drain from her eyes, tears are going to well up in those irises that I call home, and I'm going to fall to my knees as I completely fall apart.

My body begins to shake as the ice-cold water continues to pelt against my skin, my clothes sticking to my body while my chest heaves up and down with each sob that falls from my lips. Nothing but pain and heartache flows through me, the thought of having to get up and confront her sending wave after wave of nausea through me.

I reach up to turn off the water and stumble out of the shower, my wet clothes leaving a trail of water as I make my way to the toilet, clutching onto the sides while my entire body trembles. I mentally say a prayer that Aurora doesn't hear me puking my guts up, knowing that if she walked in on me like this I'd never be able to tell her I'm leaving her.

She'd run her hand down my back and I'd instantly become putty in her hands, any willpower left in me immediately flying out the window at the sound of her voice.

With shaky legs I stand up from the floor and grab my toothbrush, leaning against the counter to hold myself up as I brush my teeth. A wave of dizziness takes over me, the lack of barely eating during these last five days catching up to me. My soaking wet clothes still cling to my body, the material ice cold against my skin.

My teeth chatter as I open the door to my bathroom and grab a change of clothes, spotting a pen and paper resting on my bedside table. The right materials to leave a note.

A note. Something for Aurora to remember me by. Something that will declare my love for her even when my actions don't. Something I can express my feelings through other than paint and a paintbrush. Something that will tell her all the things I can never bring myself to tell her.

I quickly change my clothes, sighing in relief now that warmth once again makes an appearance. Glancing at the clock, I realize I only have a little bit of time before she gets suspicious and comes to check on me.

So I sit down on my bed, tears staining my cheeks and the paper in my hands, and I write.

Because I don't want her to hate me. I don't want her to despise my existence.

I just want her to be happy.

That's all I've ever wanted... is for my Flower to be happy.