After showering, I sat down on the couch, still in my pajamas. Madison and Mason were giving me concerned looks. 

"Is everything okay?" Madison asks. Liam and Olivia had been sent home to their families, but since Justin was still working to get the generator running, I was forced to stay with the kids. 

I sigh, "Yes. Everything is fine. How about you two go find a board game to play with or something?"

"No." Madison quickly says. "What's wrong?"

"Don't bug her, Maddie. Clearly, she doesn't want to talk about it." Mason says, which relives me. He is usually the one to be bugging everyone.

"Okay..." Madison takes her brother's hand, leading him upstairs. 

I sigh again. 

I wonder about my father. More like worry than wonder. No one survives when they have the sickness. I've heard many names as to what people call it, the sickness I mean. Sickness. Plague. Monster. Blood Death. Killer. Paranoia. Jenny was the first to call it Paranoia. I didn't understand it at first. But she said it was because with everyone dying, it would cause the people still living to do things they wouldn't actually do before the outbreak. Like steal, murder, or fling dead bodies over a wall. 

She said that doing this would put every one out of five members left on earth go into a state of paranoia. It makes since, even though I would never try to steal or murder unless my life depended on it. And it did, that's why I killed those men. But I didn't do it quick enough. Maybe if I wouldn't have hesitated, I could have killed them without them infecting my father. 

But what's done is done. I take a deep breath. It's funny how life is now. If the outbreak would have never happened, and I murdered those men, I would be thrown in jail. But here and now, I was patted on the back for my good accuracy. 

Before the outbreak was fun. We had neighborhood bonfires or cookouts every Sunday. I'd help Madison and Mason sell lemonade in a wagon on hot summer days, bleeding into the cool summer nights when we would spend the night together. They were only six then, and I don't even know if they remember what life was like before the outbreak. I remember it crystal clear. It was like a dream that was so good, that you just hold onto it in your heart, thinking about it every now and then, wishing that the dream would come true. 

But this was my real life now. This is what my life would always be like. From now until I die. 

Which, when I was twelve, I thought I was going to die. I still think I am, and I know I will, but back then it was the fear of the unknown. I didn't know who would end up with the virus next. Me? My Dad? My brother? My best friends from school?

The news warned us that the only way we could get infected was to come in close contact with a dead body. When my sister started showing the symptoms, my father set her in the ground, like a hollow grave, and covered her with a blanket. It's not that he was a bad person, we just didn't know what else to do. But it was hectic. My father forced my brother and I to stay inside. But I saw from the news, and from the outside of my bedroom window. People would take their sick spouses or children, or even parents outside. Some would shoot them in the head, killing them, then leaving them there. Others would burn their loved ones to a crisp, just so they wouldn't be sick. 

One of the ones that made me throw up, though, was on the news. This girl, roughly my age, maybe younger, was accused of being a witch and cursing the land. A witch. She was whipped in front of everyone, people even cheering for her to die. Once she was nearly dead, a priest came and burned a cross into her skin, screaming at her to release the devil from the land. It looked like something out of a scary witch movie, except it wasn't. The girl screamed for her life for them to let her go, but she died. Not even from the sickness, but from the people.

It made me sick. 

It only got worse. 

People looted and stole, setting homes and families on fire. People murdered, kidnapped, and did worse things. I was terrified. 

The air force kept shooting down any airplanes to keep the virus from spreading more. 

Power went out in most of America. All hope was lost. 

People died.

Millions of people died. 

I lift my head up, hearing Madison and Mason talking about something form upstairs. I decided to go and join them. I was tired of being alone and remembering those days. I was just happy to still be alive. 

Madison and Mason were playing a card game. I smile at them. 

"Do you wanna play?" Mason asks.

"I'll wait until the next round, okay bud?"

Mason smiles and nods, and I hear a faint knock at the door. I get up and head downstairs. I swing open the door to see Doctor Erin staring back at me.

"Tessa." Doctor Erin starts.

"He's dead, isn't he?" My words come out colder than I intended. 

Doctor Erin pauses, keeping her eyes locked with mine. Very slowly, she nods. 

I felt my heart shatter. 

My father, whom I loved with every ounce left in me. Who had always kept me safe from anything. My father, who was strict with me because he loved me. My father, who was now dead. 

My knees go weak. No more hugs or kisses. No more pats on the back. No more silly songs to lighten my mood and make me smile. No more great advice. No more holding hands as we walk to the pond. No more "Goodnight and Sweet Dreams." No more love. 

No more Dad.