Chapter 31.2: The Monster in my Head
"Agamios-sama!"
A scout's shout pulled Kashi away from the flames. The daeben turned to see a centaur gallop up to he, Darian and Agamios with urgent strides.
Agamios looked at the centuar and sensing the situation's urgency, said, "Report."
The centaur took a moment to catch his breath then reported, "We've spotted traces of a massive monster army headed this way."
"How many monsters?"
The scout swallowed hard as he looked at the daeben and said, "We couldn't make out their full numbers, but we're sure they're at least double the number that attaked us."
"How far?"
"About thirty minutes out?"
Agamios' eyes twitched and he looked at Kashi with respect. "Looks like your predictions were right. The enemy has indeed launched a final offensive. What do you propose we do now?"
Kashi's eyes narrowed as he looked at the scout. "Where you discovered?"
"No," The scout refuted with a shake of his head. "We left before they could."
Kashi released a sigh of relief at the scout's response. "Good. The enemy cannot know about the Longma tribe's presence here. It might cause the headquarters to raise their guard." Kashi looked at Agamios. "You and Darian will take the tribe and my people and circle around the army. Take as wide a berth as reasonably possible. We can't risk you getting seen."
Darian's brows furrowed in concern. "What about you? How will you find us?"
"Do not worry about me," Kashi reassured with a heartening smile. "Shadow and I have prepared for moments like this. He'll leave marks on the trees for me to follow. It will not be difficult for me to find you."
"I understand, but why are you staying behind?" Darian asked. "Do you intend on wiping out the entire army by yourself? If so, why do we need the infiltration plan?"
Kashi shook his head with a wry smile. "I cannot possibly take on an army of that size by myself. It doesn't matter how fast I regenerate mana or ki, my stamina will bottom out eventually. Besides, there'll definitely be a few marilith class monsters in this final army. A battle of attrition is far too detrimental."
"Indeed," Darian nodded. "But if that's the case, what do you intend to do?"
"If I were to be altruistic, I would say, I wish to thin out the enemy's numbers and stronger threats before they reach the village," Kashi said with a wry smile. "But, if I were to be truthful, then the truth is, I need to vent."
Crrrack!
A flash of lightning pealed through the night sky, accompanied shortly by a sharp clap of thunder. The light illuminated the daeben's features. His gruesome smile and blood-red eyes shone against the backdrop of his dark skin, and sent shivers like none other down Darian and Agamios' spine.
Suddenly, Darian and Agamios felt like they no longer spoke to a daeben, but the personification of death itself. They could feel the deathly cold touch of the grim reaper upon their necks when they looked into the daeben's eyes.
Luckily, the phenomenon only lasted for a brief moment, before Kashi's aura returned to normal. "I've got a monster inside me you see," Kashi explained. "Very few things in existence can trigger that monster, but once it has been awakened, it can only truly be sated with blood and pain."
"Blood and Pain," Agamios murmured with a hollow expression. This was something he was all too familiar with. The Longma tribe's powerful bloodlust would often consume them during battle, and they would not regain their faculties until they had shed enough blood or suffered enough damage to pull them out of the trance.
"Yes," Kashi concurrerd with a light smile. "The monster is awake, but simmering right now. I do not want to go into the enemy's HQ like this. There's a good chance he'll disrupt my thoughts and I do not want to risk that. I do not want to die after all. So, I'm going to vent. I will offer up the blood of our enemies to sate the monster and put him back to sleep. Then I will escape join up with you."
Darian swallowed hard and nodded. "Alright, I understand." He turned to Agmios and prompted the centaur chief, "We should start moving if we want to dodge the army."
Agamios grimly nodded then regarded Kashi with a solemn look. "We of the Longma Tribe know what it feels like to have a monster of rage and bloodlust within us. You must learn to control it, or it will consume you."
"Thank you. I shall keep those words to heart," Kashi said, then watched as Agamios and Darian left to organize the rest of the punitive force. A few moments later, the daeben let out a wry smile and said, "How long do you plan on standing there? Not gonna scare me?"
"Not this time," Shadow muttered in a low voice as he walked out from behind the daeben to his side. "Not in the mood."
Kashi, even though he had a good inkling what the answer would be, asked, "What's wrong?"
Shadow's eyes narrowed as he looked at the daeben. "Your eyes. I don't like them. They scare me."
"I didn't know you could get scared."
"Neither did I," Shadow replied. 'There's always only been one thing in this world that scares me, and that's losing my sister. But right now, it seems I'm scared of losing you too."
Kashi could feel the assassin's intense gaze on the side of his face. He sighed as he looked to the night sky and promised, "I'm not going anywhere Shadow."
"You'd better not," Shadow said and finally took his eyes off the daeben. "Or else I'll find you wherever you are, even if it's hell itself and drag you back to apologize to Lunette."
Kashi burst out in laughter and ruffled Shadow's hair. A serene smile played on his face as he said, "I can't have you haunting me now, can I? I'll be sure to stay put."
"Don't die," Shadow said with a snort, then walked away towards his horse.
Kashi looked at his palm, then clenched it into a fist as he muttered under his breath, "I don't know how long I'll be here, but I swear I will never die."
"Looks like you're really loved by your friends," Larsial called as she walked over to Kashi with a teasing smile on her face.
Kashi shook his head with mirth in his eyes. "Who would have thought right? I must've been a saintly doctor in my past life to have this much going for me." Kashi said as Shadow, Darian and Agamios approached him.
"We are ready, Kashi-dono," Darian reported with a stern look in his eyes. "We will be leaving now."
Kashi nodded his acknowledgment. "Ride safe, and may Aethir guide your path."
Agamios raised his arm to his chest in a salute. "May your spear strike true."
"Well, I'm an archer so I'm not sure how well that applies," Kashi joked, then raised his arm to his chest and added in a solemn tone, "but thank you. I will find you safe in two hours."
Kashi shared a look with Shadow who sat atop his stallion. The assassin gave Kashi a curt nod then gallopped alongside Darian and Agamios as they escaped into the surrouding forests.
"You are not leaving with them?" Kashi asked as he turned to look at Larsial who was stroking Drixlia's body.
"I am here to watch you, and decide the fate of those under my command," Larsial stated with a sultry smile. "What better time to find out what you are about than when you are about to confront your inner demons?"
"It won't be safe," Kashi stated, though he made no effort to convince her otherwise.
"I'll be with Drix-kun at a safe enough distance," Larsial assured. "You'll probably be exhausted when it's time to escape anyway. With me here, you'll have ample time to rest both mentally and physically."
Kashi looked at her for a brief moment then shrugged. "Do what you want. It's a free world, or at least we're trying to make it one."
"As you wish," Larsial said then led Drixlia into the forest to hide.
Kashi watched her leave then walked north of the burning pyres and sat on the floor. As he felt the heat from the flames warm his back, the daeben thought back to Agamios' advice. "We of the Longma tribe know what it feels like to have a monster of rage and bloodlust in our hearts. You must learn to overcome it, or it will consume you."
"You're wrong, Agamios-san," Kashi muttered as he looked toward the still forest. "What plagues me is not as simple as rage and bloodlust. It is not a sickness or abnormality that can be removed or trained away in time. It is a part of me. A critical part of me that I cannot tamper with. It is a force that can consume and destroy me any day it wants at will. I am nothing but a Resident in this body. I can be deleted the moment I break the established rules."
Kashi's body trembled as he looked up toward the night sky. "Do you know what the worst thing is? The man who controls this body; the man who controls my fate, is also not in control of this monster. It has warped his mind on numerous occasions. Made him do and say things he should never have. That night, in the fire, he saw what the monster could do. He saw what it was capable of. That was the day he learned the truth. The truth each of us has to contend with. This is not a monster that can be controlled or overcome. This monster can only be sated temporarily. We can only put it at bay and try our best to ensure our lives and personalities forever run Parallel to it. For should we clash, we will always lose. Every single time. And it will end in our destruction..."
Whoooo...
A gentle breeze blew past, rustling the leaves upon which the daeben sat. As if influenced by the wind, a voice echoed in the depth of Kashi's heart. '...I'm sorry.'
Kashi blinked, stunned by the apology, then burst out laughing. "Well, how's that for character development!?" the daeben joked. "You never once apologized to Razznik, did you?"
'No, I didn't.'
"Well then, I must be doing something right," Kashi remarked with a wry smile. "Wonder how much longer I have left if that's the case."
'I won't—'
"No, you will," Kashi interrupted. "Even if you don't, one day, when my purpose is complete, I will ask you to. That is our fate, and your curse. It is your punishment for what you did. You must create and watch us die, one by one until you are complete. Only then can you finally destroy the monster and truly live."
'...'
"Hey don't go quiet on me now. It's not like I blame you or anything," Kashi said with a bright smile. "You are as much a victim as the rest of us."
Dudududu...
Kashi's ears perked up at the low rumbling sounds of thousands of feet striking the earth. "But you know, I do not intend to live my life like a victim," Kashi said as he rose to his feet and dusted his backside. "I will not repeat the mistakes you and Razznik made. I will not give in to the fear, the anger, the hatred." The daeben flashed a toothy grin as he slowly walked toward the direction of the rumbling. "I will live my life to the fullest. I will learn happiness. I will learn friendship. I will learn what it means to love. I will learn to put my trust in others. I will learn what it means to build something great with companions."
DUDUDUDUDUD!
The earth trembled as what was once a low rumbling transformed to the sound of a thousand thunderclaps echoing through the night sky at once.
Kashi grinned as the first batch of the monster army began to spill through the trees. "I will leave my name in this world. Even when I pass on, my name will live on in the hearts of my friends." Electricity and lightning sparked in Kashi's eyes as scales began to grow along his body. "So, sit back and relax, Suzu. I'll put that monster to bed real soon."
By the time the entire monster army rolled out, they were met with a lightning infused Draconian glaring at them with a bright, toothy grin.
"But I'll do it MY way!" Lightning flashed in the night sky, and the earth trembled from the booming thunder that announced the daeben's presence. "Because I am not you, nor am I Razznik. I am me..."
The monsters froze in place, petrified by fear, and Larsial's eyes opened wide in shock as they gazed upon the personification of 'Lightning Tribulation.'
The daeben's form disappeared amongst the lightning as a voice boomed over the entire forest, "My name is Kashi. Kashi of the Hopeful Maggots. Better Remember It!"
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A/N: Hi Guys! Happy New Year in advance (or Happy New Year depending on where you live). Hope you've all got your plans for the new year all mapped and written down. Wrote mine down at the start of this year, and I gotta say, I'm proud to say I successfully completed about 90% of my plans. suggest you all write want you wanna achieve by the end of the year on a piece of paper somewhere or in your diary. Just something you can look back on at any point in the year and go, yup. I've completed that, only got this much left.
Happy New Year y'all! Have a swell time. And remember. You are you. You are unique. Don't try too hard to be what everyone wants you to be. Live life the way you want. Go into the new year with your head held high and proclaim to the world.
I AM _________ I will Live MY WAY!
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