i realise that you have no idea of my feelings for you,

no inkling (sweet word) of the bitterness and regret

that folds around my heart like a bandanna. snug,

familiar, perfect fit. acrid-blue as lead, when i see your

beloved face. love is not always hard as we skirt ourselves

with no effort, but sometimes, sometimes it feels like

scales scraped off of my thoughts. all in the wrong direction.

which is the right direction for that. and bloodily effective.

you have no idea how much i want to relinquish my power

and just be cared for and carried, by your love for me,

since before the beginning of this mad and crooked world.