Belraria was like a damaged boat. When Esgard lost his regnant, the boat became frangible and His powerlessness punctured holes in every part of the wood that became the passageway of water. Gradually, the boat was continuously flooded with water until it finally sank at the deepest part of the ocean in which no hand can reach out to help and only desertion will be the only option for survival.

The planet drowned again and perhaps it was bound to happen.

It was like a teabag being doused in water for the second use but only this time, there was no God to tug it up.

"Last one!" Chaos called up to me and threw over the net filled with wriggling sea worms on the small wooden boat I was on.

These worms will serve as food for the surviving toscans and it will be the only food they'll have until the day that Esgard returns to rule the planet he created.

The people of Belraria were starting to lose their faith on Him and in most days I would hear some of them say "God is dead" and "There is no hope for us now".

For a creator, it must be painful for Esgard to feel the growing distrust from His creations. The priestesses and priests that we jailed before were spared but they were no used to us now because even they lost their love for Esgard.

"If Esgard really loves us and if He really is there then, He wouldn't have let you live..."

To the priests and priestesses, my mere presence was strong proof that Esgard failed them as their Lord and Savior. If my departure from the planet would restore the faith of these Holy Servants then I would leave however seeing that they were incapable of restraining their own pride, I didn't trust them with the rest of the toscans.

"six...ten...seventeen," I counted the nets. "These will last for two days," I told Chaos who lifted himself up from the water.

"There are still lots of those worms underneath the sand but are you sure that it's okay for us to take these?" Chaos asked me.

"I already spoke with the main ruler of Yvaria remember? These worms are nothing but a nuisance to them so we're also doing them a favor," I assured Chaos.

"These worms may be just pests to them but to us these are the only creatures keeping us away from starving to death," Chaos scoffed and sat down.

"That's true," I murmured and gazed up at the tenebrous skies.

The moon was hiding behind the clouds but the water beneath us provided us more than enough light to gather food. Chaos and I would always hunt for these worms during nighttime because they were crepuscular and though the first two weeks were tough, we were getting used to this kind of life. It was simple. It was modest. I was contented.

I didn't feel any less of a God but rather, I became more than what I could have expected.

Chaos pulled my hand and slipped his arm behind my hip pulling me down to sit on his lap.

"Let's rest before going back," Chaos whispered and leaned his head on the side of my neck.

"That's the plan..." I replied and placed my hands on his shoulders.

Both of us enjoyed the comfortable silence we had and listened to the occasional splashes of water going on around made by the yvarians. I relaxed in Chaos's hold and shut my eyes and abruptly, my body tensed up and I grabbed hold to Chaos in a tight embrace that startled him.

"What's wrong?" he asked me.

I hugged Chaos tighter and tears began to spill out of my eyes.

What was wrong with me? What was this feeling? Why was my heart getting so heavy all of a sudden? It was particularly moaning for Chaos but I didn't know for what reason. It was painful.

"Do you suddenly get this feeling...this intense feeling that you're suddenly becoming protective over someone?" I asked him.

Chaos pulled me away from him and I witnessed his kind smile. "I always do especially because of you," he replied. "But I know that you can take care of yourself and that puts me at ease," he added.

I was extremely worried and paranoid. I always had been a paranoiac but my instincts never fail me. It was one of the things I was gifted with as a God and because they kicked in again, I was high on guard for anything that would attack us.

"One day, I'll take you to my planet, Ymra," Chaos spoke softly. "You'll love the aykes I can assure you that."

"You think so?" I asked him while my eyes searched for any potential prey that would hurt us especially Chaos.

"Yeah, but you have to refrain from killing anyone or else there will be no ayken to love, okay?" he jokingly chuckled. I tried to divide my attention between guarding Chaos and listening to him.

"I promise," I answered and spared him a glance and a smile.

Chaos always had the worst timing in everything. Whenever he decided to say something irrelevant, I would usually laugh it off or just jab him at the rib however; this time was different and I detested it. It made me extremely anxious.

"But...if I can't take you there, you're welcome to visit any time," Chaos stated which stole my complete attention and sadness washed over my heart.

"You'll be the one to take me there. There are no buts," I firmly told him finding myself completely shaken. The ayken nodded and smiled toothily.

"No buts," he agreed. "I promise."

We returned to the ruins and climbed up the myriad narrow stairs with the hunts on our shoulders. Half of the height of the ruins were already submerged in water. There were fifty structures with three triangular surfaces on each building coinciding to one point. The structures were old but their age did not define their strength to provide shelter for the many homeless toscans.

There was one structure that did not have a pointed top. It was a bigger and taller structure and it had a stone holder in which we placed the stone Esgard was in. Kogen and I took turns in guarding it. The rest of the people were not allowed on that area even the ayken brothers and I trusted Kogen to put a seal around the place to keep nosy people out and disguise the flat top as a pointed top.

Chaos and I went our separate ways and delivered the raw ingredient to the occupied ruins. There were fifty establishments but only six of them were occupied and we were expecting more survivors. The toscans greeted us with much respect and once that was done, both of us occupied our room. It was just a small space but I get to be with Chaos for a few more hours before switching with Kogen.

My lover was already resting on the hard floor with my Zeke just below his feet and I lied down beside him and embraced his disarmed body.

"I know it's not my place to ask but, where will you go a few hours from now?" he abruptly asked me. "I'm not really pressuring you or anything and you can just tell me to shut up if you don't want to answer," he immediately backed up.

"I...can't tell you. Not yet," I admitted.

I didn't like keeping things from him but the problem that Kogen and I had was just...It can only be handled by our race. I wasn't belittling anyone based on what planet they came from however, even I find my own kind perplexing so how much more for the others who thought that Gods were invisible? Okay, that was belittling. Damn this, this was the reason why I didn't have friends.

"Chaos, do you believe in Gods?" I asked him and  I heard him hum from interest.

"They're there alright...They are definitely there," he answered me. "But like us, I feel like they're also figuring out what to do with their lives."

Chaos was both ends of the pole. He can be incredibly smart and he was also incredibly dim-witted in some occasions.

"How can you tell?" I asked him.

The ayken laughed. "There wouldn't be any dead planets if there aren't any Gods who are...not fit to create. The universe is endless and so there are plenty of rooms for mistakes. Gods are a lot like us however they have this power that gives them the authority to set rules and standards for their perfect world. I've been to so many planets and most of them have this updated Holy Scripture. That's when I realized that Gods may seem to know everything but they really don't; they just know a shit ton. They continuously learn and grow from their mistakes molding themselves to become a better God to be worshipped. Honestly? They have a lot of shit on their shoulders. I wouldn't want to be like them."

I was astonished by Chaos's way of thinking and truthfully, I agreed with his belief and I was grateful that he had such way of thinking.

"Being a God...is hard..." I murmured and inhaled a deep and burdened breath. "It's terrible."

Chaos tightened his embrace around me and he began to stroke my hair softly and gently.

"I wouldn't know but one thing is for sure," he put out in a cliff. "I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with a God," he whispered to me.

He knew and perhaps he was only speculating on things but the strong idea that he accepted me was comforting.

I lied beside Chaos and savored his presence until it was finally my time to replace Kogen. I rose up from my place and smiled at him who was waving at me goodbye.

"Be careful out there and watch out for Rupture. If he ever stalks you or declares his undying love, don't kill him because if you do, how the heck was I supposed to kick his ass?" he joked causing me to laugh.

"I'll leave some life in there don't worry."

I had my suspicious that Imjir was hiding behind the identity of Rupture for one second especially when Chaos made a false and "oblivious" claim that his brother was the God of Jealousy. It turned out that he was just exaggerating his point about Rupture being jelly all the time.

"I'll see you later," I bid him farewell.

"I'll probably still have my eyes closed. I'm exhausted," he sighed and yawned.  I knelt beside him and gave his forehead a kiss. 

"Get some rest," I whispered. 

Ever since we left the temple, Rupture avoided me and even when I talk to him about important things, he wouldn't look at me in the eye. Chaos told me that in their planet losing a possible mate or a mate at that placed a mark of shame in your bloodline especially if you lost him or her due to shameful acts. They can only redeem their pride once they reclaim the one they lost therefore Chaos always told me to be cautious at all times to not fall for Rupture.

It was just him being insecure despite all my assurance. It was cute.

"How are things here?" I asked Kogen who was reading all sorts of reading materials from different planets scattered on the floor.

"I'm well and Esgard is well," Kogen replied and rose up dismissing all of his scriptures. "Once Esgard heals and once He regains His place as God, what will you do now?" Kogen asked me.

"I really...I really want to go wherever Chaos will go," I told him briefly unsure if that was the right choice.

Kogen smiled at me and placed his hands firmly on my shoulders. "That's great. You've grown you know?"

"In height?" I falsely hoped.

The God of Justice cackled. "Dream on," he teased. "But in all honesty Corlos, when I first met you, you were directionless. Sure you can be deranged but it's all for a good cause. Your pai is proud."

I laughed out at Kogen's statement. "You accept me as your child now?"

"I still have my regrets..."

I playfully hit Kogen's chest and he sighed. "Do whatever makes you happy. Explore the universe and...continue to find yourself."

"What about you?" I asked him. I was poignant that the day that Kogen and I will finally go in our separate  ways was fast approaching but he had an important duty to save worlds.

Kogen narrowed his gaze and pursed his lips. "I have to find the God who did this to Esgard. If I can't find him here, I'll find him in another planet. I can't stop now."

There were many lives at stake here. Did the Higher Order of Gods know about this? Why were they letting this happen? Can Kogen do this alone?

"I want to find Imjir—" My statement was cut short when the barrier protecting the stone was shattered by a spear made up of white light smothered with...blood.

"Corlos we have to move!" Kogen snarled at me.

A black smoke swirled around the stone containing Esgard and flew up revealing the face of Rupture in a second before soaring even further.

I couldn't find myself to move.

I couldn't find myself to believe.

I need more time...

I need...more time...

"Corlos, he's dead! Imjir is getting away!" Kogen growled at me.

I told you to rest but...

"Chaos..." I murmured and my hand slowly rose to touch his face. His bare chest was pierced by the spear that was now staked to the ground as his blood continued to feed the soaked blade.

I didn't tell you to rest forever.

"I'm so sorry Corlos...I'll come back for you, I'll come back!" Kogen yelled and chased after Imjir.

I wrapped my hand around Chaos's hand and cupped his cheek. 

Everything you said were clues and I didn't pick them up. I could have prevented this but I was too stupid to recognize the warning signals you were obliviously giving off. Subconsciously, you knew you were going to die.

I felt it too.

 Why didn't I do anything?

"You said your eyes will still be closed by then...why didn't you tell me you weren't going to open them anymore?

This was how love felt like.

This was how his love destroyed me.

"You were supposed to take me to your planet..." I suspired in lament. "I don't want to go alone because you promised me; YOU PROMISED ME YOU'LL TAKE ME THERE!" I yelled at him. My lower lip trembled and my body started to rack with uncontrollable sobs.

I slowly carried Chaos off of the spear and gently laid his lower body down. I kept his torso in my tight embrace expecting him to embrace me back like what he usually does. I held on to him. I cried on him. I screamed all my pain and all my sadness for the whole world to hear.

He broke his promise.

I lost him to death.

I lost any sympathy, any empathy and any remorse I had for anything and anyone. 

I lost my desire for life when I lost him.

It really hurt. I never felt this much pain before. Guardian never taught me that losing someone can be this painful. It took me by surprise. Out of all the battles I've been in with Chaos, this hurt me the most.

"You win..." I whispered against his ear. 

Life can be so unfair.

I stared up at the moon still hiding behind the clouds and my sobs died down. I gently placed  Chaos on the floor and closed my eyes. 

My heartbeat started to cease and I stopped breathing. 

I never wanted to feel anything anymore. It was tiring to live and that was the reason why...

I was needed in the universe.

"Where did Imjir go to?"

I twirled my dagger while I sat on top of the tall heap of dead bodies lying under me. I watched in amusement as Kogen's eyes widened in shock and horror when he found the ocean that was once blue and brimming with life was now a sea of crimson with dead bodies from both toscans and yvarians.

"Why?" Kogen asked me with fear radiating from him. "Why Corlos?"

"I gave them mercy. Esgard is gone and everyone will only starve to death and start killing each other off when the time comes. I did them a favor."

Kogen stumbled back and fell onto the corpses.

"You...You—!"

This was going to be the start of a difficult conversation and I didn't have all the time in the universe to argue. More people needed to be killed.

I appeared in front of Kogen and pressed my dagger against his throat. "Tell me where Imjir is and you get to live another day."

The moon continued to hide behind the clouds and now I know why. 

The most silent objects knew more than one obnoxious fellow. Silence carried a great burden with it. 

"I will destroy Planet Eli and I will destroy it with joy."

 Death robbed me of my capability to love. It robbed me of my reason to believe in life.

No one will matter anymore. 

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A/N: Sad sad sad. The next update will be the last chronicle for Coco.