June March stood at the side of her house, her eyes trained on the route she would have to take to get into her bedroom through the window. The cut across her collarbone was now burning and itching, her eye pulsating in pain and her nose and mouth area feeling like a big jumbled mess of blood and pain. She was covered in dust and soot, from pulling Leon out of the fire and her stomach was starting to hurt from when he had pushed her. Not to mention she could hardly stop coughing, due to the smoke that she definitely had inhaled into her lungs. She was not feeling her greatest. And now she had to scale the side of her house and climb into her bedroom, hopefully without falling.

She started at the bottom, using the lattice fence that conveniently covered the side of the house that her window was on. It took every bit of strength in her to pull herself up, but she needed to get inside, because she was still bleeding, and she was starting to get lightheaded. Once she got high enough to get to the roof she pulled herself up, gasping and groaning in pain as she used her arms. She crawled across the top and then to her window, praying to whoever was listening that her window was unlocked. She pushed it open, squeezing her body through the small crack that her window guard allowed, the girl falling through and crumpling onto the floor. She groaned as she just stretched out there for a moment, feeling sweet relief as she pulled the hat over her eyes. She figured if she died right now she would probably be content with it, but then she remembered the backpack she had taken off to get inside, the girl sitting up and using the windowsill to pull herself up. She reached through the crack, grabbing the black backpack and forcing it through the window, some of it not wanting to come through. She groaned as she unzipped it, pulling the unraveled rope from the bag, the lighter fluid, the matches and finally the knife stained with her blood out of it before she could fit it through.

"That's probably the craziest thing I've ever seen you do." June screamed at the sound of the voice behind her, the girl quickly spinning around and pointing the knife at the culprit. Her heart skipped a beat when she realized who it was, JJ Maybank sitting on the edge of her bed with a wide eyed look and raised hands. "Calm down G.I. Joe it's just me."

"Fuck!" She lowered the knife, JJ taking this opportunity to really take her in. He hadn't seen her in two days, his eyes widening at how much she had changed in those two days. He jumped up from the bed, hurrying over to the girl who looked beyond worse for wear. "Jesus Christ how did you get in here?"

"Tyler let me in. What happened to you?" JJs hands cut through her personal space and he grabbed her by the chin, the girl grimacing as he turned her head to the side. A deep burning rage started to ravage him and he grit his teeth, seeing the bruise that was already starting to form around her eye. "Seriously Carly who did this to you?"

"You should see the other guy." She said, bringing her hand up to grab his wrist and pulling it from her face. He looked at her wide eyed and worried as she started towards her closet, the girl reaching inside for some different clothes. She couldn't wait until he turned around, reaching for the hem of the black hoodie and pulling it off. It was now that JJ saw the large bloody gash across her collarbone, his eyes almost popping out of his head as he started towards her again.

"How did you—"

"Don't touch me JJ! I'm serious." He was surprised by her hostility, but the second she had seen his face she had realized he was the last person she wanted to see right now, especially in this state she was in. She hadn't realized how two days of absence had hardened her heart against him, her stomach turning with resentment as his words bounced around her head.

I don't love you anymore.

"Why are you here?" She asked, grabbing the peroxide on her desk and squirting it onto her hand. She took a breath, spreading it across the cut on her chest and gritting her teeth. JJ felt a different anger in him, shaking his head at her resistance to his effort to care. She was cold, at least towards him, and she had been out doing god only knows what, trying to kill herself by going alone. Or at least he thought she was going alone. He could never be sure.

"I was sent to check on you. Nobody's heard from you in days." June realized she had neglected to check in with the group, the girl shaking her head as she used the hoodie to wipe the blood off of her wound. JJ stood behind her, his eyes on her reflection in the vanity mirror as a concerned look crossed his face. She didn't even seem to care. "Where the hell have you been? Other than fighting—ninjas apparently?"

"I've been busy. And this asshole isn't a ninja. He's just an asshole."  JJ shook his head at her words, his eyes going to the backpack she had pulled inside. He blinked a few times, remembering the last time he had seen her a few days before.

"So much for house arrest huh? So what you just lie to us now?" June let out an exasperated sigh, her eyes glued to her wound as she did her best to try and clean it up. She really didn't feel like explaining herself to him, but she gave him a half assed response, silently hoping that he would just leave.

"No...no I don't lie. There's just some things that have happened since the island that I just don't know how to explain okay?"

"I think you should try." He was say on the edge of her bed with his hands clasped in his lap, a condescending type of look on his face as he felt he was owed an explanation. But her sour mood wouldn't allow her to put up with him and his demands at the moment, she she turned around, JJ running his eyes over the front of her body.

"JJ out of everyone they could send to check on me, you came? This isn't about anything else? What do you want?" He tightened his lips into a straight line, sucking in a breath and then dropping his eyes to his hands. He closed them, spitting some truth out as she waited impatiently.

"I wanted to check on you. I was worried about you. Clearly for good reason." He figured this would go over well, but the unphased expression didn't change at all, actually retreating further into nonchalance and slight irritation.

"Well now you see me. I'm fine...you can go." JJ was taken aback by how cold she was, his stomach twisting in anguish as he looked at the girl he loved, treating him like he was just some guy. In her absence he had spent every waking moment thinking about her. He tried to regather how she could treat him this way, how she could act like nothing at all had ever happened between them. He wouldn't lie to himself, he wanted to drop to his knees and beg her to take him back right now, but he wasn't entirely sure if she would take him. Not with this newfound attitude she was sporting.

"How could you treat me like this?"

"How could I treat you like this?" She was shocked by the audacity it took for him to ask the question, her jaw dropping as she shook he head at him. "I'm sorry JJ, how am I supposed to be treating you? Tell me. Am I supposed to be treating you like a friend? Because we are sure as hell not friends right now. What were you—what are you expecting?"

"Maybe just a little bit of a better attitude. Maybe some explanation as to why you went radio silent for 2 days while everyone went around worried about you." Her pissy attitude was starting to earn his, June shocked by how arrogant her was acting. She didn't have to explain herself to him or any of them at all, especially not about what she had been doing for her family. She scoffed,  her neck starting to burn red as the anger started to flush her.

"A better att—JJ you are already pissing me off  so maybe it's just best if you leave yeah?"

"No. I'm not gonna leave. You clearly need help and I'm going to help you." He stood from the bed,  taking steps towards her. But she took steps back, shaking her head at him and holding her hand up. He felt a sting, the boy biting the inside of his cheek as he watched her refuse his help. He was terribly worried about her right now, given her new injuries and alarming bruises and cuts that she hadn't had the last time he saw her.

"No. You don't get to do that. You don't get to rip my heart out and then try to help me. You're right, it's been two days. It should've been longer before you felt comfortable enough to think I wanted to see you." Her words bit into his skin and he faltered, the boy not liking this version of her that he was getting. He missed his June, the one that loved him, the one that was kind and considerate and would actually speak to him. What he didn't realize is that he had made her this way.

"Just because we broke up doesn't mean I can-" June cut the boy off, JJ groaning as her words cut through his.

"Actually JJ that's exactly what it means! It means you can't sneak into my room in the middle of the night, and you can't worry about me the way you used to because  you decided that we weren't a good fit together and so we shouldn't be together. Breaking up means I go radio silent for two days and I don't have to tell you anything about it because we are not friends and right now I really do not like you." Her breaths were a little heavier now, JJ holding his ground as he processed her words. He didn't know what he had expected when he had broken up with her, but this was not it in any way. This was torture, pure hell, he was being iced out by the person he loved most in the world. He wondered for a moment if this was why Rafe was so in love with her, because she was driving him crazy and all he could think about was prevailing and winning her over. Maybe the brink of insanity was where he needed to be. However he looked at her with hurt filled eyes, trying to get though to her but realizing her needed to respect what she wanted.

"Alright. Alright." He ran a hand through his hair, the boy gearing up to think of some way to say sorry. He wanted her back right this instant, he had realized his mistake, but even JJ could see he had went too far with some of the things he had said to her, and he would not easily be able to win her over. "Alright."

June felt her knees weaken the longer she stood, her body fatigued from everything that it had been through and the rest it lacked. She hadn't had a good nights rest since the island, but now that she had saved her reputation and herself from blackmail, she assumed she would finally be able to sleep soundly.  She leaned against the vanity, JJ staring down at his hands as he sat in front of her. Her mission now was to figure out  how to get JJ out of here. They settled into a charged silence, JJ clearly wanting to keep asking questions and June not wanting to talk.

JJ was wracking his brain for what he could say to get his June back for a few minutes, because the one he was talking to was starting to scare him. He had only seen her this way once, after their fight at the Chateau. The difference between then and now was that they were still together then, and he had officially dumped her now. Her remembered the night that had followed his attempt at breaking John B out of jail, the way he had climbed through her window and they had tried to fix things. He remembered the way that she had screamed at him to not turn his back on her, the way she had fought so diligently for their relationship because she knew he was just angry.  Deep down he knew she would still do that, only if he hadn't said  that he didn't love her anymore.

JJ blinked a few times, running a hand over his face and letting out an exasperated sigh. He could see the other side of this so clearly,  but he couldn't get to it, every obstacle in the way of the unclear path. He had fucked it all up by breaking her heart, but he had destroyed everything by beating that final nail into the coffin. And while she forgave rather easily, this was something  he knew she would struggle with.

She shifted on the table, the boy looking up at her for a second. To make this all worse she was sitting in front of him shirtless, her bra keeping her modesty. Her black pants were riding rather low on her hips, and now that she had cleaned the blood up, she genuinely looked amazing. She crossed her arms over her chest and he bit the inside of his cheek, trying his hardest not to look as she finally broke the silence.

"What do you really want?"

"To apologize." She wondered if her going off the grid had given him the time and space he needed to realize the biggest mistake he had ever made was letting her go. She wondered if while doing all of the other things she was doing, she somehow managed to inadvertently solve another problem. She wondered if she could look into his eyes and see the regret clouding them, see the pain of losing her  swallow him whole. "June I—I made a mistake. I thought that ending things would make it easier but...I've spent the last two days physically sick worrying about you. I couldn't think straight because all I could think about was you. I couldn't sleep, I haven't slept since you left me in the beach and to be completely honest, I haven't eaten either. I don't—I don't know what came over me okay? I thought I was doing you a favor but I really just...I mean we already know I'm stupid alright? I know I fucked up okay? I didn't mean what I said. I really didn't."

But wondering and assuming didn't sound as good when they became reality. June looked at him as he attempted to gain her pity, her sympathy from something that he did to himself. She looked at him and felt her heart ache, the wave trying to crash through the terribly posted walls she had put up. Part of her wanted to give in, like every other time, like the last time he had done this, the last time he had said something he didn't mean.  She wanted to dropped to her knees in front of him and tell him all the reasons why it was okay, and she forgave him, and she wanted to move on and be okay again. But the other part of her was tired of hearing those words. I didn't mean it. She had heard them all too much recently, from JJ, from Rafe, from Zach. The common thread seemed to present itself as she looked at him and she felt a genuine breath of shock as she realized that  every important boyfriend she had had was almost exactly the same person. Maybe she wasn't thinking correctly, maybe her brain was jumbled and she was completely wrong, but her nose scrunched up and she felt disgusted by his attempt at proving how wrong he was, her heart clenching as her love for him hid itself again.

"I told you when you said it that there is no going back." His face dropped in some kind of shocked heartbroken expression and he looked at her as she stared at him with an icy look. "I meant that."

"I reall-"

"If you want me back then you're gonna have to try a little harder. Because I'm tired of giving myself away, just to be broken again. I'm tired. I am tired JJ!" His lip trembled as he looked at her, realizing that it wouldn't be easy to get her back, that he really had truly fucked it up and he would have to work for it.

"Why cant we just forget about it huh? Act like to never happened. I didn't mean it okay? I love you. I really do love you and I am so sorry that I-"

"I'm sick of the apologies. If you loved me so much, you wouldn't have hurt me in the first place. I trusted you! You broke that trust and now if you really love me and you really want me back,  then you won't mind earning it." She pushed up from the vanity, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she tried to keep her temper under control. She was exhausted from being treated like shit, and she wanted nothing more than to find relief. She pulled her dresser drawer open, a t-shirt in her hand as she kept her back turned to him.

"It's not—you know it's not that easy!"

"That's the point!" She said angrily, turning around with such invigorating  rage in her eyes that he was alarmed. His teeth grit as she looked at him with a glare that could kill, both of them seeing the same thing at the same time. The solution. He had to change this time...not her.  "Get the fuck out of here man."

JJ stared at her, his face red as his clenched jaw began to ache. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do, cross the room and kiss her, slap her, get on his knees and cry and beg for forgiveness. There were millions of other options but he sucked a shaky breath in, a conflicting feeling in his brain as he shook his head and turned towards her door. She watched him as he started to leave, her stomach in knots as he did. For a moment she broke, the rage subsiding just for a second as she watched him walk away. She wanted him. But she knew now that he was right. She did deserve better. She deserved a better version of him.

"We didn't get it by the way." He muttered, stopping with his hand on the doorknob, her anger being consumed by confusion.

"What?"

"The cross. It was a fake. We didn't get it." Deep down somewhere there was a snap, a burning flame igniting deep in her body. JJ left but she hardly noticed, her eyes glazing over and her vision blurring with a red cloud. If they didn't get it then she knew who did. Although it wasn't a guarantee, she had had expectations that she would prevail, another loss to Rafe going under her belt as she processed what had happened. He had won...again.

An ungodly infuriation became her, June making her way towards the closet. He had to have known. He had to have known when he let her believe she could trust him, when she had allowed herself to see him
for something that he clearly wasn't. When she had allowed herself a glimpse into weakness, a vice for all of her broken-heartedness. She seethed as he pulled the gun from where she had hidden it, her body guiding her and her mind fuzzy. She headed back towards the window, blinded by the pain and the overwhelming failure that was thrusted on her. She was tired of losing. She was going to fix this. No matter what.

:::

Terrible time for me to mention that I probably won't be updating for an entire week because I'm going on vacation...... lmao cliffhanger!!!

I want JJ to do some groveling and pining so sorry.

I need some feedback; how are we feeling?