The bustling noise of a partying crowd did little to soothe June March, the girl making her way towards the anniversary party of the Carreras. While Kiara was about the last person she wanted to confide in, she was too terrified to consider any other options, Kie was the only person that June could find that she knew exactly where she would be. She had felt isolated from the group since they had gotten back, unable to find that reconnect, to worry about the problems as harshly as they had because she had ones of her own. She was neurotic at this point, looking over her shoulder every few seconds. Hardy had been following her for months, someone else had broken into her house and found the medallion and given it to her. Something bigger was going on.

She walked through the yard, her eyes wide as she looked for any sign of Kie. However when she went around the side of the building she was surprised by what she saw. JJ and Kiara, seemingly in the heat of some kind of argument. Her stomach dropped and she felt pure relief in her, so happy to see him. She wondered if this was why he hadn't been answering, if this was where he had been but she figured surely it wasn't, because things looked tense. He had just arrived as well.

June jogged across the yard, sucking in a breath as she made her way towards the two of them. She didn't quite care about what they were talking about, although it looked serious. Kiara spotted her first and then JJ, their conversation stopping at the sight of her. She skipped the formalities and pushed into JJs arms, feeling safe for the first time all day. His face held one of shock and he slowly hugged her back, his eyes lifting from her shoulder to Kiara who was looking at them. She blinked a few times and then gave a tight lipped smile, the Carrera girl feeling her heart start to crack. She held back the hurt in her eyes and shrugged, turning away from the two of them and walking off. Every few moment she looked back, feeling physical pain in her chest at the fact that she could never be what June was to JJ. Even when she had just professes her love to him.

"You don't understand how glad I am to see you." June whispered into his shoulder, feeling the paranoia lessen in her body, the tension ease in her muscles. She was the one to pull back, holding him at arms length and giving him a meaningful look that really showed him how much she meant it. His eyebrows furrowed slightly but his gaze did not soften, whatever the conversation with Kiara was having put him in a sour and stubborn mood. "Why didn't you answer your phone?"

"I was busy. Actually I've been busy all day. Sorry I couldn't pick up my phone for your calls."  June could hear the irritated edge in his voice, but the relief of having him near her was relentless, so she continued on in a soft voice.

"It's okay I just...really needed you today. But you're here now and everything is better."

"Why?" She figured he wanted an explanation as to why she needed him, his furrowed eyebrows conveying a look of irritation.

"Listen I don't want to get into it right here because—" He cut her off, her fingers detaching from where she was holding his arms.

"Well you're not going to get into it anywhere else.  You won't tell me anything regardless." She felt an obligation to tell him, but she knew this wasn't the ideal setting. Instead she attempted to stress to him why she needed him without spilling her secrets in public, her eyes flickering across his face as she spoke.

"JJ I'll tell you everything I just—I'm—I'm really scared right now, I don't have anywhere to go and I feel like someone is watching me and-" He cut her off again, not impressed by how she had managed to avoid telling him what he wanted to know again.

"Jesus Christ someone watching you is the least of our worries right now okay? Big John got kidnapped by Singh and they took his ass to South America. That's a little more important than whatever shit you've got going on." She was stunned by his dismissal of her admittance that she was afraid, wondering where her JJ went and who this guy in front of her was.

"There is someone at my house. Someone broke in while I was asleep this morning and left the medallion and no one has been home for days and I'm so scared and you—you just left this morning without a word and I—" He chuckled dryly at her words, her jaw visibly clenching as he cut her off for a third time.

"Of course I left without a word. You know why? Because I got played."

"What?" She said in absolute shock at his words, her lips parting and her nose scrunching up as the conversation took a turn for the worse.

"I got played by you. You got drunk and so you invited me over as the safest option for you to satisfy your needs and you told me what I wanted to hear and I realized that this morning when I left." She looked into his eyes and found that he fully believed this, absolute astonishment crossing her face as she realized he had somehow spun the conversation to her being a piece of shit when she wasn't even talking about their relationship.

"What? JJ no—no you're not listening to me. There is someone trying to—" Her lips pressed into a straight line when he cut her off again, June realizing her temper could not withstand much more of this.

"Why—why would someone be after you? It doesn't make any sense." JJ was terribly under informed, his confidence in this argument stemming from somewhere she was unsure about.

"Singh! Singh is after me and so is—"

"No thats where you're confused. Singh is after Big John! You are meaningless in this whole thing! You're missing the big picture here!"

"Cut me off one more time I swear to God!" Her voice raised and she pointed at him, shaking her head as his eyes flashed with fear. She looked around and lowered her voice again, knowing they needed to calm down because they were in public. She dropped her arm, crossing her arms across her body and gripping her elbows. "I feel like I'm going crazy okay? I really need you to not be so much yourself right now and just listen to me! You're not listening to me!"

"No I'm listening. Trust me. I'm listening to you just brush over everything and all of our problems. I'm listening to you and wondering how you could use me for-for sex or whatever and feed these lies into my head that we can fix things and then just...just ignore it all! I'm listening but I'm tired of this. I'm tired of—you're draining! Being with you and around you and in your bubble is draining. And I want out. I want out! You are going crazy okay? I don't understand where you lost the point of all of this?! This isn't about you!" She brought her hands up to her hair, balling her fists into them and pulling at the roots. He watched her as she did this and felt like his claim that she was losing it was just being proven, the boy shaking his head as she started to speak again.

"Why?! Why cant it be about me huh? Why cant one goddamn person care about what is got going on with me?! Someone has been following me for months, I'm looking at you and telling you someone broke into my house and you're talking about our relationship problems JJ! And I'm the delusional one! How are you missing the big picture here? Something else is happening!"

"I can't do this." He shook his head, running a hand over his face and walking away. However he had to get another word in, he had to pack another punch. "I don't understand you. I don't understand this. What the fuck is going on?! On one hand I've got you who fucks me up in the head and you drive me crazy and we fight and we argue and all of this fucked up mess and in the other hand I've got Kie who's telling me she loves me, that she's here for me and that she understands what I'm going through. And I still...I still can't make the right choice here. Because it's so obvious what the right choice is! But you show up every time! Every fucking time! Did you ever stop to think maybe you're just a bad person? I'm starting to believe that more than whatever shit you're trying to spew today?"

"You're gonna mention Kie in front of me and tell me how she loves you and how much better a choice she is than me?!" June scoffed, her demeanor dropping to deadly calm as she looked at him. Her lips tightened into a straight line and she held a cold gaze in her eyes. "Let me blow a hole through that entire righteous thing she's got going on. You wanna know what happened? You wanna know just how in love with you she is?! When we got taken in Barbados she told Singh he could keep me as long as she got to go home! She outright leveraged my freedom for hers! She told him that I could stay and she could go. How much of a saint is she now?! Huh?! How perfect is she now? She's not! She's a fucking traitor. I put my life on the line for her! I went with her so she wasn't alone and she still threw me under the bus!"

JJ had a shocked expression on his face, his lips parted as he processed what she had said. His chest rose and fell with heavy breaths and he felt the pressure of anger take root in his body. He shook his head the tiniest bit, knowing she had no reason to lie about something like that but also not wanting to believe it. Could she really do that to June?

"Why didn't...you didn't tell anybody. How was-"

"I've been trying to tell you for weeks now! You're not listening! You don't listen!" She let out heavy breaths and shook her head, the thoughts in her head leading her to a decision on something she had been contemplating earlier. "You know what...you want out? You're out. Don't be surprised if you never hear from me again."

She turned away, feeling a serenity at her decision. She said it with a finality, truly tired of being neglected. She was tired of fighting for whatever they had, because it was so broken at this point that she wasn't even sure if she wanted it. When she got home she would book that flight, she would disappear and she would not look back. The decision was made. He had made it for her.

JJ watched as she disappeared out of his sight, his ribs aching from how hard his heart was beating against them. He had noted the sincerity of her words, and as much as he wanted to chase after her and apologize, he couldn't help but think maybe that was exactly where they went wrong. Maybe it was time he broke that vicious cycle of fighting and making up, fighting and making up. Maybe he just needed to let her go. His eyes scanned the crowd and landed in Kiara, a debilitating sense of betrayal and hurt towards her overcoming him. He tried to imagine how much it had hurt June, the girl who was an extension of his own heart, even when they treated each other like shit. He turned away from the party, his mind racing as she grappled with what he would do now. He had said he had wanted out so she allowed him, but he had figured by now that he knew he never really meant the things he said. What did she mean he wouldn't hear from her again? What did that mean?

JJ felt that instant regret that always flooded him, wondering why he couldn't just be calm, why there always had to be a problem. He wondered if letting her go could fix things, truly letting her go, but then he wondered if anything could really mend them, if anything would work at all. He wasn't so sure anymore. He sat on the edge of the nearest seat, closing his eyes and dropping his face into his hands. He mulled over the entire conversation again and only then did he realize that she was pleading for his help, begging him to listen to her. She was in danger. Someone was watching her. Someone broke into her house. It hit him with an urgency that her needed to get to her now, the boy springing up from his spot. However there was a commotion at the party, his head turning as he watched John B walk into the crowd. Straight towards Topper. He contemplated his decision but knew John B needed him right here right now, the blonde boy making his way towards his friend.

_______

They really need to work it out, they're both just wayyyy too stressed. They need to sit down and just talk through everything, set boundaries, work on trust. Let's hope they can get there.

another picture because I sometimes struggle with visualizing so it's nice to remember who I'm writing about.

Let me know what you think!