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Been living in a paracosm

all my life,

Just thinking about when I'll die

rather than being alive.

I am not living,
maybe it's just a lie,
Because at the end of the day
all I am doing is being alive.

Always overthinking,
like I don't matter to anyone,
Maybe this is the truth,
but to actually witness that, I won't be in the long run.

Someone once said,
"We ain't livin' past twenty-one",
Then why do all the books I read
make me feel like I'm already done?

I am too old for my age
yet I am just fourteen,
but no one tries to see
what's actually inside me.

Every single time I open my mouth,
only words filled with hate come out,
Just leading people to believe that I am not trustworthy,
but have they even seen me?

Being called 'over-mature'
all my life,
Trust me, I've tried enough,
to live like the other people, with an immature mind.

But I can't
because this paracosm doesn't let me,
And even if I spend all my life
trying to fix me,
I know I'll just die being alive here,
unfixed and broken into pieces of my existence.

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-about-

written: november 12, 2020

This is the third poem that I wrote when I was about 14 years old. Fun fact, this poem actually contained one or two swear words but I had to remove them because it didn't really look professional much. A bit too much, I know. I hope you guys enjoyed reading this poem Because this is literally how I feel every day.

-anyways, thanks for reading, people! do vote and comment if you liked it.-

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