Melody

At school the next day I noticed the whispers and hushed conversations. They were paired with either pitiful stares or accusing glares. Both made my skin crawl especially when I overheard what my peers were saying.

"Melody's lying about it all..."

"... hooked up in the bathroom at Veronica's party..."

"... made out at Veronica's..."

"... assaulted Melody at that party..."

"They totally did it in Veronica's bathroom!"

"... she said he sexually assaulted her..."

"The cops were here to take Diesel away!"

My head was spinning before first period. I sat through that class; my eyes glued to the desk while everyone's were glued to me. All I could do was try not to squirm under the pressure of it all.

As I walked briskly to my second class, I noticed Rose, Jennette, Veronica, the twins, and a couple jocks standing around by her locker as she reapplied her lipstick in the mirror. I held my breath, hoping they'd say nothing as I walked by. But luck is never on my side and a football player was the first to speak up.

"What you're doing sucks, you know," he said. His dark brown eyes were harsh. I glanced up in confusion. "Yeah, I'm talking to you. You're ruining Diesel's rep."

"You made out in the bathroom and feel guilty for cheating on White but deal with it yourself. Don't go spreading shit around," his buddy piped up.

"I didn't –" I started.

"You wanted him and now that you got him you changed your mind?" Jennette chimed in. "Don't think I didn't see you two flirting in art," she added, folding her arms across her chest. The jocks 'ooh'ed when she said that.

"Classic buyer's remorse," Rose smirked, putting the cap on her lipstick. "Hook ups don't come with receipts you know."

"We never–"

"Not to mention my parents now know all about it thanks to you," Veronica said.

"What do you mean?" I mumbled.

"The police were at my house looking for surveillance cameras or something to prove you're not a liar," Veronica replied.

"Did they find anything?" I asked, quietly.

"No! Now I'm like grounded for life! I thought you were cool!"

"Big mistake," Rose said, with a sarcastic laugh. She slammed her locker shut. "Just because a photographer worked hard enough to get a decent shot of her, doesn't mean it fixes the rest of her." She gave me a once over, making me feel uncomfortable in my baggy sweater and boyfriend jeans.

She started walking away from me, taking her posse with her.

"You got that right," Jennette smirked, walking by me.

The football players brushed by me as well, my body stiffening as they almost brushed my shoulder.

"Dunno what he was after," the one who spoke to me first said.

"She's nothing much to look at," another guy said. "Oh, there's the ass."

"Sweet." A bunch of laughter followed.

It took a moment for me to move, feeling completely horrified. I glanced around quickly at bystanders who caught the any of the conversation. Some smirked, others looked confused or sympathetic. I walked to my next class dreading the rest of the day.

People knew – or thought they knew – what happened and had strong opinions on it. They had strong opinions on me. I was the lying slut that was ruining Diesel's life.

By the time I got to the door of my second class, my chest felt tight and my eyes burned. I glanced at a couple people who were friends with Rose's group and made up my mind.

I turned around and strode down the hallway, finding myself back in the custodial closet from a couple days ago. This time I locked the door and sat down far away from it, hunched over, back turned. I gasped for air, my body shaking with anxiety and anger. I could barely think straight, my mind swirling with thoughts of the repercussions of reporting Diesel.

I felt like an idiot. A loser.

I couldn't even let myself cry because the shame seemed to block my tear ducts. I deserved some sort of punishment for not keeping everything to myself.

My body eventually tuckered itself out and breath slowly returned to my lungs. I sat in there staring, until the lunch bell rang. Then I stood up, dusted off my jeans and headed to the art room.

When I walked inside, it was empty, though Ms. Foster's stuff were on her desk, signalling she had just stepped out. I flopped down at my seat and rested my head against the desk. I replayed my encounter with Rose and the jocks in my head over and over, comparing what they thought happened to what really happened. I knew it was masochistic, but I couldn't help it.

The sound of footsteps pulled me out of my thoughts, and I looked over my shoulder to see who was entering the room. My shoulders slumped when it was Emma and I turned around.

"Wait Melody, I–"

"I don't want to talk to you," I muttered. I heard her walk further into the room, and the squeak of the door let me know she had pushed it, so it was ajar.

"Please, don't be mad at me," she said standing beside me. "I was only trying to help."

"I get to be mad," I said, facing her sharply. "You, Alani, and Noah were all mad at me over keeping the stupidest thing from you. But this means something. So, I get to be mad. I get to be upset that I didn't have a choice in telling someone about something that happened to me." I stood up, looking her right in the eyes. I could hear my voice quivering slightly, but I continued anyway. "I get to be mad that everyone is talking about me and making judgements on what they think happened because you told what happened. I. Get. To. Be. Mad."

"You're right. You do get to be mad," Emma replied. "But you also get to have your friends support you, because no matter what this sucks. You need people. And you have people. So, be mad at me. But I'm here."

I stared at her, feeling my anger towards her dissipate slowly.

"I should have asked you if you were ready to report it. I really am sorry," Emma said, searching my eyes. Her eyes were honest and sincere. My anger was dissolved with that and I sighed, exhaling it away.

"It's okay; I understand," I said, sitting down once again.

***

After school I went over to Carson's house. I felt absolutely exhausted but as we sat in Carson's room, I found myself simply staring blankly out the window. My brain barely registered the snow-covered pines and the leafless oaks, clustered together in the forest. I was looking but not seeing. However, I was so tired I couldn't bring myself to do homework much less anything else.

While Carson was doing his homework, I felt his gaze on me every so often, checking in, assessing how I was doing. After he finished up his homework, he came over and sat down next to me. "What are you thinking about?"

"Everything and nothing," I breathed as I shifted closer towards him. I snuggled into his side and sighed. "I'm tired."

"I know," he said softly. "Do you want to take a nap?"

"I can't," I whispered.

"What do you mean?"

"I–" my voice faltered as I considered telling him the truth. "I just can't."

Carson pursed his lips, watching my face. I sucked in a breath, like he was going to ask, and then let it go. "Let's watch a movie. Peter Pan?" he suggested.

"Okay," I murmured.

Downstairs, we settled into the couch after Carson popped the Peter Pan disc into the DVD player. Carson's mom brought out some snacks and put them on the coffee table for us. I smiled and thanked her, fully knowing I wouldn't be touching them with a long stick. There was variety; popcorn, vegetable slices with dip, Skittles, and chocolate covered almonds. But not even a cucumber could touch my lips, despite Carson's not so subtle attempts.

While I watched the movie, I felt myself zoning in and out of it. I would get dangerously close to sleep and would jerk awake afraid to dream. I could tell Carson was watching me, so I shifted, trying to block my face with my hair. I pulled my legs up to my chest and straightened my back, hoping it would prop me awake. And it did.

When the movie was over, Carson hit the power button before he turned to face me. He reached out softly and pushed the hair out of my face. I looked at him gingerly.

"So, tomorrow's Valentine's Day," Carson started with a smile. I struggled to keep a small smile on my face, since I had totally forgotten about it. "Don't stress or anything... I just thought we could do something fun to take your mind off of everything."

"Okay," I smiled.

"So... feel like going to school tomorrow?" Carson asked with a mischievous grin on his face.

"My favourite place on earth? We can't miss that!" I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm and false enthusiasm. Carson laughed. I smiled too, excited to spend a day away from school tomorrow with Carson. However, I was planning my late-night trip to Walgreen's in my head, as I totally needed to get a Valentine's Day gift.

__________

Author's Note:  Hi! Took a little long but here it is! I hope you liked this chapter! Let me know what you think! And what you think might happen next! I love reading all your comments! They make my day!

Hope everyone's well! Stay hydrated, take ya vitamins, get some sleep!

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