𝗦𝗧𝗢𝗟𝗘𝗡  ˘͈ᵕ˘͈
⋆ ࣪. ᵕ̈ 💧𝙹𝙰𝚈𝙰 

𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗺𝘁;
Nya steals something valuable from Jay,
the boy she finds absolutely annoying.

𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗺𝗲𝗿;
cringe-worthy
disgustingly unfunny

⛈🐚⚓

A familiar voice screamed into my ears, making me flinch, pulling the phone far from my ears. The voice belonged to none other than Jay Walker, the loudest, most annoying, boy in class whose voice could make one's ears bleed to deafness. A simple 'what?' would've been more pleasant, but no, this was him. He had a talent for being downright stupid, so of course, he just had to hyperventilate and scream a 'what?' at the top of his lungs as if I had confessed I was responsible for his alive mum's murder.

"You stole it."

His tone was accusing, and I could only imagine his face. I somewhat wished he had decided to come storming to my house instead of giving me a call, but at the same time, the thought absolutely horrified me. There were lots of advantages if he did, such as me being able to see the pricelessness in his undoubtedly tomato face, but I was thankful he didn't. Someone as mad as him wouldn't hesitate to bring a knife to threaten me, but then again, he'd accidentally stab himself halfway to my house. The only weapon he'd be capable of handling would be a bread knife.

"My precious," he whispered, voice cracking mid-sentence as if he was about to burst into tears. I wouldn't be surprised if his overemotional self decided to bawl his eyes out, crying out for his mummy in a voice that sounded like a baby that had gotten through puberty. "The love of my life. My precious. Gone." The last word was barely a whisper, but since my phone was pressed against my ear, it was heard loud and clear. A moment of silence fell upon us, and like always, he was the one who broke it. "I know you did it."

Brows raised slightly, an amused smile conquered my lips. "You sound so sure of that."

"How could you?" he whispered. "How could you steal it away from me?" I kept my lips shut, rolling my eyes, arms crossed, as I prepared myself for another blabbering session. "My precious. It's one of a kind," he paused, "and you had the nerve to take it away from me - the only thing that keeps me sane. I'm nothing without it. Nothing." Yawning, I set down the phone and put it on speaker.

Although I found him the complete definition of annoying, there was something about him that pulled me towards him like a magnet, and instead of hating him, my feelings for him were the opposite of that. It wasn't a crush, nor anything close to one. It was something else, but I couldn't put a finger on it. He was as irritating as Kai, or worse, yet, he was capable of making me feel all sorts of things. Capable of making me feel a million and one emotions at the same time. Emotions that were thought to be impossible combinations; anger and happiness, annoyance and amusement.

"Why? What did I ever do to you, Nya?"

"Everything."

"Like what?"

My eyes landed on the books and papers scattered across the wooden desk, and I shrugged. "Stopping me from finishing my homework," I replied, a smirk plastered onto my lips as I pushed the chair backwards, resting my crossed feet on the tabletop. "There are more, and it would take days for me to list them all out for you, so I'm not going to."

"Has anyone ever told you just how annoying you are?"

Brows raised, my smirk faded, replaced with a deadly scowl capable of sending someone to their doom. Seconds passed, and my expression soon morphed into cheerful one; a large smile stretched upon my lips, but not large enough to reach my eyes. "Aww, we're such kindred spirits," I said over enthusiastically, sarcasm dripping from each and every word spat out of my mouth, before muttering, "I could say the same to you."

"Says the thief."

"I love you."

"Really?" he asked instantly, the tone of his voice gentle, almost as if my statement had an effect on him, which it probably didn't. Still, I felt a shiver run down my spine, and a broad grin made its way to my lips. Not that I meant it.

"No," I chuckled, picking up the pen laid on my Math book, before doodling a circle in the center of the paper that had been placed in front of me, drawing two more at the upper part of it. A wide 'U' was drawn at the bottom, a pig-like nose in the middle. As I proceeded in completing my magnificent work of art, Jay continued complaining about his precious, and as he did, my mind went wandering around, snickering once in a while.

As though he was aware of the rather interesting portrait I drew of him, his rambling came to an abrupt stop, allowing me to burst into a fit of laughter, hands clutching my aching stomach. "What's so funny?"

"Your face."

"My face?" he scoffed. "Have you seen me wake up in the morning?"

"Yes."

"Then, you'd know just how perfect I look," he boasted, whilst I let out a sarcastic hum. "Wait, what did you say just now?"

"What?"

A gasp was heard at the end of the line. "Y-you stalker!" he screeched, and if my phone weren't on speaker, I would've gone permanently deaf. "Not only did you freaking steal my precious, but you also stalk me like the psychopath you are! How are your parents not aware of these signs? You are obviously a mad person with mad obsessions about every single perfect being they come across, and you probably have a thing for my grandma too!"

"No I don't-"

"You probably spend your nights sleeping under my bed, or worse, you probably stay up staring at me with those large blue eyes of yours, hair messed up, face inches away from my gorgeous face," he paused, as if something had dawned upon him, "no wonder my breath reeks in the morning. It must be the germs from your saliva when you drool at me; some of your saliva must've gone to my mouth." In an instant, spitting sounds were heard from the speaker, and in that moment, I felt my breakfast go up my throat. "That's how you managed to steal my beloved precious!"

"I can't believe you call your old, stained, white hoodie, 'precious.'"

"White? It's blue. You should go get your eyes checked," he suggested, his voice laced with annoyance. "And it's not old."

"Okay."

"Could you, by any chance, return my precious at 12 am today?"

"No."

The call ended.

a/n

This is definitely not angsty. I don't even know what to call this. It's pretty random and meaningless. What I do know is that this is a rewritten version of a cringe-worthy one-shot I wrote in either 2019 or 2020.

I guess the one shot is supposed to be funny...? Idk if it is cause humour, although I manage to make people laugh mostly unintentionally, is not my thing. This book is basically something I use to test out my writing, experiment with popular book prompts, and attempt to write a genre I've never written before.

But tbh, this one-shot reminds me of the books I wrote when I was twelve.

edit: istg I write better humour now this oneshot is ancient