IF YOU HAVE... READ ON.

Tip: Listen to Conrad Stewell Start again as you read this. Trust me, it does wonders. Please please vote.*winks* I'll be watching you. *evil magical grin* 

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 Blank. Blank. Still blank. My mind was blank. I didn't have the slightest idea what I was supposed to think. A billion questions and thoughts would have all erupted in my head, my knees going weak and wobbly. 

Help.

Help.

Help.

But all I stubbornly said was,"he never told me". I just wanted her to leaved me alone and get the anti-social message. 

But no, instead...."HE TOLD EVERYONE ON DAY 1," Tina shrieked in more panic and frustration than rage. She was crying again now tears flooding down her face," if you had actually cared f-for him, you would have known. I was r-right after all. Bloody liar."

Right about what? Not that it mattered anyway. 

Help.

And then she half turned away as if she couldn't bear to look at me and said something that shattered my heart with guilt,"And you know what? Her name... was one he... Could never quite forget. Oh- and by the way, Happy Birthday Julia". 

Once the words came out she opened her mouth and then closed it again before fleeing through the small garden gate with a creak. 

I staggered onto the pavement. I was now drowning but breathing air, but still drowning. No he didn't, inner me logically and stubbornly defended. He didn't tell anyone at the assembly... I had been... Wait a sec... I had been.. Staring... At his face. His face, the assembly, saying something, not listening. The truth hit me like a ton of bricks. My eyes widened in realization. Every single thought seemed to knit together now, my mouth forming a small O. 

I remembered now. He had been saying something at the intro assembly but I hadn't been listening. Me, stupid me. I hadn't been paying attention. I had missed out on my biggest mistake. My thoughts knotted together and plummeted into shock and this sick feeling. Collapsing, I slumped against the wall, my head feeling faint. Oh My God. What the hell have I done?

Everything dawned on me in horror, a continuous nightmare flash back, a giant puzzle solved to reveal his secret that I hadn't heard. 

 *flashback starts*

 *He said something else but I had been too busy remembering every detail for myself and probably drowning myself in jealousy for whoever his girlfriend would be.*

 *While I once again(as usual) mentally scolded myself for being so socially awkward, I noticed he broke his glance and stared down, almost as if he had just remembered something bitter.*

 *You have amazing acting skills", he said. You too", I mused back; and he slightly flattered.*

 *And 4)..." He trailed off. Wow. He's so observant... not to mention correct. I still wanted to know what the other reason was.*

 *His (stunning) face became distant and Thomas stared into nowhere saying,"... I am.... scared of... snakes." But those eyes betrayed his guarded emotion and I knew his was lying.*

 *Anger wasn't quite the word to discover it. It was... Frustration mixed with hurt and something else* 

*And she hissed once she laid eyes on me...*

*It was like she trying to warn/remind him of something. He shuddered and those eyes went dim.* 

*"Um... I like red velvet cupcakes", I said. "You do! Just like...." He trailed off again. Just like what, I wondered.* It hadn't been about Tina.

 *He recoiled as if I had hit him. Okay. I mean I obviously did hit him, but something else hurt him a lot more*

 *"J-Julia", his voiced cracked painfully,"P-please." His eyes glazed over with this begging look and he murmured something like: not again but I still delivered the final blow.* 

*Tina's look of despicable hatred*

*I didn't trust you! And I was correct!*

 *I was right after all....* 

 *end flashback*

 What have you done, Julia?

"Thomas," I murmured, even if I knew he obviously couldn't hear me," I'm so so sorry." That hurt look in his eyes. The way they glazed over with unknown pain when I had hit him. He had to go through that all over again. My gaze slowly lingered and I stared, my vision swimming, at the basket wrapped in plaid and ribbon, quiet tears trickling down my cheeks as I undid the laced ribbon. I prepared myself for the worst and gaped in sad horror and growing guilt. 

Staring back at me in a slight crooked and wilted smile were 5 home-made, perfectly frosted red velvet cupcakes with red love heart sprinkles, a sweet smell filing the air. I could picture him baking these, see the flour sifted onto the kitchen wooden bench top, see him retrieve them with that sweet smell wafting through the air. I felt salt rubbed into the wound, the hole in my heart I was desperately trying to mend.

Far out. Now I knew why he had asked what my favorite cupcake was. Ugh, what an idiot I had been! The feeling to gouge my eyes out was now a very good exception.

I deserved it, what a horrible horrible person I was. A bloody liar, she had said.

With a small falter on the doorstep, I started to cry, with the sun light filtering through the fence. I didn't normally spill my emotion like this but never had the tears felt so satisfying. Wrapped up in sorrow where I had built the walls so high; no one could climb. Cried about everything. Cried about how I cursed with the same face that broke his heart. Revised, I did break his heart. Cried though the time healed me. Cried about how my mum hated me. Cried about my promise. 

My promise, my promise that I wouldn't let anyone or anything hurt him. And I was right. I hadn't let anyone one had hurt him. No. I had hurt him myself. I had broken my own promise and that in itself was... Unforgivable.