I got no sleep last night, completely haunted by what I had done. No. I wasn't going to keep away. I was going to go and fix things up. Apologize. Beg for forgiveness, let him know I was sorry. I knew he wouldn't forgive me that easily, but hey. When I wanted something, I would do just about anything to get that something. This was my doing and my fault, well 90% my fault. I lugged myself out of bed in a Monday morning, my bed hair poking out everywhere. I tripped over and stubbed my toe on the carpet. Ugh! This was karma coming back for me. I deserved it anyway.

I had been tossing and turning all night thinking about this tough situation I was in. Ugh. What was this so complicated! I was very, very annoyed. And so I acted in the most mature way possible. By throwing a hissy fit, punching my pillow venting my anger on my food by stabbing my waffles with more force than necessary. Yep, being mature with Julia. Then as I was just putting on my school blazer, Myra texted to me reminding me it was mufti day today! Oh crud. Now I was running late! If I was going to talk to him it had to be before class.

I picked my outfit really hurriedly. 

Um... Um... Choose quickly! Button up blue shirt, blue denim jacket, white skater skirt that brushed my knees and a thick dark brown fishtail belt. I tossed my brown hair out of its night time plaits so it fell in soft ringlets to the side. Finally, I have taught my hair well. To finish, a sweep of lip gloss, mascara and nude colored combat boots. Even with concealer you could still see the sleep I was currently deprived of in my eyes. I didn't dare touch the evil-looking eyelash curler. Finally, I grabbed my mint green satchel and hurried out the door, and scrambling towards the school in a jog/awkward run. 

I got there just in time, but I couldn't see him at all. I didn't even know if he was here or if he'd want to look at me. Then just as the bell once again blasted my ears off as it always did, I caught a flash or ginger amber hair throughout the crowd. Yes! I started trying to make my way towards him, but right at that moment, the stampede of kids flocking to class started to push through me. It was like trying too swim against a river of bodies, hair and makeup. Towards the end I gave up disappointed and trudged towards the library for English with the swop. 

 Amongst the boring fluster of reading books and assessments worksheets mid-term, I was still looking to my right a lot. Because, in the corner of the armchair, a knee propped up and a book in his other hand, Thomas was fast asleep, that curtain of hair veiling his eyes. He was wearing a t-shirt and black leather jacket that matched his dark jeans. Wow Julia, stalker much. His breathing was slow and steady, a small smile playing on those lips. I found myself myself giggle at the faint stain of red cooking dye on his nose. But then I stiffened immediately seeing through his beauty. Those eyes looked really tired though, dark circles pasted beneath them, slightly puffy. I had caused that. That was a painful reminder of what my goal was. Sorry. 

Then Beep Beep went the iPhone's alarm on Ms Swop's desk.

"Class, hand in your papers for marking," came her silky voice. 

My heart froze. Not for myself, the test was rather easy but for Tomm-Thomas, there in his hand was the booklet, all blank. He hadn't even written his name on it to start off with. He was straight up going to fail. Period. My instincts turned on and before I knew it, I had scribbled something on my paper just as the teacher started towards us. Last of all, I swiftly gave a kick under the desk into Thomas's knee. He woke with a startled grunt looking around confused, and then tore his gaze away once he realized it was me. Great, now he couldn't even look at me. I handed in the papers slightly disheartened.    

Then towards the end, the teacher handed back the papers. I felt really depressed when I saw the big red dreaded circle with a zero, but I knew that overall I would still pass with the other assignments we had  done. But then Ms Swop announced," will Thomas be come to the front for receiving the highest overall score?" What?! I would have got the highest overall score?! I couldn't help but feel my chest swell with pride and slight jealousy as Thomas uneasily moved to the front, looking really uncomfortable but definitely confused. Then he looked at 'his' paper and his eyes widened in shock, though thankfully he kept quiet. I kicked myself in stupidity. Of course he would know what my handwriting looks like! At least maybe that way I have a right to say something. I would understand if he still hated me, he had to know I was sorry. He deserved someone who wouldn't break his heart. I stared down at my sheet but couldn't stop giving a slight smile to myself. This had been so definitely worth it.

Then towards the end, he came to me and simply said,"erm... Thanks." I could sense the emotion and hurt he was trying to keep out of his voice, and in that moment I wanted to hug him. This was my moment to explain everything. But he was already walking away, Tina by his side her arm looped around his. 

"Thomas! Thomas!" I began to call pushing through the wretched crowd to him. He kept walking, seemingly oblivious to my calls. Then I pulled the wild card. "Tommy!"

He winced and spun around to face me. He he, I thought. Now that got his attention, but then I faltered at the hidden hurt he was trying to hide in those cinnamon eyes. It was so so very easy to forget how much I had hurt him, which made me hurt even more. 

"What 'dya bloody want?" he bluntly asked, annoyance flooding his voice facing me though his gaze was on the floor. 

I  faltered and  stuttered on my perfectly rehearsed words. Dang it. A few seconds passed with me mumbling gibberish. His head dipped even lower and with a cracked,"Bye Julia," he slipped away pulling Tina along with him. I clutched my heart in regret. Now you've done it.

I opted for the most healthy lunch. I grabbed the first cupcake from the box and started furiously munching on it, as though if I chewed hard enough all my problems would be somehow magically solved. They tasted as amazing as they looked, but I didn't have the luxury of time to fully enjoy them. I was still thinking about how I stuffed up so badly. Honestly Julia. Did you honestly expect him to pine over you after you shoved his heart down the toilet drain and drowned it in gasoline?! Gosh. And even worse, I would only see him at the end of the day. I had no idea where he hung out with her. And then Tina walked past, her eyes pinning daggers into my skin. Then I saw where she was going, Because sitting in the corner on the floor looking emotionally distressed was  Thomas. He irritatedly shrugged off Tina's hug and quickly stalked off wiping his eyes as he did, with Tina in pursuit. I shuddered and looked down, suddenly losing my appetite, knowing this was going was going to be much harder than I thought. 

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