You know what? The days passed so quickly. It was kind of funny in a very unfunny way. Thomas, hadn't talked to me for days and was hanging out with Tina instead. I had known it was coming, but it didn't mean my heart hurt any less. And everyday, I felt like part of my heart died. Just a little bit.

I had gigantic puffy eyes that even the best concealer in the market couldn't conceal. A reminder I shouldn't have cried myself to sleep. Weird, I wasn't normally the one to cry.

Another week and 2 days had passed, I could see that Thomas kind of wanted to hang out with me, but Tina wouldn't let him. Why Tina. He would always glance at me as if he was unsure and then Tina would swoop in and distract him with a question and a glance, her eyes staring at me with disdain. I wondered what she would tell him behind my back. Sadly though, everyone found them to be the perfect couple. And soon, all the hurt and sorrow had turned into hate. I had focused on my studies but getting 10 A+'s and 20 100% grades couldn't satisfy what I needed. A hug.

I was thinking about this in English, listening to Jealous by Labrinth, and facing my entire body to the left so I didn't have to face a certain someone on the right. I must have been very obviously daydreaming because Ms Swop(God, I was so sick of her) said,"Julia, what do you have to say about this topic." 

Huh? What on earth was going on? I snapped out of my daze and blankly looked around, my eyes focusing on the board: Are all friends true friends. Right, I mean, we were after all focusing on emotions and expressing ourselves. The answer was easy and I knew exactly what to say:

"Uh. No. They're not". That was it right. Now just to blend back int-

Then someone spoke up, a voice I had tucked into the back of my mind, to forget. "But it is a Yes. Friends are true friends. You just have to choose carefully what you consider to be a friend."

Thomas. I was not going to go down... Town.. Around. Never mind. I bit back cursing and retorted,"Oh yeah? How do you know they are true. Define what 'true' means? Don't they talk behind your back about things they want you to improve on?"

"But-" And before long, you could have guessed we were in an all out serious debating war. 

Rebutting rebutts and bringing out more and more reasons. Well that escalated quickly. Thomas was on the affirmative, and I on the negative. But there was an obvious stark difference in our attitude. All his answers were polite,calculated, smart and intelligent. Yes. Mine however had been laced with personal pain, and anger that fueled every single vile reason. I hoped each word let him know how hurt I was. How much pain I went through when I saw him... Smiling and laughing, with another I didn't know what hurt more. The fact that he was forced to avoid me or the fact... It's hard for me to say. I was just, jealous of the way, he seemed happy without me.

I have been told that when I snapped or hated some one, I really hated that someone. But I didn't hate him. I really loved him. Which... I guess only made me hate him more. The surprised confusion wasn't evident on his goddaming smart face. But I saw those feelings in his eyes. Okay, he was standing right next to me but still... The class was in what I called stunned silence, their eyes darting around at our battle/duel, Ms Swop unsure whether or not to stop it.

I was actually getting really tired standing up and talking so I just I shrugged and rounded off my argument. Like hey, I may being having some relationship troubles but I still am lazy. Actually on a second thought, it wasn't lazy. It was power-saving mode. Back to reality now, I spat,"I am just saying, that some true friends just don't know how much pain other true friends go through each day."

That ended it, although Thomas remained quiet for the rest of the lesson. Deep in thought as usual, I could sense his knee was propped up like he did when he was thinking but I didn't want to check. I couldn't even look at him, and even though our elbows were practically touching; I'd never felt so apart. Well he deserved it, sort of.... Maybe... Gah! Why were my feelings so screwed up! At the end as soon as the bells had blasted my ears and announced the weekend, Thomas hastily walked out to me and offered to walk me home. The walk wasn't short but I just felt like it. I wondered if she would come over. And she did.

Tina, came over, protective and everything. This pleading look on her face and shaking her head violently, her eyes wide. It was like she was trying to warn/remind him of something. He shuddered slightly and those eyes went dim. But he persisted to ask me, ignoring her with a dismissing wave. I nodded in silence, as she walked away anxious. As we started walking home, I felt insanely bitter towards him. You should let him have it, inner me tormented and told me darkly. Let him see what you feel, it said. It wouldn't hurt anyone if I did. And so I plastered a sickly sweet smile on my face and we walked home in silence. One oblivious and unconcerned, preparing to ask what was wrong with a smile. The other figuring out how to permanently end that smile.

—————————

So what do you think. Yay or nay? Just a warning, things will get pretty... INTENSE over the next few chapters so brace your self(Dun dun dun!). It would seriously make my day if you commented and voted. Its just like a pat on the back and who doesn't like pats on the back? Exactly. Also check out Jealous by Labrinth, it just seems suitable at this stage in the story. K Byee.