4th ∞

Yesterday felt like a dream. 

You know that feeling you get when you had such a great, fun day that it felt as if it never happened in the first place? It felt like that to me. Every time I managed to have a conversation with Stranger, I felt myself grow more fond of him staying by my side. It's almost as if I was ready to accept him as a friend. 

But, wait. 

What if he isn't what I thought he would be? What if, once I get to know him more, he becomes someone totally different? That was what I was afraid of. I had a paper heart, meaning, one wrong event could make me see things differently and I could and might never be the same ever again. 

One of a wrong event was enough. I didn't need another one coming by soon. 

I had a wall because I have been traumatized. I had a wall because I was afraid of getting hurt again. When you had a heart made out of paper that could be easily torn and ripped apart by anyone whose name has been written on it, I'll only end up hurting myself. 

I looked down at my bowl of naengmyeon and shook my head. I shouldn't let Stranger get to my head. If I thought of him more, the more I would get attached to him. I don't want that to happen because, after all, we were only strangers. 

Then my mind went across the thought of the deal we made. He said that if we magically met up again for the fourth time, we would have to introduce ourselves to each other. I wonder what his name was. I wonder what his life is like. I wondered about a lot of things but I told myself not to because it wasn't like we were going to magically met again. That's nonsense. They're fun to read in books, but to actually experience it felt as if it's just part of a dream—your imagination. 

I shook my head once again and told myself to concentrate on my lunch. I was currently at home, still in my sleep wear because I didn't really have any plans of going out today. Today's weather was to the extreme that it would be better if I stayed home with the air conditioning all day. 

While I was enjoying my bowl of naengmyeon, I suddenly heard an unpleasant sound. My head rose up and my eyes widened as I turned around to look at the air conditioning right behind me. I let out a groan and fell back in my chair. 

Great. The air conditioner broke. 

I must have overused it these days since the weather kept getting hotter and hotter. I put my chopsticks down and tried to see what the problem was but who was I kidding? I wasn't a technician. I couldn't do anything about it until my parents returned from Jeju Island—which wasn't any time soon just yet. 

I let out another frustrated groan before clearing out the my lunch and getting changed into cool clothing after a nice bath. I wasn't keen on exposing myself, so I just wore a simple oversized t-shirt and shorts. I wasn't going to stay at home now that the air conditioner is busted. I needed to go somewhere that was cooler. I thought about going swimming in the public pool but that wasn't fun if I didn't have any friends with me. I'd just end up looking like a loner. 

There was place left on my mind, if not the public pool—Han River. I could order myself some fried chicken and relax under the shade of a tree. It was the perfect plan, and so, I set off for Han River. 

∞ ~ ∞ ~ ∞

At Han River, there were so many families out on picnics, couples on dates and younger people riding bikes to relieve themselves from the burning hot weather of summer. I brought my picnic mat and set it under a tree and took out a fan to fan myself with. I wasn't a fan of sweating, which was why I wasn't too into summer. 

I brought my legs up to my chest and continued to fan myself with one hand. Since it was starting to get even hotter, I removed my hair tie and decided to tie my hair into a clean bun instead of a ponytail. It was lighter and breezier this way. 

I tried to stay cool but with the summer only filled with the hot sun shinning on us, it was hard to attain that. Since I was at Han River, the only best option left was to order delivery to get my mind distracted from the summer heat. 

I took out my phone from my pocket and dialed the number of this chicken restaurant my family and I frequented. 

"Hello, this is Sarang Chicken. How may I help you?" a voice asked on the other end. 

"I'd like to order a box of chicken. Half spicy, half sweet and sour. Both fried please. Oh, and make it boneless chicken," I ordered, still fanning myself. Why did summer have to be so hot?

"Nae. Location right now?" 

"Han River. Just call this number again and I'll tell you where I'll be waiting," I told the person on the phone. 

"Okay. Your delivery will be ready and will arrive in less than one hour," they said. 

"Sure." I ended the call and just waited for my delivery to arrive. As I did, thoughts of this summer never ending kept entering my mind. This summer wasn't going to well, for me. 

In less than thirty minutes, my phone began ringing. It was from an unknown number but I decided to pick it up, since it was most likely that it was from the chicken delivery dude. 

"Hello? Is this the phone number of the person who ordered chicken from Sarang Chicken?" 

Yup. My guts were right about that. "Yes, it is. I'm sitting somewhere near the river, right under the tree. I'm alone and I'm wearing a bun. If you still can't find me, I'll go to you," I said, looking around to see if I could spot the delivery guy before they spotted me. 

"Okay. I'll try to find you. I'll call you again when I can't find you," they said on the other line. 

I really didn't want to get out of my seat under the shade when I finally cooled down and wasn't sweating as much but if that delivery guy can't find me, I'd have no choice but to get up and find him. I didn't want to, but for the sake of my chicken, I had to. 

But before that, I sat down and waited, in hope that I'd see the delivery guy soon. 

Then I saw someone familiar and my eyes flickered. No. Not now. 

He was looking around, in search for something—or most likely someone. I tried to keep my head lowered but his outfit was what was making me want to call out for him. 

His eyes also settled on me. Then he broke into his usual toothy grin as he slowly approached me. "Stranger! Fancy seeing you here." 

Yes, of all the people I could see in this crowded place, it had to be him. The very Stranger I was trying to avoid seeing for the coincidental fourth time. This is where our deal will take place. 

What horrified me the most was the fact he was wearing a Sarang Chicken delivery uniform. Don't tell me...

"So what are your plans today?" Stranger asked, still looking around. "I'm trying to find a customer, currently. Want to help me find her?"

I wanted to gulp. He couldn't be... could he?

"She said she was waiting somewhere around here." Stranger looked around even more then his eyes were back on me. "She was alone, waiting under a tree and in a bun..."

No, no, no, no. Of all people I had to meet—of all people who had to deliver my chicken, actually. It had to be him? The person I was trying my hardest not to grow fond over? 

"Wait!" Stranger said, realizing something. "It's you, isn't it? This is your delivery, isn't it?"

I regretfully nodded. "Yeah, um, I'll just hand you the money for this and you can leave."

Stranger didn't handed me my delivery just yet. He smiled and sat down on my picnic mat with me. "Now we've met for the fourth time coincidentally, aren't you forgetting something?" 

Right. The deal. I didn't want to, though. My heart that was made of paper... I couldn't risk even knowing his name. 

"Hi, I'm—"

I shoved the money into his hands and looked away. "Just take it and go."

Stranger frowned at me. "Don't you want to know who I am? My name, at least? I want to know yours."

"Stranger, just because we met more than once does not ever mean that we're destined to be anything. We're only strangers that see each other often. Kind of like schoolmates who see each other everyday. There isn't a need to know everyone's names," I explained to him. 

That's right. Keep those walls up, Yeoreum. I can't let my paper heart get torn twice. 

Stranger wasn't convinced enough. "It's not wrong to want to know someone's name. It's not wrong to want to get to know them, too. Why are you so against people wanting to get to know you?"

I have my insecurities. I have my reasons. But they weren't worth discussing with someone I didn't know. "I have my reasons."

"How do you expect to make friends at this rate?"

"I do make friends and I do have friends," I told him. "But just because I see you more than once does not mean we will be friends."

"So you just pick who you want to be friends with?" 

"If you say it that way, it obviously makes me look like the bad person," I told him. "You should go. You might get in trouble with your boss for not getting back earlier. I already paid you and everything is good now. You should go."

Stranger didn't look like he was going to give up. "Stranger, I will return shortly. This is my last task before my shift ends so I will be coming back. You better not leave. I still have things I want to ask and talk to you about."

Before I could protest to him about it, he had already picked up everything he needed to take and ran. There was no use anymore. 

Could I simply run away before he got back? But where else could I have gone? It was summer and I wasn't up to changing places whilst walking under the merciless bright sun. I had no other choice but to deal with my horrible fate. 

Fate. 

That thing has been playing with my life a lot lately.

∞~∞~∞

As much as I wanted to run away before Stranger would come back, I didn't. Mostly because I was too lazy—with the heat and all—and partly because I wanted to talk to him again. I may not admit it nor show it, but I do enjoy his presence. 

And that was very bad. I shouldn't get attached to things that will never last. I already had the feeling he wouldn't last. Why would I try so hard for someone who had his own life? 

I stared at the box of chicken. There was still some left and even if I told myself that I had leftovers because I was too full to eat it all, part of me knows that I only had leftovers because I wanted to save some for him to eat. He worked hard under the hot summer sun and heat, after all. 

There it goes. The walls were slowly breaking down, brick by brick. That wasn't a good sign at all. If I cared for him, eventually I'll worry about him and... I didn't want to think too far about it. 

"Hey!" a voice greeted, running towards my direction.

Of course, I wasn't surprised to see Stranger finally popping out and greeting me. He was sweating and that gave him manly charms. He sat down on the picnic mat and fanned his face with his hand. 

Not really looking at him, I shoved a bunch of tissues into his hand, the same way I did when I gave him the money for the chicken.

From the corner of my eyes, I could see Stranger smirking. "Oh, so you do care about me."

I rolled my eyes. "It's an act of kindness. Don't mistake it as flirting. Gosh, the world doesn't even remember what kindness is all about anymore?"

Stranger, like usual, smiled an amused smile. "I wasn't saying you were flirting with me."

"Don't lie. Your eyes gave away a lot," I told him, pushing the box of chicken he delivered to me earlier. "Here, eat some. I couldn't finish them. I didn't want these to go to waste, too."

"You know you're cute in small ways, right?" Stranger told me. 

That wasn't good. A letter was already being scribbled on this fragile, paper heart of mine. I had to erase it with all I could.

"O...kay?" I needed to appear disinterested as much as I could. He would be disinterested in me as well. 

Stranger didn't say anything in replied, but smiled his toothy grin again. Stranger was those type of boys who'd look manly on the outside or at first glance but when you finally get to know him or at least when you see him smile, you'll finally realize he's nothing but a cute puppy. 

"Well, finally time to introduce myself," said Stranger, putting down his meatless chicken, then wiping his mouth clean with the bunch of tissues I gave him. 

I held my breath. What was his name going to be? I made a few guesses to what his name could be, but nothing really suited him. 

His opened his mouth and smiled. "You'll tell me your name after I do, too, right?"

I looked around before slowly answering, "That's part of our deal, is it not? A deal is a deal."

"Hmm. I should make deals with you more often."

"Har, har," I sarcastically laughed. "Now that you've said that, I'm never going to agree to anyone of your deals."

Stranger pouted. "Dang it."

"Well, stop stalling then. Tell me your name," I urged him. 

"And I thought you weren't interested in knowing my name?" he teased, wiggling his eyebrows. 

"Well, it's now part of our deal. You have to tell me your name. Obviously, it's only natural for me to be curious now," I told him simply. "Now go on. What's your name?"

He smiled, looking genuinely happy. "Well then Stranger, my name's Kim Mingyu."

Kim Mingyu. So that was his name. No longer a stranger to me but now, he was someone named Kim Mingyu. That made me question who he existed as in my life. 

"Kim Mingyu," I found myself repeating his name, which made him smile. 

"So what's your name?" Mingyu asked. It felt so weird addressing him as his name now. I've grown so fond over calling him Stranger that now that I know his name... woah.

My lips quivered as I answered, "Lee Yeoreum."

"Lee Yeoreum?" he repeated, a smile still plastered on his face. "I like your name. Yeoreum. If your name is Yeoreum, why don't you like the summer?"

I lightly laughed. "Ironic, isn't it? To be named after the season I didn't really like in the first place. If you want to know the reason why, it's because of my parents. They like outdoor sports and doing literally anything they can during the summer. Thus, the name."

"And I'm guessing you're not like them?" he slowly asked. 

"Bingo," I answered. "I think I take after my grandfather instead. Unlike my parents, he and I enjoyed to read books instead. We were the indoor type that would rather waste time reading books instead of doing sports."

"Well, that's interesting," Mingyu commented. "And what about your whole paper heart thing? Did you take after him as well?"

I kept quiet for a few seconds. I wasn't expecting him to bring up that topic all of a sudden. 

"I'm sorry. Did I mention something that I wasn't supposed to?" 

I shook my head. "It wasn't that."

"Then? Why'd you turn quiet all of a sudden?"

Mingyu wasn't exactly a stranger to me anymore. But in many ways, he still was, too. 

My paper heart wasn't something I have inherited from anyone. Though, maybe, it was formed or discovered because of someone. 

I looked back at Mingyu and simply gave him a smile instead of an answer. Mingyu didn't look like he was going to ask again so he also smiled back. But I knew the both of us had our fair share of thoughts roaming in our heads as we sat there in silence. 

For starters, I was starting to worry. Starting to worry about the fact that his name was being scribbled onto the paper heart I tried my hardest to protect all these times. 

~Author's Notes~ 

Hoped you enjoyed ever word :) 

I feel a little demotivated these days. But I still can't stop writing. I guess one day, all these hard works of mine will pay off, right? :)

xoxo

Byun Sang Kyung