10th ∞

"Noona, look! I have this new toy!" my three-year-old brother, Yeowoo, said. 

I looked up from my book and smiled at him. "What is it? Did Dad buy it for you again?"

Yeowoo shook his head and said, "Mommy! Mommy buy!"

"Oh, Mom bought it for you..." I took the toy from his hands and tried to figure out what exactly it was. "What does this do, Yeowoo?"

Yeowoo childishly laughed and took a seat next to me on the couch and took the toy away from me. "It does this." Yeowoo began pressing a few buttons the toy had on it and it started making sounds along with lights being flashed. He looked up at me with a toothy grin and asked, "Isn't it cool?"

I giggled and snuggled him closer. "It is. But don't make Mom buy you a lot of these toys, okay? You won't play with all of them, after all."

Yeowoo looked sad when I lectured him about that but still nodded in agreement in the end. "I won't, noona. Yeowoo promises."

I gave him a tight squeeze in return. "That's a good boy. Now go play in your room. Noona wants to read quietly."

Yeowoo got up from the couch and frowned at me. "Dad says if you read too much, you won't know anything."

I made a loud groan. I knew Dad was sitting somewhere nearby so I purposely shouted loudly, "Well, he's never read a book a book diligently so he wouldn't know what you could learn from it!"

"I can hear you, Lee Yeoreum!" Dad shouted back. 

"Good!" 

"You'll get fat if you stay home and just read books all day!" Dad said in return. 

I looked at Yeowoo and whispered, "But noona's thin, isn't she? So that wouldn't be a problem, right?"

Yeowoo couldn't help but agree with a nod.

"Okay, now go back to your room. Noona really wants to finish this book," I told him. 

Yeowoo nodded and went back to his room like I had instructed him to.

I sat on the couch and continued reading my book. It was actually all an act. Behind the book held high up to cover my face was a person that wanted to cry, but couldn't do so because it will lead to questioning from parents. 

Yes, it seemed like I would get my happily ever after but ever since that day I confessed to Mingyu at the airport, I never saw him again. I even went to where he works at—Sarang Chicken—to ask if he was around but the only answer I received from them was that he had quit his part-time job due to personal reasons. 

I tried texting and calling him but it seemed like his number was changed. There was simply no other traces of him. 

When I thought I was ready to love, when I thought this love would be different from the rest, it turned out it wasn't. My paper heart teared, crumpled and everything after when I simply couldn't find out where he was. He, who I thought was different, ended up being like the rest. 

At nights, I would cry silently, wondering where it all went wrong. Was it because I had my walls up he left? Was it because he didn't dare to hurt me directly, so instead, he left without a trace like this? What was the reason? What, what, what? I wanted to know. I wanted a reason to why I cry every night.

I tried to forget about him but every now and then, the thoughts of him would come creeping back into my head. It would dance around and make me happy then I realize I shouldn't be feeling this way. I should be forgetting him. 

I want to be mad at him but I didn't have the heart to. I didn't know his reasons so I couldn't hate him for no reason. Sure, him leaving me was a good reason but I still didn't know what his reason of leaving was. Hurting me and my paper heart was just the same. 

Shaking my head, I told myself it would be better over time. Soon enough, this summer was ending and I would be in university. I would be preoccupied with studies and university life that he would easily slip out of my mind. By then, everything would be better. 

∞~∞~∞

"It's so nice to finally be able to walk with you," Hyemi said, linking our arms together then giving me a big smile. "The campus is huge and there a tons of good-looking guys, don't you agree?"

At the mention of guys, I distinctively remembered a story from a year ago but shook my head at the thoughts. Giving her a shrug, I answered, "Not really."

"You and your expectations, Lee Yeoreum," Hyemi remarked, laughing. "You do know that Xu Minghao noticed you a lot, right? He's a Chinese beauty."

"He is?" I asked, acting oblivious. It was clear that Minghao was a handsome dude and that I also noticed him a few times too but I didn't want to fall in love again. Two hurtful love stories were more than enough for me. "I never really noticed."

Hyemi looked at me with disbelief and I only shrugged in response before tugging her back into walking since she just paused out of nowhere. 

We arrived at the cafeteria shortly and bought some food before going to the outside seats to eat. Hyemi was going on about this guy she found cute. She said she was going to talk to him after her class and I just smiled at the fact that she's always writing her own love story. 

Drinking up my banana milk—because I recently took interest in it thanks to my brother, Yeowoo—I noticed Minghao walking past our table. Hyemi lightly kicked me under the table and shot her eyes toward his direction, trying to tell me he was there. 

I told her with my eyes that I got the idea. But instead of trying to say hi to be friendly, I continued eating and pretended like he didn't exist. He was with another Chinese student—Junhui. Let me just say that the Chinese students in Sungkyunkwan University were really good-looking. 

Once they were gone, Hyemi gave me a dissatisfied look. "Why'd you do that?"

"Do what?" I went back to acting oblivious. 

"You know I saw what you did," Hyemi said. "I feel like there's something more than just the story between you and Jaehyun. Remember when we met last year during summer? In that cold noodles store? You were really happy. Then the start of university, you weren't as happy as you were that time. There's something you never told me, am I right?"

At the reminder of what happened last summer, my mood turned really bad. 

"Yeoreum, I'm like a sister to you. We tell each other everything," Hyemi knowingly told me. "What didn't you tell me this time?"

Seeing that it was selfish of me to not have told her about my summer story, I decided to finally tell her. One year has been a long time, after all. But that doesn't mean I was fine after months have passed. 

"Okay, you got me. There's something I've never told you before. Or anyone, as a matter of fact," I started. We had an hour and a half until we had to attend our classes, so we had more than enough time. 

"A summer love?" Hyemi sounded eager. If only I felt the same way. 

"You could call it that," I said in reply. Anyone could easily hear the way my voice trailed off, as if I disappeared into a cave. 

Hyemi noticed the way I reacted and kept silent. It didn't take an expert to notice that whatever had happened before definitely hurt me. 

I continued my story, "He used to call it—us—destiny. We always find ourselves coincidentally meeting. On the streets. During a party. When I ordered delivery. We met at least four times without knowing each other's names."

Hyemi looked as if she was going to tease me but I think she caught up quick. This was a story I wanted to forget. It's been a year, after all. 

"We made a deal the third time we met. We said that if we met for the fourth time, we'd introduce ourselves to each other," I said, dryly laughing at the memory. 

"And... you guys did? Met the fourth time?" Hyemi discretely asked. 

I nodded. "Yeah, we did. He introduced himself to me and I did the same. His name was—" I choked back on tears for a moment. This would be the first in a year to finally say his name. "—Kim Mingyu."

"He has a nice name," Hyemi softly commented. 

"He does, doesn't he?" I wished I had told him that earlier, before he left without a trace. "We became friends and as much as I told myself not to fall for him..."

"You ended up doing so?" Hyemi finished my sentence for me. "Don't worry, Yeoreum. That happens all the time. It's normal."

But falling in love was a stranger was all so wrong. Like, you had nothing to do with the guy in the first place. He wasn't from your school. He wasn't part of your life at all. He was just some guy you found yourself always bumping into occasionally. 

"Yeah, so I ended up falling for him. Not too deep at first, but I cared for him and worried for him. It was like a little attraction, you could say," I said. "Then one day, when he came over to fix my broken air conditioner, he confessed to me."

"Woah, I never knew confessions like that could happen," Hyemi commented once again. "Go on."

"I said I liked him too, but I wasn't too serious yet. I didn't think of dating yet. The thought of it still scares me," I continued on. In fact, I don't think I'll be able to ever date again. 

"That's so cute." Hyemi gushed. 

Yeah, cute. If things hadn't turned out the way it is now, it would still be counted as cute to me. "Long story short, we were strangers who kept meeting during the summer that eventually became friends over time. We were also the same strangers—or friends—who ended up confessing to each other. And when I was ready to date and even told him I wanted to be together with him, he was gone. He disappeared. It was as if everything we've shared over the summer was simply history. Or worst—it never happened in the first place."

"What... do you mean he's gone?" I noticed the hesitation in her words. I would have been the same.

"The day after I confessed to him, I simply couldn't contact him anymore. All my messages I sent to him, they weren't read. I even tried calling him but he never picked up. I only assumed he changed his number." All of these happened last summer and this year's summer was already over. Yet, why did all the feelings still feel so strong?

"There was nothing from him?" Hyemi asked.

I shook my head. "He just left without a trace. After everything I've shared with him, after everything I risked just to have him, it turned out this way."

"This all happened during summer?" Hyemi asked once again. "I can't believe he did that to you. Just when I thought you'd finally have a switch of a heart. It would have been perfect, Yeoreum. The perfect summer love story."

"He ended up being the same as the other." I crumpled a piece of tissue. "But it's been a year. Things can't be that bad now. I may not be as fine, but I'm learning to be fine."

"But don't you ever wonder? He left without a trace. Don't you ever wonder what the reason was?" 

"Of course I do," I answered without hesitation. "But it's autumn now. It's been more than a year. Do you think I would find an answer if I kept wondering? I know it's all over. Whatever we shared that summer, it's over. It won't ever happen again. I will never know the reason to why he did it."

"Then what about Minghao?" Hyemi asked out of nowhere. "Do you think you'll be able to start fresh with someone new?"

"Last time I thought my love story would be different, it turned out being not," I told her. "It doesn't matter who the person is. History will end up repeating. You think you'd be able to avoid the decisions and mistakes you made in the past, but you'll end up finding yourself in the same place over again."

"So... what happens now?"

"Nothing," I answered. "What I predict is: Minghao will eventually realize that I'll never give him a chance and will eventually start seeing other people."

"What happens to you?" Hyemi asked, sounding concerned. 

I was silent for a moment. Then, the answer was simple. "I won't have a happy ending."

"Yeoreum, everyone has a happy ending," Hyemi argued back.

"Everyone but me," I told her.

Hyemi's eyes squinted as she told me, "Yeoreum, don't say that you don't have a happy ending. Look, reality might not be a fairytale, but its likened to one. At some point, we'll end up experiencing moments that are similar to what happens in a fairytale. So, eventually, we'll also have a happy ending."

"Why do you believe in that? What if that never happens? That happy ending?" I asked her, trying to test her. 

"Each person is different and the way they see things is different from the rest," Hyemi said, "but each person should learn to believe that there's some kind of happy ending waiting for them in this world. Everyone is still human, and each of us deserves happiness in the end. Even those people who did wrong."

"I'd like to protest," I said. 

Before I could protest, Hyemi went on, "It's okay if you don't want to believe. You should at least try to think about it. After all, you won't know you've been searching for something until you find it."

∞~∞~∞

Unlike my feelings for summer, I was a fool for winter. It was a beautiful season and it was cold. I coped better with the cold rather than the hot. If someone ever asked me whether I would die sweating or shivering, I would have chosen shivering. 

It was winter break and Hyemi was out of the country to celebrate the holidays with her family in Hawaii. Hyemi was just like her family—always wanting to be somewhere warmer. 

I get that Seoul tends to get really cold when it's winter, but we should all take time to appreciate how naturally beautiful the country could get when a white blanket is put over it. Even the snowflakes look beautiful when they fall from the sky.

My family wasn't like me. When winter came, they stuck to one place—home. They weren't good with tolerating the cold like I was, and home was the best place that had a heater. But they always had the heater up real high that it felt like summer back at home so I was always out, roaming around the city during winter. 

Like right now.

It started to get really cold and the only way to warm myself up was to eat street food and my best choice right now was tteokbokki they were selling. 

I quickly went to the street vendor and ordered myself some tteokbokki. The heat that was produced from making tteokbokki already warmed me up a little and when my tteokbokki was ready, I ate it up and warmed up even more. 

People came and go here at this tteokbokki vendor, but I stayed there. They probably couldn't handle the cold so they moved to another place to get warmed up. But I liked the cold, so I stayed. 

Another person came to the vendor and took up the space next to me and ordered tteokbokki too. My fear of making accidental eye contact with strangers was still there but I got more curious over time. So I glanced up at the person standing next to me and boy were they tall. 

The flash of their side view caused me to pause for a second and I had to check my eyes and see if I wasn't hallucinating. 

Yup, I wasn't.

I didn't wait any longer. One year has been a long time, after all. I grabbed onto their arm and waited for them to react. 

They turned their head, surprised by my touch but the moment our eyes met, he became even more surprised. "Lee Yeoreum..."

"Kim Mingyu," I called back. 

THE END.

~Author's Notes~

Hmm, I have a thing for ending stories after calling their names...

Okay, yes, this is sadly the end of Paper Heart! Hoped you enjoy the story, though it was short. :)

ABOUT THE BOOK 

Like I said, this story is mostly inspired from Paper Heart by f(x). The lyrics were just so beautiful and I just wanted to write a story about it. Among all the stories I've written, this is probably my personal favourite ♡

I wanted to write a book that was a simple love story that felt like it wasn't. Did that just make sense? Oh well. Moving on. There wasn't anything too crazy like another girl trying to steal the guy or anything like my other stories which had plot twists and all those fun things ;). Just a simple summer love with its turns. 

SEQUEL 

I've been planning the sequel to this book ever since this was created (woaaaah) and it's also based on another f(x) song, but I won't tell you which but you'll find out when it's published. Heh. I'm planning to finish the book before I publish it so it'll probably take a long time until it's published. Hopefully it'll be up soon :) In the mean time, I hope you guys will wait patiently for it!

Thank you so much for reading this story! Hopefully you enjoyed it as much as I did ❤

I'll see you in another book of mine, hopefully? ❤ Love you all my amazing Kimichies! Thanks for all the supports you give me ❤

Before I leave, here's some shameless promotions from me: 

Support my latest SEVENTEEN fanfiction—I Think I'm In Love! *^^*

xoxo

Byun Sang Kyung