The living room is shrouded in darkness, I can only make out the slim silhouette perched at the edge of our worn out sofa. But I'd recognised her voice immediately. 

Silence ensues, dead silence that permeates the air between us, filling it with enough tension that causes my head to ache. A dull throb begins at the back of my neck and then spreads to my forehead. 

I blink through the sudden pain only now noticing the figure from the couch shift. She crosses her legs over each other, interlacing her fingers like she is waiting for me to speak. 

"So how was it?" JinJin drawls, her voice so sharp it feels like someone has plucked a guitar string in my ear. 

"How was what?" I say too quickly, too defensively. I glance at the clock in the kitchen which currently reads 1am. My exhaustion had been put on hold when I was with Jiho but now I can feel it sinking in as I realise how late it is. 

"Your date obviously," JinJin replies and then she stands up. "Now it all makes sense. All that sneaking around to meet your so called sister. How you're always too busy to hang out with us mere mortals." 

My exhaustion is now bone deep, my eyelids are drooping and I have no mood to entertain JinJin at this hour of all people. 

"You don't know what you're talking about." I snap tiredly. "What are you doing awake anyway?" 

"Couldn't sleep. Just like you." She's standing in front of me now and even though she's shorter than I am, she still reeks of intimidation. I wonder if she'll tell management about this, if she'll casually slip this event into a conversation with her uncle, a major investor at Firefly. 

"I just went for a walk. Told Kim about it." My shoulders droop and I really just want to shower and sleep. Before I coming home, my thoughts had been wholly preoccupied by my first kiss with Jiho now it is the furthest thing from my mind. 

JinJin smirks and crosses her arms over each other. "You really went for a walk by yourself at 12 midnight? You seriously expect me to believe that?" 

"JinJin, I'm really tired and stressed from today. A walk alone is hardly illegal." 

She smiles but it doesn't reach her eyes. The calculated hatred she's always had for me still lingers in that gaze of hers. "Funny, I thought I'd been wrong about you when you got us our phone privileges back but now that I think about it, it's never been about us. Everything has always been about you, right Jina? All because you have a famous dead friend who offed herself for no good reason. Looks like the Hadong girls really have a flair for dramatics."

She emphasises on the word 'dead' and suddenly I'm not so tired. A wave of anger scorches my skin and I feel like tackling her to the ground. 

I take a step closer but she doesn't budge, seemingly unaffected by how angry I am. "You don't know anything about me or Dalia or anyone. All you have are your useless gossip tabloids. Now get out of my way, it's late and we have rehearsals tomorrow." 

I push past her, my shoulder brushing roughly against hers as I reach for the door to my room. 

"You've changed since she died. You're more brazen, sneaking around with guys, acting all entitled. Doing whatever makes you happy just because everyone can't stop talking about you. But let me tell you something, Jina. It's not enough. You still need to ace this showcase and today didn't look so promising."

My fingers tighten around the doorknob and I turn around. "If I were you I would worry about myself. Your pitch today was off and everyone noticed."

City lights from the window next to us highlight her face and my satisfaction is immense when I catch her wince. 

She quickly schools her features, the coldness in her face returning within seconds before she smiles. "If I were you I'd watch myself. Never know who could be watching you."

I ignore her and quickly lock the door behind me, my heart racing as I lean against the door. Binna's soft snores relax me a little and I head to the shower. 

I scrub down vigorously, feeling raw and exposed and vulnerable. 

Sneaking around with guys. 

Does she know? Paranoia coats my skin like a flesh eating disease that has me scrubbing myself over and over. I finally give up and wipe down, wincing when my towel brushes against the now raw skin. 

I get ready for bed quickly, slipping on my pyjama set and crawling under the covers. I thought I was tired, thought I would succumb to sleep almost immediately but I find myself staring at the metal rods that support Binna's mattress above me. 

Does she know? Does she know? Does she know?

I sigh loudly and rub my face with my hand. No, she can't know. If she did Rachel would have a meltdown and I would have been kicked out of Firefly. If she knew anything she would have either outed me to management or blackmailed me about it. 

There's no two ways about it. That's how she works. 

This thought soothes me only slightly because the fact that she suspects me is already terrible enough. I can't keep sneaking out. I have to be much more careful. 

I bite my lip hard thinking about all the precautions I've been taking and it still isn't enough. 

The token Jiho gave me remains in my bag and I stare at where I dumped it over the desk. Is meeting him worth all this trouble and stress?

I think about how happy I feel every time I'm with him. About the endorphins that flood my entire body, releasing all the pent up tension when he so much as holds my hand. I love every second spent with him and the thought of not being able to causes a deep ache in my chest.

Can I give that up? 

After trying to sleep and failing miserably I decide to do what I always do when I want to distract myself. I plug in my earphones and put on Dalia's live performances. She's singing about a guy she can never have and the pain in her voice is so realistic, like the lyrics are her truth.

Her haunting voice sends chills down my spine every time, the resultant goosebumps on my arms almost routine. 

How does she perform like that?

I think about my performance today and can't help but compare myself to her. The difference is so vast it makes my heart sink. The worst part is I don't ever remembering her being bad at singing. She's always been so captivating. 

It makes me wonder if I'm always going to be this mediocre. If I'll always just be known as the girl from the same hometown as Dalia. 

I don't know why but my eyes suddenly grow bleary and I blink back tears. I shut off her songs and look at the mattress above me, my mind a scrambled mess consisting mainly of Jiho, JinJin and Dalia. 

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know Binna is shaking me awake. 

"Jina it's 5.30am, wake up!" 

My body resists, every muscle locked in sleep mode, it feels like she is shaking a log. Even my eyelids aren't working, they can't seem to open. 

Binna groans loudly. "Don't make me splash water on your face. The heater's faulty and it's freezing." 

I grumble and roll onto my side, cursing under my breath. It's too early, too cold and I'm not ready for another day of existing. 

"Come on! Fittings start by 6.30am." Binna says and I finally sneak a peak at her through sleep laden eyes. 

I blink a few times to see her all dressed up already. She's standing by the mirror, pulling her long black hair into a tight ponytail, looking fresh and beautiful as ever. 

I'm scared to imagine what my own reflection looks like. 

Binna heads outside to eat her breakfast and I quickly rush to get ready. I'd already expected to look tired but one look in the mirror has me filled with regret. My dark circles are even worse today and my eyes are puffy from crying. 

I grab my satchel and head to the kitchen, hoping the token Jiho gave me will be my saving grace today. Binna's already done with her oats but I skip breakfast and press a cold spoon to the skin under my eyes. 

It doesn't seem to make a difference. The puffiness is still evident when we leave the trainee dorms. 

After our encounter last night, JinJin barely even looks at me. We're all too busy getting ready in the dressing rooms with stylists and stage crew fussing over us. 

I try to calm my self but my paranoia gets the best of me when I catch her staring my way while a stylist fastens the hooks on her corset. She smirks and my stomach churns with unease. 

It gets worse when Viva joins us back stage. Jiho looks so well rested and happy, he smiles at me when the boys stop to greet us. 

As expected Rachel rushes to his side but I don't dare focus too much with JinJin around. I pretend to keep busy even though it's obvious Jiho has been trying to catch my eye all morning. 

"You, okay? You look tired?" He murmurs when we are standing by the curtains, waiting for our performance. Rachel and Silver are still in the changing rooms so this is the first time we've been alone together. 

Still I glance around cautiously, afraid of prying eyes. 

Jiho scratches his head, looking nervous. "I can't stop thinking about last night." 

I finally turn to look up at him and his earnest expression reminds me why I love simply being around him. The heat of his stare melts away my worries making my shoulders relax.

"Me too," I murmur softly and his face brightens, rivalling the stage lights before us.  

"Do you have it with you?" He asks softly, referring to the token he gave me last night.

I nod, smilling softly. It's currently sitting snugly in my shoe since my outfit doesn't have any pockets. 

Our moment together is interrupted when Rachel and Silver rush up to us. We go through our lines one final time and then it's time to perform. Thankfully today there are no obvious mistakes on my part, even Mr Yang doesn't have anything to say and before I know it rehearsals are over. 

"More emotion girls. You don't look like you're enjoying yourself enough." Mr Yang leaves us with these parting words and I am so used to the same critique that it has really started to bug me. 

He stands up and adjusts his coat, getting ready to walk up the stairs but then he pauses. 

"Jina, I'd like a word with you." I can feel everyone's eyes on me and it feels like all the air in the auditorium has suddenly been sucked out. "In my office."