-Six Months Later-

"After all these years, all this suffering...I can't believe we're actually free!" Sasha squeals. She's being lifted up in Connie's arms and spun in a circle, laughing and celebrating with the entire rest of the human population.

Many people don't even believe it, and I don't blame them. I can hardly believe it myself.

Radioactive bombs, Hanji called them, spread out by steam-driven engines throughout the entire globe. These were two of the most advanced and innovative inventions since 3-dimensional maneuver gear itself. It's not something I completely understand, but it doesn't much matter. The point is we're free, and are no longer forced to live like cattle.

And I can't bring myself to be happy as anyone who knows me would think I'd be. But because I don't want anyone to notice my lack of enthusiasm, I drink.

The mess hall is full, full, full of food (more than I'd ever seen) and alcohol. The entire regiment, no matter who or what they've been through, is crowded in the room and ready to celebrate.

The party begins soon after. The room is filled with the sounds of people eating, drinking, talking and celebrating. Feet dance around each other to the beat of live music. People laugh and cheer.

"Eren!" I hear my name being called, and none other than Armin emerges from the crowd with a smile bigger than I'd seen it since we were kids spread across his face.

Since then, or even since we joined the Scout Regiment, since retaking Wall Maria and Shinganshina, or even a year ago, he's filled out quite a bit, surpassing me in height if only by a little. Any traces of the babyish face I grew up with is mostly gone; even his eyes are more grown up and haunted by the past and everything he's seen. His hair grew out along with his legs, and he now wears it up on the crown of his head.

"Come dance," he urges, taking hold of my sleeve the way he's always done.

I blink slowly at him; the effects of whatever's in the glass I hold has fogged my mind a bit, but I can't say I mind.

I down the last drops quickly and leave the empty cup on a nearby table before letting my friend lead me onto the dancefloor.

I've never been a good dancer, nor talented at keeping the beat, so I let Armin lead me through it. It feels weird. Different. And I don't like it.

So I drink more. This time it's something yellowish with a lemony scent. I take a small sip; it burns my throat, but I feel its impact almost immediately. I take more, and once I've emptied another glass, I move back to the dancefloor.

And that's how the night goes. Dancing. Drinking. Laughing like an idiot as I go back and forth, feeling the ache in my lungs and ribs from it, the stinging of my esophagus and the sloshing of everything I've downed in my stomach, unaccompanied by any sort of solid substance. But it doesn't matter. My emotions are numb. My mind is numb. It allows me to focus on nothing but my surroundings, any thoughts of the person I miss the most shoved to the back of my mind for the time being.

I'm at the edge of the dancefloor, my intoxicated eyes barely able to keep up with the people dancing, talking, eating, drinking. My head spins as Erwin takes his place standing on an empty table, his own glass of some potent substance resting in his fingers. He makes a speech I probably won't remember later, about how we've won, and even more so about how all the deaths and sacrifices of our comrades, in the end, were not in vain.

"From the soldiers who never made it into a regiment to the ones who were with us the longest, including he who was our strongest, sacrificed on the front lines in the line of duty, in the name of humanity!"

Cheers erupt through the room, and Erwin continues on about humanity and its strength, but I cease listening. I can't, not after his speech about Levi.

And suddenly the alcohol pumping through my system feels like poison. Acidic. My stomach churns, and as soon as the speech is over and everyone goes back to partying, the motion causes my head to spin.

"Eren?"

I look up to find Mikasa striding toward me. She looks...green? And strangely so much bigger than everyone else...

"Are you okay?"

Something warm meets my shoulder. My eyes are suddenly filled with moisture; everything swims.

"Have you eaten anything? You look so pale," she says. But her voice sounds off.

I want to ask if she's okay. She sounds so strange, looks so awkward...

"Here." She holds something out in offering, and I'm about to take it until the smell hits me. I don't know what it is, but it upsets my stomach further.

* * *

Alcohol burns even more coming up than it does going down. Perhaps because of the mixture of stomach acid along with it, but either way it has my entire core feeling like it's being licked up and down by flames.

"He drank too much," one voice says. It's muffled. Must be something wrong with my ears...

"Was no one watching him?" asks another.

"Guess not."

"Let's get him to bed."

I'm put in an extra room on the top floor of headquarters instead of my own down in the basement. Relief comes with being laid down. A cool cloth is laid over my forehead, and someone covers me with a sheet. I've been undressed, save for my boxers. The cool sensation of the sheet against my hot skin allows me to relax further and let out a breath of relief.

"Feeling better?"

Mikasa perches herself on the edge of the bed to my left, angled toward me like a mother would. I blink slowly, search for my voice.

"A little," I manage. "Sorry."

"Don't be." Her soft fingers brush some hair away from my cheek. "But you should've eaten. Your stomach was filled with straight booze."

I manage a tiny smile. "Oops."

Her dark eyes are filled with concern. She, too, has changed in the years since our childhood. For most of the years of being on active military duty, her hair was never longer than shoulder length, but she's been letting it grow out and putting it up like Sasha or Hanji, instead. Now, it's down, and it falls in sleek locks over her shoulders. Her eyes are much the same as Armin's, forever haunted by everything they've bore witness to. The more she ages, the more woman-like she gets...the prettier she gets.

Wow, I really must've had a lot to drink...

"Just get some rest. I'll be in my room, so call if you need anything."

I hum and watch her leave.

Once the door has clicked shut and her footsteps fade away, I'm left in a terrible silence. One that has my ears ringing. I can hear my own heartbeat and the surging of blood in my head. The soft brush of air entering and exiting my lungs through my nose. And nothing else.

Despite my still-spinning head, I push myself upright. Take a small sip of the water left by my bedside, and move to the window to shove it open. A gust of fresh, cool, night air greets me and I greedily suck it in, feeling a bit refreshed from my intoxication.

And it's stupid, but I lift myself into the window sill and crouch there for a moment before flinging my legs out to dangle them over the side and sit in the window. The tracks where the window is in place to slide open and closed hurts my ass, but I pay it no mind. Nor do I pay any mind to the fact that I'm still mostly naked. After feeling like I've been lit like a torch from the inside, this feels remarkable.

"So, we're free," I say to no one. "But I don't feel so free." I kick my legs back and forth, gazing down at the ground, three stories below my dangling toes. "Because Levi isn't here."

It's the first time I've said his name since his heart stopped, and it catches on my throat, leaves the most bittersweet of flavors on my tongue—a contrast to the alcohol I'd been tasting earlier. Better, but worse.

"I am alone," I whisper to the breeze. "And I'm sad," I tell the tree a few meters from the building. "Because my life no longer has any purpose."

I don't know why I speak. It seems stupid as hell. No one's listening, and it's not like spilling my problems to the empty air will solve a damn thing.

"You're so stupid for dying," I mutter. "And you said I'm the idiot. Hmph."

I look back at the tree. "Do you wanna know a secret?" I whisper to it. The breeze blows through it the leaves clicking softly against each other. It's a good enough response for me. "I still blame myself."

* * *

In the morning, I stare at myself in the bathroom mirror. My head is pounding and I threw up again. The sun has yet to come up and everyone's still asleep, exhausted from the party last night. It lasted until a good few hours after midnight; I could still feel the thumping of the live music as I laid in bed. My own eyes didn't find rest until after it stopped, either; even so, this incessant pounding behind them didn't allow for much sleep, so I now sport dark circles under my eyes and something resembling a bird's nest atop my head. Go figure.

I drag myself out of the bathroom after probably half an hour and shuffle down the stairs, using a shaky hand on the railing to guide myself to the basement. I stumble my way into my cell, feeling for my bed and the texture of his cloak before curling up around it.

I don't sleep. I remember.

He knocked softly on the door, holding his breath. Shuffling sounded from the other side, and he had to stop himself from jumping back as it flew open to reveal a grumpy, sleep-deprived looking corporal.

As soon as the short man saw who was there, however, his face softened a bit.

"Hey," Eren whispered, shifting his eyes to his feet.

"What do you want?" Levi whispered back, though it wasn't in anger or annoyance.

Eren had to fumble in his mind for a plausible answer that wouldn't make him look like a helpless wimp who was too restless to sleep alone. Standing there in front of his superior suddenly had him feeling like a child sneaking into his parent's bedroom to sleep because he was afraid of the monsters under his bed.

"Um," he mumbled. "I..."

Levi waited, a semi-incredulous brow cocked.

"I got lonely," Eren mumbled. He pressed his lips together, feeling like a complete idiot. When Levi said nothing, he muttered a 'sorry' and turned to walk away. He made it halfway back to the stairs before he heard the whisper of his name following behind and turned to find the corporal several steps away from his door.

"Yeah?"

"Come on," Levi murmured, nodding back toward his room.

Eren's eyes widened fractionally. "R-really?"

"Before I change my mind," warned the raven.

It was more than enough for the brunette to retrace his steps and cross the threshold into Levi's room behind the man and shut the door behind him. The room, small but bigger than Eren's cell, was lit by a dying torch in the corner. The chair at the desk in the corner was a few feet away from it, indicating recent use, as well as a quill and a vial of ink adjacent to a stack of papers.

"You were doing paperwork? At this time of night?" Eren asked in disbelief.

"I'm clearly not the only one who wasn't asleep," Levi retorted.

"Touche...but..."

"Might as well do something productive with my time if I can't sleep," Levi said, sinking back into the chair.

Eren pressed his lips together. He remembered Levi once telling him he was never able to sleep much, at least not all at once. It was no wonder he looked so tired and grumpy all the time...

"Are you gonna stand in the doorway all night or what, kid?" Levi muttered, plucking the quill back up.

"No," Eren said quickly before padding silently over to the bed and plopping on the end of it. Levi scowled over his shoulder at his sloppiness but continued on with his work. Eren remained where he was, just watching Levi as his hand darted across the paper, occasionally dipping the end of the long feather into the ink. Eventually, Eren's eyelids grew heavy and he began nodding off where he sat.

"Oi, Eren."

He jolted upright with a gasp to find Levi standing in front of him.

"Get some sleep," he continued, turning toward the dresser on the wall opposite the bed. "You can stay, but you have to be out of here before sunrise. I'm not gonna have the entire rest of the castle see you leave my room and think we're up to something, and I sure as hell am not going to sneak your ass out of here."

Eren was only half paying attention. From the moment the corporal said he could stay, he'd already started crawling toward the head of the bed and slipping himself into the sheets, softer than his own. Cleaner, smelling like the detergent Levi used to do his laundry with...

"Got it?" Levi asked in a hard tone.

"Mm-hmm..." Eren mumbled, snuggling himself in with little more care in the world aside from sleep.

The last thing he heard before conking out was a mildly irritated sigh.