May 18 XXXX

It was a day with rain in heavy downpours. I looked out the window on the second-story building, watching the rainfall and fall. "Boss the east side ports have been reviewed and finalized. All it needs is your agreement." One of the lackeys said, and the other hummed in response as if agreeing.

"Miha...Miha...Soo Miha." I snapped out of my daze as the low, cold tone voice called out from behind me. I slowly turned my head around to look at the person sitting cross-legged in the chair—an arguably handsome fellow in his early 20's. Black hair frames his evenly shaped face very well, sending off a sense of dominance, piercing dark eyes that narrow with murderous intent. Well, fair and unblemished skin and a deep bass tone that shakes the very soul. Simply put, drop-dead, handsome. I was currently carrying out a request well, several in a bundle. I'm going undercover to skim out the traitors of the Sakamano group, which was also a yakuza group well known for many of their connections and achievements. Added to that, I was also to pose as their boss's new lover for a while to please the old boss of theirs until he kicks the bucket, and a rival request was to skim out some inside information from the Sakamano group. These requests were from varying clients, but all of these are unknown to the new boss, Sakamano Yahiro, the youngest boss to lead the Sakamano group and bring it to its golden years.

Originally I was going to refuse because of how troublesome it was, but the pay was too good to pass up, and honestly, it's been a while since I had done any undercover work. So I accepted the requests, and I was set up with a new identity and information to use freely without being traced back to my original data. It's very convenient. Meeting the guy wasn't all that hard since all I had to do was go into an alleyway that just so happened to have both the Sakamano group and Banza group leaders meeting face to face, ready for a deathmatch with an army of 30 or so from both groups. I wanted to be a bystander and stay out of the mess, but the fight dragged me in by force, so I did what any rational, normal, human person would do...beat the shit out of them. This would, of course, attract attention, and that's what I wanted-maybe. Both leaders stopped their monetary dispute to look at the new foreigner that crashed their party. I chose to play the cold, evasive, and sightly aloof type of girl who also has a gloomy side for leather jackets and black clothes. I mean, doesn't that just scream out charming.

The three of us had a long staring contest, and once the Banza leader quit, only Yahiro and I were left to see who was going to win. Spoiler alert it was a draw. We got interrupted by the hounding cheers of the Sakamano group. Only at that did the two of us snap out of it and realize which side had won. After completing my objective of attracting attention, I stealthily left as if I never existed—this is where the carrot and the stick method came into play.

After few days, then a few months, this is the result we have as of now. Our relationship seen from the outside looked less like lovers and more like unsociable friends. Still, in reality, even if we don't interact with each other much, the two of us had figured out each other's habits and work schedules, plus other things that don't need to be mentioned because it is unnecessary. If I were to describe this Yakuza heir, it would be overwhelmingly considerate. I mean, he doesn't show it on his face, but if I ever request something, he'll buy it for me asap without my acknowledgment of it. He caters to all my needs if I ever needed any and basically spoiled me to bits...it doesn't feel bad. It's not something I would get used to or even like, but it's pretty nice once in a while.

Back to the situation at hand, I continued to look at Yahiro, and he kept his eyes locked with mine. The atmosphere was tense, but this was a little inside game between the two of us. So far, it's been a lot of ties. "Uh...boss?" The lackey quietly kicked up, and the two of us looked over at him. "...I'll come back at a later time to grab the papers." Then the poor guy left with a hunched back, scurrying away like a mouse that spotted a cat.

"Miha." I glanced over at Yahiro, walked over to the couch, and plopped myself down, staring right up at the ceiling. "It won't stop till the day after." I heard him say, and I lazily waved it off. I heard a chair moving and clothes rustling, then finally footsteps that inched closer towards me. I closed my eyes, feeling a hand on my head. "A little warm." I hear him say, and that got me thinking all confused.

"Most likely the heater, or I'm wearing too many." The temperature in the room is at an all-time low, so we turned on the heater, and I just so happened to be wearing three layers.

"...That so." From the moment he hesitated to say those words, I guessed that he would buy me some cold medicine once again without my acknowledgment. Think with me for a moment. If you were to take out the fact that he was a yakuza heir but instead an average or even rich guy, then honestly, he makes for a perfect lover. The patience of a saint. He is very considerate and doesn't contain character traits that may lead him down the road of being a potential yandere boyfriend. Take notes, everyone; this will be on the test. Not very sociable, but if you talk, he listens and responds... and I am stopping here because the list goes on for about another two or three pages. I refuse to list it all out for the sake of your entertainment and my mental health. I don't want to pay any more insurance fees for every therapist who comes to see me.

"I'll be fine. You still have some work left. I'll take a nap while waiting for you." I said and laid down on the sofa, getting in a comfortable spot. Yahiro being the very worrying but considerate person, covered me with a blanket.

"If it gets too cold or hot tell me." He said, rested his hand on my head one more time, went back to his desk, and continued his work. While I laid there talking with my demons and having tea time with them in retrospect of basically trying to kill off every one of them and repeating the process, these bastards are a mental health restraint for me. I listened to the rain beating down on the window, the rustling of papers, and the writing of a pen. Occasionally, some people come by to hand in reports, but other than that, things have been pretty quiet.

'I should hurry up and finish this job. If I keep dragging this out, it'll take me a year or more by then.' I did feel a little bad for tricking Yahiro, but a job is a job, and it's not like there's much I can do. As I was monologuing in my head, one of the lackeys slammed open the door wet from the rain ran up to Yahiro. "Boss we have a problem it's-" The lackey stopped what he was saying, probably because of Yahiro. I guess he's trying to keep things quiet so I can sleep. I'm telling you he's a catch but not the one I want. Ok, I'll stop pushing it.

The two continued their conversation outside, and after a few minutes, Yahiro came back in. I mind my little self by keeping asleep. Yahiro petted my head a few times and then left. Once I was sure that they were gone, I snapped my eyes open and got to work. Do you know how rare it is to even get close or near him, much less have him gone with everything to my disposal? I honestly got to thank whoever was creating a ruckus because I just got the perfect opportunity. I sat on the chair and hacked into his computer and looked for the files I need and started copying them all into my flash drive. Since I'm working with both sides, the Sakamano group will suffer for a while, but I've been watching and keeping track. With this file leak, it really won't cause much damage that they can't handle, so even with that, I feel absolutely fine doing this job. Am I becoming soft because of Yahiro, or is it because I am too lazy to care. Not sure, but it could be neither cause I refuse to accept both options. Why? Because I'm a professional in my term.

Once the files have been fully copied, I quietly hid the flash drive somewhere I can find it. I closed the computer, went back to the sofa, and inserted the flash drive into my phone with a built-in micro USB plug. Once the files were done sending to my phone, I then transferred them to my client. Once I received a confirmation from them, I unplugged the flash drive, crushed it, and threw it in the trash. If you think this took only an hour and a half, you guessed right because I am not a patient person and hate waiting. My clients all know this. Once I get the job done, I want my payment in less than an hour, or else I'll be gunning for their head. I have a no late policy, so you better pay up on time, or else I'm going to decapitate your head and sell your parts in the black market.

I decided to check my messages on my other phone to see how the others have been doing. I looked at messages from Koha, and it seems he's going through another breakup session. Honestly, his breakup sessions end up horribly. I mean, all his partners end up as stalkers, for crying out loud! I shook my head, sighing, and checked my other messages. My ballistic puppy-like junior has been sending me messages non-stop, and I skipped to the end with him asking if we can have dinner together. 'He's going to nag me again. He's my junior but I feel like he's more of a mom or more of a naggy nanny.' I shrugged and said sure after I finished my work. Within a minute, a new record reply, he sent a happy emoji.

I looked at the time, and he should be back any minute now. I stowed away my phone and used my other one to play some games. I laid sitting up on the couch and touched the ring I had around my neck. 'I should get rid of this as well.' I thought while mindlessly twirling it between my fingers. I eventually let go of it and went back to my game. Yahiro came back with a bag in his hand, a faint scent of rust, plus his gloves are gone meaning somebody was killed. I glanced over at him and went back to focusing on my game. He set the bag down on the table and used the back of his hand to feel my forehead. "Still a little warm." He mumbled, but I heard clearly.

"I slept for a little while. It'll go down in a few minutes." I said without looking up, and I was racking up some pretty good combo kills. Yahiro sat down on the floor, resting his back on the couch and laying his head on my legs. "Get hurt?" I asked, and he quietly shook his head. I reached my hand out and gently patted his head. He eventually fell asleep. 'I told you this relationship is not much like lovers and more like unsociable friends. If you say you and your friends don't do something similar like this it's either a lie, there not real, there not your friends, or you have absolutely no social skills to speak of an-Ok that is my que to shut the fuck up!'

After a few weeks, the old Sakamano boss was finally put in the hospital, seeming to be at the end of his lines and soon will be my job as well. The problem now is that the lady from the Hinamoto household had long taken a fancy on Yahiro and is now officially his stalker, and I do mean the horrible kind not to him but me. This woman is trying to dig up shit on me that she shouldn't be digging up, or else I'll have to rid of her existence. I looked over at Yahiro, who seemed to be lacking sleep over the course of weeks. 'If things continue this way. Problems may begin to pop up which may work well for me if I do it right.' I waited for Yahiro to fall asleep and then left the office. I walked down the alley and found the people I was looking for stalking my trail. 'Now it's time to set things in motion.' I had intentionally let them sneak up on me, and I was supposedly knocked out. You'll need an iron ball speeding down 50 mph to get me knocked out, and don't even start thinking normal drugs can do anything to me. I grew up with a drugged-up body.

I quietly listened in on their conversations and found out we're heading over to a high-end classy hotel. I was brought up to the top floor and sat the self-esteemed young mistress of the Hinamoto group. She honestly didn't look too bad. She has wavy brown hair, a blue dress with a white cardigan, and white heels, the sharp brown eyes that look down on everyone she deems unworthy. Honestly, I thought something pretty exaggerated, but she dresses pretty well with a nice elegant but casual look. "So you are the one that Yahiro is supposedly dating. I don't know what he sees in a girl like you. The two of you rarely talk, barely go anywhere together except for staying in his office, and even then you are more than several feet apart. I honestly cannot tell if your friends or lovers." She spatted out honestly, and it isn't wrong. 'Though if you have to take time view our daily hangouts then you should have the time to build up courage and confess plus not be a stalker.' Even if I do say all that, it isn't like she's going to listen.

"So what are you planning to do?" I asked her in turn, and she crossed her legs and arms looking down on me.

"I'll give you two choices. One, leave Yahiro and officially break up with him, I can guarantee you money, fame, wealth, or other things that you desire other than Yahiro of course and that I can approve and accomdate. Two, stay with Yahiro and I will make sure not only will he suffer from this but the Sakamano group will suffer as well and you especially will be in torment, if my mood gets especially bad with how you answer I will just outright kill you here." She said, and apparently, my choices are minimal.

"I won't give up until Yahiro gives up on me. If you really do love him just tell him outright, it's not like he's the type that will hate you for telling your feelings for him." I said, and she was momentarily shocked but furrowed her brows. "The one thing you didn't notice is that we can give each other support and a sense of safety. The only reason Yahiro lets me hang out in his office is that he thinks I am safe. A person to be trusted and he can relax around without having to be on guard." Most of what I said is true. However, I am definitely not a person to be trusted. "If you want him to acknowledge and open up to you. Tell him, let him know how you feel. Be open about it to him. All the things you do and send him are only making him see you in a bad way. I spent a long enough time with him to know this at least." The young mistress finally got up from her seat and walked up to me.

"You are a fake. I can tell from the way you talk and how you act with him. You act in such a convincing way so other's don't notice. Especially Yahiro, that guy doesn't know what love of a partner is truly like so there is no way he could tell that all you've been doing has been fake. You don't truly love him. You don't have the desire or want to love someone." She said, piercing through me with her sharp eyes. 'Geez, are a womens intuion this accuracate. I mean I don't love Yahiro like a lover but it doesn't mean I don't care for him...right? Do I really care about him? Or is it just Soo Miha-yeah, of course it's Soo Miha. Once Soo Miha is dead there won't be a thing such as love between me and Yahiro. After all this is just a job.' I didn't say anything, and apparently, she took that as an answer. "How pathetic. I honestly feel bad for Yahiro to have trusted you or even loved a cold, deceiving person like you. I don't care about the reason you're getting close to him but the worry I feel for him won't end until you are out of the picture. I'll end it today for both of you. A person like you shouldn't be by his." That last sentence has me worrying. 'She's planning on killing me isn't she.' The gut feeling of a killer.

The young mistress called up Yahiro and told him the location of where we were. I was soon dragged up to the roof and was edged towards my falling doom. Yahiro, in practically no time, came rushing up here with guns blazing and an army of soldiers. A little exaggerated, but he did bring a lot of his men. "Let go of Miha." This was the first time I've seen Yahiro this pissed off. This did make me feel very guilty, but what can I do about it? A job...is... do I still consider this a job?

"Yahiro if you decide to give up on her I'll be glad to free her but If you can't let go of her I'll have her thrown over the building." The young mistress threatened, but Yahiro only repeated himself once more. "Yahiro you don't seem to understand. This woman doesn't even truly care for you! Everything you've experienced with her is fake!" The young mistress walked up to me and grabbed ahold of my throat, pressuring it so much that it was almost blocking my airway. 'She's defientely a lot stronger than I give her credit for.' "What you mistake for love is nothing but a delusion! Wake up! Yahiro you are the leader of the Sakamano group, you know better then to blindly trust those close to you!" Yahiro raised his gun at the young mistress.

"It's my choice." So he said, and by this point, I had hoped he give up on me. I'm not someone he should care for. Besides, we've only been together for less than a year.

"Your choice?! How humorous! Yahiro you don't know love or maybe it's that this love of yours is just an obsession of curiosity?! You can't see those who truly love you but only see the one that gives you false love! I can't stand the sight of her decivening you any longer than she has! She's not even Soo Miha! You mean nothing to her!" The young mistress tightens her hold.

"I still love her. It was me who decided to fall for her and it will also be me who ends it with her. You are not a part of this." Yahiro said, completely serious, and moved his look to me. We locked eyes once more and maybe for the last time ever. 'She's not wrong. None of what she said was wrong. If only I was really Soo Miha a cold, evasive, and sightly aloof type of girl who has a thing for leather jackets and black clothes then do you think a relationship could actually work out...Yahiro?' This was something he would never be able to hear from me.

"What an utter fool Yahiro I-" I broke eye contact with Yahiro and cut the young mistress off by grabbing the hand that was choking my neck and twisting it away. Not expecting such strength from me, I was able to get out of that chokehold easily. Gunshots rang out as the Sakamano group killed off the young mistress lackeys, and just as I was about to get back on solid ground, the young mistress pulled out a gun from her cardigan and shot me straight in my vitals as many times as she can and doing the finishing touches, pushed me off the building. This happened in seconds, with not even a minute seeming to pass.

"Soo Miha!" I see Yahiro shouting my name while reaching over the ledge to grab me. "You win." I mumbled as gravity took hold and dragged me down. Yahiro was pulled back by his lackeys, and I was sent down to the cold hard ground, bones shattering, back of my head cracked open, internal bleeding, and gun wounds leaking blood. It was so painful, and it hurt so bad. Dying is really hard to get used to.

Yahiro, who was back up at the building, looked over at the Hinamoto young mistress and glared at her as she was detained. He pointed his gun over at her head and was ready to shoot, but all his subordinates advised him not to, and the two group leaders glared at each other, refusing to back down. Yahiro eventually dropped his gun and rushed to reach the spot where Miha had fallen and died. However, all there left was a pool of blood lying within it was a necklace with a ring attached. Yahiro picked up the necklace and looked at the ring in his hand. It was the pair ring Yahiro had gotten Miha after months of them being together. Although Yahiro was wearing his, Miha complained that she didn't like to wear things on her fingers, she decided to make it into a necklace instead. Yahiro clutched the ring tight in his hands. "The game doesn't end until I say it does. I won't accept this win." Yahiro's grip on the ring was so tight it broke the ring in half. "Soo Miha weather dead or alive I must get a answer from you." Yahiro said, glaring at his clenched fists. All thoughts of rationality had left his mind. "Find Soo Miha dead I want the corpse. Alive I want the person."

I looked out from a corner of an alleyway, still holding my bleeding head and gun wounds. I told you I'm a monster, and monsters don't die easily, but the pain is still there. I later sent a file listing all the spies inside the Sakamono group. So it's not like the time I spent there was only with Yahiro I made sure to do my job. I made several file transactions, so once it arrives at Yahiro's office, it won't be traced back to me.

I later had dinner with my junior and didn't feel too hungry. "Senpai did your job end okay?" I looked at my junior, and he was looking at me, worried.

"It's nothing that bad. Just questioning some decisions." I piled food into my bowl and pigged out, hoping it helps me. 'Well, looks like I'll have to pay extra insurance for all my therapists for a while.' All my hard-earned money is going down the drain like this. But, honestly, what's the point in what I do anymore. The freedom we want is nothing but a lie. There is no home for us-not for me anyway.' Dinner that night was quiet and awkward. I haven't experienced that in a while. 'Wonder if Yahiro had given up yet?' That night I only slept for 2 hours before my nightmare kicked in. A new time record, I must say.

(Song-Again©, September 21, 2017, Composed by-Noah Cyrus)