Grandma's chili sauce had gotten into my stomach. Oh god! What was I thinking? Damn Grandma and her wrecked house, it didn't even have a clean toilet. That's the reason I was rushing to my own house where I live with my parents. I wasn't expecting Grandma to make a double chili sauce with rice, Rice! Not an ounce of Meat. I could have said no, but then Grandma would have fed me the sauce herself, double the amount. No wonder Grandpa Died so early, with cholesterol.

So, I got out of there as soon as I could. The moment I stepped outside the crooked house, I felt that pressure, where you feel like you could poop until you die. My parent's house was an hour drive away, but I could reach there in half an hour.

So I tried to make my car a flying jet, but I had forgotten that there were other people in this world who are concerned about the teenagers, driving past their speed limits. Like, Cops. Freaking COPS!

I slowly pulled over to the side as the Police car came to stop behind mine. It is so difficult to smile while your stomach is deep frying the large intestine. I pressed the nozzle of the air-freshener in the car and lowered the window.

"Hey, officer!", I chirped from inside. The officer didn't seem anything like it. Cap on the top of long, knotted hair, a piece of straw between teeth, dirty fingers scratching stomach, shirt half hanging out, pants extra loose with tight belt, no shoes... slippers.

"Yo! Lass, watcha doin' out 'ere. Speedin' yer junk like that! Didn't yer mama tech ya anythin'?"

"Umm, yes, I am sorry Officer, I am in hurry, you see I-"

"Ya lasses always in hurry-" he leaned on the window, "ya know, I was in hurry all ma' life and see...got me nowhere. Tell me Lass, da'ya have some money?"

My eyebrow raised, lips turned into grimace due to the stabbing pressure down there.

"Money..."

"Oh! Ya, I forgot my wallet at home. Ya see that store over there, I need ta buy somethin', for my girlfriend-", he pulled his pants up that had slid down more than it should have, "-meetin' her after a long time. Three years!"

"umm..."

"STAND DOWN! MA'AM GET OUT OF THE CAR FROM THE OTHER SIDE AS FAST AS YOU CAN! HE IS A MENTAL PATIENT! -", a gruff annoyed voice came from the blowhorn and I glanced at the 'Mental Patient' before scampering out from the other side, "-AND YOU, MR. CON, PUT YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR HEAD AND KNEEL DOWN."

I watched from the side as two officer came out from the car behind, one of them fully dressed looking handsome as ever, the other one on the other hand...was missing his pants. And Shirt, and his cap.

"AND GIVE ME BACK MY PANTS!!!!"

Even my pants were a bit dirty by now, I couldn't hold much longer.