One day Kili was walking through the park looking for a handsome idk gay kid

"Omg whos that skwunkly widdle bbg over there they look so hot OwO" kili thought to himself staring at the attractive person in front of them. Kili walks over to the attractive person and introduces himself

"Hi bbg I'm kili wanna play splatoon together bb 😘😘😘😘😍🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😍😍😍😍"

"O-o-9ooooo9oo9–9-9-9-oh hhhhhh))-)-)-)-)hhhhhhello iiiiimmmmm pp-0-0-0-0ppppppanfansslander OwO TwT"

"Hey bbg ur hot wanna make out"

"Ooooh ssssowwy Caspar is pppprretty hot"

Kili and Casp fight it out Casp is winning until

"ZOOWEEMAMA WHO IS THAT OVER THERE" Casp yells

He runs over there to the very attractive person named GUST leading panfansslander to believe kili has won the fight and then panfansslander and kili get married

The end

They divorced 1 year later because panfansslander wouldn't play splatoon with kili