His heavy legs drags against the floor board, feeling this heavy ache in his chest as the haunting memories of last night cruises through his mind.

And it wasn't the experience itself that felt as though a hammer slammed against his heart and shattered it to thin pieces, no not for Taehyung.

It was how all familiar it was.

It was almost as though they went back in time to those moments....... And it was..... Horrible reliving it.

Jimin was taking in Jeongguk and Taehyung at the same time, crying how much it hurts but followed his lustful pulses during that time to moan to continue. Jeongguk was mumbling names and words under his breath, his aggressive hands trailing all over Jimin's body a bit too hard that left faint red and purple on his skin. Taehyung was all the way too rough with hair yanking and planting his hand print on Jimin's butt.

In some cases people would find this hot, maybe even desirable to experience such heated and intimate moment. For the three of them, it was reliving the past, where they were toxic and wanted nothing more but control rather than love.

Taehyung hated who he became.

He hated is so much.

That's why his shakily body slid down against the wall, shakily fingers threading though his raven air with his body raking to the sobs that parted out of his lips.

What did he do..... What did he do.... All of that progress just gone.

All gone.

He hurt them again.

Why does this happen, why?

Taehyung didn't have the answers to that, and in someway he was glad he didn't have to torture his mind too much because soon enough arms wrapped themselves around his shakily body.

Followed by the scent of strawberries and cigarettes.

Ten.

"It's okay baby, it's okay," Ten whispers quietly, rubbing Taehyung's shoulder with a delicate hand, "Your door was open by the way so I hope this doesn't creep you out."

Thankfully this managed to ease a smile from Taehyung but he only went right back to crying, to which Ten only was left comforting him all through the morning.

________________________

There's no words to pinpoint specifically the mess that's running through Jeongguk's head right now, but it's anything but sane.

It's anything but calm, instead it's a complete disaster of multiple feelings and thoughts all at once. Worried of the future. Hatred of the past, and now a poisoned present because of what he did.

They were doing so well......

Maybe if alcohol was not involved, they would've been talking by now by how cool the nightclub was. Okay maybe that's a little too much, but they wouldn't be..... How they are now.

And Jeongguk's feelings wouldn't be a mess.

The second he got inside his apartment building that he shared with his sister, he wasn't even given the time to think because thin arms instantly wrapped around his neck in a sudden hug.

From his worried sister.

"Where the fuck have you been? I was so close to calling the cops!" Lisa snaps with the clear relief tone in his voice as she pulls away, cupping Jeongguk's cheeks to study his face, "Dont ever do something like that again-"

Jeongguk couldn't hold it in.

His arms abruptly holds Lisa tightly against his body with his face burying against her neck, letting the tears leak past his eyelids with his wobbly lips.

His sister.

He needs his sister.

"I messed up Lisa," Jeongguk chokes out, hugging her tighter, his body now shaking in anxiety to the memories, "I messed up again."

His words weren't making sense to Lisa but she didn't say anything. Jeongguk is having a mental break down right now and all Lisa could do for him is hold his body tightly against hers, rubbing his back and whisper that everything is going to be okay.

What Jeongguk did not notice within this moment was the other pair of eyes from the couch, watching silently with a deep frown on his lips. However he got the message to leave when Lisa made eye contact with him and nodded to the door.

So he did, feeling his own heart heavy how he wasn't able to help the heartbroken ravenette s he continued to cry to his sister until his tears ran out.

__________________________

Limping.

Jimin is limping.

He's limping from the elevator to the front door of his apartment. From that door to stepping a foot inside, to which to his relief Taemin and Kai aren't anywhere in sight.

His skin aches. His legs feel sore and even the back of his skull is burning in pain. His body feels so dirty to the point that he knows even after taking three showers it wouldn't be enough.

It wouldn't be enough to wipe that memory away.

Completely from existence.

Tears are burning his eyes as he slowly limps to his bedroom door, wanting to just curl up in his sheets and forget about the world completely. His throat is clenching hard as he slowly creaks his door open and steps inside.

Yet what he saw instead made his body freeze on the stop.

Right there laying on his bed, with the morning sunlight brushing the curtains and to the body, lays Taemin. He was in a comfortable pair of pajamas while being curled up to the pillow Jimin usually sleep on. His lips are parted as he sleeps soundly on Jimin's bed, waiting for him to come home.

And Jimin's anxiety spiked.

In other times, he would've found this scene cute and perhaps go on and snuggle with him as well to sleep.

But now he's panicking. He's panicking so hard by the sight of another body on his bed, how horrible it would appear if anyone were to come in and see that sight for themselves. How easily people would say he's a whore for fucking his two exes last night and now having another guy on his bed-

So wrong.

This is so wrong.

The vivid memory of Taehyung beating up his friends came to mind, along with Jeongguk's words convincing him that he's flirting and that he doesn't know how to put boundaries for himself.

So low.

Making him feel so low about himself.

And now it's back. T-Those thoughts are back and Jimin felt like fucking exploding!

They won't leave him alone!

So with his back pressed against the wall, he placing a shakily had on his neck where the harsh hickeys are located.

And he screams.

He screams the brutal memories back, the heavy pain in his body, the sensation of hands crawling his skin; He screams it all away.

Taemin abruptly shoots awake the second he heard Jimin, yet it was almost as though he was struck by darkness by his fragile Jimin appeared right now.

How weak he scrunches up while hugging his body, hoping he would just disappear.

"G-Get out."

Taemin for a moment didn't catch on that Jimin was talking to him and was ready to approach him, but Jimin once again screams while hugging his body fighter with blotchy cheeks in tears.

"I SAID GET OUT! NOW!"

The strain of his voice felt so painful, almost similar to sandpaper being rubbed from the inside. Jimin can't see anything now, can't think or feel, only wanting one thing and it's for the world to disappear.

For him to disappear.

When he yelled that out, Taemin was hesitant to go with his own teary eyes but he listened to him either way, leaving and closing the door shut behind them.

Letting Jimin scream his heart out all he wanted, alone.

_________________________
A/N:
Yeah...... I said this would get chaotic and messy.......

But wait, it's not done yet!

I PURPLE YOU! <33