Light - Sleeping At Last

There's absolutely nothing that is making sense in Woosung's mind right now.

It's all in a hectic blur since the second he got that text from Lucas, not wasting time in waking up Jeongguk and literally getting out of the apartment like this in their pajamas.

Not like they care after those blasts of messages.

There's so much energy Woosung is putting to not going into a heaving mental breakdown right now when he arrived to the hospital, literally pouncing out of Jeongguk's car the second they arrived and storming through the sliding doors.

And he didn't waste time in running off to the direction of the hospital room.

"WOOSUNG WAIT!"

"DON'T GO IN THERE!"

Hearing his friends shout back out to him was the fearing pulse that made him run faster, nearly tripping over his feet multiple times by how badly his legs are trembling. He tried to sliding past nurses and patients smoothly and unfortunately crashed into a few along the way, in such a hurry to even apologize because he didn't even feel it.

All he could focus on is the way his heart slammed against his chest, pulses shooting in so much adrenaline that it felt like he was fucking flying.

And before he knew it, he was in front of Ten's door.

"Woosung-"

Blocking out Yoongi's voice in a distance, Woosung pushes himself to open the door and storm inside.

And his heart nearly dropped to his knees.

Ten isn't here.

Oh God....

Woosung's bloodshot eyes scours the room but he's not anywhere here, only an empty bed.

No.....

N-No.

Woosung rubs his neck to the knot forming in his throat, feeling the tears burn his eyes that were provoked by the multiple stabs in his heart.

His body was just seconds away from giving up.

No, he has to be here.

Where is he!

In his heap of emotional rage, Woosung turns around to a sobbing Yoongi and grabs him by the collar of his shirt. Immediately Jeongguk tried to get in the middle just as Taehyung and Jimin stormed into the room seconds later, immediately getting involved in separating them.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS TEN!"

"Woosung please calm down-"

"NO! I-I CAN'T CALM DOWN!" Woosung screams in a weak shriek, his voice cracking so much as though it was going to shattered in any second, "WHERE'S MY TEN?!"

Yoongi doesn't say anything, only stares back at him with his own teary eyes as he doesn't even try to get Woosung's hands off him.

This silence was like puncturing a hole in Woosung's heart, seeing nothing but red and so much blur in his vision that was almost like an illusion.

He needs answers!

Why is everyone so fucking scared-

"Ah shit, more people, my luck."

Woosung froze.

He completely froze.

Unable to look anywhere else besides the door, where two nurses are dragging another small bed inside with wheels.

With Ten resting on it.

With his eyes opened.

Awake.

He's...... He's awake.

"Ten?!" Taehyung squeaks at his best friend, who twitches a smile back as the nurses arrive inside and gently helped Ten get on the other bed.

Woosung couldn't move.

His eyes are wide, breathing now feeling much more pitched and heavier to inhale into his lungs, seeing everything else blurred except for the man with a fluffy raven hair now laying on the bed with a couple pillows behind him to sit him up.

Ten.....

He's awake.....

He's alive....

His complexion still looks pale, almost as though he recently just woke up. His eyes are hooded and lips once again filled with color.

He's.... Awake....

Ten is awake.

One of the nurses left while the other stayed, turning around to face everyone else, "Alright so we did some tests on him in regards to brain activity and we'll see the results of it tomorrow. Due to his comatose state, he is experiencing a bit confusion so please don't try to ask so many questions," And she suddenly grabs a medicine cup filled with pills, "We are aware of Ten's disorder so we have these pills for him to take, but he's refusing it. So maybe one of you guys can help convince him. This room is a little crowd so I'm going to need a couple of you to step out. I'll be checking in again in three hours, as for now call me if he's in pain or experiencing dizziness."

And with that the nurse left the cup of pills on Ten's night stand and sends everyone a smile before exiting the room.

All eyes now on Ten.

The other male is only staring blankly at the ceiling, not saying anything. The neck brace he had is gone, along with the tubes from his mouth and nose, but still connected to his IV and not the heart monitor.

Woosung was having trouble standing properly, feeling his legs become like jello as he stares at Ten and not anywhere else.

He didn't even feel it when Jeongguk places a securing hand on his shoulder, trying to keep him steady when he began to sway.

This is not a dream.

Ten is sitting right there, in front of him; alive.

After multiple weeks, he's awake and....

Fuck.

Woosung's lips wobbled, not even noticing when everyone else left the room to give Jeongguk and Woosung the privacy to be with him.

It was quiet, so quiet yet Woosung heard his heart thumping so loudly against his chest drumming against his ears. Even when he couldn't move, Jeongguk guides him to step closer to Ten, all the way until they were by his side on the bed.

Ten flickers his eyes to Woosung, his face softening up almost instantly to the way the man was a hyperventilating mess in front of him. The shock so paralyzing that it was even so hard to breathe.

And he nearly screamed when Ten gently reaches a hand over, taking his hand into his tightly.

"I..... I-I'm sorry," Ten croaks weakly, his voice like a piercing knife into Woosung's lungs, "This m-must've scared you and I'm..... I-I'm so sorry."

Woosung finally reacted.

He places a shakily hand over his lips, trying to hold back any sobs that were threatening to escape.

No, he has to be strong.

He has to be strong for him.

He can cry later in so much relief, but now he has to be strong for this moment.

So he relaxes upon feeling Jeongguk rubbing his back, inhaling deeply before squeezing back Ten's hand, removing his hand to force a smile, "Don't be sorry, it wasn't your fault."

"But it was," Ten whispers, snapping Woosung's heart in half, "I wanted to die."

That felt like a blow, a strong blow to the stomach that Woosung for sure lost his balance but Jeongguk's grip tighten around him to keep him in place from collapsing to the ground.

What?

No.... No this is probably the effects of him waking up talking....

Jeongguk gets involved, placing a hand on Ten's knee with a frown, "Hey, you don't mean that-"

"I do, I wanted to kill myself," And strangely so Ten twitched a smile, "What are you doing here? I thought you already finished off abandoning me.... Came to take Woosung off too?"

The sudden remark was like a slap across the face, leaving Woosung shocked that he even said such things in the first place.

Well that was so sudden.

Woosung furrows his eyebrows and tightens his hold, "Ten, you know I wouldn't leave you."

"You will one day," Ten chuckles to himself, shaking his head with a twitching frown, "Just like how Kook did, it's only a matter of time after all."

"Hey, stop talking like that," Jeongguk says a bit more sternly, growing fearful to the way he's speaking like this, "The Ten that I know wouldn't give up on things-"

And Ten laughed.

He laughed hard.

Woosung blinks at him, taking a cautious step back but then his gaze falls to the medication on the table.

His medicine....

He hasn't taken his medicine.

"The Ten that you know?" He spat, that smile now shifting to a scowl so angry that made Woosung gulp thickly, "I don't even know who the fuck that is anymore. Ha, it was all part of the illusion sweetie. Hate to break reality into you."

Woosung grabs the cup of the pills and shakily holds it tightly, "Ten..... Please take your medicine."

Ten snaps his gaze to Woosung and then the cup, teeth gritted now, "You think I'm crazy now huh? That I should be taking fucking medication to stop myself from speaking the truth!"

"N-No it's just..... You know you need to take-"

Ten scoots away from it, from them, to the other side of the bed with quivering lips as his eyes continues to glare to the pills but in a much more fragile stare.

"I didn't want to be here... Alive. Now I made you guys upset," He whispers to himself, hugging his body with his trembling arms, "I deserve to be alone. I'm so crazy, who tries to kill themselves from a motorcycle accident huh? No no, it was a good idea because after all, not like I'm going to do shit in my life right?"

The cup in Woosung's hands are rattling by how uncontrollable his grip is on it, seeing the symptoms Yoongi was talking about to him one day that Woosung went over to get a better picture of Ten's disorder.

And now he sees it here.

Unstable emotional state.

Identity crisis.

Suicidal attempts.

Impulsiveness.

Fear of abandonment.

It's there, more left to show as well, in just a spam of minutes has Woosung got to see how unstable Ten truly was.

And he never noticed it before.

No he has to keep himself together.

Ten needs him, whether he wants to believe it or not.

So Woosung calmed himself down, trying to take deep breathes to relax his body before slowly sitting down on the bed Ten is laying in, who's still muttering things to himself in paranoia.

"Hey baby," Woosung cooes calmly, making Ten snap his eyes to him, "You know I was scared to be left alone too, right?"

Ten blinks a few times, shaking his head, "B-But you would've had everyone else-"

"Yeah so would you," Woosung whispers to keep the environment calm, "But I still would've been scared because.... I would've lost you. Now I feel like I'm not doing a good job at helping you but I want to."

And he places a hand to where Jeongguk is on his shoulder, "We want to," Ten glances at their hands and back to Woosung's face, "But you need to help us understand, and we won't let you go."

Ten sucks his shakily bottom lip in his mouth, his eyes becoming so wide and childlike that he even appeared so small.

"Promise?"

Woosung offers him a comforting smile, extending the cup of pills, "Promise."

The hesitation is clearly there behind Ten's unsettling eyes, staring at the cup now with a deep frown but eventually rises his hand up and carefully takes the cup.

He stares at it from his hand and wiped his nose with a tissue from how it kept sniffling.

"Water please."

Jeongguk instantly got the water bottle from the nightstand and gives it to him open, all the while Ten shoves the pills one by one in his mouth while gulping down the water.

All the way until he finished them all.

Woosung feels much more relaxed as Ten finishes taking his medication, giving the water back to Jeongguk before scooting back closer to them with a little wince to the still healing pain on his stomach by his rib.

"I'm a mess aren't I?"

There he is.

Woosung softly chuckles at him as he grabs his hand again, feeling the warmness in his heart when Ten twitches a smile back on his own.

"Aren't we all?" And he rubs his knuckles tenderly before placing a kiss over it, "But we can be a mess together."

It's clear that Ten doubted Woosung's words but he didn't say anything, only held him in tighter before looking past him and to Jeongguk.

"So if you're here, I'm assuming trouble in paradise?"

Jeongguk snickers to this, "Seems like you were right, as always, and I'm an idiot."

"Sounds like a single man thing to say."

"For now, yeah," And he gently placed his hand over to where Woosung and Ten had their fingers interlaced together, "But maybe with time you could change that?"

Ten tried not to smile to this, shaking his head to himself, "Got to try a little harder than that after leaving me for them a second time."

"Then I will, no matter how long it takes. Until you both can trust me again, or even grow to love me."

Woosung's heart skipped a beat to this but his stomach flutters to that word. Such a different reaction to what Ten had, who scrunches up his face in disgust.

"This is why I don't do relationships, that was horribly corny."

This made both Woosung and Jeongguk burst in laughs, even made Ten perk a few chuckles too as the medicine slowly began to do its own effect.

All the while their hands still remain interlaced together.

_______________________________
A/N:

He woke up!!!!

Yay!!!

Alright so the reason I did not make this so horribly angsty with him dying is because this is not part of the generation books, it's a therapeutic book to be up and happy. To learn about different subjects and about relationships.

So no, no one dying lol

Also I've done my research on BPD and I wrote this based on the the information I gathered. I tried to write it as accurately as possible, so I'm sorry if there's a something written wrongly in regards to it. I always try to do my research about these things before I write it, but always feel free to educate me if there is something wrong. Also as a reminder, I don't write about disorders in order to sensationalize it in any way, I want to spread awareness about these things and help remove the stigma surrounding it.

Thank you!

Man this book is really ending huh.....

I should really prepare you guys for the other sorry lol

I PURPLE YOU! <3333