Dancing With Your Ghost - Sasha Sloan

Silence.

That's the only thing that feels like makes sense at this very moment.

Silence.

Well, not complete silence. The heart monitor is the quiet background music, followed by the breathing machine besides the motionless man laying on the bed. Nothing seems to have changed, no matter how much time seems to have passed by in a blur. Probably the sun slowly disappearing in a horizon is the only thing that has really shifted the light in the room, but even then the heaviness of those colors still won't be seen by the person who holds the brightest soul than these lights combined.

It just comes to show that life could be in such a constant pace, a routine that everyone was so use to living, but it only takes on second for it to all change. A thought, an action, just one decision and that motion not only messes up with one's self but those around too, their life now being surrounded by the fear of the future to how unpredictable life can be.

That's the brutal reality; It's unpredictable.

One minute Jeongguk was learning how to live by the angel laying on the hospital bed and the other angel laying his head on his shoulder, peacefully sleeping. For just one span of a moment he forgot how heavy life was like from those haunting moments of his past. Then life got fucked up again, he got fucked up again with his own feelings, growing use to a toxic routine with people that was like sweet wine during the laughs but brutal poison amongst the screams.

A routine he couldn't get out of, no matter how much he tried to see how venomous it was running through his veins.

That's the thing with life, it gives you a moment of an illusion; where you feel invincible and powerful to the side of joy. Carrying that to hope it influences that darkness but it never happens if the heart is weak. One moment you could be on cloud nine to suddenly be slammed with someone so dear losing their life at any second of the day.

That's.... The scary part. Not knowing if your mother, father, even your dog could be there one moment of bliss but you just blink and they're not there anymore.

Just like Ten is not there.

Jeongguk should be use to this type of rotation in life; having someone so dear be gone in just a matter of seconds. Someone you never thought would leave.

The worst part apart from them being gone is the hole, the guilt in your heart that you could've been a better person to them. Spend more time under the sunset while eating ice cream in a summer day or go to that ice skating rink they've been dying to go to but you would say no because you hated ice skating.

Yeah, those moments.

You wish to turn back and make things be different.

That's all really running through Jeongguk's mind, how he could've changed those moments and decisions in his past so.... Maybe this wouldn't have happened.

Ten would be here..... Just if Jeongguk..... Ugh, so much regret.

Just.... Regret.

The worst part must be not knowing if Ten is even going to wake up, so they could make new memories together. So Jeongguk could treasure those moments more and make sure he won't have to self doubt again, about himself or anyone of their care for him.

He just hopes Ten does wake up, to get his second chance.

Ten has to be okay.

He has to be.

"Bambi," Jeongguk snaps himself out of his depressing thoughts, shifting in his seat as Woosung lifted his head from his shoulder while sleepily rubbing his eyes, "You didn't sleep?"

Earlier after Jeongguk and Woosung ate their lunch, they talked to Ten for a while in hopes to send him good vibes to hopefully motivate him to wake up. They shared funny memories the three had together, even laughed for a while too.

When the silence arrived though, Jeongguk much preferred sleeping the pain away than dwelling to the thought that Ten may never wake up again.

So on this uncomfortable love seat chair, Jeongguk and Woosung sat down as they gazed at Ten. Hoping he would just wake up, or give a sign that he's listening. It never happened and Woosung ended up falling asleep to that thought while Jeongguk stayed awake.

For the next four hours.

It's clear that Woosung hasn't been getting enough sleep lately due to everything that was going on. Clearly with Jeongguk here he feels secure or safe enough to close his eyes and drift off to another world just for a while.

If only Jeongguk could feel the same way too.

So with a heavy sigh, the ravenette shakes his head, "I couldn't, but as long as you slept well that's all that matters to me."

Woosung chuckles dryly to this, sitting up while stretching his limbs, "This chair is so uncomfortable that I may have pulled a muscle," And his eyes flickers over to Ten, "How's our boy?"

A small leap in Jeongguk's heart skipped to the sound of that, immediately swallowing it down to not let it feel so.... Overwhelming.

In a good way.

So Jeongguk stretched his own arms as well, "Just in his own world," He says, moving to sit back on the chair, "I don't want to leave.....I feel like if I do then I'll just get a call that-"

His eyes flutters close, hiding the burn behind his eyelids. The inside of his throat felt once against as though it's being rubbed by sand paper, but he doesn't let it reach the full extent of it.

Not now.

Woosung needs a strong pillar.

Jeongguk won't be weak now, not in front of him at least.

"Hey it's okay," Woosung coes softly, placing his hand on Jeongguk's shoulder, "I understand. That fear. Being so scared that he won't wake up-"

The quiver in Woosung's voice escalated too, snapping Jeongguk's gaze to look at him. His heart ached when he sees how badly Woosung is trying to keep himself together, smiling his pain away through his teary orbs.

Oh baby.

"Shh it's okay-"

"- I'm scared too that the second he's gone, I won't be here to at least say goodbye," Woosung chokes out as Jeongguk gently caresses the back of his head, all the while he rubs his shakily hand against his throat while shaking his head, "But we have to be positive okay? Ten is a fighter and he won't leave us."

Jeongguk nods, guiding Woosung closer to hold hun tightly in his arms. Neither of them are crying, they probably don't have more tears to cry anymore, but they still held each other like this. So tightly to outweigh the pain with comfort, reassurance that they understand each other's feelings.

Each other's pain.

While feeling this sense of safety, secure.

That they're not so lonely in this world.

Being like this made Jeongguk feel like a sense of protection, as though Woosung was going to shield him from all the arrows the world was ready to throw at him. That same burning comfort fueled his soul, for the first time in nearly two months having this sense as though he wasn't completely losing his mind.

That he.... Was good.

Not a.... Monster.

He wasn't a monster.

Not with Woosung.

Not with Ten.

He was someone he wanted to be.

That warm feeling in his heart felt too overwhelming but he loved it, wanting nothing more but to continue feeling like this.... Always.

When Woosung started to pull away from Jeongguk's arms, Jeongguk's arms tightened to not let him go. Woosung is facing him, eyebrows twitching in a furrow but he gulps thickly when Jeongguk's hand from the back of his head traces to his cheek.

This is wrong.

It's wrong on so many levels.

But Jeongguk felt like it was right.

He felt like this is what he needed.

To finally see.

"Bambi..... Careful with that you're about to do next."

Jeongguk stares into Woosung's hesitant eyes, cupping both of his cheeks now as his heart fuels with heat to the intimate touch.

"I've been careful and I lost you both, I'm not going to be anymore."

Woosung's lips parted in shock to what he said, his guard shivering down just like his gaze to Jeongguk's soft lips. When he looked back to Jeongguk's eyes, that was enough for the ravenette to know.

He wasn't going to stop him.

He didn't want to.

So Jeongguk slowly leans forward, Woosung meeting him half way just as their lips met.

Oh god, Jeongguk wanted to cry.

He..... He felt so..... Peaceful.

Not a strand of worry traced his veins, not even shame or regret. It was like him mind for once went blank, not having that fear of how he's going to change and become someone he's not.

He craved this feeling so much, to just feel peaceful.

Like a safe haven.

And he's felt that before, with Ten and Woosung in the past.

That feeling.... It's still there.

It's so pure and bright.

No matter how much time has passed.

Even when the two slowly pulled away, that flutter still echoed in Jeongguk's heart when his gaze found Woosung's sparkling eyes.

And he knew he felt the same way too.

No words were said but the small smile on their lips said it all. So Jeongguk leans forward and presses another kiss to the side of Woosung's head before he stands up, moving his feet to Ten laying down on the bed.

He stares at him for a moment as he studies his peaceful expression, slowly taking his hand in his and gently holds it, leaning down to press a kiss on his forehead.

"I'm not leaving you, I promise."

His quiet words he mumbled against his skin felt warm, something he knew Ten needed to hear.

That someone is there waiting for him.

A hand interlaced his other free hand, making Jeongguk relax as he pulls away. His eyes followed the way Woosung stands beside him, staring at Ten with this loving stare before also pressing his lips against Ten's forehead.

"We love you."

Yeah.... They really do.

And that's something that Jeongguk is never willing to deny it every again.

So he wraps his arm around Woosung by the shoulders, letting him lean his back against Jeongguk's chest.

While both of their hands clasp over Ten's motionless hand, refusing to let him go again.

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A/N:
This is so sad :(

Man........ My heart can't take it ahhhhh

Alrighty Taehyung's scene is coming up in a few moments!

I PURPLE YOU! <33