Before You Go- Lewis Capaldi

Jimin didn't go to his room when he went up stairs.

He didn't even bother stopping by there and went straight to a few rooms down instead, his body trembling as he eased himself in front of the familiar door to a specific person's room. However instead of taking forever to decide whether to go inside or not, Jimin just went straight to opening the door gently so there wouldn't be room for self doubt.

And luckily for Jimin, the owner of the room was not asleep yet, or was his company.

That however didn't stop the stir in Jimin's stomach when he met their gazes, feeling as though he shrunk into size. It's not like their stares were intense, but Jimin just knows he hurt them, and so by their gazes it felt so suffocating.

No, Jimin has to talk to them.

He has to make them understand.

"Jimin, what are you-"

"This is not something I can easily explain okay!" Jimin instantly blurts out when he steps into the room out of panic, after closing the door behind him, refusing to look at them in the eye, "W-We decide to do this b-because we thought it would be better for us. As some reality check or something, I don't fucking know. All I know is that I am feel like I'm tied to them and no matter what I do, I still feel that way! S-So with this relationship, we're hoping we can.... Just stop feeling this dependency to each other, okay?"

It was quiet, so quiet after Jimin sudden confession that it felt like a sudden explosion went off, leaving this deafening silence in its awake.

Taemin is leaning against the wall, eyes so emotionless as he stares at the ground as though Jimin's statement didn't even affect him.

Meanwhile Yeosang..... He was another case.

He tried to understand.

He really really did.

But he just couldn't.

Maybe it's because he's clouded with his own stupid feelings to see clearly, but he just can't see how being with the same people who hurt Jimin will in any way help him in the future.

His fear is that he'll get hurt again and again, or that this is just some mind manipulation that forced into him.

So of course Yeosang was more expressive with his emotions. It was noticeable when he stands up and turns to look at Jimin, "Honestly Jimin, I'm not even mad about this anymore. You know why? Because the signs were all there. You were always going to find your way back to them, I was just the dumbass who let it go for so long."

This pinched Jimin's heart painfully, like a brutal sting, but he didn't keep his mouth shut, "I tried to move on okay! I even told you that I wanted nothing serious and that I still need time to get ready for a relationship! I didn't intend for this to happen."

Yeosang's eyes narrowed, fist balled on his side, "Me and Taemin have tried to help you! We tried to help you move on, giving you all of us just so you can be happy! Are we just not good enough level of toxicity for you!"

A shakily hand runs through Jimin's hair, tears beaming his eyes, "I am trying not to hurt you or anyone okay! I want to be free!"

"So by chaining yourself to the same thing that held you captive is the way to go? Unbelievable."

"STOP BEING A LITTLE BITCH AND TRY TO UNDERSTAND ME!"

Yeosang takes a step forward, jolting Jimin to take a step back with a whimper to his intense gaze.

"Don't fucking insult me! I'm not Jeongguk or Taehyung for you to be calling me names!"

No- Jimin didn't.... Fuck! He's not thinking properly!

Anxiously he hugs his own body, "You don't understand, you will never understand what I'm feeling-"

"I do."

And suddenly Jimin's eyes falls to the quiet voice in the room, landing to Taemin's body who still hasn't moved away from the wall. His gaze was still focused on the ground but then he slowly looks at Jimin, the vulnerable emotions slowly oozing back.

"I fell in love with someone, who didn't feel the same in return. You feel like you can't move on from that person, no matter what you do, you can't shrug them off," Taemin whispers weakly, pushing himself off the wall, arms crossed over his chest now, "The funny thing about that was.... I always knew where I would end up, yet I still clung onto that hope. Is that how you feel? Hm? Hoping things could change to your favor despite knowing the outcome."

Progressively Taemin's voice was growing more and more passive aggressive, but much more on the emotional side rather than anger. Jimin didn't notice it earlier but now he can see how badly he's unstable with his body trembling and his eyes swollen, clear from a previous crying session.

Jimin's lips parted, trying to know what to say so ease him, "Taemin.... I... I didn't want to hurt you-"

"I can't offer you anything Jimin," Taemin stops in front of him, his lips twitching to wobble but he holds it back, "I can't offer you money whenever you need it, or my time every second of the day. I can't offer everything you deserve but please."

To Jimim horror and heart broken despair, Taemin drops to his knees in front of him, grabbing both of his hands tightly with his teary eyes.

"D-Don't go back to them, p-please," Taemin begs, his voice hoarse as he tries hard not to cry, "I saw you suffer so much because of them, so much Gatita and it was so painful seeing you the way you were...... I can't.... My heart won't be able to take seeing you so broken like that again! Please don't go back to them! Please! Let me protect you Jimin!"

Jimin didn't expect this to be so hard.

He didn't expect to see his best friend on his knees, begging him to not go back to the same nightmare he lived in before.

Even Yeosang had to look away by how emotion he was getting himself, trying to compose himself to be the stronger of the three.

But there's no stronger one, not now.

There's only clear and utter vulnerability.

Something no one could hide so easily.

That's why Jimin, for what feels like the fifth time today, begins to cry. He's shaking his head, trying to keep himself focused onto why he's doing this.

This is going to be his way to freedom.

To finally move on alone, for him to see the reality on his own.

He can't back out of it now.

"T-Taemin please," Jimin whispers shakily, tugging his hands, "Dont do this-"

"I'm in love with you!"

Now that felt like a brutal slap across the face, it even burned.

Taemin.... His best friend....

Come on please don't make this so hard!

Desperately Jimin looks up to Yeosang for help, but Yeosang only stares at the ground this town with a hard stare, his mind clearly in the process of running wild.

So Jimin looks back to Taemin in panic, shaking his head and steps back, "I-I'm sorry, I just can't do this."

And suddenly when Jimin was about to turn around, Taemin screams.

A heartbroken and pained scream.

It was more like a shriek than a scream, but either way the emotions were painfully there of how this decision Jimin is doing is destroying him.

He suddenly wrapped his arms around Jimin's torso, hugging him tightly while burying his face against his abdomen, sobbing painfully against the fabric of his shirt.

"Please don't go! Please Jimin just let me protect you! They're going to hurt you and I-I can't let them!" Taemin cries hard against him, forcing more sobs out of Jimin's lips, "I can't offer you much but I can guarantee you I'll make you happy! The three of us will protect each other a-and you'll forget about them! Yeah? We just need to get away-"

"Taemin-"

"I will cook you for every morning or any time of the day! We can watch any movie you want whenever you want to!"

"P-Please Taemin-"

"Jimin please don't break my heart like this! I know I sound so selfish but I'm d-doing this for your own good," Taemin continues to beg against his right hold around the other male, "I love you okay, I love you and I've been holding this in for too long! I've had so many chances and I blew them up because I was a coward! And now I'm scared because I don't know if I will ever get a chance to be with you if you go back to them!"

He sounds so broken.

This is the first time Jimin has ever seen him this because he's usually so composed, and now he resembles so much of a sobbing child without a care to how he make look right now.

He just wants Jimin to stay, that's all he wants.

And unfortunately Jimin cannot grant him that wish.

Jimin's doing this for himself and for them, just so they wouldn't suffer with his confusing feelings. If he stays than he will always be confused whenever he talks to Jeongguk and Taehyung or have this need to be close to them.

I'm sorry Taemin.

Once again Jimin looks up to Yeosang, who at that same time starts walking towards the two.

And he wraps his arms around Jimin's shoulders, hugging him tightly.

"Please stay," Yeosang quietly pleads against his ear, making Jimin squeeze his eyes shut to suppress his waterfall of tears, "Just let us in, please."

Not now.

Now is not the time.

First Jimin had to figure himself first before letting anyone else in.

I'm sorry Yeosang.

"I have to go," Jimin shutters out, pulling away from Yeosang's embrace and grabbing Taemin's wrists to remove them from his waist, just as Taemin proceeds to weep pitifully on the ground in defeat, "Please forgive me."

And with that Jimin storms out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Slamming a hand against his mouth now, he screams against his palm, still being able to hearing Taemin sobs through the other side of the door.

__________________________
A/N:
This reminded me of a chapter in LWR, kinda similar but roles reversed.

Well up next is Jeongguk with Woosung and Ten...... Oh boy.

I PURPLE YOU! <333