So, many of you tried to kill Ryan because what he did in the last chapter! :p That was funny to be honest because you guys care so much about Jady. Thank you for giving so much love to a fiction character. Means a lot to me Chubby Bells!  :p

Dedicated to @wondrous_ for her wonderful comments and support! Thank you!  :))

CHAPTER 45 - Heartbreaker

"That first love, Oh. such joy. Such beauty. And that first heartbreak. So bitter. So painful. That's enough to run any girl dark."

This dialogue from Beautiful Creature suits my situation right now. My first love was just like a... miracle. Everything was so magical and fairy tale like. But then came last evening, when it all ended in a heartbeat. Just in a second. 

It's true that it don't take much time to fall in love..but takes your whole life to forget your first heartbreak and the person who was ones you're life but now is just a bad memory, a memory who broke your heart, who toke away your heart once and now crushed it into million pieces.

First love is always irreplaceable and first heartbreak is unforgettable.

Last evening was still fresh in my head. His words were roaming in my mind...

"This won't work Jade."

"I know we were friends when we were kids, we used to play and all. But now, we're grown up. Everything doesn't stay forever. It's not working."

"Maybe it was just in the moment or an attraction."

"And that's why I am ending this relationship."

I shook my head, trying to send away those painful words.

Since, I heard those eight words, I've been crying. When Ryan left me, standing there alone with my broken heart, I came back to my room and throwed myself on the bed and began to cry. 

It's said that crying helps to prevent you from future emotional breakdowns and to wash away the bottled up emotions. I've been crying since last night but it seems like it's not working. My emotions are still there, still fresh and painful.

I was lying in my bed, of course, crying when I heard a knock on my door. 

I don't have the strength to get up and open it. I am too drained out.

"Wake up Princess. Don't you want to go to school?' dad's voice called. I am wide awake dad. Who can fall asleep after getting dumped so badly.

"I don't want to go to school today." I shouted, my face pressed in my pillow. It's all wet by now.

"Why? Are you not well?" his voice turned concern.

"Please dad. I am not in the mood to talk. Please let me stay home." I pleaded.

"Open the door." he ordered.

"I won't."

"I am allowing you to stay home, justt open the door Princess." he spoke. I won't. I don't want him to see my running, red nose, tired eyes and tears.

"I am changing." I lied.

"Okay, but stay safe Princess. If you don't feel good then we can go to the doctor right away." he announced.

"I am fine dad." I said. pressing my face in the pillow. 

"Okay then. I gotta go. Take care Princess." I heard his voice and felt relieved.

No need to answer his questions now.

My eyes fell on the book Fault in our stars, lying on my desk when a line from that book crashed my mind..

"Oh, I wouldn't mind. It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.” 

Hell my privilege! 

I never even thought in my dreams that he'll dump me like this. 

And the thing that hurts the most..that my first relationship didn't even lasted for a week.

Can you believe it? I must be cursed from getting loved. I never got Shaggy, or Aiden and not even Ryan. 

My phone's beeping sound dragged me away from my thoughts. I didn't want to talk to anyone right now. But thinking it maybe urgent, I grabbed my phone and saw a message from Jess and one from Blair.

From : Barbie Blair

Are you alright Jady? Why didn't come to school today? :(

My friends know that I don't like to skip school unless it's my health problem. They know me too well.

I pressed the reply button and typed..

To : Barbie Blair

I am fine. Just not in the mood to come. :)

I added a smiley in the end to show that it's all fine but it's not. It's anything but fine. I am crying here  because of him.

From : Jess

Not coming to school today? Is everything all right? :)

Like I said, they know me too well.

To : Jess

Yupe, everything's fine. :)

Just the opposite though.

I throwed my phone away from me, not wanting to answer anyone again.

"Open the door Bozohead." I heard Sage's voice call.

Urg, not again.

"I am changing." I used the same excuse again.

"You said the same thing to dad. And now you're changing again?" she asked.

"Yeah, I love to change my clothes." I made an awful excuse.

"Open it Jade. I am serious. I don't care if you're changing. I can still break in because I am your sister. Now open." she stated.

I sighed and got up from my bed. there's on use of fighting with her. She may even break in.

I unlocked the door and again dragged myself to my bed. I got on the bed and pulled on the covers. Sage saw my face and gasped in shock.

"What happened?" she asked, sitting on my side.

"Nothing." I answered weakly, like I'll cry any minute.

"And you're crying and looking like a red monkey without any reason?" she asked.

I nodded.

"Don't lie to me Jade. I know you well enough. Just tell me what happened." she said when tears began to stream on my cheeks. Not again, I can't cry again.

"Rya-Ryan broke up with m-me." I stammered and then began to cry when Sage enveloped me into a warm hug.

"Sshh, don't cry. But why?" she asked.

"I thinks that all this was just sudden attraction, nothing else." I cried, with my face buried in Sage's shoulder. It's a good feeling to know that at least, my sister loves me.

"Jerkhead." she muttered under her breath. 

"Don't cry over that stupid jerk Jade. He don't deserve it." she stated, caring my hair while I cried.

"It's not that easy." I cried.

"I know." she said.

But then something came to my mind..

Did he broke up with me because he loves Sage?

Can that happen?

I mean they dated but it didn't work out. Maybe Ryan liked her but she didn't?

It can happen right? It can.

After the school hours ended, Blair and Jess came over and gasped at my condition. I had no choice but to tell them everything.

"I never thought that him as such a jerk." Blair commented.

"But you know now. Jade, you don't worry. You'll be alright. I promise. We'll go to movies tonight, okay?" Jess tried to cheer me up. I really appreciate her efforts but I am not in the mood.

I was too lost to hear them. I wasn't crying anymore but the pain was still there, banging in my chest, breaking my heart again.

The good time I had with him surfed in my head causing the tears to drop from my eyes but I kept my eyes on the door, not looking at my friends even a single time.

"Aw, don't cry Jady." Blair hugged me and Jess smiled.

"You know what's funny?" I asked, forcing a smile.

"What?" Jess asked, both of them looking confused.

"That my very first relationship didn't even lasted for a week. Maybe I don't deserve to be loved." I said and left out a dry chuckle.

"Don't say that. You deserve the best. Maybe that's why this break up occured, Maybe God wants much better for you. Someone better than that bastard." Jess announced.

"Hey language in the house." Blair mocked her mom and then chuckled, trying to cool the atmosphere.

I smiled at them when Blair exclaimed,"There. She smiled! People goes crazy to see your billion dollar smile and you were hiding it? Not good."

"Now let's go watch some movies.." Jess announced cheerfully.

"And don't forget the ice cream." Blair said.

"We won't. Come let's get you ready Miss messed up." Jess tried to pull me up.

"Hey, I am not messed up." I spoke.

"Yeah right. You look horrible Jady." Blair commented.

"Well, thank you." I said sardonically.

"Come on, let's go."

-

-

We were sitting in the theater but my mind was on him. The one who cared once like I am all he got and then broke me like I am the last one he'll ever choose.

I know they say that first love is always the sweetest, true. Very true.

But that first cut through the heart is the deepest.

I know I should forget about him. He broke my heart. I thought he loved me but guess I was wrong the whole time.

But you know, it's always very painful to say goodbye or forget those who you don't want to let go. And I don't want to let him go.

Maybe I was the stupid one the whole time. I thought this as his love and care for me. But according to him, it was just attraction. 

It doesn't hurt so much because he dumped me. It hurt because he didn't felt the same I did. That he took this as lust. That he didn't love or even liked me.

God, please take the pain away from me.

"Nice movie right?" Jess asked, offering me the popcorn.

"Yeah." I lied and shook my head as a no.

I was not paying attention to the crap movie. All in my mind was him, my heartbreaker.

You may have heard that line that when you truly care for someone, their mistakes never change our feelings because it's the mind that gets angry but the heart still cares.

The same's with me. I want to forget him, get angry on him. But my heart, it still cares for that jerk, eventhough he was the one who broke it.

God, this whole thing has made me so stupid. I am talking about heart and love? Heart is not invloved in loving someone. It just pumps our blood, nothing else. I am going crazy.

Heart : But I still understand your pain. I feel for you poor thing.

Me : Thanks.

Heart : But I am broken into pieces.

Me : I am sorry about that. I was stupid to fall for him.

Heart : Getting heartbroken doesn't mean that you're stupid. It's him because he didn't see your love.

My heart's very thoughtful.

Tears dropped from my eyes as I thought the time when we were together. The time we spend in that park, the time when spend passing comment about each other, the time we spend laughing carelessly, the time when we kissed, the time when we were together.

Ahh, I can't cry. I just can't. I have to grow much stronger. I know I am stronger than this. All I have to do is try.

All my body parts in unison : Yay! Go for it Jade!

I have to get over him, no matter what. He can't break my heart like this. He don't have any right do. 

I won't forgive you so easily Ryan because you know why...

Because you'll always be the first one to whom I gave my heart and also the first one to crush it into pieces. 

********

Ahh, emotion overloaded! :((

I felt sad while writing this one! :'(((

Are you guys sad as well?? Look what you did Ryan! 

Isn't that picture heartbreaking? :'( --->

Sorry, short chapter! :))

Hope you liked it! :))

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Have a great day Chubby Bells! :pp