Zemira

Timing - it was a sneaky little bastard. 

Like all aspects of life, when things seemed calm and the timing seemed perfect, it was only the calm before the storm and the perfection before flaws appeared.

Leo's moved-up deployment dates appeared as grim clouds of uncertainty to gobble my sunlight of joy. The news gripped everything we planned and sucked it into a void.

For the past few days, our apartment tossed away the silken symbol of tranquility and donned the bulky garb of chaos. Every day closing in on a month, Leo and I drifted apart. The forces of the universe that brought us together and fused us into each other's lives, roared with determination - now wanting to rip us apart.

The miserable reminder of being alone once Leo would leave crept into my thoughts. It filled me with fear and robbed my chance for a happy future. Like two people who were destined to meet and part ways, Leo and I were drawing the journey to its completion.

Leo didn't gauge the reality that his selfless acts brought me closer to him. He remained unaware of the hook that landed on me or the reel he had me in and how every day I was tripping, etching closer to my fall.

Watching him brood every day, peering at the horizon as if he wanted to drink up the view before leaving, broke me. What hurt more was my inability to confess that I was him to stay.

Our interview – another live one – was set from our apartment.

Leo combed through every question a few times before approving it. After Antonio's debacle on live television, Leo had always played cautiously. 

According to him, this interview was bigger than Oprah's for which I tried hard, not to roll my eyes.

I felt like a mindless woman, gambling my luck at another interview after being burnt once.

Maybe I was doomed. Or maybe I could be saved.

That was the thing about trust falls - you would jump nevertheless. You would toss your body off a cliff, hoping the faith you have in your partner would save you. As was with trust falls, I too jumped with the hope of being caught.

Only one could break my fall. Only one could save me.

We sat on the couch, hand in hand for the cameras. Leo and I epitomized the perfect couple. I smiled at the cameras but felt a pang in my chest. 

I lost control of my heart to a man who was leaving me. Leaving comfort and peace behind, subjecting his soul back to the ravages of human destruction.

The interviewer shifted in her seat, checking herself in the mirror. She tossed her blond locks over her shoulders and crossed her slender legs. She batted her lips, smearing the red lip color to be evenly distributed. 

After a tight head nod to her makeup artist, she lent her mirror and smile away.

Leo and I shared a look and every time our eyes met, I was transported back to the times we had at the beginning - those peaceful moments when nothing else mattered. Those tranquil times when future worries seemed tiny from the horizon. In retrospect, I should have prepared myself for doomsday.

"Here's the thing." The interviewer glanced at both of us, smiling. "Leo had vetted our questions so there's nothing like a Jack in the Box situation but there'll still be some hard-hitting questions."

I looked over to Leo whose hand rested over mine. He gave it a gentle squeeze, his lips drawing into a thin line when he nodded. I trusted Leo to know better, do better, so I nodded along.

The room turned warmer even with the air conditioning working at full speed. 

The lights – one focused on the interviewer who sat near us and two others kept on either side of me and Leo – heated the place like an inferno. My face was melting into a puddle of makeup and sweat.

"Let me." Leo drew tissues from a nearby box and dabbed my forehead and the sides of my face.

He leaned closer, meticulous scanning every inch of my skin to dry out any rogue beads. His gaze lingered and for a mere moment, it was only us.

The people, noises, and everything around us became irrelevant.

"Now, it's perfect." He winked; an airy set of words warmed my cheeks. "Not that you weren't before."

"That's maah-dey sweet of you." The interviewer, in her southern drawl, broke our reverie. "Shall we begin?"

Leo straightened, pulling his lapel to smoothen the creases. I slid my hands over my soft pink dress, mirroring his action.

The first couple of questions were easy. They were kept light and fluffy to get the tabloids to gobble it up. 

Questions about how we first met and our first interaction went with me narrating the saga about a fictional ball - that never happened and Leo dancing with me - also a lie.

As scandalous as it was, I would never forget our real first meeting. 

A drunk imbecile and a stranger draped with confidence and comfort wasn't the story for the tabloids or the world. It was a story only for me.

Next came the sadder, hard hitters of the interview – the question about Antonio and his tape.

Leo took over the narration and with creased eyebrows and huffed breaths, spoke in a hushed tone. He conveyed his heartbreak over his brother's life being a media target and me, treated as a slaughterhouse cattle.

Then he leaned forward, turning back to glance at me for a mere moment. 

"I couldn't stand watching the media torture Zemira. She wasn't responsible for anything except for being the girl whom I couldn't have till then."

The interview palmed her chest, cooing soft awes. The camera focused on me. Although I tried faking it, I couldn't help but adore the man who, with mere words, drove the game home.

"Next one's for you, Zem." The interviewer looked at the camera, a blush rising on her cheeks with her lips pressed shut, abandoning any hope of a smile. I knew then that a harder question was coming. "When did you know you'd fallen in love?"

I was irrevocably and desperately, head, heels and anything betwixt, falling for Leo. With no hopes of reciprocation, I braved a smile and straightened to address the question.

"That answer is difficult, Jane," I said, trying the manoeuvring technique of going around the topic. "I'd fallen for Leo when he took over the interview to defend me. I kept falling for him whenever our eyes met. But I'd..."

I looked to my side. Leo maintained his forward lean, glancing back at me, fisted hand resting his chin. He seemed bored by my narration and that gave me a sense of relief.

I didn't want him to know my next words were also true.

"...I had surely fallen in love with no hope for redemption when he opened up to me about his duty. His mission and his suffering for the service to this great nation."

I glanced to his side. Leo's previous, bored demeanor faded into something unreadable. 

He was facing me completely. Not the camera; me. Without any hint of improvisation, he slid closer and kissed my forehead.

My eyes fluttered and my heartbeats crashed with the sudden display of affection. It was unplanned yet perfect. Fake yet earth-shattering. It purified my soul of all doubts and replanted hope.

Maybe, Leo felt something too.

The interview ran on for another hour. Back and forth, banters and loads of laughter embedded with questions for the audience to adore us even more.

When it ended, Leo and I moved upstairs to let the crew pack up in peace.

The warm and humid winds were a relief package from nature after the artificial cool air I was forced to inhale while narrating sugar-coated speeches.

"Do you think it went well?" Leo asked. He stood near the edge of the terrace, holding onto the metal railing and leaning over to view the ground.

"If you'd fall from here, there's no doctor who can save you. You know that, right?"

Registering my words, Leo moved back and walked over. With a finger tucked under my chin, he tipped my face up.

"We need a backup, Zem Zem. Once I leave-"

My fingers reached over to his lips, hovering but not touching.

How was I supposed to tell him I didn't need a backup or another man? I wanted him to redeem me by staying back. I wanted him to save me.

My fingers slid from his soft lips to his calloused palm. The timing was perfect and so was the setting, readying me to bleed my heart out. 

Leo fused our fingers, drawing me closer. His breath hit the top of my head and I scanned his shoes, unable to match the green, mossy lake I drowned in.

"Leo, I am fall-"

"What is it, my friend?"

Friend.

The illusion of my trust fall had come undone. 

I fell hard but not for Leo. I fell on the rocky surface called heartbreak. My trust fall failed. Leo wasn't there to catch me. 

After all, I jumped off the cliff of love, hoping to be caught while Leo awaited my fall on the plane of friendship.

"Oh, nothing," I said but wasn't sure if words escaped the borders of my lips. "This can wait."

In the aftermath of my leap of faith, I lay on the rocky bed upon which each bone in my body turned into powder. I couldn't tell if the excruciating pain that abraded me was from heartbreak or emotional death. 

There was no blood or cut, no bruise and no fracture still, every part inside of me crumpled into a puddle of broken mass, destroyed by the fall, never to recover.

I feel for a man who never loved me. Who would never love me.

~

Sometimes we jump. We jump and hope to survive.

Other times, someone saves us and rescue our soul.

Hope you liked this chapter. Let me know in the comments.

Do you think Leo would reciprocate when Zem would finally confess?

Or would it be yet another heartbreak for her?