I knew that I am become a hypocrite jerk, I can't choose her, but I can't even stand to see her smiling with another man but me. Not even my hyung who I know had the better attitude. Thats why after I expel Tae hyung, I am the one who run away from the dining room straight to the main door to get the fresh air. Its late but the city never sleep. I walk alone to wandering, asking myself what's I truly want, hyung is right, I have to make a sacrifice.

I don't know what to sacrifice anymore. I doubt every choice. It's like everything seems important to me. My heart thumping so hard, anger taking over me, after a long day I restrain myself to not took her hand and run away from Tae hyung. I don't want to see her with another man. I should be the only man she will smile sweetly too.

I don't know how long it take for me to get to see Eiffel tower so close, the crowd can even affect my mood, so I chose to sit on one of the empty benches, watching the dim light make the surrounding seems so romantic. I look around to see a mockery sight, couples, families come hand in hand with an admiration and love radiating from their soul. I envy of them.

"What a joke, Jeon Jungkook" I murmur, scolding myself while smirking sadly. "You run away from a couple to face thousands in here? Such a wonderful life."

"Ehem.." I snap my head when I sense someone presence from my behind to see a young girl shyly looking at me. "Hey, are you coming alone?" She asks in English which is make me relieved since I can't speak French well. I can hear a giggled from another side where is her friends waiting for her. Oh god, don't tell me.

"I-"

"He's taken." It took my breath away to hear the voice as I freeze on my spot with a wide eye. "Sweety."

"Oh, I am sorry, I don't know." The said young girl nervously said and walking backward and goes away after she whisper something to her friends.

"If I don't know you that much, I would've thought that you come only to chase a woman." She chuckled while take a seat beside me. Skin of our hand touching each other which is make my inside exploded.

I try to make myself comfortable and a pink tint draw on my cheeks. I blush.

"Why you left Tae hyung?" I asked.

"Why you left me?" She asks back to make me to look at her which is now looking at me too. Our eyes met and it took all of my everything to not taste those sensual red lips.

"I don't know." I said more like a whisper.

"You don't know." She repeats after me. I shake my head and choose to say the truth because I don't want to regret everything.

"Maybe I just get enough of him being so close with you." It's embarrassing but I think it's better to tell her what I truly feel. She always understands me very well, I wish she can do that too this time. "He knows you more than me, I..." my eyes scanned anywhere but her when I try to choose the words, but I can't find it.

"Jealous?" She asked with that tiny smile make my heart clenched. I nod slowly make her hand found its way to cup my jaw. "Don't be. And if you don't want me to be close with any other of your friends, I'll go away." I look at her features who just smiling at me.

"Go where?" I ask furrowing my brows as my heart drumming inside, worried.

"Depend on where you want me to go."

"I am sorry." Finally, I said the things that weighting my heart. "That I am being an egoistic asshole, but I want you. I need you. I really do." My voice weakened, get even softer as I am afraid to show her the weak side of me. The truth. That I am only a weak man.

"But you can't treat us this way." I nod at her statement sadly. "But whatever your choice is, it will still disappoint me. It will still hurt me." She said bravely as her eyes look at mine, look! She is a kind person who is still thinking about others on top of her bad situation. If only I met her sooner than with Jennie, maybe, I will have her in my heart, my bed, officially as a wife. "Jennie still counted as my best friend. And I am only a slut who try to take what's hers even thought I know for who your heart belongs to."

"Lis!" I protest at how she marks herself as a slut. She is the princess, the one who deserve to be loved by entire world, but I have the queen already beside me. What should I do?

"I can't understand your feeling. I am sorry."

And don't know why after her words, my heart clenched easily like a wet sponge.

--
It's been a month already without her. The next day after the talk we left France. It's not a pleasure feeling when Tae hyung become the one who take her home. While I can't do much for that. She gave up, that's why I never come to her place anymore or just simply text her.

I respect her decision. Who would choose to become a mistress rather than become someone who is loved entirely by a good man like Tae hyung. I understand.

So, I just stay back and living my old live, with the pain in my head and the new one in my chest. It's getting worst as the feeling eat me alive. The pain in my head can't even compared anymore. The fear of losing someone who is not mine in the first place is so strong that I can't focus on whatever I do, I can't eat properly, and Jennie start to question me.

I don't know it's a good thing to be brag or not anymore since the spark is never there, but Jennie is staying with me longer than before. She will spend 5 days in a week in the house.

"I really want to eat something nice." Jennie whining in front of me as we had dinner together. It's such a disrespectful act to talk when the maid who cook for us is still around.

"Like what?" I keep on asking in the end as I munch the meat.

"Like what Lisa always made." My heart stops the beats to only hearing her name. It's a bad thing, right? I am zoning out for a while before composing myself because Jennie is now staring at me. "But I can't have them anymore."

"Why don't you come to her and ask for some?" I said soullessly knowing that me myself miss the taste of her food too. But just too coward to admit.

"She can't be reached. I can't call her; I think she blocked me or simply changing the number. I don't know." She sadly said make me frown and wondering why is Lisa trying that hard, am I that bad?

"Then how about to have dinner at Jin's restaurant?" I initiate make the woman in front of me showing me her gummy smile while clasping her hand. And she nods repeatedly like a child. Such a cutie pie but she doesn't the one who I want to see right now.

--
"Lisa?" She heard a voice when she just arrived at the restaurant. She turns around and found her ex-best friend Jennie who just watch her as if she sees ghost.

"Unnie?" She bows at Jennie anyway with a thin smile forming on her lips.

"Why are you in here?" Mindlessly the older ask to make the younger a little bit confuse at what to answer.

"Eum... to eat?" Lisa not even sure.

"Emm..." the older nod. "I can't reach you anymore, you change your number?" She asks to make the younger watching her hesitantly. She nods nervously. "You didn't tell me."

"I-" her hesitant answer was cut by someone's from her behind which is make the goosebump all over her body as she turns her body to the voice owner.

"Come on Jen-" God damn it. He is standing effortlessly like a god itself. Perfect and alluring at the same time. His forehead was exhibited that night, with a black blazer and white shirt under neat it. His eyes widened at the sight of the woman he missed the most.

With a white dress which is stop in the middle of her tight, and a high ponytail and those red lips, it's totally made the man heart go weak. Realizing on how much he had lost her.

"Lisa?" She nods awkwardly and bowing before Jennie approaching the man and took his hand in hers. The sight never leaving the younger eyes and it squeeze her heart no matter how hard she tried to throw away everything about him.

"It's a surprise you came to the restaurant since you are so good at cooking." She commented at Lisa make the girl look up to see her eyes. "And you look stunning too. Are you perhaps, dating someone?"

Jennie teases the younger make both of the people around her uncomfortably shifting their position. Lisa was trying to dodge Jungkook glare at the time when her friend shows up.

"Oh hi, there, are we doing reunion?" Said the man with the smile as he approaches Lisa and put his hand around her waist upon watching the couple in front of them holding hand intimately.

"Tae hyung?"

--
"Are you dating hyung?" She doesn't surprise anymore when she found Jungkook had wait for her exiting the comfort room in the middle of their dinner. It supposed to be a good dinner not until Jennie and Tae insisting to sit on the same table and had double date. Just for the two to argue like two dogs like right now after Lisa left to comfort room and its sure make a terrible headache to Jungkook, that's why he left too.

"He wants a proper dinner for me." She refuses to answer but he still insists.

"Aren't you a good cooker?"

"Well, I am a little busy nowadays."

"Do you remember when we live together, you told me to not forget to take proper food, to stay healthy." Jungkook said as he frowns totally feel sad about her condition. She looks pale and skinnier than the last time they met. "I can't stand to see you like this." He said before taking her by the waist and hugging her.

"You shouldn't do this, Jungkook-ssi." Said Lisa between her sobs. She doesn't know why suddenly she gets emotional. As if all the load on her shoulder would disappear if she leaned on him, if she hugs him, if she has him. "Unnie must be waiting for you."

"I am sorry for being selfish, but I want you." He said emotionally burying his face on her neck. "Please don't love anyone but me." He knows it's too much of his ego to want two womans. "Please, let us talk. I promise you I'll back away after we talk about this. Please don't run away."