Here we go.

"why do you think you're here?" she asks

I don't say anything and just let her sit there in an uncomfortable silence, don't judge me I just want to see how long she lasts. for the average therapist is all of like 10 minutes of silence before they crack.

"okay listen I get that you don't want to be here"

I snort "really, is it that obvious?" I ask sarcastically.

"I'm here for you, you only get out what you put in"

"that's what he said" I joke and the tattooed god snorts.

"Ms. Jones-"

"call me Tatum Ms. Jones was my good for nothing excuse of a mother" I say

"tell me about her" she says

"I think not, I haven't been here for long enough to start that deep into my shit"

"okay, okay I understand lets go a little on the surface. What about your old school and old friends?"

"I didn't have friends I had party partners, and druggies"

"and why is that?" seriously repeating the same question.

"I grew up around it and much more, some things you just need to forget. I didn't want friends and I don't want them now. That's what you people don't understand. I don't want to be here"

"you people"

"People who don't grow up around poverty and drugs, and god knows what else they live in a bubble. If they don't see it happen it didn't really happen. Everybody here has been born into money over half of them are readying to take over their families companies and stuff. Do you think anyone of them could even comprehend my life. You've read my file and you know exactly why I'm here" I say and she nods "I have been taking care of myself the way a grown up was supposed to since I was 6, I knew how to pay bills by 7 years old I had to since that was a year after my dad left and my mom didn't want to be a mom anymore. I learned what Narcan was at the age of 10 and by 12 or 13 I knew what prostitution was. You wanna know why I knew what it was, it was my moms profession. You know, whatever it takes to get the drugs it doesn't matter that I have a almost teen daughter who had to sign herself up for homeschool and teach herself because her mom forgot to register her. Its okay to have the sons of your male friends take something that wasn't theirs to take. Do you want to know how many times I've saved her life as in if I wasn't there she would've been dead. I stopped counting after I think 26 or something like that but I stopped because it became trivial. When I was about 13 maybe 14 I got taken from my moms house and put into foster care because I didn't know if I had any relatives. Hell, I didn't even know when my birthday was because my mom stopped celebrating it when I was 6, in her words there's no use to celebrate something that shouldn't be celebrated. She blamed everything bad that ever happened to her on me. Maybe it way true I mean I was diagnosed with an auto-immune disease when I was 6 and my dad left because he couldn't handle the pressure. My mom didn't have enough money at the time to pay for treatments so my grandparents did. At this particular point in time my mom was still herself and not a drug whore. My dad was a piece of shit, he left when things became "too hard" I say with air quotes "I was 13 when I had sex for the first time and let me tell you, it wasn't my choice. And it wasn't the last time something like that was taken from me and surprisingly it didn't happen on my mothers accord if you count her clients sons it was one of my supposed foster brothers that took it from me. I bounced foster home to foster home for two years some okay some bad, they all did it for one reason, the money. They get money to take in the unwanted and messed up kid, they are viewed as hero's and saviors and the kids are the poor souls they saved. So, let me tell you a little secret some foster homes are just as bad as the home they took you from and some are worse. I was only in the system for 2 years and I know that it isn't what everyone else makes it out to be... its worse. I can't imagine what its like spending your whole life in that place. So don't sit over there on your high horse and act like you know what the hell I've gone through like you understand because let me tell you, you don't. And until it happens to you, you wont know how I or it feels. Now we're done here I'll see you next session" at some point I started yelling but I don't know when.

"okay, I won't push you"

"you kind of already did, I just revealed things I haven't talked about in years and if we don't go slow and work our way to the other stuff I'll tell you this, I won't make it through sobriety. I don't know how many patients you've had like me since you graduated. But, I can guess not very many since your diploma is hung on your wall and the date on it is 3 years ago. And the fact that you treat a bunch of spoiled brats who self medicate not to forget their past but to deal with the stress says a lot all by itself. I am in actual need of therapy. So I'm going to ask you this once and you need to give me an honest answer. Not one that is driven by your need to be successful. Not one that is your driven need to help people. But, by the years of schooling it took to get that diploma" I point to the certificate hanging on the wall. "again I'm only going to ask this once...can you help me or do I need to ask my parents to find someone who can?" I ask and she seems shocked but composes herself rather quickly.

"yes"

"yes what?" I push

"yes I can help you"

" Good. Now take that confidence and use that in your sessions. And take it slow, take your time don't rush we're not going to have a breakthrough on the first session and we might not get one on the 20th but I promise we'll get there if you're patient with me. Remember I lived through this and in order to heal I will have to live through it again. All you have to do is shut up and listen" I say and she nods

"Kodiak take Tatum to her room please"

"sure" he says and I realize it's the first time he's talked since I've been here. His is stirring a deep electricity within me. That's something I've never felt like this deep unsaid gravitational pull that is pulling me towards him.

We walk out of the room and I feel him staring. Therapy is the only time I talk like that, but once I'm out I go back to not talking. We are walking in silence and its not awkward or comfortable it just is. We get to what I am assuming is my room when I turn to him to thank him. His deep emerald eyes go dark when they meet my hazel ones.

"ugh" he says and I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion. "screw it" he says and stalks towards me.

He quickly pins my arms to the wall behind me and presses his body against mine he's within kissing distance. As if he read my mind his eyes immediately go to my lips and I suck in a anticipating breath and look into his eyes as he starts to lean in.