I swear to every God there is that if i wasn't confined to my bed right now I would run out of this room and never come back. I would hit him with a frying pan if I had one. I hate him. The hate in my veins are like lava burning everything in its path. The pain in my stomach amplifies as I go to sit up. I use the remote and the silence is so awkward with the mechanical whirring in the background.

He rushes to me when he sees me hiss in pain. "No" i mutter and he nods and steps back. I take a deep breath "why are you here?" I ask.

"uh I...it was actually an accident I used to work for the FBI but came back for a special case. One that I left my family for" he says and my eyes snap to his.

"what?" i ask unbelieving.

"I was put undercover as a member of the Italian mob. I worked my way to the top in order to take down the leader. When all of the sudden I was going in for the arrest and the guy I had spent the better part of 5 years hunting. Then this new guy comes in and takes over and i found someone to take in, and dare i say it someone worse than the guy before him. So I started a new hunt, made sure i was this guys right hand man. I was so deep into this i couldn't go back now. Not knowing this guy was out there. I spent another 6-7 years deep undercover. Then one day a girl passed out in Antonios arms gets brought into a room. All i could think is she looks so much like Grace. I asked him what her name was and he said Tatum" he says tears gathering in his eyes mine matching his.

"And i realized that all of these years have gone by and my little girl wasn't so little anymore" he says crying and I start crying too. "I see so much of what was good in your mother in you. You grew up strong despite what you've been through. And I am so sorry I wasn't there for you. I am so sorry I didn't protect you" he says and i break down crying.

After all of these years he had a reason for being gone. I thought he just left. "Daddy" i cry out between sobs. He runs to me and wraps his arm around me. Not too tight minding my wounds.

"Oh my little girl. My baby girl. I've missed you so much kiddo" he says and i don't say anything but i know he knows i missed him too. I missed my dad and that's why i was so upset with the subject because in my mind he left on his own free will because life became too hard. Knowing now that he didn't leave because he wanted to but because he had to somehow put my anger at ease.

***

Its been a week since my dad came back, i found out he owns the school well his family does. I met my grandparents the ones that paid for my treatments when I was younger. Turns out my mom wouldn't let them see me because of how upset she was about my dad. I told him about our last encounter and he told me that I couldn't help her because she didn't want to be helped. My moms parents knew my dads parents, obviously and the they sent me there to recover. I quickly found out that Mere-Heart Academy was a school for kids looking to council recovering addict and for the recovering addicts them selves hints mine and Stacy's situation.

Kodi hasn't been by as much as i would've liked. Stacy says he feels guilty. But i also know that he was drunk when he slept with Meaghan and according to Robin under some sort of drug given to him in his drink. They later found out Meaghan spiked it and she was taken to jail for possession. Her brother says she dug her own grave and hasn't been to visit her once.

I think back to the last conversation me and Kodi had about his family.

***

(flashback)

"So i need to tell you why this guy came after you" Kodi says nervously tapping his hand and shaking his leg.

"if you aren't ready to tell me i can wait" i say looking at him with sincerity.

"No i need to tell you now" he says and i nod

"okay" i say urging him to tell me.

"okay" he says and takes a breath " no one knows this besides Robin and Stacy. My parents weren't normal people but i thought they were. When i was sixteen i overheard a conversation between my dad and a guy on the phone. I had found out that my dad and mom and even my brother were a part of a very serious group in the government called Elites. They do one thing Extermination. Their sole job was to make the people the government wanted to disappear disappear. After my dad and mom explained this to me. They said i either had to join or they would have to kill me, literally. Being 16 and not wanting to die I stupidly said yes." he explains and i listen to him intently.

"I trained for months and finally when they believed i was ready i got my first job. It was a man who had been a hacker and who hacked into a security thing and stole something. I don't know all of the details. But I went to his house and I was ready. But then I saw him playing with his sons. His family, he saw me in the window and met me outside to except his fate. He told me that all he wants after he is gone is for his family to be taken care of. I pulled up my gun ready to shoot him i even had my finger on the trigger. But, in the end i couldn't do it. I looked over and saw his whole family crying and i knew then i couldn't take him from his family. So, instead i decided to get him out of the country or just hide him. I called in a family favor knowing that this guy would let my parents know that I had called in the favor. Knowing this guy he would tell them that i was saving a target but wouldn't dare tell them where he was sending them because his clientele would find out and he would be out of business" he explains

"i told him i needed four passports and 50,000 in cash. New identities. I didn't want to know where they were going so that if they asked i could honestly answer with i don't know. I met up with my dad and he made the decision to spare me but told me to run and that it would be in my best interest if i never came back. So I did, I ran, found myself homeless in need of money and without food. When a man saved me and said that if i wanted to stay with him i needed to earn my keep." he says and i still listen quietly nodding.

"It was the Italian mob, I did some jobs for them got hooked on drugs. But eventually they found out who my family was and asked me to get rid of a guy. Once again i couldn't do it and I told the target to run. I ran from the mob. I had severe withdrawal symptoms. Found my way to Mere-Heart and never looked back" he said and i nod looking at him. He is sitting on the edge of my bed looking at his hands.

"i understand if you don't want me to be around you anymore and I-" i cut him off by smashing my lips to his.

I pull back and look at him "no one can be judged for past decisions, we've all done things we aren't proud of myself included" i say and he nods

(end of flashback)

***

We've all done things we aren't proud of. Mistakes are made but we're human. But I know where I'm going. I am going to see the tattooed god i haven't seen in a while. I am gonna tell him how i feel come hell or high-water. i love him and he needs to know that even if he doesn't feel the same way.

***

twenty minutes later i am knocking on the door. When it opens up i see a very shirtless Kodi and lose my train of thought why am i here again? oh right!

"Hey Kodi"