Arthit POV

PAIN.

It's all I've been feeling lately. It's been a week since his death and still I'm torn between crying for him and cursing on him. Instead of love I had for him previously I'm hating him now.

Then there's also self-hate for loving that man.

How can he do this to me ?
How can he be this brainless ?
Selfish ?

And what did he achieve by doing this ?
Was it my fault ? If so what is it ?

Am I lacking something or did I force him ?

"WHAT THE BLOODY FUVKING HELL IS MY FAULT THAT YOU BLOODY HELL GAVE ME THIS PUNISHMENT KONGOIB ?"

I fell on the floor and started hitting it . I want to scream at him and hit him so hard to r making me go through this .

Everything is good between us. We even went on a date on the day he........

I can't fucking say what he did. Why. Why .. why.

"please make me go back in the time . I'll save him if he's suffering because of me I'll die not him . God please give him back to me please. I can't live like this. "

Please
Please
Please

I swayed a little before I look straight to the big photoframe in front of me.

It's a photo of us. When we were still in university and goofy . He's so happy .

We're so happy in that. I went to that.

I touched it . It's so cold to touch . And then suddenly it hit me. It's cold .

So cold just like him. Just like he was when I touched him for the last time.
In the casket.

Fury rose in me. I took the frame and threw it to the corner of the room. It broke and Kongpob's face looked so disfigured and a smile grew on my face. His face is so contorted in that angle and laughed , it's like he's in pain too .

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5 seconds is all it took for me to run and remove all the broken glass on the frame to clean it . To see his face clearly and to see his eyes , nose ,lips ,teeth ears and everything I that I can see.

I miss him so much . So damn fucking much .

"KONGPOB YOU PROMISED TO ME THAT YOU'LL ALWAYS STAY BESIDE ME. AND THAT YOU'LL NEVER LEAVE ME ALONE. THEN WHY ? WHERE ARE YOU ? IM ALONE PLEASE COME TO ME."

I shouted so loud that i could hear the resound of my voice I sobbed again before darkness enveloped me .

A/N :. Sorry for the shirt chapters. It's taking a lot of energy to write this story as it is so near to my heart . I can't possibly carry on writing before I cry a bucket. Because in this story I put myself in shoes of Kongpob .

So please keep lots of tissues with you while reading . I feel like many will dislike me after this but , sorry I intend to make it full of emotions and love.